Comments | velvet_mace: I'm doing what I swore I wouldn't

velvet_mace

I'm doing what I swore I wouldn't

Sep 06, 2005 22:04

I'm taking my original squick entry out and replacing it with another fic that is MUCH MUCH more disturbing ( Read more... )

non-con, plot, gifts, angst, fma, roy, rated: nc-17, fic, smut, oc

Comments 45

ushigami September 7 2005, 05:47:19 UTC

YESH! First comment! Ah, it's beautiful, and Greed is so sadistic! There were some errors, but I don't remember where they were, I'll have to reread it again. But yes, the writing is actually quite nice, especially with how Roy finally realizes in the end that there's nothing he can do to save those he cares about. And having Greed smex him up while Alphonse is there and listening was fantastic. XD

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 07:40:13 UTC

I'm glad you like it. It's unbeta'd. I should go and make some corrections, but I'm still a bit burned out about it right not.

(The comment has been removed)

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 06:44:28 UTC

Did that, though I also do mention it in my warnings as well. Sigh.

retsumatsuro September 7 2005, 06:46:08 UTC

o_o; I don't know, I didn't like the second draft, I liked the first draft, especially the beginning with Bradley, and then the end of the third draft where things really changed, where they really got different. I think I just about hit the floor though when I realized exactly what Greed just gave to Roy.

I was like... OMGWTFAL?! It totally blew me away. I actually wanted to cry too. o.o; I dunno if that's pathetic or your awesome powerful writing, but holy wow. I don't think you failed at all. -nods defiantley-

And that's my input!

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 07:37:36 UTC

Glad you like it. As a story it's not too bad, but as SQUICK, it fails miserably. Unfortunately, this isn't an Angst contest.

retsumatsuro September 7 2005, 12:08:48 UTC

Yeah.... Good point on the squick thing.

mikkeneko September 7 2005, 08:10:37 UTC

It's a fascinating fic, but no, not particularly squicky. :) The bit at the end with Al was freaking scary, though. O_O

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 08:21:45 UTC

Yep. I kind of like this... but it failed at what it was SUPPOSED to do.

mikkeneko September 7 2005, 08:12:19 UTC

Also, which version of this fic would you like put up on SS?

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 08:16:28 UTC

The final draft. The other two were either incomplete, or sucked.

velvet_mace September 7 2005, 08:17:22 UTC

But this is as of yet unbeta'd! Give me a day or two before all my errors are archieved for posterity... though flattered you find this good enough to archieve.

mikkeneko September 7 2005, 10:48:10 UTC

Trust me, it is worth archiving. :) I consider you one of my Finds.