Burnout , HGA, Simplicity, etc.
I awoke in darkness.. surrounded by silence. Felt my heart beating in rhythm with the earth. Let the quietness seep into my being..all the way down to the core.
Stare at my whiteboard.. study study study.. my path is so very clear..25 hours this week. Felt into the spaces of resistance in my body...what is the source of this resistance?
Self-sabatoge? Burnout? Fear? What in myself is keeping me from entering the 'flow' of my study practice? It's not as if I am feeling like I've had to little social time. I haven't felt that way recently. It's not as if I am afraid of moving out of state (I resolved that last week but agreeing to let myself choose not to if I felt like it). Is it fear of studying and not doing better? Sure maybe..but does this account to all the resistance I feel? No. Quiet Quiet Quiet the mind.. follow the thread..
Last week, I broke through the burnout and got my essays together..Will today be the day I break through my anti-lsat study wall.. Can I gather enough strength and focus and will to study every night this week? I am so incredibly behind. I have 20 days left till my test. If I focus, I can totally make it happen. I know this but there is no time to spare, no time to procrastinate. It's do or do not time.. like the fuzzy green man said.
I'm making my almond wand a talisman for my Working. Coating it with Abramelin oil every day. Contemplating an hga specific mantra. Any suggestions? Gayatri is my backup but I was looking for something more focalized.
Today I am going to push through my LSAT resistance and study for four hours. I could use any extra good wishes and prayers you have.. to break through the barrier in my own mind that is holding me back from accomplishing my Will. 25 hours a week for 3 weeks. I can do this. I was doing more before.
My dad sends me this stupid emails (you kow the kind that were funny for like 2 months in the mid-nineties? ) Today's email was on wisdom from old people..normally I just press delete...but today I found myself skimming it.
This struck me.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
I asked myself. What in my life is none of those things? Are there things in your life that do not serve any of these functions? Is there another function that is important to add to this list?
Stare at my whiteboard.. study study study.. my path is so very clear..25 hours this week. Felt into the spaces of resistance in my body...what is the source of this resistance?
Self-sabatoge? Burnout? Fear? What in myself is keeping me from entering the 'flow' of my study practice? It's not as if I am feeling like I've had to little social time. I haven't felt that way recently. It's not as if I am afraid of moving out of state (I resolved that last week but agreeing to let myself choose not to if I felt like it). Is it fear of studying and not doing better? Sure maybe..but does this account to all the resistance I feel? No. Quiet Quiet Quiet the mind.. follow the thread..
Last week, I broke through the burnout and got my essays together..Will today be the day I break through my anti-lsat study wall.. Can I gather enough strength and focus and will to study every night this week? I am so incredibly behind. I have 20 days left till my test. If I focus, I can totally make it happen. I know this but there is no time to spare, no time to procrastinate. It's do or do not time.. like the fuzzy green man said.
I'm making my almond wand a talisman for my Working. Coating it with Abramelin oil every day. Contemplating an hga specific mantra. Any suggestions? Gayatri is my backup but I was looking for something more focalized.
Today I am going to push through my LSAT resistance and study for four hours. I could use any extra good wishes and prayers you have.. to break through the barrier in my own mind that is holding me back from accomplishing my Will. 25 hours a week for 3 weeks. I can do this. I was doing more before.
My dad sends me this stupid emails (you kow the kind that were funny for like 2 months in the mid-nineties? ) Today's email was on wisdom from old people..normally I just press delete...but today I found myself skimming it.
This struck me.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
I asked myself. What in my life is none of those things? Are there things in your life that do not serve any of these functions? Is there another function that is important to add to this list?