(no subject)
a guy in the marines just tried to recruit me. i want to know how the marines got my cell phone number. i feel all violated!
our conversation went something like this.
marines guy: is ariel available?
me: um...sure. this is she.
g: i'm colonel mustard and i'd like to inform you about all the great opportunities the marines can provide! have you ever considered joining the armed forces?
m: fuck no.
g: why not?
m: because you're fighting an unjust war and i'm sure as hell not going to die in it. in fact, i like jobs where i don't get shot at, period.
g: oh, right, right. i've heard that before, a lot of people feel that way. me, personally, i like the marines because of all the opportunities they provide and all the benefits they give to me and my family, like a great education. can i ask you a few questions?
m: sure.
g: what are you doing right now? i mean, what do you want to do with your life, to make a living?
m: i'm considering being a midwife.
g: oh yeah? what's that?
m: obviously you're greatly overrating the so called great education you're trying to sell me on.
g: no, seriously, what is it?
m: it means i'd deliver babies in women's homes. you know, instead of in the hospital.
g: no kidding? i didn't know that existed. i just had a kid.
m: congratulations.
g: thanks. you know, we might be able to help you out with training for something like that. there are lots of opportunities to learn skills in the medical field..
m: i think you misheard me. i said i wanted to deliver kids, not shoot them.
g: ...right, right. a lot of people feel that way, you know? but hey, you have to consider all the benefits. and even though you disagree with the war, you still respect the men and women in the armed forces, right?
m: no.
g: um...alright, well thanks for your time. you have a really great night, and god bless you and your family.
m: i don't believe in god.
g: ...what?
m: i don't believe in god, i'm an atheist.
g: ...
oh. okay, you have a good night then.
*CLICK*
our conversation went something like this.
marines guy: is ariel available?
me: um...sure. this is she.
g: i'm colonel mustard and i'd like to inform you about all the great opportunities the marines can provide! have you ever considered joining the armed forces?
m: fuck no.
g: why not?
m: because you're fighting an unjust war and i'm sure as hell not going to die in it. in fact, i like jobs where i don't get shot at, period.
g: oh, right, right. i've heard that before, a lot of people feel that way. me, personally, i like the marines because of all the opportunities they provide and all the benefits they give to me and my family, like a great education. can i ask you a few questions?
m: sure.
g: what are you doing right now? i mean, what do you want to do with your life, to make a living?
m: i'm considering being a midwife.
g: oh yeah? what's that?
m: obviously you're greatly overrating the so called great education you're trying to sell me on.
g: no, seriously, what is it?
m: it means i'd deliver babies in women's homes. you know, instead of in the hospital.
g: no kidding? i didn't know that existed. i just had a kid.
m: congratulations.
g: thanks. you know, we might be able to help you out with training for something like that. there are lots of opportunities to learn skills in the medical field..
m: i think you misheard me. i said i wanted to deliver kids, not shoot them.
g: ...right, right. a lot of people feel that way, you know? but hey, you have to consider all the benefits. and even though you disagree with the war, you still respect the men and women in the armed forces, right?
m: no.
g: um...alright, well thanks for your time. you have a really great night, and god bless you and your family.
m: i don't believe in god.
g: ...what?
m: i don't believe in god, i'm an atheist.
g: ...
oh. okay, you have a good night then.
*CLICK*