for "mini_nanowrimo" hence no friends lock 6
i'm unsure if i need a warning or not. i gave no warning when i posted the part about holly coming out of the abortion clinic. but well...this has sex in it. actually it's all sex. haha, yeah, it's all sex.
~~~
Holly sat up slightly as Rory's leg touched hers. He didn't look up, didn't act like anything had just changed, but she knew. It's just another thing to add to the list, she thought. She couldn't place when it had started but she knew that Rory wanted her. More than anything else, she knew when these useless boys wanted to fuck her. If it was like the first time, she'd have felt shamed and easy, but it wasn't the first time and it didn't matter anymore. She was beyond damaged good now.
A quiet arrogance pushed her and she moved slowly. Confidence is easy when you're sure they won't say no. She grabbed Rory's hand, interlocking their fingers together. He let go of his drink to steady her as she climbed into his lap. Her hand swiped though her hair, pushing it away from her face. Their first kiss was awkward and clumsy. Rory tentatively tried for more dominance in the kiss. Holly rolled her eyes and hips. Rory groaned and Holly reached behind her to turn up the radio. It was hard to believe less than an hour ago she'd been outside of Jake's hospital room, waiting to find out if he was going to die or not. It was harder to believe that with Rory's lips on her neck and a too-loud live recording of the Dead Boys coming through her radio.
She squirmed in his lap as he took off her shirt. It was different doing this with Rory. She hadn't thought about their friendship until she could feel his erection through his jeans. Five years was a long time. Five years was a long time when you were only nineteen, anyway. Holly knew she wasn't always easy to deal with, especially every time Stilted toured without her. She would be a mess but Rory always stuck with her throughout all of it and now he was trying to pull down her bra with his teeth. Holly laughed and then nuzzled her face into his when he looked hurt.
"Just touch me, Rory. Touch me," Holly purred.
The hands that slid up her back were a little rough but not too different from the hands that had been there before. Holly was angry at herself for even thinking of Jake right now. She knew this was different because Rory actually wanted her and because she wasn't going to just lay down and take it this time.
Rory tried to kiss her again and while she did kiss him back, she was impatient. She was bored. She was confused that she could feel empty, all things considered. She broke the kiss and stood. She took off the rest of her clothes and walked, very slowly to her bed. She looked over her shoulder and Rory was behind her in an instant, desperately yanking downward on his blue jeans. Holly looked back down and smiled at her wrinkled bed sheets, listening to Rory's breath catch in his throat.
"We should use. . .I have a. . ." Rory held a condom in his hand, at his side. Holly merely shrugged, smiled warmly and used both hands to push him down on the bed.
"I'm on top."
If Rory thought he really knew who Holly was had has no illusions anymore. This naked body, moving on top his, wasn't the same girl who used to wear green paper clip earrings and home made Stilted t-shirts. Her blue eyes were glazed and a darker shade than he had ever seen. He didn't seem to mind as she shook her head sending her hair to swaying back and forth. Rory's toes curled to the point of pain and he gripped Holly's waist hard in his hands. He pushed and pulled at her frantically, while she made soft noises in the back of her throat. He'd never had a girl like this before. they were all so insecure and timid, but Holly seemed free from that. It was like she didn't even care. Rory had a fleeting glimpse of disappointment flash across her face before he came inside of her. Groaning his release over the music, over her whispering his name.
"I love you," he said. Holly ran her hands through his unruly dark hair, kissed his forehead and mumbled something into his shoulder. Rory couldn't help his heavy eyelids, his body relaxing into the warmth of the bed and soft skin around him.
"Hmmm?" he questioned.
He had fallen asleep before he heard her apologize.
~~~
750 words. there are quiet a few things i want to say about this part. firstly, i didn't bother to edit it. i don't know why, i guess i just forget in my excitement in actually writing the part that took me years to do. [yes, i realize it's not worth the wait but...shut up.]
secondly, it dawned on me that very slowly all my character are turning into bastards. holly sees herself as this victimized little girl. rory's a stupid teenage boy that only wants sex. jake is so consumed with his love for Him that he uses holly [and gets her knocked up] and then tries to selfishly kill himself. the only nice person is Him and right at the start of the novel he masturbates with holly's scarf... what the fuck?!
still i'm bemused by all this because they started off so sweet. holly was unrealistically innocent and totally perfect, now she's a self-made martyr.
also, every single thing i've written so far ends in a zero. [in the word count.] it's that weird?!
~~~
Holly sat up slightly as Rory's leg touched hers. He didn't look up, didn't act like anything had just changed, but she knew. It's just another thing to add to the list, she thought. She couldn't place when it had started but she knew that Rory wanted her. More than anything else, she knew when these useless boys wanted to fuck her. If it was like the first time, she'd have felt shamed and easy, but it wasn't the first time and it didn't matter anymore. She was beyond damaged good now.
A quiet arrogance pushed her and she moved slowly. Confidence is easy when you're sure they won't say no. She grabbed Rory's hand, interlocking their fingers together. He let go of his drink to steady her as she climbed into his lap. Her hand swiped though her hair, pushing it away from her face. Their first kiss was awkward and clumsy. Rory tentatively tried for more dominance in the kiss. Holly rolled her eyes and hips. Rory groaned and Holly reached behind her to turn up the radio. It was hard to believe less than an hour ago she'd been outside of Jake's hospital room, waiting to find out if he was going to die or not. It was harder to believe that with Rory's lips on her neck and a too-loud live recording of the Dead Boys coming through her radio.
She squirmed in his lap as he took off her shirt. It was different doing this with Rory. She hadn't thought about their friendship until she could feel his erection through his jeans. Five years was a long time. Five years was a long time when you were only nineteen, anyway. Holly knew she wasn't always easy to deal with, especially every time Stilted toured without her. She would be a mess but Rory always stuck with her throughout all of it and now he was trying to pull down her bra with his teeth. Holly laughed and then nuzzled her face into his when he looked hurt.
"Just touch me, Rory. Touch me," Holly purred.
The hands that slid up her back were a little rough but not too different from the hands that had been there before. Holly was angry at herself for even thinking of Jake right now. She knew this was different because Rory actually wanted her and because she wasn't going to just lay down and take it this time.
Rory tried to kiss her again and while she did kiss him back, she was impatient. She was bored. She was confused that she could feel empty, all things considered. She broke the kiss and stood. She took off the rest of her clothes and walked, very slowly to her bed. She looked over her shoulder and Rory was behind her in an instant, desperately yanking downward on his blue jeans. Holly looked back down and smiled at her wrinkled bed sheets, listening to Rory's breath catch in his throat.
"We should use. . .I have a. . ." Rory held a condom in his hand, at his side. Holly merely shrugged, smiled warmly and used both hands to push him down on the bed.
"I'm on top."
If Rory thought he really knew who Holly was had has no illusions anymore. This naked body, moving on top his, wasn't the same girl who used to wear green paper clip earrings and home made Stilted t-shirts. Her blue eyes were glazed and a darker shade than he had ever seen. He didn't seem to mind as she shook her head sending her hair to swaying back and forth. Rory's toes curled to the point of pain and he gripped Holly's waist hard in his hands. He pushed and pulled at her frantically, while she made soft noises in the back of her throat. He'd never had a girl like this before. they were all so insecure and timid, but Holly seemed free from that. It was like she didn't even care. Rory had a fleeting glimpse of disappointment flash across her face before he came inside of her. Groaning his release over the music, over her whispering his name.
"I love you," he said. Holly ran her hands through his unruly dark hair, kissed his forehead and mumbled something into his shoulder. Rory couldn't help his heavy eyelids, his body relaxing into the warmth of the bed and soft skin around him.
"Hmmm?" he questioned.
He had fallen asleep before he heard her apologize.
~~~
750 words. there are quiet a few things i want to say about this part. firstly, i didn't bother to edit it. i don't know why, i guess i just forget in my excitement in actually writing the part that took me years to do. [yes, i realize it's not worth the wait but...shut up.]
secondly, it dawned on me that very slowly all my character are turning into bastards. holly sees herself as this victimized little girl. rory's a stupid teenage boy that only wants sex. jake is so consumed with his love for Him that he uses holly [and gets her knocked up] and then tries to selfishly kill himself. the only nice person is Him and right at the start of the novel he masturbates with holly's scarf... what the fuck?!
still i'm bemused by all this because they started off so sweet. holly was unrealistically innocent and totally perfect, now she's a self-made martyr.
also, every single thing i've written so far ends in a zero. [in the word count.] it's that weird?!