Well, it's been a while since I wrote Roy/Ed WAFF
TITLE: A Costume and A Date
PAIRING: Roy x Ed
GENRE: Fluff/Humor
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 3800
A/N I wrote this for midnightbanshee for her Secret Santa. We all played guessing games to figure out who wrote what, and no one but those who already knew guessed mine was mine. Probably because when was the last time I wrote fluff? It's been a LOOOOOOOONG time.
And this is what santa brought for me: Punished!Roy -- my favorite!
The afternoon was as grim as Roy Mustang's spirits, but he didn't let it slow him down. In fact, he sped up. The sooner he faced his fate, the sooner it would be done with and he could begin strategizing to recoup his losses. Stoically, he stepped out of the car into the slushy drizzle and pulled his heavy greatcoat about him. He felt the ghost of his long past adolescence visit him in the form of a sickening self-consciousness, that turned his stomach into iron. Even the icy rain couldn't cool his cheeks.
He had brought this humiliation on himself. He'd had a full year to prepare for this eventuality, but every time a reminder had come up, he'd put it off.
His excuses were valid. There were rumors of war in Lior, rumors of insurrection in the Northern Hills, sabotage of the railways. There were a thousand pieces of paperwork that needed filling out. Research notes, periodicals, novels - a man had to stay educated. There were … plays that needed patronage, and restaurants that needed assessing. Women who needed to know that someone found them attractive. He had duties to perform. The Winter Solstice Masque simply wasn't a priority. He figured when the time came Hawkeye would think of something.
Hawkeye apparently thought that it wasn't her problem.
That left Roy a single day to find a costume and a date. He had failed miserably at both. The shame of not having the right thing to wear overpowered even Mustang's magnetism, and every single girl in his book had begged off. He wished he could use the same excuse, but sadly putting in an appearance at this affair was mandatory.
"Sir?" came a hesitant voice. "Will there be anything more?"
Roy quickly turned and gave his driver a curt nod. "Dismissed."
Around him the first of the partygoers were arriving - people who had spent months putting together a costume. Women wore generous swathes of brightly colored silk and crinoline, with hats specially made for the occasion with feathers from swans and peacocks. They had fairy wings hand sewn and dyed, and sequins glued artfully to their cheeks and foreheads. The men were not much plainer, dressed up as various animals or in the style of noblemen from previous centuries. There was a tradition of one-upmanship that brought even the stodgiest of generals to doff his plain blue uniform and put on silks that rivaled those of the Xingan Emperor.
Under his greatcoat, Roy was embarrassingly underdressed in an off the rack black turtleneck, and dress slacks. His entire "costume" consisted of a hastily alchemized headband with what he figured could pass for Doberman ears, and a spiked collar and leash, bought an hour earlier at the nearest pet store. Frankly he thought the latter two things were asking for trouble, but without them, he really didn't have a costume. And a half-assed attempt was still better than none at all. As silly as this whole fancy dress affair was, it was tradition and people would read far too much into his rebellion if he totally blew it off.
He turned the edges of his lapel up, and ducked his head down, as though that could hide the black, faux-fur tufted ears. Although he dragged his feet, hesitating to admire the one of the twin dragon sculptures that guarded the entryway inevitably the weight of expectations pushed him into the building proper, and he was forced to surrender his coat to the waiting checker.
Inside the place glittered. Cascading down from the high rafters were snowflakes the size of dishes, that twirled in the breeze from the door. A huge fireplace roared invitingly near a long table filled to near overflowing with rare and expensive treats. A row of comfortable chairs and couches lined one wall, seducing the footsore to pause and rest.
Roy quickly fled to the opposite side of the room and nosed himself into an unused corner. He pretended to admire a fantasyscape of faux snow and real pine trees smothered in tinsel and glittering ornaments. There was a faint but pervasive smell of rubber cement coming off the display that Roy welcomed, figuring it would help drive other people away.
An hour. Enough to let others see he'd indeed come. Then he could make his escape and drink himself stupid at the closest bar. He could do this.
"Mustang! You are unfashionably early this evening! And alone, what a surprise."
Roy pasted on a smile and turned to greet General Hakuro. "Good to see you General."
"Yes," Hakuro replied. Roy took in his costume with mild envy. He wasn't sure what Hakuro was supposed to be, but it involved a lot of flashy, expensive fabric. "Lovely turn out this year. I see you've decided to come as a … dog is it? Very appropriate." His lips chuckled indulgently, but his eyes spoke more scathingly.
He wouldn't thought Roy, half a moment before Hakuro reached out and grabbed the leash draping from Roy's spike-collared neck.
"Well this is a damn useful thing." The older man tugged gently on the strap, making Roy inevitably duck his head. "Maybe you should keep it on with your regular uniform. Keep you in line easier." He chuckled.
Roy's smile was becoming painful. "Thank goodness it's only for one night, General."
Hakuro dropped the leash. "Yes, of course. Now, Mustang -"
"Sir," interrupted Roy quickly, his eyes catching sight of something that looked like a lifeline. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I see one of my alchemists over there, and I really need to speak to him. It's vital."
"Well, don't let work monopolize you," Haraku chided. "I'll catch up with you later, and you can tell me the whole amusing story."
That brought Roy to a stop, mid step away. He turned on his heel. "Amusing story?"
"The disaster that lead you to show here like that. I simply must hear all about it, but go talk with your alchemist. Business before pleasure."
Oh dear God, thought Roy. This was going to be worse than he thought.
He turned back towards the door and scanned the quickly growing crowd, for that brief glimpse of armor he'd seen before. There it was - most definitely Alphonse Elric's head plume, and where Al was then…
A second look made Roy's stomach sink. The plume was Al's but instead of the heavy, spike filled metal, the armor attached was lighter and belonged from an entirely different historical period. Roy gave one last terrified glance back at Hakuro to see him standing, smiling indulgently at him, while chatting with his gaudily dressed wife. It appeared to Roy that they were laughing at him. Knowing Hakuro, he probably was. Dear God, he couldn't go back and admit he was mistaken.
But just as Roy was ready to die of embarrassment he heard a familiar, but muffled voice. "Jeez, Colonel, you are one to give me a hard time about this shindig. Doesn't look like you are taking it that seriously."
Roy turned and looked down. There was, thank goodness, was Edward, a half-eaten pastry in both hands. Roy vaguely remembered sternly lecturing the kid about the importance of attending parties sometime during the summer. He really hadn't expected the kid to take his admonitions to heart, but apparently he had. His costume was impressive.
It was, no question, a fine cat suit. The fur was amazing - soft, fine and short. Roy considered that it might actually be real. The chest and gloves were tufted white, while the rest was a shiny sleek black. Two artfully crafted ears poked up from Ed's loose hair with no trace of a headband to hold them on, And the cut was just perfect. Where many of the animal suited men looked like they were wearing frumpy fur pajamas, Ed's costume clung to his torso and legs like a dancer's leotard. The kid looked great in it.
Almost too great, actually. Roy bit back a compliment that could have easily taken as a come on.
"What. Cat got your tongue?" Fullmetal smirked.
Roy got a hold of himself and grabbed the kid's shoulders. "Fullmetal, the man I wanted to see!" he half shouted. "I need your report as soon as possible."
Ed stared at him, nonplussed. "You mean … now?"
"Yes, yes." Roy scanned the room for a quiet area where he could pull his underling aside. He spotted a nook made by the heavy drapes and a large sculpture of the cities founder. If he backed himself far enough into the corner, he could use Fullmetal's petite body to hide his and …
"It was really nothing, though…" said Ed, as Roy grabbed his upper arm. "The locals solved their problem before we even got there."
Roy halted. "I'm sure there's more than that."
"No," said Ed, firmly. "There isn't."
"You spent a week in Colton, what were you doing?"
Ed's cheeks colored a bit. "There was a library…"
Roy glanced back over at Hakuro. The man seemed to have a small gathering of people around them, and they were all turning to look in his direction. Roy recognized them as Hakuro's toadies. Several of them smiled and waved their hands, gesturing him to join them.
"Honestly, there's nothing to report. Really. Nothing at all. Even the train was on time." Ed followed his eyes over to the group. "And it looks like you are wanted elsewhere."
"Oh no," said Roy firmly, pulling Ed towards sanctuary. "That won't do. There must be something important you can tell me. Anything. Please, Fullmetal, I can't go talking to those people, give me an excuse."
Ed's eyes suddenly lit up. "Ah, I see. Are they going to tease you about your lame costume?"
Roy pleaded with his eyes.
Hakuro and the throng were approaching him, big shit-eating grins on their faces.
"I told you this party was just an excuse for grown men to act like kids," said Ed. "Okay, you owe me."
"Ah, Mustang, have you got it all straightened out now…" Hakuro said.
Ed turned and glowered at the General. "Not even close. Mustang, this can't wait, and I can't talk about it with all these people around either. For gods sake, screw propriety, we need to find a private place to iron this out tonight. Lives depend on it."
Ed sounded very convincing. Roy felt a wave of relief.
"Well, there are a few private meeting rooms down the hall," suggested Hakuro, with just the slightest disappointment in his voice. "Why don't you two go talk your problem out. I'll catch up with you later, Mustang."
They weren't even properly out of earshot before he head the first tittering jabs, "… I hear his date burned his costume after a fight. How embarrassing."
Roy grabbed Ed's shoulder and pushed him away as fast as he could, through the gathering throng to the back of the ballroom, where wide wooden stairs curved elegantly up to a mezzanine. The upstairs was much barer - a few pine boughs covered an antique credenza, and a wreath had been nailed to the wall at the end. Roy tested doors and found the first lead to a small empty sitting room. Good enough.
"As fun as it is hiding in a room with you," Ed said, "I need to tell Al, or he'll get worried. I'll be right back."
Roy turned around just in time to see the heavy paneled door bang shut. He found himself fighting a totally inappropriate sense of disappointment. I've been ditched. The reasonable side of him assured Roy that Ed had done the job assigned - got his Commanding Officer to safety, and there really was no further need for him to actually hang around to entertain him. The boy probably wanted to enjoy the party. Hell, Roy wanted to enjoy the party, and he would be if Hawkeye hadn't chosen this particular day to shirk on him.
Roy had worked himself up into a comfortable self-righteous anger when the door handle shook. A moment of sheer panic wiped all grousing out of his mind and he physically fought the temptation to hide behind one of the overstuffed chairs. Hakuro's come looking for me.
But the person to come inside was the suit of armor he'd seen earlier in the evening. "Hello, Colonel," piped up Al's distinctive voice.
"Al - you look different."
"Yeah," said Al. "It's a costume party. Ed designed it for me. Do you like it."
Of course, thought Roy. "It's quite nice looking. Are you planning on keeping it?"
"Oh no," Al demurred. "I mean it's nice to dress up, but I'm used to my old look. And it's more practical. Tougher."
"Ah I see."
"Did something happen to your costume, Sir?"
"Er…" Roy felt his ears burn. "There was a mix up. I did the best I could, but there just wasn't time. I do appreciate you boys giving me an excuse not to be social. These affairs are rather cut throat."
"Yeah. Really. I heard that you burned your costume in disgust after your date left you for another man. I take that didn't happen."
"As unlikely as it seems, Al, I just don't have a costume or a date for tonight. I never had." Roy covered over his face. "And yes, I know this blows your image of me."
"You know," said Al with what could only be termed a kind voice. "I can't do anything about the date, but I could probably make you something to wear that's … well… less minimal. If you wanted. I made Ed's costume."
"You could?" asked Roy, perking up. "Oh Al, I would be eternally grateful if you would." He could probably spin a story of his outfit being late from the tailors. That would quash the rumors before they spun too far out of control.
Al looked him over. "Hmmm… I think I need a bit more material."
The door banged open again. Ed juggled a plate heaped with food, a cup nearly overflowing with punch and somehow managed to close the door without dropping anything on the floor. "Damn Mustang, I had to tell Hakuro I was just getting us a snack. I don't know if that will hold him off for long. He seems to really want you for something." Ed put his plate on the coffee table and dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs. "Are you sure you should be blowing him off like this? He is a General."
Roy covered his face with his hand. "Oh I'm completely sure."
Al spoke up again, with a sheepish tone. "Sir, I have an idea, but… er… unless you want to walk the halls with me while I look for stuff I can turn into your costume, I'm going to kinda sorta need your clothes. JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES!" Al's arms were up as if warding off Roy's fury. "I swear, I will have something for you quickly."
"Don't worry," said Ed. "I'll baby sit him."
Roy was furiously debating. On one hand, he could redeem himself. On the other hand, if Hakuro barged through that door and found him in his underwear, he really would never live it down. Roy's mind followed down each avenue of possibility paying meticulous attention to the most painful details.
"--MUSTANG!" Ed shouted in his ear.
Roy let out a small shriek and clawed at his shirt, trying to pull his heart back into his chest.
"I can lock the door."
Roy nodded getting a hold of his composure. He pulled his shirt off. The collar and leash got caught in it and there was a bit of a struggle getting himself free again. He glanced quickly at Al whose armor was as expressionless as always. Ed on the other hand was hiding his mouth behind the back of a furry white paw, and Roy could hear just the faintest breathy huffing.
Roy shot Ed a dirty look as he handed Al the shirt. "I out rank you; you need to respect me," he reminded his underling.
Ed wiped his mouth. "Oh I totally respect you, sir," he said. "Now drop your drawers."
Roy flushed again, but then followed Ed's orders. As he bent over to untie his shoe, a faint prickling of the hairs on his neck warned him that something was not completely kosher. He glanced up to see Ed yanking a fur-covered finger away from his back. A quick glance over at Al showed him - nothing, again. A glance back at Ed showed the young man staring raptly at the embossed ceiling. Roy narrowed his eyes.
"What was that?"
"What was what, sir?" asked Ed pointedly while staring at Al. Al shrugged.
Roy growled slightly, but finished undressing. Soon he was left in nothing but his socks and shorts, and the collar and leash. Well that at least could go -- He reached up to unbuckle it, but it refused to come off. "Er… Fullmetal, would you mind, I can't quite seem to get this thing to…"
He leaned down to let Ed get a better look. The blond tugged and pulled, and then shrugged and said. "I think it's stuck. Why don't you just leave it on." Ed was blushing now.
Roy scowled. "I suppose. Al, please hurry. I left my coat at the check, I'm sure that will be sufficient material to finish the costume." Roy dropped into a chair, and tried not to shiver. He leaned his head on the palm of his hand, and let his splayed fingers cover his mouth.
Al nodded. "I'll be really quick. Back in a minute." Roy watched as the lighter, romanticized set of ornamental armor gracefully moved out of the room.
Ed clapped his hands and pressed them to the door. He then looked back over his shoulder in satisfaction. "There, no one is going to interrupt us."
"Interrupt us, are we actually doing something here?"
Ed settled himself into the matching chair and stared at Roy over the heaping plate. "No. Not really." He reached out and picked up a cookie.
Roy went back to staring at the door, thinking of how nice and solid it looked and how unlikely it was that Hakuro would have a battering ram, much less use one. His thoughts spiraled back to the looks on the General's face, how the man was making up humiliating rumors at this very moment. The worst part of it all was that the truth was still more embarrassing than the rumors.
Ed sighed. Roy turned and noticed the boy was still staring at him. More specifically, he was staring rather fixedly at Roy's chest. He raised an eyebrow. "See something you like?"
Ed jumped like Roy had shot him and turned almost magenta. "No. I mean, you look hot - I mean cold. Cold, is what I meant. Your - they are standing up. Because you are cold. They do that. I know." Ed grabbed another treat off his plate and shoved it in his mouth, in an apparent attempt to gag himself.
Oh, really. Roy sat up, his eyes narrowing, and a slow smile crossing his mouth. Is that a crush I spy?
Ed seemed to be fascinated with his plate but every so often those golden eyes would flick upward just long enough to focus back in on Roy's chest, then they'd quickly retreat down to his food again.
Roy bit his lip. On one hand, toying with his underling was not really a sporting thing to do, on the other hand, teasing underlings was a large part of the rewards of rank. Well, why not share the embarrassment. "Yeah, It's rather cold in here. Too bad there is no fireplace."
Ed nodded; most of the flush had left his face. Roy waited until Ed was looking at him to innocently sweep a finger across one of his own nipples. "Yep. They are standing out aren't they."
Ed's face darkened in the space of a second. Roy could almost feel the heat coming off his blush. "Argh, don't fondle yourself in front of me. That's gross, you letch."
"I'm a letch, am I. I wasn't the one to alchemize the latch. You wanted to see me naked in a dog collar. How kinky." Roy reached up and pulled on the spiked collar. "Tell me, Fullmetal, do you have a thing for leather? You seem to like it a lot."
"Shut UP!"
"Or is it the spikes? Nothing says danger like spikes." Roy tested one with his finger. It was quite blunt but he yanked his finger away anyway, and acted out a wince, and followed it up with a wink and a lick to his "hurt" finger.
Roy thought if Ed flushed harder he'd faint. Maybe I should back off, he considered.
He did not consider the possibility of Ed suddenly springing to his feet and jumping over the coffee table, his boot just clipping a cookie on the flight over, sending it off like a hockey puck across the room. The thought had not crossed his mind that Ed would actually pounce into his lap, automail knee striking dangerously close to his groin before sliding off his hip and sinking into the cushion. And he'd definitely not considered the idea that Ed would gather up the leash in his automail hand, close to where it attached to Roy's neck and yank him forward until he could feel the heat of Ed's breath on his face.
"Or maybe I just like seeing you on a leash, you dog."
Roy's eyes flashed and his grin widened. "You know what dogs do, don't you Fullmetal?"
"What?"
"Chase cats."
He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ed's. It was utterly an impulse, but apparently not one Ed felt like fighting, because though the kiss was meant to be light and playful, it quickly turned into something that was neither. Lips opened and Roy felt a clumsy, but forgivable tongue slide into his mouth. He countered it with smaller more controlled movements of his own. Roy really could feel Ed's flush now, feverishly hot against his face. His hands were in the boy's hair, curling the strands around his fingers, holding his head still and close.
"Ed? Colonel?"
They broke apart and stared at the door aghast. Ed dropped Roy's leash and leapt out of his lap. Roy straightened up and wiped his mouth.
Al dropped his chalk on the floor in front of them. "Well. Er, sir. I'm finished."
"Al… what you just saw… it was just --" Roy sputtered.
"My image of you has been completely restored, sir." Al tossed a softly furred outfit into Roy's hands. "Thanks to us Elric brothers, now you now have a costume and a date."
PAIRING: Roy x Ed
GENRE: Fluff/Humor
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 3800
A/N I wrote this for midnightbanshee for her Secret Santa. We all played guessing games to figure out who wrote what, and no one but those who already knew guessed mine was mine. Probably because when was the last time I wrote fluff? It's been a LOOOOOOOONG time.
And this is what santa brought for me: Punished!Roy -- my favorite!
The afternoon was as grim as Roy Mustang's spirits, but he didn't let it slow him down. In fact, he sped up. The sooner he faced his fate, the sooner it would be done with and he could begin strategizing to recoup his losses. Stoically, he stepped out of the car into the slushy drizzle and pulled his heavy greatcoat about him. He felt the ghost of his long past adolescence visit him in the form of a sickening self-consciousness, that turned his stomach into iron. Even the icy rain couldn't cool his cheeks.
He had brought this humiliation on himself. He'd had a full year to prepare for this eventuality, but every time a reminder had come up, he'd put it off.
His excuses were valid. There were rumors of war in Lior, rumors of insurrection in the Northern Hills, sabotage of the railways. There were a thousand pieces of paperwork that needed filling out. Research notes, periodicals, novels - a man had to stay educated. There were … plays that needed patronage, and restaurants that needed assessing. Women who needed to know that someone found them attractive. He had duties to perform. The Winter Solstice Masque simply wasn't a priority. He figured when the time came Hawkeye would think of something.
Hawkeye apparently thought that it wasn't her problem.
That left Roy a single day to find a costume and a date. He had failed miserably at both. The shame of not having the right thing to wear overpowered even Mustang's magnetism, and every single girl in his book had begged off. He wished he could use the same excuse, but sadly putting in an appearance at this affair was mandatory.
"Sir?" came a hesitant voice. "Will there be anything more?"
Roy quickly turned and gave his driver a curt nod. "Dismissed."
Around him the first of the partygoers were arriving - people who had spent months putting together a costume. Women wore generous swathes of brightly colored silk and crinoline, with hats specially made for the occasion with feathers from swans and peacocks. They had fairy wings hand sewn and dyed, and sequins glued artfully to their cheeks and foreheads. The men were not much plainer, dressed up as various animals or in the style of noblemen from previous centuries. There was a tradition of one-upmanship that brought even the stodgiest of generals to doff his plain blue uniform and put on silks that rivaled those of the Xingan Emperor.
Under his greatcoat, Roy was embarrassingly underdressed in an off the rack black turtleneck, and dress slacks. His entire "costume" consisted of a hastily alchemized headband with what he figured could pass for Doberman ears, and a spiked collar and leash, bought an hour earlier at the nearest pet store. Frankly he thought the latter two things were asking for trouble, but without them, he really didn't have a costume. And a half-assed attempt was still better than none at all. As silly as this whole fancy dress affair was, it was tradition and people would read far too much into his rebellion if he totally blew it off.
He turned the edges of his lapel up, and ducked his head down, as though that could hide the black, faux-fur tufted ears. Although he dragged his feet, hesitating to admire the one of the twin dragon sculptures that guarded the entryway inevitably the weight of expectations pushed him into the building proper, and he was forced to surrender his coat to the waiting checker.
Inside the place glittered. Cascading down from the high rafters were snowflakes the size of dishes, that twirled in the breeze from the door. A huge fireplace roared invitingly near a long table filled to near overflowing with rare and expensive treats. A row of comfortable chairs and couches lined one wall, seducing the footsore to pause and rest.
Roy quickly fled to the opposite side of the room and nosed himself into an unused corner. He pretended to admire a fantasyscape of faux snow and real pine trees smothered in tinsel and glittering ornaments. There was a faint but pervasive smell of rubber cement coming off the display that Roy welcomed, figuring it would help drive other people away.
An hour. Enough to let others see he'd indeed come. Then he could make his escape and drink himself stupid at the closest bar. He could do this.
"Mustang! You are unfashionably early this evening! And alone, what a surprise."
Roy pasted on a smile and turned to greet General Hakuro. "Good to see you General."
"Yes," Hakuro replied. Roy took in his costume with mild envy. He wasn't sure what Hakuro was supposed to be, but it involved a lot of flashy, expensive fabric. "Lovely turn out this year. I see you've decided to come as a … dog is it? Very appropriate." His lips chuckled indulgently, but his eyes spoke more scathingly.
He wouldn't thought Roy, half a moment before Hakuro reached out and grabbed the leash draping from Roy's spike-collared neck.
"Well this is a damn useful thing." The older man tugged gently on the strap, making Roy inevitably duck his head. "Maybe you should keep it on with your regular uniform. Keep you in line easier." He chuckled.
Roy's smile was becoming painful. "Thank goodness it's only for one night, General."
Hakuro dropped the leash. "Yes, of course. Now, Mustang -"
"Sir," interrupted Roy quickly, his eyes catching sight of something that looked like a lifeline. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I see one of my alchemists over there, and I really need to speak to him. It's vital."
"Well, don't let work monopolize you," Haraku chided. "I'll catch up with you later, and you can tell me the whole amusing story."
That brought Roy to a stop, mid step away. He turned on his heel. "Amusing story?"
"The disaster that lead you to show here like that. I simply must hear all about it, but go talk with your alchemist. Business before pleasure."
Oh dear God, thought Roy. This was going to be worse than he thought.
He turned back towards the door and scanned the quickly growing crowd, for that brief glimpse of armor he'd seen before. There it was - most definitely Alphonse Elric's head plume, and where Al was then…
A second look made Roy's stomach sink. The plume was Al's but instead of the heavy, spike filled metal, the armor attached was lighter and belonged from an entirely different historical period. Roy gave one last terrified glance back at Hakuro to see him standing, smiling indulgently at him, while chatting with his gaudily dressed wife. It appeared to Roy that they were laughing at him. Knowing Hakuro, he probably was. Dear God, he couldn't go back and admit he was mistaken.
But just as Roy was ready to die of embarrassment he heard a familiar, but muffled voice. "Jeez, Colonel, you are one to give me a hard time about this shindig. Doesn't look like you are taking it that seriously."
Roy turned and looked down. There was, thank goodness, was Edward, a half-eaten pastry in both hands. Roy vaguely remembered sternly lecturing the kid about the importance of attending parties sometime during the summer. He really hadn't expected the kid to take his admonitions to heart, but apparently he had. His costume was impressive.
It was, no question, a fine cat suit. The fur was amazing - soft, fine and short. Roy considered that it might actually be real. The chest and gloves were tufted white, while the rest was a shiny sleek black. Two artfully crafted ears poked up from Ed's loose hair with no trace of a headband to hold them on, And the cut was just perfect. Where many of the animal suited men looked like they were wearing frumpy fur pajamas, Ed's costume clung to his torso and legs like a dancer's leotard. The kid looked great in it.
Almost too great, actually. Roy bit back a compliment that could have easily taken as a come on.
"What. Cat got your tongue?" Fullmetal smirked.
Roy got a hold of himself and grabbed the kid's shoulders. "Fullmetal, the man I wanted to see!" he half shouted. "I need your report as soon as possible."
Ed stared at him, nonplussed. "You mean … now?"
"Yes, yes." Roy scanned the room for a quiet area where he could pull his underling aside. He spotted a nook made by the heavy drapes and a large sculpture of the cities founder. If he backed himself far enough into the corner, he could use Fullmetal's petite body to hide his and …
"It was really nothing, though…" said Ed, as Roy grabbed his upper arm. "The locals solved their problem before we even got there."
Roy halted. "I'm sure there's more than that."
"No," said Ed, firmly. "There isn't."
"You spent a week in Colton, what were you doing?"
Ed's cheeks colored a bit. "There was a library…"
Roy glanced back over at Hakuro. The man seemed to have a small gathering of people around them, and they were all turning to look in his direction. Roy recognized them as Hakuro's toadies. Several of them smiled and waved their hands, gesturing him to join them.
"Honestly, there's nothing to report. Really. Nothing at all. Even the train was on time." Ed followed his eyes over to the group. "And it looks like you are wanted elsewhere."
"Oh no," said Roy firmly, pulling Ed towards sanctuary. "That won't do. There must be something important you can tell me. Anything. Please, Fullmetal, I can't go talking to those people, give me an excuse."
Ed's eyes suddenly lit up. "Ah, I see. Are they going to tease you about your lame costume?"
Roy pleaded with his eyes.
Hakuro and the throng were approaching him, big shit-eating grins on their faces.
"I told you this party was just an excuse for grown men to act like kids," said Ed. "Okay, you owe me."
"Ah, Mustang, have you got it all straightened out now…" Hakuro said.
Ed turned and glowered at the General. "Not even close. Mustang, this can't wait, and I can't talk about it with all these people around either. For gods sake, screw propriety, we need to find a private place to iron this out tonight. Lives depend on it."
Ed sounded very convincing. Roy felt a wave of relief.
"Well, there are a few private meeting rooms down the hall," suggested Hakuro, with just the slightest disappointment in his voice. "Why don't you two go talk your problem out. I'll catch up with you later, Mustang."
They weren't even properly out of earshot before he head the first tittering jabs, "… I hear his date burned his costume after a fight. How embarrassing."
Roy grabbed Ed's shoulder and pushed him away as fast as he could, through the gathering throng to the back of the ballroom, where wide wooden stairs curved elegantly up to a mezzanine. The upstairs was much barer - a few pine boughs covered an antique credenza, and a wreath had been nailed to the wall at the end. Roy tested doors and found the first lead to a small empty sitting room. Good enough.
"As fun as it is hiding in a room with you," Ed said, "I need to tell Al, or he'll get worried. I'll be right back."
Roy turned around just in time to see the heavy paneled door bang shut. He found himself fighting a totally inappropriate sense of disappointment. I've been ditched. The reasonable side of him assured Roy that Ed had done the job assigned - got his Commanding Officer to safety, and there really was no further need for him to actually hang around to entertain him. The boy probably wanted to enjoy the party. Hell, Roy wanted to enjoy the party, and he would be if Hawkeye hadn't chosen this particular day to shirk on him.
Roy had worked himself up into a comfortable self-righteous anger when the door handle shook. A moment of sheer panic wiped all grousing out of his mind and he physically fought the temptation to hide behind one of the overstuffed chairs. Hakuro's come looking for me.
But the person to come inside was the suit of armor he'd seen earlier in the evening. "Hello, Colonel," piped up Al's distinctive voice.
"Al - you look different."
"Yeah," said Al. "It's a costume party. Ed designed it for me. Do you like it."
Of course, thought Roy. "It's quite nice looking. Are you planning on keeping it?"
"Oh no," Al demurred. "I mean it's nice to dress up, but I'm used to my old look. And it's more practical. Tougher."
"Ah I see."
"Did something happen to your costume, Sir?"
"Er…" Roy felt his ears burn. "There was a mix up. I did the best I could, but there just wasn't time. I do appreciate you boys giving me an excuse not to be social. These affairs are rather cut throat."
"Yeah. Really. I heard that you burned your costume in disgust after your date left you for another man. I take that didn't happen."
"As unlikely as it seems, Al, I just don't have a costume or a date for tonight. I never had." Roy covered over his face. "And yes, I know this blows your image of me."
"You know," said Al with what could only be termed a kind voice. "I can't do anything about the date, but I could probably make you something to wear that's … well… less minimal. If you wanted. I made Ed's costume."
"You could?" asked Roy, perking up. "Oh Al, I would be eternally grateful if you would." He could probably spin a story of his outfit being late from the tailors. That would quash the rumors before they spun too far out of control.
Al looked him over. "Hmmm… I think I need a bit more material."
The door banged open again. Ed juggled a plate heaped with food, a cup nearly overflowing with punch and somehow managed to close the door without dropping anything on the floor. "Damn Mustang, I had to tell Hakuro I was just getting us a snack. I don't know if that will hold him off for long. He seems to really want you for something." Ed put his plate on the coffee table and dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs. "Are you sure you should be blowing him off like this? He is a General."
Roy covered his face with his hand. "Oh I'm completely sure."
Al spoke up again, with a sheepish tone. "Sir, I have an idea, but… er… unless you want to walk the halls with me while I look for stuff I can turn into your costume, I'm going to kinda sorta need your clothes. JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES!" Al's arms were up as if warding off Roy's fury. "I swear, I will have something for you quickly."
"Don't worry," said Ed. "I'll baby sit him."
Roy was furiously debating. On one hand, he could redeem himself. On the other hand, if Hakuro barged through that door and found him in his underwear, he really would never live it down. Roy's mind followed down each avenue of possibility paying meticulous attention to the most painful details.
"--MUSTANG!" Ed shouted in his ear.
Roy let out a small shriek and clawed at his shirt, trying to pull his heart back into his chest.
"I can lock the door."
Roy nodded getting a hold of his composure. He pulled his shirt off. The collar and leash got caught in it and there was a bit of a struggle getting himself free again. He glanced quickly at Al whose armor was as expressionless as always. Ed on the other hand was hiding his mouth behind the back of a furry white paw, and Roy could hear just the faintest breathy huffing.
Roy shot Ed a dirty look as he handed Al the shirt. "I out rank you; you need to respect me," he reminded his underling.
Ed wiped his mouth. "Oh I totally respect you, sir," he said. "Now drop your drawers."
Roy flushed again, but then followed Ed's orders. As he bent over to untie his shoe, a faint prickling of the hairs on his neck warned him that something was not completely kosher. He glanced up to see Ed yanking a fur-covered finger away from his back. A quick glance over at Al showed him - nothing, again. A glance back at Ed showed the young man staring raptly at the embossed ceiling. Roy narrowed his eyes.
"What was that?"
"What was what, sir?" asked Ed pointedly while staring at Al. Al shrugged.
Roy growled slightly, but finished undressing. Soon he was left in nothing but his socks and shorts, and the collar and leash. Well that at least could go -- He reached up to unbuckle it, but it refused to come off. "Er… Fullmetal, would you mind, I can't quite seem to get this thing to…"
He leaned down to let Ed get a better look. The blond tugged and pulled, and then shrugged and said. "I think it's stuck. Why don't you just leave it on." Ed was blushing now.
Roy scowled. "I suppose. Al, please hurry. I left my coat at the check, I'm sure that will be sufficient material to finish the costume." Roy dropped into a chair, and tried not to shiver. He leaned his head on the palm of his hand, and let his splayed fingers cover his mouth.
Al nodded. "I'll be really quick. Back in a minute." Roy watched as the lighter, romanticized set of ornamental armor gracefully moved out of the room.
Ed clapped his hands and pressed them to the door. He then looked back over his shoulder in satisfaction. "There, no one is going to interrupt us."
"Interrupt us, are we actually doing something here?"
Ed settled himself into the matching chair and stared at Roy over the heaping plate. "No. Not really." He reached out and picked up a cookie.
Roy went back to staring at the door, thinking of how nice and solid it looked and how unlikely it was that Hakuro would have a battering ram, much less use one. His thoughts spiraled back to the looks on the General's face, how the man was making up humiliating rumors at this very moment. The worst part of it all was that the truth was still more embarrassing than the rumors.
Ed sighed. Roy turned and noticed the boy was still staring at him. More specifically, he was staring rather fixedly at Roy's chest. He raised an eyebrow. "See something you like?"
Ed jumped like Roy had shot him and turned almost magenta. "No. I mean, you look hot - I mean cold. Cold, is what I meant. Your - they are standing up. Because you are cold. They do that. I know." Ed grabbed another treat off his plate and shoved it in his mouth, in an apparent attempt to gag himself.
Oh, really. Roy sat up, his eyes narrowing, and a slow smile crossing his mouth. Is that a crush I spy?
Ed seemed to be fascinated with his plate but every so often those golden eyes would flick upward just long enough to focus back in on Roy's chest, then they'd quickly retreat down to his food again.
Roy bit his lip. On one hand, toying with his underling was not really a sporting thing to do, on the other hand, teasing underlings was a large part of the rewards of rank. Well, why not share the embarrassment. "Yeah, It's rather cold in here. Too bad there is no fireplace."
Ed nodded; most of the flush had left his face. Roy waited until Ed was looking at him to innocently sweep a finger across one of his own nipples. "Yep. They are standing out aren't they."
Ed's face darkened in the space of a second. Roy could almost feel the heat coming off his blush. "Argh, don't fondle yourself in front of me. That's gross, you letch."
"I'm a letch, am I. I wasn't the one to alchemize the latch. You wanted to see me naked in a dog collar. How kinky." Roy reached up and pulled on the spiked collar. "Tell me, Fullmetal, do you have a thing for leather? You seem to like it a lot."
"Shut UP!"
"Or is it the spikes? Nothing says danger like spikes." Roy tested one with his finger. It was quite blunt but he yanked his finger away anyway, and acted out a wince, and followed it up with a wink and a lick to his "hurt" finger.
Roy thought if Ed flushed harder he'd faint. Maybe I should back off, he considered.
He did not consider the possibility of Ed suddenly springing to his feet and jumping over the coffee table, his boot just clipping a cookie on the flight over, sending it off like a hockey puck across the room. The thought had not crossed his mind that Ed would actually pounce into his lap, automail knee striking dangerously close to his groin before sliding off his hip and sinking into the cushion. And he'd definitely not considered the idea that Ed would gather up the leash in his automail hand, close to where it attached to Roy's neck and yank him forward until he could feel the heat of Ed's breath on his face.
"Or maybe I just like seeing you on a leash, you dog."
Roy's eyes flashed and his grin widened. "You know what dogs do, don't you Fullmetal?"
"What?"
"Chase cats."
He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ed's. It was utterly an impulse, but apparently not one Ed felt like fighting, because though the kiss was meant to be light and playful, it quickly turned into something that was neither. Lips opened and Roy felt a clumsy, but forgivable tongue slide into his mouth. He countered it with smaller more controlled movements of his own. Roy really could feel Ed's flush now, feverishly hot against his face. His hands were in the boy's hair, curling the strands around his fingers, holding his head still and close.
"Ed? Colonel?"
They broke apart and stared at the door aghast. Ed dropped Roy's leash and leapt out of his lap. Roy straightened up and wiped his mouth.
Al dropped his chalk on the floor in front of them. "Well. Er, sir. I'm finished."
"Al… what you just saw… it was just --" Roy sputtered.
"My image of you has been completely restored, sir." Al tossed a softly furred outfit into Roy's hands. "Thanks to us Elric brothers, now you now have a costume and a date."