(no subject)
You know, it's kind of funny in a way. I have gone to such great lengths to protect K. I've kept something from him for years. Something that could...well...I'm not sure exactly what it would do to him. Possibly sadden him, devastate him, freak him out, definately piss him off. The fact that I never told him would make him so angry he'd never speak to me again...but when you know something that will crush someone you care about how CAN you tell them?
I just find it sort of ironic in a way that after everything, after doing this and protecting him, if I told him that'd be it. He'd want nothing to do with me. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. The pain I had to go through, all alone. I never told a soul. It's the ONE secret of mine that I never confided to anybody. It's been in my head a lot, scratching to be let out. It's been in my heart. Old feelings resurfacing. So much time has passed and the wounds are still so fresh.
I just find it sort of ironic in a way that after everything, after doing this and protecting him, if I told him that'd be it. He'd want nothing to do with me. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. The pain I had to go through, all alone. I never told a soul. It's the ONE secret of mine that I never confided to anybody. It's been in my head a lot, scratching to be let out. It's been in my heart. Old feelings resurfacing. So much time has passed and the wounds are still so fresh.