(no subject)
How do you forget what you already know? Like a stain that survives and claims its place, forever staying unwelcome, or the gravity that keeps limits and restrictions on our desires, always alerting us that some things are set in stone. You never leave. You're every breath i take, every decision i choose, every truth i search for you. Everything i want. Everything i'm not. Because i'm not, i'm fractional, divided, unfinished, without the missing pieces that define me. i know how to keep my distance and you know how to close the space. Even in my bravest attempts to lose the shadow that's confined to me, you find me. There's no escaping it.. Its impossible, unavoidable. The bars of this cage i'm bound to are beginning to freeze in time. i don't feel the chill of the cold wind blow on my skin, the warmth of the sun comfort the shivers through my veins, or the beauty of the rain that provides life to the earth, demonstrating that there are two ways a pair of eyes can see things. But i'm torn in two. And i see a world through eyes that belong to someone else, that fix you in the center of everything. Cut the chains that hold me to you. Let me go. It was an unfair deal we were sold in. Because nothing seems to matter when you're not here... And for so long you haven't been here. What about all we were? All we could be? i'm tired of questions that never got answers. It makes no sense to tell you that i need you, so i save the air and let the words tangle in my throat. i can't explain how much it hurts with each breath i take. You don't know what its like to still be inlove with a memory. So please don't tell me that you love me, because it could kill me... But i can make myself glow to confirm that the days light still moves me, or rise to prove that pain doesn't touch me, or smile to verify that happiness recognizes me... But i can collapse like you wouldn't believe when emptiness devours me after the sun sets, as my hand reaches out to my left, where you used to lay.. Everyday i live through... But not without missing you. God, let the never closing puncture in my heart and the agony that swallows every vision of us remind me of one thing.. If you wanted to be here, you'd be here. There's nothing else in between. So don't tell me that you don't love me. i know it could kill me. But i want it too