This is a test of the emergency rant system.
I'll try to keep the gory details to a minimum, but this is about my trip to the doctor
... be warned.
About two weeks ago I caught an unfriendly stomach nasty that took me down for a day or so. I only lost my cookies once, so I counted myself lucky. Nausea means you don't eat, and not eating won't hurt me a bit so that isn't terrible either.
But, I just didn't seem to pull out of it. So, when two weeks have passed and I still don't have an appetite, and when I do eat I have Montezuma doing a mosh pit in my guts, xergh insists that I go to the doctor.
My doctor is an old fashioned country doctor. It's cool, because he will not prescribe something unless you really need it, and he is matter of fact about colds and minor maladies.
So I go in, expecting him to tell me that "yes, shit happens. Sometimes it happens badly, especially if you have Montezuma dancing in your small intestine. Eat yogurt. Drink plenty of fluids. Be happy. Montezuma will eventually move out."
Umm. NO. He says that Montezuma is more stubborn than that and wants to give me antibiotics... and even better ----WARNING TMI FOLLOWS MOVE DOWN TO THE ***** BELOW IF YOU WISH TO SHELTER YOUR INNOCENT MIND:
well, since you're still reading. He wanted me to do a stool sample. !?! wtf? This was an entirely new humiliation I've never before had the privelege to experience and I tell you, one I never hope to repeat. So I poo in the cup (in the privacy of my own bathroom, at least--of course, with xergh standing outside of the bathroom door making crude comments) then I take that up to the lab (which was another embarassing experience I would rather have skipped , Me:"umm, yeah, I just need to drop something off) and then
***** safer reading follows:
I can start taking my antibiotics.
This is supposed to evict Montezuma... and all the other bacteria, good and bad, from my gut. Eat yogurt. (hey, I at least had that part right) I should be back to normal soon.
oooh? The directions say:
Do not eat 3 hours prior to or after taking this antibiotic. Do not lay down 30 minutes after taking this antibiotic. This antibiotic may cause nausea in some individuals.
So, I spent an hour after taking the damn thing throwing my socks up. After I upchuck, I usually want nothing more than to lie down and curl up into a ball of misery. Not on my agenda. So here I am. Looking for distraction.
I can't even focus enough to read porn.
Damn.
This has been a test of the emergency rant system. Had this been a real rant, I would've had something more to say. As it is, you are free to return to your regularly scheduled reading with an unwillingly enlightened mind.
bah
... be warned.
About two weeks ago I caught an unfriendly stomach nasty that took me down for a day or so. I only lost my cookies once, so I counted myself lucky. Nausea means you don't eat, and not eating won't hurt me a bit so that isn't terrible either.
But, I just didn't seem to pull out of it. So, when two weeks have passed and I still don't have an appetite, and when I do eat I have Montezuma doing a mosh pit in my guts, xergh insists that I go to the doctor.
My doctor is an old fashioned country doctor. It's cool, because he will not prescribe something unless you really need it, and he is matter of fact about colds and minor maladies.
So I go in, expecting him to tell me that "yes, shit happens. Sometimes it happens badly, especially if you have Montezuma dancing in your small intestine. Eat yogurt. Drink plenty of fluids. Be happy. Montezuma will eventually move out."
Umm. NO. He says that Montezuma is more stubborn than that and wants to give me antibiotics... and even better ----WARNING TMI FOLLOWS MOVE DOWN TO THE ***** BELOW IF YOU WISH TO SHELTER YOUR INNOCENT MIND:
well, since you're still reading. He wanted me to do a stool sample. !?! wtf? This was an entirely new humiliation I've never before had the privelege to experience and I tell you, one I never hope to repeat. So I poo in the cup (in the privacy of my own bathroom, at least--of course, with xergh standing outside of the bathroom door making crude comments) then I take that up to the lab (which was another embarassing experience I would rather have skipped , Me:"umm, yeah, I just need to drop something off) and then
***** safer reading follows:
I can start taking my antibiotics.
This is supposed to evict Montezuma... and all the other bacteria, good and bad, from my gut. Eat yogurt. (hey, I at least had that part right) I should be back to normal soon.
oooh? The directions say:
Do not eat 3 hours prior to or after taking this antibiotic. Do not lay down 30 minutes after taking this antibiotic. This antibiotic may cause nausea in some individuals.
So, I spent an hour after taking the damn thing throwing my socks up. After I upchuck, I usually want nothing more than to lie down and curl up into a ball of misery. Not on my agenda. So here I am. Looking for distraction.
I can't even focus enough to read porn.
Damn.
This has been a test of the emergency rant system. Had this been a real rant, I would've had something more to say. As it is, you are free to return to your regularly scheduled reading with an unwillingly enlightened mind.
bah