(no subject)
Why did I stop? I don't remember.
On the last day of my new work week I wake up to cooler skies than the past few days, my throat sore, eyes fuzzy. It's been a battle this week, mostly of patience. I am impatient with myself mostly. I am impatient with time.
Last night, for very little reason other than entertainment, I started to look up photos on flickr under "bike messenger" or "bikes". Browsing the photos I was surprised how many were of my co-workers from Seattle, how many of them I recognized, but mostly I was surprised by how moved I was by looking at the photos. My personal relationship with being a bike messenger was volatile at best- something that I felt utterly compelled to do, almost without reason, yet also something that drove me somewhat mad, broke my physical form completely.
These days, having done a little messenger work but mostly working at a climbing/mountaineering shop I have started to feel the effects of a less active lifestyle. If there's anything to be said for self discovery then I guess I should just admit how much of a different person I am having conditioned by body to believe it needs eleven hours on the bike to feel normal.
Messengering brings out the saturated version of everything- can't quite be that happy, can't quite be that sad anywhere else.
Everything has to change though and it does. I found a place to live.
On the last day of my new work week I wake up to cooler skies than the past few days, my throat sore, eyes fuzzy. It's been a battle this week, mostly of patience. I am impatient with myself mostly. I am impatient with time.
Last night, for very little reason other than entertainment, I started to look up photos on flickr under "bike messenger" or "bikes". Browsing the photos I was surprised how many were of my co-workers from Seattle, how many of them I recognized, but mostly I was surprised by how moved I was by looking at the photos. My personal relationship with being a bike messenger was volatile at best- something that I felt utterly compelled to do, almost without reason, yet also something that drove me somewhat mad, broke my physical form completely.
These days, having done a little messenger work but mostly working at a climbing/mountaineering shop I have started to feel the effects of a less active lifestyle. If there's anything to be said for self discovery then I guess I should just admit how much of a different person I am having conditioned by body to believe it needs eleven hours on the bike to feel normal.
Messengering brings out the saturated version of everything- can't quite be that happy, can't quite be that sad anywhere else.
Everything has to change though and it does. I found a place to live.