god is heavy

[velvet_child]

yesterday was my birthday
i had a good news and my new home-for-rent
it was ready for me

yesterday was my birthday
and i don't like birthday at all but
but i didn't recive any congratulation
any "happy birthday" excpet from my
flatmate

yesterday i was wondering why
my mother didn't call me
to say me: hello honey! happyr birthday

now i know why
yesterday was my birthday
and my brotherd had an accident
working
it seems he has lost a finger
now is in hospital.

for a second,
the moment in wich my mother call me
like 5 minute ago
and she says me:

"i have a thing to tell u. yesterday was ty birthday so i couldn't tell u but
your brother had an accident"

in that moment i thought my brother was gone.
and it was strange.
cause me and my brother are
very distant. well we sometimes hate ourselves truly

but for a moment i think he was dead and
everything changes.
so strange
now i'm no more happy
even i've been happy just for half a day

i suppose
i have a lot of bad luck
for me and
for my family

and i don't want to talk about it
but i'm thinking a lot
and
it
hurts

i cannot stop to think that
that accident could be worst
but
it doesn't help
the way of affection are strange
like
some stupid labyrinth