Comments | velvet_mace: Since the contest is over...

velvet_mace

Since the contest is over...

Sep 20, 2005 00:21

I'm putting this on my LJ.

TITLE: Need
PAIRING: Al x Ed x Roy
RATING: R
WARNINGS: Pedophilia, Rape, Bondage, kidnapping, drugs, disturbing sexual content, disturbing imagery, Spoilers for the end of the series and movie, sorta, NOT BRAIN SAFE!

Word count: 2948

( Read more... )

Comments 28

(The comment has been removed)

velvet_mace September 20 2005, 07:59:34 UTC

Thanks! And you helped me decide something. I was considering not posting this up on the communities, but you made me realize that maybe a lot of people haven't seen this yet.

This was my contest entry. It lost (aw) but the one that won was damn awesome, so I don't feel too bad.

cherrymelle September 20 2005, 09:38:06 UTC

That was disgustingly horrifying and yet still good. I am not sure that makes much sense but that's what I think.

I think the most disgusting is not the yucky chimera, even with its disturbing raping and killing habits, but your description of Al. Watching a sweet soul as Al turned in this cold and cynical doll, accepting the unthinkable, is what is really disgusting. It feels like the desecration of something holy.

velvet_mace September 20 2005, 16:15:27 UTC

LOL... it was SUPPOSED to be squicky. And yes the focus of the fic is AL, and how he came to turn from a caring loving individual to a souless doll capable of the most dispicable acts. Hopefully the reasons make sense. Now if Roy hadn't been such a complete unremorceful pedarist, Al probably would never have attempted to bring Ed back that way, but Al's trust in adults was pretty well shattered by him.

It's tragic.

engine_blue April 4 2006, 04:05:35 UTC

you should have explained that more and went all in depth! You need a scene of Al angst somewhere for retorspect! >.< THough you did do it a little, and I realize this is long-done, but still! comments of writing class tell me to tell you this!

velvet_mace April 4 2006, 04:23:41 UTC

If you are taking a writing class you might be interesting in the directors cut version I did of this fic, where I basically lay out all the writerly things I was doing in the background to make the fic work:

It's here.

charcoal_paint September 20 2005, 11:23:11 UTC

oO

Very original...very good...but poor Roy. And Ed, on that part. But mainly Al. xD

Keep up the good work. ^^

velvet_mace September 20 2005, 16:18:15 UTC

I honestly don't feel too sorry for Roy. Even to the very end he never recognised that he was RAPING the boys against their will. He was even contemplating raping Al again when he came visiting. He never owned up to his actions. And what happened to the boys was at least partially due to how he treated them.

I feel very sorry for Al and Ed.

asidian September 20 2005, 12:09:25 UTC

...-I- hadn't seen this yet. And I'm still trying to decide whether I'm glad I did.

...that is a compliment, btw. Take it to mean that you've disturbed me. because you have. *unsettled*

velvet_mace September 20 2005, 16:18:34 UTC

Thank you. Unsettled was the feeling I was going for.

mistr3ssquickly September 20 2005, 12:13:12 UTC

What an amazing story. Scary and creepy and *sad*, but amazing nonetheless. I feel sorry for *everyone* here. Beautifully done!!!

velvet_mace September 20 2005, 16:20:19 UTC

Yes it was sad. Though Roy was getting some just deserts. It's not that Roy was a bad person per se, but he was massively deluding himself, and ultimately his selfishness helped lead to the downfall of the boys.