Comments | velvet_mace: Undesirable: Chapter 9

velvet_mace

Undesirable: Chapter 9

Dec 02, 2008 08:55

TITLE: Undesirable (A vampire novel)
RATING: NC-17 (This chapter NC-17)
GENRE: Porn with plot -- heavy on the plot. Action/adventure, some black humor, some romance.
PAIRINGS: George x everyone. Mostly Slash, some het, three and moresomes. Vampire sex.
WARNINGS: (this chapter) Some violence, non-con.
WORD COUNT: 5954

( Chapter 9 )

original, undesirable

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regnet December 3 2008, 16:45:36 UTC

Ah - poor George's luggage. Hopefully we'll learn more about George's mysterious illness. Perhaps it's just lack of sleep. We get that too, as we eagerly await and receive each installment of this story. ;-)

I read this again and have concluded that, as much as I love her for detailing George's appeal, Nadette is evil. If she hangs out with those LA vamps, perhaps she is another one of those micro-managers. All those beautiful women around him, and not being able to even masturbate for a week? Thanks for revving up the story an evil notch! ;-) this orientation is looking more diabolical than Jeffrey's. Perhaps Jeffrey wasn't too bad, after all he did give George lots of pleasure. Wally's cryptic "Sorry" is such a loaded word - it's brilliant!

And we've not seen George this depressed before. That's some really good writing there. THANKS!!

regnet December 3 2008, 17:08:21 UTC

I love your voice. So I'm not sure if these are stylistics or just random typos ... just in case it helps, here they are:

You dare compare harem to slavery (a harem?)
hot prefect friction (perfect)
discipline can't combined with Service (can't be)
sleep with whoever (with whomever)

Thanks again for all your updates!

velvet_mace December 7 2008, 03:11:44 UTC

Thanks! Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It's been kind of crazy around here. I changed all but the first which is a case of language change. Harem is not just a thing but a state of being.

regnet December 11 2008, 06:54:40 UTC

Thanks so much for your responses. Yes, I definitely appreciate how busy you must be this season - and with your kids on vacation at home too. But, like George, I'm an eternal optimist, and I've been counting down the days to your next update. Hopefully soon... hopefully today... hopefully this hour... (you get the picture) ;-)

velvet_mace December 7 2008, 03:12:12 UTC

Yeah, George is kind of down right now. He's had a bad day.

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