Title: A Matter of Trust
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Wordcount: ~1500
Rating: PG
Characters: Natasha, Maria
Notes: Written for
frith_in_thorns, for the 2014
fandom_stocking.
Summary: Natasha's prepared for death. Turns out she's not prepared for Hill.
Ultimately, Natasha didn't believe there was a good or bad way to die. There was just death. Still, there were ways she would prefer to go out, and this was better than some. Worse than others, true, but a person like her couldn't afford to be choosy.
She had been sent to a SHIELD base deep in the Sierra Nevada as part of a team meant to determine whether or not a local militia group was just a bunch of nuts with guns playing pretend (true nine times out of ten) or a real and serious threat (true only one time out of ten, but an important one time). Well, they were a threat all right. They had attacked the base with a degree of firepower that spoke of serious funding and powerful backers. One of the big powers.
It would be up to someone else to figure out which one. Natasha had led the evacuation of the civilian personnel, disarmed three bombs that had been set for later, no doubt meant to pick off reinforcements and support, and taken out a couple dozen of the enemy. It would have to be enough. Natasha was mostly certain her leg was broken, and while she probably would have been able to walk on it long enough to get out, they had also shot her. She could escape with a broken leg or heavy blood loss, but not both. Not to mention the fact that the militia members had found her position. She had her guns and plenty of ammo, and was still taking them out, but eventually she'd run out. They were playing a waiting game and they knew it.
It wasn't a terrible note to end on. She hadn't been at SHIELD nearly long enough to repay her debt to them, but this was at least something. She made a mental apology to Director Fury, who had gotten so little use out of his new asset. She made another apology to Clint, even if she didn't know exactly what she was apologizing for. A lot of things.
A blast of gunfire rang out, and Natasha saw the corpses of the men who had taken cover from her fall away. A few of the survivors started to run, and Natasha picked them off. Deputy Director Hill ran up to her. “We need to move, Agent. There will be more where they came from.”
Natasha looked from her leg to her hastily bandaged bullet wound. “Not happening, ma'am.”
Maria frowned. “Damn.” She leaned down and picked Natasha up. “Can you move if I support you?”
“That's not an option,” Natasha explained. “Your speed will be halved, and neither of us will be able to shoot as well.” Natasha was a valuable asset, but, as Deputy Director, Hill was far more valuable. She had to prioritize herself.
Natasha wasn't sure why Hill was even making the effort. Hill didn't like her. She certainly didn't trust her. Hill would look at Natasha like she was just waiting for Natasha to turn on them so she could put a bullet in her head. Natasha appreciated that. After all, Natasha didn't trust herself. Even if she didn't intend to betray SHIELD, she could never know for sure what traps may have been laid deep in her mind. Too many SHIELD agents were afraid of her, and Natasha knew how to use fear. Clint wouldn't be afraid of her, but he'd try to save her, and she knew how to use that too. But Hill would put her down without a second thought. Natasha found very few things comforting, but she found comfort in that.
“Romanoff, pay attention,” Hill snapped. She slung Natasha's arm over her shoulder and took a few experimental steps. “You're right, we're not getting to the exit.” But instead of dropping Natasha, Hill started to walk to the edge of the room.
Natasha shook her head and didn't walk. She was slowing Hill down. They had established that.
“Dammit, Romanoff. I want you moving now.”
It was an order, and Natasha knew how to take orders. More importantly, it was an order from someone in SHIELD, and Natasha had made the choice to listen to their orders. Without even needing to think about it, her one good leg moved.
Hill moved them into a corner. Natasha frowned. Now they were trapped. “This isn't good tactics.”
Hill shook her head. “We know we're not leaving on our own. Backup's coming, enough to wipe these idiots off the map. We just have to stay alive until then. Now they can attack us from limited directions.”
That was logical, except for fact that Hill should have been retreating and leaving Natasha behind. “You should leave me,” she insisted.
Hill shook her head. “This doesn't have to be me or you. We can hold them off until help arrives.” Hill sighed. “I'm not leaving you, so you can stop telling me to. Do you give Barton and Fury this much trouble?”
“More,” Natasha said with a tiny smile. Hill was staying to save Natasha. That didn't make any sense. “You don't even like me,” she said to Hill.
“Who says I don't like you?” Hill looked genuinely perplexed.
“You definitely don't trust me.”
“Of course I don't. It's my job not to trust people. You're dangerous, and I prepare for danger. That doesn't mean I dislike you.”
Natasha took that in. Her thoughts were interrupted by a group of enemy fighters. Between her and Hill, they were quickly dispatched.
“Romanoff.” Hill's voice was as deadly serious as Natasha had ever heard it. “I'm hesitant to tell you this, because you could use it against SHIELD, but I want to make it very clear what kind of stakes we're playing for. Director Fury considers you a good investment, and if anyone asks, that's what he'll stick to. But he likes you. And because of that, I have to be twice as careful about you.” She met Natasha's eyes. “And if you ever try to use that to hurt him, understand this: I will be there. And the only reason I might not shoot you on sight would be to cut out your liver and feed it to you.”
Of all the things Natasha might have expected to hear, that wasn't among them. “I would never hurt anyone in SHIELD intentionally.”
“That's my assumption. But I can't take it on faith.”
“Good. You shouldn't.” At first Natasha had difficulty placing the feeling softly making a home inside her. Safety. There was safety in what Hill promised her.
“It doesn't end there, Romanoff.” Hill's voice was softer now, though only slightly. “You're SHIELD until evidence suggests otherwise, and I'm not leaving anyone from SHIELD behind.”
Now Natasha really had no idea what she was feeling. A burst of gunfire and noise meant she didn't have to figure it out. She turned, ready to fire, but halted when she saw SHIELD uniforms.
Maria smiled grimly. “About time.” She looked at one of the agents who had burst in. “Get Agent Romanoff out of here and into medical right away,” she ordered. She briefly placed a hand on Natasha's shoulder. “I'm going to help clean up.” Then she was gone, back into the fray.
The SHIELD agent Maria had handed her off to simply hoisted Natasha into his arms, which Natasha tried not to take as an indignity. She tried to relax as she was carried back to one of the jets. She had done her part.
Once reinforcements showed up, Natasha would later learn, it became a very one sided fight. There was the remaining and immediate concern of just who had outfitted a bunch of idiot militia members to take on SHIELD, but only some of that would be Natasha's problem. It was people like Hill who would have to piece the whole thing together.
Natasha refused to spend more than a day in the helicarrier's medical wing. Partly because she didn't need to be there, partly because it was boring, but largely because being stuck in a hospital bed made her Clint's captive audience, and that was terrifying.
Hill came to see Natasha just as she was preparing to leave. “Just another day in SHIELD, huh?” Hill remarked.
Natasha smiled. “I'm going to miss firefights after two days of light duty.” She swallowed and tried to work out what to say. She decided to stick with simple. “You saved my life.” She shrugged. “So, thanks.”
Maria shrugged in return. “I would have done it for anyone.”
“I know.” That was the point. It meant that Natasha was part of everyone. That she belonged here.
Hill looked at her intently. She seemed to come to some conclusion, but Natasha didn't know what it might have been. “I'll see you later, Romanoff. You need any help getting out of here?”
Natasha shook here head. “I've got it.”
Maria turned to go, but stopped. “One more thing: good work, Agent.”
Natasha felt her her smile grow just a bit deeper. “Any time, ma'am.”
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