lots to think about
yesterday i went to a funeral for one of my dad's relatives. lately i have been feeling weird about that kind of stuff. i was pretty uncomfortable being there. it kind of made me worry. it brought back feelings of the past. it really just made me sad. i dont know how to go into further detail with that. i just miss my dad now and i'm just afraid.
i had plans with eric and jessica last night. i went over there and we just hung out for a while. i got to see eric's new bedroom because he finished it and it was pretty cool. it was kind of late when i got home so i just feel asleep right away. a result that has consequences....
i know rob is really mad at me. i'm mad too. i really don't know what to do. but from the looks of it i don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore. i don't know how i could have met him anywhere last night. i couldn't drive to mt. pleasant that late. my mom especially didnt want me driving like that and it was raining. we had a good talk on the phone or at least i thought we talked about stuff that mattered. maybe i'm wrong. *sigh* i don't know what to do anymore. if i had tried to call before i fell asleep, which wasn't that much time, my phone would have died cuz it's mean like that. apparently i'm cold and distant. i just have things going on, thinking about stuff. contrary to his belief i have been giving these things a lot of thought. it isnt that i didnt think about it or him at all. i did, but i don't know what to say. i don't know what to do even. so why should i have all the answers? and then i can either agree or disagree with him and no matter what i do it seems that what i say isn't the right thing to say. i do a lot of stuff on my own and i guess that's a problem. but we didnt talk last night so i can only guess what is happening right now. why does it have to be an ultimatum?
i had plans with eric and jessica last night. i went over there and we just hung out for a while. i got to see eric's new bedroom because he finished it and it was pretty cool. it was kind of late when i got home so i just feel asleep right away. a result that has consequences....
i know rob is really mad at me. i'm mad too. i really don't know what to do. but from the looks of it i don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore. i don't know how i could have met him anywhere last night. i couldn't drive to mt. pleasant that late. my mom especially didnt want me driving like that and it was raining. we had a good talk on the phone or at least i thought we talked about stuff that mattered. maybe i'm wrong. *sigh* i don't know what to do anymore. if i had tried to call before i fell asleep, which wasn't that much time, my phone would have died cuz it's mean like that. apparently i'm cold and distant. i just have things going on, thinking about stuff. contrary to his belief i have been giving these things a lot of thought. it isnt that i didnt think about it or him at all. i did, but i don't know what to say. i don't know what to do even. so why should i have all the answers? and then i can either agree or disagree with him and no matter what i do it seems that what i say isn't the right thing to say. i do a lot of stuff on my own and i guess that's a problem. but we didnt talk last night so i can only guess what is happening right now. why does it have to be an ultimatum?