Sigh of possible relief
The last time I tried to post there was a storm and for some reason I was unable to pull up the autosave draft. Not a whole lot of news though, Keith has a slight head cold - a residual effect from the vaccinations he had to have for school. I went to the doctor today and had an oral endoscopy done...they said things were wrong with my stomach, and they would call me with the results in five to seven days. At least I will finally know something, and until then I am taking Nexium and throat mist; lucky me. The Nexium seems to help, the left side of my abdomen still hurts, but not as bad as it was previous to today. I had a ton of homework, but managed to get it done before going to the doctor today. I just finished up the last bit after a four hour nap - amazing what anaesthetic will do to you. My gramma is at the apartment with me and Keith in case I should need anything she can go get it while Keith stays here and takes care of me. Honestly I am fine, except for the grogginess and dizziness. The doctor said they would do some tests for infections and diseases...fun. I had to miss work today, while part of me is glad that I did not go - I am in no condition to work even right now - another part of me that worries about finances is nagging about the loss of income that will accompany my sick leave. Dammit all. Keith did say something very poignant last night that put it all into perspective, "Would you rather be poor and happy or worrying about debt all of the time and be miserable?" Good question, and I do want to be happy; my only qualm is knowing that we will have enough to make it on, I long for the day we can be fully self-sufficient. Until that day comes, I need to quit worrying and stressing about money issues, though it does help to vent my frustrations about finances to Keith and aleviate the stress, I know I am not doing him justly by mentioning these things. The nice thing is that he listens and offers advice that makes sense - he doesn't like the way our finances are either, but it is just a time in our lives when we are going to have to make do and not worry about something that we cannot in fact change. Sure I would like to have a nice two bedroom apartment/townhouse, but truth be told, we cannot afford that right now - I do not even know if we can afford it by next summer. But I avow not to worry about something that far off, what's the point? I may relapse on my promise, but it will do me good to keep this in mind. Who is to say that all of my worrying about money and jobs and bills did not infact cause my stomach problems? Stress is a nasty illness to recover from, and we've all been there. I just need to take it one day at a time.