Big mouth
I've come to learn that I should just keep my big mouth shut. Anything I ever try to input into a conversation either makes me sound like a complete idiot, is completely and utterly misunderstood, or is totally not as funny as it sounded in my own head.
I really feel like an idiot when I speak up, especially at my cousin's house... I've come to notice that her family finds alot of things to pick on me about lately, and I'm wondering if they're taking things out on me for "problems" that have happened in the recent past. But whatever their reasons are, I've just grown to ignore what they say and shrug it off.
It also seems that I can never speak my mind nowadays, unless I want to get strange or angry looks. Nothing I seem to want to do or help with is the "right thing" to do, and it just makes me feel like I'm a complete idiot and that I can't share myself with anyone in the real world- besides Sara, of course...
My mom is the only other person I can really share myself with, too. She doesn't always understand everything I'm saying or explaining, but at least she tries... And at least she's happy with the things I'm doing and the choices I'm making, instead of continuing to put up a fight and trying to force me to make decisions I clearly don't want to make.
Some times I wonder if I should just let people push me around... Let people mold me into what they want me to be... At least some one would be happy...
I really feel like an idiot when I speak up, especially at my cousin's house... I've come to notice that her family finds alot of things to pick on me about lately, and I'm wondering if they're taking things out on me for "problems" that have happened in the recent past. But whatever their reasons are, I've just grown to ignore what they say and shrug it off.
It also seems that I can never speak my mind nowadays, unless I want to get strange or angry looks. Nothing I seem to want to do or help with is the "right thing" to do, and it just makes me feel like I'm a complete idiot and that I can't share myself with anyone in the real world- besides Sara, of course...
My mom is the only other person I can really share myself with, too. She doesn't always understand everything I'm saying or explaining, but at least she tries... And at least she's happy with the things I'm doing and the choices I'm making, instead of continuing to put up a fight and trying to force me to make decisions I clearly don't want to make.
Some times I wonder if I should just let people push me around... Let people mold me into what they want me to be... At least some one would be happy...