Comments | velvet_mace: Undesirable: Chapter 21

velvet_mace

Undesirable: Chapter 21

Aug 16, 2009 22:05

TITLE: Undesirable (A vampire novel)
RATING: NC-17 (This chapter R)
SUMMARY: Wally and George actually dare hope that Darlene will solve their problems. LOL.
Word Count: 6340

( Chapter 21 )

original, undesirable

Comments 23

drelfina August 17 2009, 05:30:24 UTC

Sobered, I listened in as Rose described as best she could what she knew of Lady Nadette's escape. <-- Lady Darlene, isn't it?

And dear god. You keep giving me the jumpies! You keep raising the stakes and first it was George, but it wasn't, it was Wally and Dear god we need Jeffery or something!

THE RESISTANCE OH GOD.

drelfina August 17 2009, 06:12:27 UTC

And Darlene was... I actually liked her. And felt damn sorry for her.

... and how did Abram think he'd get away with it? O_o

velvet_mace August 17 2009, 06:48:35 UTC

She wasn't a saint (She really did screw up with George), but she sure got more than her fair share of bad luck. Some people are like that -- kind of like being accident prone, they just seem to attract disaster.

Why Abram did what he did is the subject of next chapter, but as for getting away with it. I imagine he feels he'd have no more trouble with that than the 12 vampires who were trying very soundly to kill her a couple of chapters back.

You know, there's a down side to being above the law. Sure it sounds nice, but where's the justice?

drelfina August 17 2009, 07:01:08 UTC

Poor Darlene. Just... damn.

It's fiction, but at the same time I wanted her to be marginally happy. Her damn father, her own ... sorta patron? Her.. fuck ,dammit. It sucks for her. >.< and she didn't even get to die with any sort of dignity. Just used, because Vampires are just users.

Yeah, I figured Abram isn't going to give half a shit anyway. I mean, who's going to complain? Jeffery? Jeffery couldn't careless, unless he really decided to spoil and indulge George, but that's unlikely, not with all that trouble George gave him so far.

Thread 11

okaasan59 August 17 2009, 15:29:43 UTC

You are the cliffhanger QUEEN! Damn, this is as engrossing as anything I've read in quite a while. Please feel free to write as much as soon as you can. ^____^

velvet_mace August 17 2009, 18:26:50 UTC

Aw thanks! I'm on a bit of a roll now. I can actually see the end of this behemoth coming.

(The comment has been removed)

velvet_mace August 17 2009, 18:25:13 UTC

Rose is a bit of a twit, but she's only 18 and not particularly bright. I'm sure under other circumstances she'd be fine, if a bit annoyingly vapid, but here she's also working with their captor to break up their relationship, which has to be a pretty damn sucky job.

Darlene got the short end of the stick in life. Her story is tragically unfair. But that's life and I'm a cruel and capricious god.

semipertinent August 19 2009, 15:53:13 UTC

Whew, Jeffery is looking like a darn good option at this point. I'm still clinging to my faint hope that he's somehow part of this supposed resistance wtf.

Hmm, how are they going to get out of this one? I'll take 'George (and maybe Wally) swim across the river to freedom' for 200, Alex. XD No, really, I'm very worried about Geo and Wally's ability to stay together at this point. Geo's a freaking swim champ, but I hope Wally's a strong swimmer. And they have to, you know, make it out of the house first.

Also, if the previous assumption turns out to be wrong, then your misdirection is indeed superior. ^^

velvet_mace August 26 2009, 03:56:46 UTC

Hee hee, Well Jeffrey will be back in the picture pretty soon. As for the swimming, we'll see. I'm not giving things away.

orion117 August 26 2009, 16:30:18 UTC

It was really interesting to see some other perspectives on vampire life, from being turned to seeing other lifestyles. Abram's country harem is very different from the wealthier settings we saw earlier, and Darlene's backstory almost made me feel sorry for her. Your description of her appearance since she couldn't heal herself quickly was very, very creepy. I didn't see her death coming at all, although in retrospect, she had served her purpose. Hearing about the party from Darlene's point of view was another good bit.

Now I'm worried about Wally and George staying together. I'm not sure if I trust the text they got from the resistance, and I just know that Jeffrey is going to reappear, but I can't imagine how or where, so I'm looking forward to that.

velvet_mace August 26 2009, 18:54:53 UTC

Yeah, one of the things I was trying to do was to present vampires as individuals rather than some monolithic enemy, and show their flaws as well as their strengths. Plotwise she'd served her purpose (multiple purposes!) -- but I hope that I didn't leave the impression that I'd callously tossed her away because I was done with her as a character. Her ghost will linger on a bit.

I feel sorry for her as well, though Darlene wasn't a saint. She wasn't a bad person either, just vulnerable, and not hugely likable, and unfortunately not that bright. Her Sire chose her partially because she was palatable, but mostly because she was alone in the world. No one was going to come looking for her too hard when she vanished. She got that way in part through her own ability to piss off the people around her. She was a survivor, and she's got good core values, but she didn't always show the best sense. Not that she deserved what she got, but she really had a knack of picking the worst times to let her temper do the talking, and being ( ... )