McShep review of 5x16 Brain Storm
Haven't done these in a while because I think a part of me has been waiting for this episode. I have some thoughts on this season in general that I do want to put down eventually (because I actually made illustrations), but maybe I'll just wait until after the show had ended. But without further ado, here are my thoughts on the latest episode:
5x16 Brain Storm
Strangely enough I didn't hate this episode. I didn't hate the McKeller. Because I just don't buy it.
Since the promo pics gave a pretty good hint at what was coming I skimmed over the episode reactions and from a few I got the impression that they actually built up their relationship and showed us that they were in love instead of just telling us.
Well, I didn't see any of it.
Honestly. This is what I saw:
1) Rodney asks Keller out, so that he can look good in front of his colleagues. I'm not saying he doesn't want to actually date her, because obviously he does, but when Jennifer said "You don't have to make up that stuff to ask me out", I thought, "Jennifer, he is not making it up." Because I do believe that was his main consideration. It's been months since the Shrine episode and the talk about not giving up on her with Ronon. And yet, instead of asking her out even once, he's been playing racing cars with John in his spare time.
2) During the whole date, I never saw a moment where he actually behaved like it was a date (apart from the end in the plane, when she offered to have sex). I mean we all know that Rodney's ego is a pretty big force, but where were the flirty looks or gratuitous touching. He offered her his jacket about 5 scenes after I first thought of doing it and it was an entirely practical move. Hell, he's supposed to be in love with her for a year or so. Shouldn't he be all over her? The romance aspect of this "date" was basically Rodney telling the others "She's taken," which I found a bit disturbing, because it just reinforces that he doesn't love Jennifer so much as the idea of what she represents (his smart, beautiful wife).
3) What I saw was friendship: I do believe that Rodney loves Jennifer. In a friendship way, like he loves Teyla or Ronon or Sam or Elizabeth. There is also a certain amount of attraction. But I just don't see the passion that he displays when he's jealous of one of John's conquests or that he showed in "The Shrine" when he was angry about John not wanting to say goodbye.
4) Jennifer telling Rodney to be humble was meh, but thankfully they addressed that in the end when he said he wasn't and she'd just have to deal with that. But I have to say, when she smacked him down like a child and told him "We talked about that" and his head dropped, that made me cringe. That was so condescending (or maybe the word I'm looking for is patronizing). I didn't mind her telling the scientists to get their act together (although it reeked of "Let's make Keller look great", but hey, Gero admitted she's his new favorite), but doing that to Rodney just really rubbed me terribly wrong. We've seen John and Rodney bitch like a married couple and he even literally smacks Rodney, but at least there Rodney doesn't just crumble into himself.
5) Even when she told him she loved him and in the very end, I just don't believe that these two people are madly in love. I actually don't believe it for Keller either. Again, for me personally it is problematic that they introduced this relationship most forcefully in "The Shrine". The way she kept rewatching Rodney's confession just gives it a hint of Jennifer only loving him because he's a great guy and so adorable loving her. Would she be in love with him if he'd been dating John for the last couple of years? I honestly don't think so.
6) Which brings us to John. I rewatched his little scene and at first glance it's surprisingly lacking in jealousy, but then again, a) he wouldn't want to advertise it and b) he is frowning and there is this the moment of hesitation before he says "hmm" and c) I do believe that in his heart John thinks he doesn't have a chance with Rodney. I should also say that I understand John's reasoning for not going. I can see him telling himself "John, the only reason to go is be with Rodney. That's pathetic. Do what you'd do if it were just a friend."
7) Rodney considering going back to Earth: I wonder if this was supposed to be a cliffhangery thing that they might have done to scare the audience (and David ;). In any case it showed me very clearly that Rodney is really unaware of his feelings for John. And I'm not talking about romance here, because that he's blind to that (or burying it for one reason or another) is a given for me. I'm talking about his friendship with John the depth of which was illustrated beautifully in "The Shrine". Keller tells Rodney he won't leave because he loves his job. But he could do interesting stuff on Earth. I do believe he likes the challenges of missions and Ancient tech, but proving to the world that you are smarter than everyone else could also be worthwhile for him (at least for a while). But if he went back, he'd lose his friends, his family and I don't think that was in even a consideration in his thinking.
My impression of Rodney is that he didn't really have a lot of friends before he came to Atlantis. And I cannot believe that he ever had someone like John. It's very painful for me to see him undervalue his friendship with John (Sunday, grrrr) because it's become such a big part of Rodney and he doesn't seem to know it (at least not fully). I could see him return to Earth (with Jennifer or not) and living on in something that he pretends is perfect bliss with this hole in his chest that he ignores because intellectually there is no reason for him to feel that way, except that there really is, only Rodney won't be able to see it and thus he won't be able to fix it. And that just saddens me :(
Why didn't I hate this episode?
Maybe it's because of all the fic that I wrote about Rodney/Keller in which he still ends up with John. Maybe it's because in all/most of those fics, my theory is that Rodney isn't really in love with Keller, but with the idea of her as the perfect wife, and projects this idea onto her because he's completely blind to his feelings for John. And frankly, this episode just feeds that theory.
Mostly though I think it's because John doesn't know it yet. I bet he's preparing himself for it, trying to cheer up Ronon at the same time, because that's what friends do. But it'll be different to actually see them together. I wonder if they'll ever show us a glimpse of that. I wonder how they'll write it, how Joe will play it. For all the subtext, I don't think Joe consciously plays John as in love with Rodney. I think it's more that he loves to show the depth under John's laid back hero surface, and the writers give the most opportunities for that when they write John with Rodney.
I want to end with some thoughts that I had before watching the episode, when I expected to see Rodney genuinely in love with Keller. The McKeller this season has been grating on me for a number of reasons. One problem is that there is actually a certain amount of plausibility in Rodney plain and simple being straight. He might love John very much, but just as a friend (as cupidsbow explains so plausibly here that it hurts me to imagine because it would be so tragic). And there was this feeling in my head that if Rodney can't see what he has in John and doesn't want him, then screw him, he doesn't deserve John! I'm not the kind of person to jump ship, but I do find there is an ever-growing imbalance in my feelings for Rodney and John. I want John to be happy so badly. And if Rodney is unwilling to be with him, I could just make John happy with someone else, right?
I tried to think of a John/Ronon scenario. Ronon does have a hero worship thing going for John and John obviously likes him, so that could work, right? But the thing is, when I tried to imagine it, tried to have John and Ronon get closer and actually be together (and I'll be honest here, I couldn't make myself imagine it, it was more "let's assume it happened") and tell their friends, there is no way in which I could see that happening and Rodney not going completely ballistic. I just can't. He'd get this look and feel betrayed. And maybe his brain would tell him that he has no fucking right at all to want to keep his friends from being together, but he'd be resentful and not happy for them. There is no doubt in my mind about that. And the only way that this makes sense is that Rodney is either a totally selfish asshole whose ego trumps his consideration of his friends' happiness or just in love with John after all.
And this just frustrates me again, because it just means that John is completely unnecessarily going through all this pain (which I have to write about because I love him so damn much).
Now that the episode aired and just reinforces my believe that Rodney is just plain clueless about his own feelings, I feel relieved. There are still four episodes to go and I would hope that the writers have enough sense not to continue to push Rodney/Keller to the forefront (honestly, this is Stargate not a soap opera!), so there is hope that the feeling I have now, that Rodney and Jennifer are just friends that are misguided about feeling more because of circumstances, can carry through to the end of the show. And that would mean hope because Rodney has come around with Katie just in time. He can hold onto his blindness for long, but in the end he had enough awareness of his real feelings to take a time-out to reflect. I'm not sure he really did that, as evidenced by his surprise that he and Katie had broken up and now the whole Keller thing, but eventually he'll realize the truth. I just have to believe that.
5x16 Brain Storm
Strangely enough I didn't hate this episode. I didn't hate the McKeller. Because I just don't buy it.
Since the promo pics gave a pretty good hint at what was coming I skimmed over the episode reactions and from a few I got the impression that they actually built up their relationship and showed us that they were in love instead of just telling us.
Well, I didn't see any of it.
Honestly. This is what I saw:
1) Rodney asks Keller out, so that he can look good in front of his colleagues. I'm not saying he doesn't want to actually date her, because obviously he does, but when Jennifer said "You don't have to make up that stuff to ask me out", I thought, "Jennifer, he is not making it up." Because I do believe that was his main consideration. It's been months since the Shrine episode and the talk about not giving up on her with Ronon. And yet, instead of asking her out even once, he's been playing racing cars with John in his spare time.
2) During the whole date, I never saw a moment where he actually behaved like it was a date (apart from the end in the plane, when she offered to have sex). I mean we all know that Rodney's ego is a pretty big force, but where were the flirty looks or gratuitous touching. He offered her his jacket about 5 scenes after I first thought of doing it and it was an entirely practical move. Hell, he's supposed to be in love with her for a year or so. Shouldn't he be all over her? The romance aspect of this "date" was basically Rodney telling the others "She's taken," which I found a bit disturbing, because it just reinforces that he doesn't love Jennifer so much as the idea of what she represents (his smart, beautiful wife).
3) What I saw was friendship: I do believe that Rodney loves Jennifer. In a friendship way, like he loves Teyla or Ronon or Sam or Elizabeth. There is also a certain amount of attraction. But I just don't see the passion that he displays when he's jealous of one of John's conquests or that he showed in "The Shrine" when he was angry about John not wanting to say goodbye.
4) Jennifer telling Rodney to be humble was meh, but thankfully they addressed that in the end when he said he wasn't and she'd just have to deal with that. But I have to say, when she smacked him down like a child and told him "We talked about that" and his head dropped, that made me cringe. That was so condescending (or maybe the word I'm looking for is patronizing). I didn't mind her telling the scientists to get their act together (although it reeked of "Let's make Keller look great", but hey, Gero admitted she's his new favorite), but doing that to Rodney just really rubbed me terribly wrong. We've seen John and Rodney bitch like a married couple and he even literally smacks Rodney, but at least there Rodney doesn't just crumble into himself.
5) Even when she told him she loved him and in the very end, I just don't believe that these two people are madly in love. I actually don't believe it for Keller either. Again, for me personally it is problematic that they introduced this relationship most forcefully in "The Shrine". The way she kept rewatching Rodney's confession just gives it a hint of Jennifer only loving him because he's a great guy and so adorable loving her. Would she be in love with him if he'd been dating John for the last couple of years? I honestly don't think so.
6) Which brings us to John. I rewatched his little scene and at first glance it's surprisingly lacking in jealousy, but then again, a) he wouldn't want to advertise it and b) he is frowning and there is this the moment of hesitation before he says "hmm" and c) I do believe that in his heart John thinks he doesn't have a chance with Rodney. I should also say that I understand John's reasoning for not going. I can see him telling himself "John, the only reason to go is be with Rodney. That's pathetic. Do what you'd do if it were just a friend."
7) Rodney considering going back to Earth: I wonder if this was supposed to be a cliffhangery thing that they might have done to scare the audience (and David ;). In any case it showed me very clearly that Rodney is really unaware of his feelings for John. And I'm not talking about romance here, because that he's blind to that (or burying it for one reason or another) is a given for me. I'm talking about his friendship with John the depth of which was illustrated beautifully in "The Shrine". Keller tells Rodney he won't leave because he loves his job. But he could do interesting stuff on Earth. I do believe he likes the challenges of missions and Ancient tech, but proving to the world that you are smarter than everyone else could also be worthwhile for him (at least for a while). But if he went back, he'd lose his friends, his family and I don't think that was in even a consideration in his thinking.
My impression of Rodney is that he didn't really have a lot of friends before he came to Atlantis. And I cannot believe that he ever had someone like John. It's very painful for me to see him undervalue his friendship with John (Sunday, grrrr) because it's become such a big part of Rodney and he doesn't seem to know it (at least not fully). I could see him return to Earth (with Jennifer or not) and living on in something that he pretends is perfect bliss with this hole in his chest that he ignores because intellectually there is no reason for him to feel that way, except that there really is, only Rodney won't be able to see it and thus he won't be able to fix it. And that just saddens me :(
Why didn't I hate this episode?
Maybe it's because of all the fic that I wrote about Rodney/Keller in which he still ends up with John. Maybe it's because in all/most of those fics, my theory is that Rodney isn't really in love with Keller, but with the idea of her as the perfect wife, and projects this idea onto her because he's completely blind to his feelings for John. And frankly, this episode just feeds that theory.
Mostly though I think it's because John doesn't know it yet. I bet he's preparing himself for it, trying to cheer up Ronon at the same time, because that's what friends do. But it'll be different to actually see them together. I wonder if they'll ever show us a glimpse of that. I wonder how they'll write it, how Joe will play it. For all the subtext, I don't think Joe consciously plays John as in love with Rodney. I think it's more that he loves to show the depth under John's laid back hero surface, and the writers give the most opportunities for that when they write John with Rodney.
I want to end with some thoughts that I had before watching the episode, when I expected to see Rodney genuinely in love with Keller. The McKeller this season has been grating on me for a number of reasons. One problem is that there is actually a certain amount of plausibility in Rodney plain and simple being straight. He might love John very much, but just as a friend (as cupidsbow explains so plausibly here that it hurts me to imagine because it would be so tragic). And there was this feeling in my head that if Rodney can't see what he has in John and doesn't want him, then screw him, he doesn't deserve John! I'm not the kind of person to jump ship, but I do find there is an ever-growing imbalance in my feelings for Rodney and John. I want John to be happy so badly. And if Rodney is unwilling to be with him, I could just make John happy with someone else, right?
I tried to think of a John/Ronon scenario. Ronon does have a hero worship thing going for John and John obviously likes him, so that could work, right? But the thing is, when I tried to imagine it, tried to have John and Ronon get closer and actually be together (and I'll be honest here, I couldn't make myself imagine it, it was more "let's assume it happened") and tell their friends, there is no way in which I could see that happening and Rodney not going completely ballistic. I just can't. He'd get this look and feel betrayed. And maybe his brain would tell him that he has no fucking right at all to want to keep his friends from being together, but he'd be resentful and not happy for them. There is no doubt in my mind about that. And the only way that this makes sense is that Rodney is either a totally selfish asshole whose ego trumps his consideration of his friends' happiness or just in love with John after all.
And this just frustrates me again, because it just means that John is completely unnecessarily going through all this pain (which I have to write about because I love him so damn much).
Now that the episode aired and just reinforces my believe that Rodney is just plain clueless about his own feelings, I feel relieved. There are still four episodes to go and I would hope that the writers have enough sense not to continue to push Rodney/Keller to the forefront (honestly, this is Stargate not a soap opera!), so there is hope that the feeling I have now, that Rodney and Jennifer are just friends that are misguided about feeling more because of circumstances, can carry through to the end of the show. And that would mean hope because Rodney has come around with Katie just in time. He can hold onto his blindness for long, but in the end he had enough awareness of his real feelings to take a time-out to reflect. I'm not sure he really did that, as evidenced by his surprise that he and Katie had broken up and now the whole Keller thing, but eventually he'll realize the truth. I just have to believe that.