Regain 1

[velesdonnersen]

 Tarvek goes to mailbox, mind really not on much of anything but the nights spent sleeping next to Ilsa...and the conundrum of Mayfield.  He flips the lid open, reaches in...

...and removes a small cardboard box.  He frowns, and cautiously, warily opens it.

Nestled in a handful of packing tissue, he finds a clean, new, neat little bit of a machine.

Comments

[catslooklikeme]

[Nall teleports to his usual spot in time to catch Tarvek's happy dance. He watches in stunned silence a moment, before laughing helplessly at the sight.]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that something sure made you really happy, Tarvek.

[velesdonnersen]

[Tarvek tries very hard to look hurt and offended. After all, his personality is a bit like a cat's: you're LAUGHING at him! But he really is very happy, and he likes it when Nall visits.]

Hello, Nall! Yes, I'm happy. I think -- I'm not sure -- but I think I have at least some of my spark back.

[Very seriously displays the spark plug.] This is a device from an automobile: it's called a spark plug. And while I knew some of what it was for previously, whatever it is that Mayfield does to close off our powers used to make me get confused and get headaches when I tried to think of any of the mechanics or engineering or science that is part of having the Spark.

Today, I can think about it, and I can understand what a spark plug does. It's really very clever, by the way! The people who developed the machines for Mayfield, or the world it is built from, are very good engineers! But I can think again, and my head isn't hurting, and it's not all mixed up.

[catslooklikeme]

[Nall bends over to closely examine the spark plug.]

Huh... it's kinda small... it's a part from those car things?

[He smilse warmly.] I'm glad you're feeling better. Those headaches had to be driving you crazy, right?

[velesdonnersen]

[Rolls eyes and makes a sour face.]

The headaches were bad. Not even being able to think about mechanics, or higher levels of scientific design?

[Crooked smile] You tell me, Nall: what was it like not to be able to be your dragon-self? I mean, not to be able, and not to know if you ever would be again? If I hadn't spent so much of my life pretending to be stupid, useless, vain and so on... well. I never had to hide my spark. But I knew how to hide that it was really useful. And I had to hide who I was.

Knowing how to cope with that helped: it was like playing any other role where you have to suppress some part of who you are. But I hadn't really know just how much being a spark is who I am. I mean, it's like your brains are crippled. It's like...

It's like being partially droned in very particular ways. All. The. Time.

[catslooklikeme]

[Nall frowns. He'd meant to be encouraging, but now realizes he didn't fully comprehend the level of Tarvek's pain and frustrations... and now he feels like a real heel.]

I'm... really sorry, man. I didn't... really, really get it...

[He scratches the back of his neck, pondering Tarvek's question.]

I still kind of struggle with not... really being complete. I'm thrilled that I can change into a human now... I've spent so much time imitating humans that being stuck looking like a flying cat just... reminded me of when I was a kid. I hated that so few people took me seriously because they assumed I was just a dumb animal, but sometimes it made people smile and be happy and forget for just a minute that we're all trapped here, so...

I still wonder if I'm ever going to be able to change into my adult dragon form. Although, truth be told, if it does... I'm a little afraid...