Christmas Moves Onward
My sleeping pattern is completely out of sync. That may have much to do with escaping from the basement of a friend's bedroom at quarter to 1 with having been asleep for only three hours. I awoke to my own biological clock rather than my sleepy alarm which for some reason rang ten minutes later than I had set it which leads me to believe that somehow I had hit the snooze button. "Danny, wake up," I whispered and nudged as his head was resting beneath my armpit in the same position he had assumed just before we drifted off to sleep. "We have to get out of here unless we want to explain to Summer's parents why we asleep in their creepy basement." I stumbled out of bed nearly knocking over one of the life-sized snow children her mother had crafted from felt, glue and yarn that was staring at us beside the bed as we slept and slipped on my grey corduroys. It wasn't a particularly creepy basement but sleeping in the spare bedroom did give a bit of a disturbing edge due to the the physiognomy of the snowmen and their expressionless, dead, cold stares. Originally we were going to put them in the closet but upon opening we were horrified to see that there were stacks and stacks of them piled to the edge of the door frame. We grabbed the overnight bag and the three bottles of vodka and half-consumed bottle of Jager, crept upstairs, slipped on our shoes and dashed out of the door throwing everything in the trunk of the car. The alcohol wasn't even ours but her parents were the type that would have died had they realized people were over at their house drinking so we promised her we would dispose of the evidence.
No actually, I didn't realize just how nice her parent's house really was. Their basement would be the envy on the block. There was a bedroom and bath, a home gym room, a craft room with a sewing table, a billiard room with huge pool table, a den with faux fireplace and a home theatre room. Other than the bedroom where Danny and I crashed we spent most of the previous evening in the billiard room after Jillian left.
Summer had developed this plan to have us over at her place after the knowledge of her parent's going out of town for the weekend had materialized. We decided to forfeit the idea of going there Friday night after work thinking that she and Adam may have wanted to spend some time alone after being snowed in an entire week despite her pleas for us to come over with movies.
Instead we went home, slept in and met Chan at Taxco for dinner. This is the second weekend in a row we had done so. It's always nice to catch up with Chan since we don't get to see her much since she was fired from Saia a couple of months ago for having cancer.
At Summer's we made another pot of homemade sangria and set around the table to a couple of rounds of Apples to Apples, a party game that Jillian had brought over. The table was comprised of Adam, Drew, Jillian at the head, Summer, Me and Danny at the opposite head of the table. The game was a hoot - probably one of the funnest concepts which yielded some immediate fits of laughter. Jillian left and the party moved to the billiard room in the basement where things got crazy. After embarrassing himself at our house the last we saw him Drew refrained from drinking. The others drank more than they should have and I felt partially responsible for babysitting to make certain things didn't get completely out of control even though it wasn't my house. Before the night was over Summer would spill a cup of sangria on the couch in the billiard room as well as a cup of rum and apple juice on the pool table a consequence I'm sure she would have to face and explain to wondering parents sometime later upon their discovery. Adam brilliantly decided that strip pool was a good idea and this is when I started to sit out after realizing freezing in her basement was not my idea of a fun night out. He was a little overzealous about he and Danny taking their clothes off and even more enthusiastic about me filming it all. At one point when Danny was in his underwear he asked "could we please switch underwear? I'm wearing my 2xist briefs and they'll have my junk all on display." Mine weren't really all that better - I was wearing my cute turquoise boxer briefs from Urban Outfitters but I knew the underwear he was referring to and figured he would stand a better chance with mine so we went to the bathroom and switched out. He was actually not an angry drunk this particular night though I'd been on alert when he said "shut up louisiana trash" when I laughed as he scratched a ball hours earlier. The room grew silent and I think he realized the distasteful backfiring of his unwarranted insult and retracted with ultra kindness the remainder of the evening realizing the angry drunken schtick is growing out of favour with his friends really quickly. Things were getting awfully weird quite swiftly when Adam forced Summer to chase Danny around the table in his underwear and then urged them to make out while the camera rolled.
"Okay, what's going on?" Summer said. "I need to know. Is my boyfriend gay? This is getting reallllly weird" She pulled me aside and asked me in her humorous, yet desperate whispery Summer voice. Adam had never really displayed these tendencies before saying only comments like "I used to be homophobic before I met you guys" or taking the defense violently when people asked if he was gay. But all the times he's hung out with us and particularly all of the times he's had the opportunity to try anything with Danny alone -why wait until now to play games in his underwear and get his girlfriend to make out with his gay best friend? "That was homophobe turned homoerotic," said Danny on the ride back home as he tried to make sense of Adam's erratic behaviour.
If this wasn't enough he kept insisting that they have a three way make out session. Summer and Danny, though weirded out, went along with the idea and of course, I documented everything with the new 8mm application on my iPhone I had bought from the Apple app store. It was a fitting end to a really, weird evening and if that wasn't enough upstairs Adam called Danny to have him crack his back by pulling his elbows from behind. This was when Summer and I walked away. Danny said Adam kept insisting we all just "sleep upstairs" but he declined and crept downstairs where we brushed our teeth together and talked about the events of the crazy evening before going to bed.
On the way home we decided to stop at Taxco for tacos wearing the same outfits we had on the previous day when we met up with Chan. Our hair was disheveled and we felt like moles that were seeing light for the first time. Snow and ice still littered the sides of the road and lawns even nearly a week after it had fallen but I'm sure the warm daily temperatures (50s) would take care of that once and for all.
We crawled home, tossed on our pjs, had sex and slept until 7pm. The only time we got out of bed was when Nilsa called us down for dinner (she had made spaghetti). We spent the night on Youtube and Hulu watching endless SNL vignettes with Danny's head resting on my chest and the cat by my side for a time before he was kicked out of the room. Later we switched to Marvel watching old X-men cartoons picking up where we had left off months ago before quitting. Boredom arrived and we drifted to sleep around 3. It was the perfect kind of day and really we hadn't gotten along this harmoniously since Norway. I felt the sense of restlessness that had surfaced with the onset of the New Year dissipate for more than a 24 hour time span; I was starting to wonder if this entire year was going to be imbalanced with bouts of long-winded dread but today proved that at least every once in a while I may enjoy a moment of contentment.
I remember having a week that was as relaxing as this weekend was not too long ago. I remember waking up and not having to worry about plans or working or any sorts of troubles or worries for that matter.
Monday, December 27th, 2010
I woke early Monday afternoon about an hour before Marita had come back home. I heated some leftover pizza in the oven for Danny and I and we snacked on the broken bits of chocolate that Marita had left for us the night before. I made sure to tidy up a bit cleaning the dishes were were left dirty from the previous day and straightening up the living room. It's always easy to do those sorts of things when the owner isn't around. I never know if by cleaning that I would somehow offend someone but because Marita wasn't there, I'm sure it appeared that I was simply not wanting to leave her with a messy apartment or burden her in any way.
She arrived at home feverish and said she had left work early. She showered and took us to the mall in downtown Moss where I was able to pick up contact solution since it was confiscated a Schipol airport in Amsterdam and my eyes were getting increasingly dryer. If you want things such as contact solution the only option is the optometrist; there is no super-center like Walmart in Norway. I took advantage of being at the mall and picked up some hair grease considering that Marita had only hairspray. One thing I did notice while visiting in Norway: the tap water was amazing. Not only could you drink it but it did wonders for my hair which was magazine perfect for an entire week despite what the photographs taken then may indicate.
We did some shopping at H&M where I picked up a scarf and underwear. There are H&M's everywhere here. Being a Swedish company I'm sure they're quite common in Europe and in particular, Scandinavia.
We had plans to attend a traditional Christmas dinner of lamb at her father and stepmother's. "Now you don't have to eat it if you don't like it," she said. "It's definitely an acquired taste and its very salty." She had us worried for a bit and I kept imagining this horrifying slab of meat and forcing it down my throat so as not to appear rude. Danny is even more picky when it comes to eating meat so I was even more worried about him. When entering the house to a peculiar and unfamiliar aromas of cooked meat I became even more worried of the meal's outcome.
Their house was lovely like all of the houses we had seen. Quaint, small and perfectly decorated for Christmas. It was warm and beautiful. Once inside we were introduced to her father who was very open and inviting though a bit more stern than Mona and Tom. It was obvious that her stepmother was afraid of speaking English to us but she did a fine job as did most of the people we encountered.
Even at the mall earlier when I established to the clerk at H&M that I didn't speak Norwegian she immediately switched to speaking English to me. Danny is always a harder case being embarrassed he simply nods rather than alerting anyone that he doesn't speak the native language.
Christine was there with baby Nickoli and it wasn't long before we were settling around the table. While walking to the kitchen we heard hushed fits and giggles as someone descended the stairs and then we were promptly told "don't talk to the girls....they're shy." I didn't know if I should take this as a joke or a genuine precaution as though the nurses from silent hill were joining us for dinner and would strike at the sound of human voices. Danny and I eyed one another nervously.
It's always weird to sit at someone's table and I was ushered into an awkward spot. Stepmother at the head, me, Danny, Marita, Nickoli, Christine at opposite head, Daughter, daughter's friend, and then her Father across from me. It's weird when you don't know people's customs. Do they say grace? Do they expect you to eat as you get served or wait until everyone is served before eating? Would they say something if your elbows were on the table? But I should note that this awkwardness is never exerted by anyone we encountered here and is strictly made up from my mind's imagination. I think we're simply not used to formal dinners. And everything seems so proper here down to the silverware. It's never that they made you feel the least bit uncomfortable.
You get a feel that Christmas is something real here. It's a meaningful celebration. It's not one-two punch centering around the mad-rush of shopping after Thanksgiving and the ungrateful gift unwrapping before a hectic meal like it is here. It's actually a twelve day fellowship. So that when she says Christmas meal I immediately think "but that was two days ago, aren't we a bit late?" Not to Norwegians. The celebration officially ends New Years Day until then, it's the celebration of Christmas time which is enjoyed by nearly all considering that most people don't work at this time.
The lamb wasn't so bad and before he even passed the first dish, her father (whose name sadly escapes me), expressed that we "leave anything that we don't like." This was an offer I gladly accepted when it came to the rutabaga but I quite enjoyed everything else. We had holiday beers and dined on lamb, potatoes and rutabaga. Potatoes, it would appear are a huge staple here just as they are in American culture. They serve them boiled and you simply mash them with your fork and pour gravy on top to season them. Only once did I flub when I grabbed the salt and twisted the shaker upside without realizing. I half-wondered by nothing was falling out but didn't think anything of it until a few minutes later when Danny grabbed and operated it in proper fashion. He glanced at me briefly and a part of me wondered if he wanted salt at all or if it was simply to show me that I was moron pedaling backwards up a hill sideways. I was simply hoping that no one noticed. Such is my life.
We had a fantastic dessert of rice pudding with strawberry syrup. The sweets in Norway are the best. This was not overly sugary but the perfect texture and level of sweetness. Like with most people here, they were enthralled by the level of ignorance in our political structure. After the meal we sat in the living room and watched Olympic skiing and talked about politics until the evening grew dark and the hours crept into double digits. They don't understand how a nation as powerful as the US can have such a weak politic infrastructure. How we can't seem to find common ground in social issues with such opposing politic party agendas. They don't understand why people here are not united in their stance for universal health care. They think we're violent, ignorant, greedy, overly-consuming buffoons. Of course, no one has uttered anything that would offensive or an attack on us personally. It's always after we've opened the topic to explain just what dilemma we face here in America and why we could never be like Europe before they start expressing their own opinions. I wonder about ultra conservative people like Jenell or Wendy and what they would think if they were forced to spend time here learning about other cultures which Oboma's original "social reform" tactics seem to be modeled upon. I wonder how they would feel about five paid weeks off a year (minimum) or not having to pay anything for a common doctor's visit. Or having Walmart closed on Sundays so that people were forced to relax at home.
Despite my original reserve centering about the lamb, I really enjoyed the evening. Back at Marita's apartment we dropped off the van she had borrowed from her mother and walked back to her place. She lives rather close to her mother and we slid on foot down the icy pavement laughing and snapping photos in the snow.
We watched a bit of TV again. This could have been the night that we watched a Norwegian reality show that centers around a community of people that have special abilities like down syndrome and follows them as they live their life in the pursuit of love and happiness. I don't think a show like this could materialize in American without seeming exploitative but it was entertaining.
We spoke a bit about Ouija boards and the like and then she was off again to spend the night at Tom's whom she had mentioned was getting very jealous of us since she was spending all of her time with her visitors rather than him.
We didn't really know how to take this but little did we know, we'd be face to face with him in less than twenty-four hours time.
Life would roll onward in Moss as the Christmas celebration continued.