Comments | velvet_mace: Undesirable Chapter 16

velvet_mace

Undesirable Chapter 16

Mar 06, 2009 13:33

TITLE: Undesirable (A vampire novel)
RATING: NC-17 (This chapter R)
SUMMARY: George is at the end of his rope, Nadette at the end of her wits and Jeffrey is... well, he's Jeffrey.
WARNINGS: (this chapter) Non-con, Bondage.
Word Count: 6292

( Chapter 16 )

original, undesirable

Comments 21

anonymous March 7 2009, 05:13:03 UTC

Wow, everything was great. Jeffrey, the tension and action, everything! You really have a way of expressing George's panic and also making the escape seem difficult even though Jeffrey gave him instructions on how to escape.

But of course, there's also the question as to why Jeffrey is so invested in George that he'd be willing to become physically harmed for him. And I definitely hope we'll see more of Gregory!

Anyway, so glad that I've been checking your LJ page every few hours for the past few days for this update xD

velvet_mace March 8 2009, 03:07:02 UTC

Thanks!

I'm glad I was able to convey the desparation and need. This has got to motivate him for a while. No more la-de-dah denial about how seriously people are after him.

Aw. What's your name?

regnet March 7 2009, 06:37:17 UTC

Thank you, thank you! I loved it and I'm missing dear Jeffrey already. What a gallant patron, and wonderfully honorable ways (rescuing his little Mouse).

PS: Very nice foreshadowing!

velvet_mace March 8 2009, 03:10:45 UTC

Aw thanks. Heh, I'm foreshadowing stuff that won't happen until near the end of the story. It's fun to seed little clues about.

Jeffrey is pretty damn pissed off with Nadette, but he came up with a solution to insult, injure, and ultimately deprive Nadette of everything she'd stolen from him. That it happened to be with style and grace is just an add.

regnet March 19 2009, 06:11:40 UTC

> Fun to see little clues about

You'll bet that I'll be obsessing over all your clues now. ;-)

> Well, it's safe to say that Nadette has egg all over her face. Here she invited 12 people to come to an auction and the prize has been "mislaid".

I love how devious he was in freeing our hapless Geo. Need an update soon - I've been agonizing over the possibility of witty, lovely and noble Jeffrey being dismembered by the pack of 12 enraged vampires.

Thanks again for all your efforts! ;-)

okaasan59 March 7 2009, 06:43:18 UTC

I was really worried for George as he escaped--I think my heart was pounding as much as his. But now I'm worried about Jeffrey. *bites nails*

velvet_mace March 8 2009, 03:11:46 UTC

It actually was pretty tense writing that scene, too. I had a hard time getting to sleep after writing that.

ocotillo_dawn March 7 2009, 07:07:04 UTC

Most excellent. Jeffrey rules.

Am friending you so I don't have to rely on AFF for my updates.

velvet_mace March 8 2009, 04:08:13 UTC

Cool! AFF isn't that great for updates is it. I'm constantly checking the fics I'm following on there.

arkanefyre March 7 2009, 07:58:19 UTC

YES! I knew I adored Jeffrey for a reason! Team Jeffrey ftw. I find him to be totally endearing, and the way he speaks with George is really sweet.

This chapter mixed tension and fluff and suspense and everything I loved. Awesome chapter! I was with George when he was all "go go go".

<3

velvet_mace March 8 2009, 04:11:42 UTC

I'm kinda enamored of Jeffrey. God it's so damn freeing to be able to write OC's and not have people scream "sue!" at you.