this week...
I have an entire week to do soul-searching, cleaning, packing, fixing up more of the house, and paying bills, looking preety, working, and everything else you can imagine. Chris should be home sometimes the beginning of next week. We'll see. It's and ONCALL Homecoming. Great. I have ONE of the three possible days off. The other days, I have to open and have no one to cover. i've told htis to Chris and he's like, I'll just get a ride to work.. no problem. GREAT welcome home, ya know? Im about ready to toss the keys on the roof SERIOUSLY. I just want to run away from EVERYTHING EVERYONE and..just do my thang.
Chris got news that once he comes back, there is this HUGE change he'll be sent over feb-may back to iraq for an ENTIRE year. shoooooooey. Great news. SO, basically I told him I dont want a baby(even though that is what i want the most) because I dont want to raise the kid alone. Deployments are bad enough. I dont want to add to it the fact that it will be a new base, new people..new house, then a baby...all while hubby is gone. NO THANK YOU!
Plus, my hubby is socially kinda-semi drinking, which is totally UNLIKE him. They stopped in Germany. He got a rum and coke...when he could have been calling home...I've received two phone calls since thursday and he's in CALIFORNIA for goodness sake's. He also said he could come home early becuase we're moving so soon, but he'd rther stay with the Marines. And he's also told me he needs to lighten up a lil. I agree. But all this change happening all at once ....I dont even know WHO we are anymore. We haven't been by ourselves since 2002!! We got married in 2001. Between people living with us and deployments and working opposite shifts...I dont know how we survived. I dont now what is next for us. He's so distant now...and I find I have nothing to say to him. And he isn't even HOME yet.
Can i handle all of this??
Chris got news that once he comes back, there is this HUGE change he'll be sent over feb-may back to iraq for an ENTIRE year. shoooooooey. Great news. SO, basically I told him I dont want a baby(even though that is what i want the most) because I dont want to raise the kid alone. Deployments are bad enough. I dont want to add to it the fact that it will be a new base, new people..new house, then a baby...all while hubby is gone. NO THANK YOU!
Plus, my hubby is socially kinda-semi drinking, which is totally UNLIKE him. They stopped in Germany. He got a rum and coke...when he could have been calling home...I've received two phone calls since thursday and he's in CALIFORNIA for goodness sake's. He also said he could come home early becuase we're moving so soon, but he'd rther stay with the Marines. And he's also told me he needs to lighten up a lil. I agree. But all this change happening all at once ....I dont even know WHO we are anymore. We haven't been by ourselves since 2002!! We got married in 2001. Between people living with us and deployments and working opposite shifts...I dont know how we survived. I dont now what is next for us. He's so distant now...and I find I have nothing to say to him. And he isn't even HOME yet.
Can i handle all of this??