Retail Therapy // Part Three
“Maybe we should just have sex instead,” Dan suggested hopefully.
“We can’t have sex. We still do not have a BED,” Evan spat crabbily, still glaring at the instructions.
Dan sighed sadly and stared at the living room carpet as a tense silence filled the room. After a few moments he spoke up hesitantly.
“We could have sex in the shower. Or on the couch, or even-” he stopped when he noticed Evan glaring at him “Okay, okay. Just a thought.”
He sighed and gave his boyfriend an exasperated look. “Babe, maybe if you let me look at the instructions...”
“I don’t NEED you to look at the instructions,” Evan grumbled “I can read just fine.”
Dan sighed yet again and laid back on the floor of their bedroom. “I love this place.” He decided that rather than argue with Evan he’d just change the subject to the much happier topic of their new apartment.
“I know.”
“I love you.”
A faint smile flickered over Evan’s face and Dan gasped dramatically.
“Was that... was that a kirkensmile?”
“Shut up,” Evan said childishly, crossing his arms “It was not.”
“I’m pretty sure it was.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re an ass.”
“I’m pretty sure you love my ass.”
Evan smiled again, a slight blush on his cheeks, before burying his face in the instructions again.
“Oh, I see!” he exclaimed happily “I think I’ve got it!”
“Really? Let me see.”
Evan pointed to the diagram before holding up some kind of brackety looking thing.
“I’m pretty sure that’s this bit and then it all just goes together like that.”
Dan nodded thoughtfully. “I think you’re right.”
“I love IKEA,” Evan said “But I think that their instructions are going to send me insane.”
“Either that or they’ll ruin our relationship.”
Evan rolled his eyes before standing up and picking up an allen key.
“Shut up and help me with this.”
It took another hour, but eventually they were standing in front of their brand new bed.
“It’s a little big for the room,” Dan said as they stood back admiring their handiwork.
“Oh, do not even say that,” Evan warned him “I told you we should’ve stuck with the queen.”
“I like the extra room though.”
“We only sleep in like, a third of the bed anyway,” Evan pointed out.
“When we’re not snuggling I like to sprawl,” Dan justified.
“When are we not snuggling though?”
“Now. And I feel like we should change that.”
Evan smiled. “Help me make the bed first.”
They’d gotten new bedsheets and a quilt cover, too. It was a nice deep purple colour which had caused Dan to ask “Could you be anymore flamingly homosexual?” when Evan picked it out.
He totally liked it though. Evan could always tell what he was really thinking.
When the bed was dressed, Evan turned to his boyfriend.
“I told you the colour would be perfect for this room,” he said smugly.
“Shhh,” Dan said, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist and gently steering him towards the bed “Let’s christen it.”
He kissed Evan passionately, pushing him down onto the bed as he did so and straddled his hips, earning a low groan and a lip bite from his boyfriend.
Dan shifted his weight slightly, trying to find a comfortable angle to work with.
“This new bed is going to take some breaking in,” he said thoughtfully “What do you say we get started?”
Evan grinned, but before he could add anything they were interrupted by a loud crack accompanied by a hard thud as one of the legs of the bed collapsed.
“Uh... what was that you said about breaking it in?”
Part Four