(no subject)
so we had a party last night and it really made me realize how much ive changed, i feel like im my mom or something, i didnt drink at all and for the second half of it i wished that everyone would leave so that i could go to bed.
that may also be because i have no friends so everyone there was sarah/jenns friends...and i got annoyed cuz jenns trashy friend hayley brought her trashy bff who brought 2 drunk sketchy guys which really pissed me off. the worst part is that they were the last to leave...not sure why, apparently they were "waiting for a cab" i tried to go to bed but i couldnt cuz tehy were all talking, so then i get up and learn that jenn has gone to bed and left sarah alone to kick out the drunkards and the trashy girls, now i dont think it was rude of me to go to bed, they are not my friends and i was tired, but i was so pissed off at jenn for going to bed, i realize that she did not invite the drunks but her friend did and it would have been the right thing to do to show them out. i havent said anything to her about it tho, shes really difficult to bring things up with cuz she gets really defensive and i dont do well cuz i just cry a lot. so we'd expected lots and lots of jenns friends to come since she had invited everyone she knows, but no one did, but we still had a bunch of food that jenn bought and prepared cuz she really likes hosting things..and she also bought some beer and wine for people....i think that she wants us 3 to split all the "party costs" and i dunno if i should, i mean id rather not considering i dont even have money for my own food or rent and b) since they werent my friends and i didnt even necessarily want to have tons of food at the party. its a really difficult situation. sometimes jenn really pisses me off, i am constantly doing things for her, making dinner, cleaning up, dishes, giving her things and just being overall the generous and nice person that i am and i just feel as though she does not really appreciate it. i hope that things will get better once i get a job and start having a schedule...i had a good cry with my mom on the phone this morning about all this. another thing that was bad about the party was that it really made me miss everyone back in toronto and it just really made me miss having friends...god im pathetic.
i have a job interview tomorrow at a bakery, wish me luck
that may also be because i have no friends so everyone there was sarah/jenns friends...and i got annoyed cuz jenns trashy friend hayley brought her trashy bff who brought 2 drunk sketchy guys which really pissed me off. the worst part is that they were the last to leave...not sure why, apparently they were "waiting for a cab" i tried to go to bed but i couldnt cuz tehy were all talking, so then i get up and learn that jenn has gone to bed and left sarah alone to kick out the drunkards and the trashy girls, now i dont think it was rude of me to go to bed, they are not my friends and i was tired, but i was so pissed off at jenn for going to bed, i realize that she did not invite the drunks but her friend did and it would have been the right thing to do to show them out. i havent said anything to her about it tho, shes really difficult to bring things up with cuz she gets really defensive and i dont do well cuz i just cry a lot. so we'd expected lots and lots of jenns friends to come since she had invited everyone she knows, but no one did, but we still had a bunch of food that jenn bought and prepared cuz she really likes hosting things..and she also bought some beer and wine for people....i think that she wants us 3 to split all the "party costs" and i dunno if i should, i mean id rather not considering i dont even have money for my own food or rent and b) since they werent my friends and i didnt even necessarily want to have tons of food at the party. its a really difficult situation. sometimes jenn really pisses me off, i am constantly doing things for her, making dinner, cleaning up, dishes, giving her things and just being overall the generous and nice person that i am and i just feel as though she does not really appreciate it. i hope that things will get better once i get a job and start having a schedule...i had a good cry with my mom on the phone this morning about all this. another thing that was bad about the party was that it really made me miss everyone back in toronto and it just really made me miss having friends...god im pathetic.
i have a job interview tomorrow at a bakery, wish me luck