Not only is it believable, but it's amazingly compelling. The idea of a "Sue" homunculus not only makes total sense, but the power this Sue holds - the key to all secrets, ever - is compelling, and the way this plays out is both beautiful and sad.
I'm glad you liked it -- but not only did it lose the contest -- it lost really badly. Too gen I expect. Anyway, I kind of lost confidence in this fic, and with it most of my interest. It's nice to see someone actually likes it.
Well, I guess it's not fair of me to say this without reading the other fics, but uh, I want to know HOW it lost? Cause there's some damn awesome plot to this.
I don't know... I don't think it was because the others were that much better written. The one that won was Ambres and it's in her journal. but this didn't come in second, it was like 3rd or 4th out of 5 entries.
Mustang suppressed a completely inappropriate urge to give him a hug.
That just made me laugh out loud :)
I thought it was good: The character just dripping with Gary Stu-ness, but the fact Mustang didn't react made it redeemable. The whole concept was interesting, really. If you chose to continue the story, I know I would read it.
I remember reading this along with the other contest entries, and I liked it then and I like it now. In a way, your Stu out-Mustangs Mustang. He is believable, I think, because Ambrose was created by an alchemist who made herself a real-life Stu (and a wife, and as far as I'm concerned, every woman, het, gay, or bi-, needs a wife).
It might be that the other entries were more emotionally engaging on a first read. A contest vote is more of a snapshot, influenced by the emotions and real-life events the reader is experiencing at the time. Your story is more thought-provoking, and holds up well on a second read-through, because the reader has to wonder, "What would I do if offered the knowledge of the world?"
Anyway, contests are fun and all, but to me it seems like winning a single ballgame, versus winning the season. If I see your name on something, I know it will be worth my time to read, whether I love it or not. There are only a handful of writers I could say that about.
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This is totally, completely awesome.
Not only is it believable, but it's amazingly compelling. The idea of a "Sue" homunculus not only makes total sense, but the power this Sue holds - the key to all secrets, ever - is compelling, and the way this plays out is both beautiful and sad.
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That just made me laugh out loud :)
I thought it was good: The character just dripping with Gary Stu-ness, but the fact Mustang didn't react made it redeemable. The whole concept was interesting, really. If you chose to continue the story, I know I would read it.
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No there's no more of this. It was a oneshot plot device to prove that one could write a sue-fic and have it work.
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It might be that the other entries were more emotionally engaging on a first read. A contest vote is more of a snapshot, influenced by the emotions and real-life events the reader is experiencing at the time. Your story is more thought-provoking, and holds up well on a second read-through, because the reader has to wonder, "What would I do if offered the knowledge of the world?"
Anyway, contests are fun and all, but to me it seems like winning a single ballgame, versus winning the season. If I see your name on something, I know it will be worth my time to read, whether I love it or not. There are only a handful of writers I could say that about.
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