WHERE HAVE ALL THE LESBIANS GONE

[vejiicakes]

Following up on what will no doubt be a much longer line of epically horrid movies viewed by my (also horrid) friends and I over the summer, the previous one featuring the battle of a prehistoric giant shark and octopus, I think we've finally capitalized on our masochistic viewings with this beauty: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter*.

And now YOU TOO can watch it in its entirety! At your own leisure, instead of.. in one sitting like we did, while sober -_-

Click to view

So, I love that Alan Moore comes crashing out of the bushes at us to... to do whatever it is that guy did.

Part 2/9: Jesus battles his first vampires on the beach. Also, a musical number.
Part 3/9: I'll need to buy some wood. For stakes.
Part 4/9: Jesus and Mary Magnum uncover the mystery of the missing Ottawan lesbians.
Part 5/9: At 1:58 features the best performance of incoherent horror you will ever behold.
Part 6/9: TALKING DESSERT
Part 7/9: Jesus isn't very adept at scatting but at least he kicks ass
Part 8/9: Watch out, Jesus! That guy has intestines!
Part 9/9: The staggeringly profound conclusion.

* Yeah, I think this even beats out Killer Drag Queens on Dope. Which you should also check out.