(no subject)
I just recently (as in 5 minutes ago) found a friend from elementry schools live journal... no big deal except this girl and i had been friends from preshcool untill well basically we lost contact after the Angela fiasco of 2003 lol. I cant believe it.. its so hard for me to accept it sometimes... I'm nothing like i was in High School. looking over photos.. and what not.. thats not me... i dont think, act, look, talk, eat.. sleep... That person is a ghost... expect in our spelling... we still spell the same (though i think its getting better)....
I'm a senior in College.. and i look back and it seems that everyone i know who went to school back in California.... Never grew up... its so wierd... i mean i smoke and drink... and party but also.......i fucking crack down and do my shit... College taught me diciplin... and i just am amazed at how much i'm no longer the High School Senior me....
Back then... I was Dateing Jess... My best friend were always going to be, Betsy and Amanda, Angela, and John Rogitz... The Elementry group had made it though diffrent high schools unaffectd... and of course college was the same way... righ... lol.. so foolish... i was innocent then... i mean fuck yah i though i was a bad ass.. but i was nothing (and no i dont think i'm a bad ass now)... I was a niev catholic girl... who grew up in an abusive family and yet somehow blocked all the bad... I was loud, obnoxious at times... and pigenholed into a friend sterotype... i never knew hardship or death (except Great uncle bob and Great Aunt Olga who i barley knew).... I was selfish... and mean at times... Oh god..i had alot of friends.. but i always tried to hard... i had to know everything about everything (ok some things are hard to change)...
I think thats why i have such issues when i chopped my hair all off.... I guess when i grew my hair out... i grew me out as well... Whats even worse... is i dont know who the fellow girls are with me in the picture... I mean i know Betsy is in Texas....but thats about it.. havnt talked to her since.... sometime last semester.. and she wasnt home when i was because we both stayed in our respective states this summer.... Amanda is Cheering at LMU i suppose.. Angela... No clue... and could care less... Krystin, Heran, Dana, Andrea.... all the same no idea... and though part of me cares... a larger part is like fuck it... i'll always remember when people got mad at me for not calling and what not... So funny... i had my life... and the first love of my life (curt) and then the breakup from hell and the year of hell after the breakup from hell (and yah he is still my best friend...)Its crazy.... I'm so proud of myself... and though i would love to reconnect with certin people from the past...i know for others its to late (or i want nothing to do with them)...
Homes no longer seeing friends from old (though i am suposed to hang out with John... YAYAY i miss him).. its family time... hell i have so much homework i'll be doing that one day alone lol... and then i come back to what i now consider my real home... Milwaukee Wisconsin... Thats so wierd LOL... I come back to Lindsay, Mo, Noah, Kellen, Doha, zina, My wonderful boyfriend Andy, Holly, Leisa, Brandon, Abby, and so many freaking others its funny... i mean looking at those pictures made me think about what i might have lost.... but frankley i have so much here.. i dont know why i even dared to let the thought creep in my mind... i'm blessed... knock on wood lol... ok sorry i had a retarded moment for a sec....
LOL i'm not that high school girl... I'm that College Woman... holy shit... I'm finaly going to say this without fear... I Natalie Colette Perpetua Napolitano am a bonified real life ADULT! who will graduate in May and i dont know get married and have babies (LOL no no no... )I'm going to live my life... and Fucking hang out with Mitch cuz he will be home from Iraq... and i'll write letters to Curt who will be missing graduation because hes going to Iraq in January...
Ok i'm rambeling... i'm lucky lol... ok i'm going... time to memorize for history!
I'm a senior in College.. and i look back and it seems that everyone i know who went to school back in California.... Never grew up... its so wierd... i mean i smoke and drink... and party but also.......i fucking crack down and do my shit... College taught me diciplin... and i just am amazed at how much i'm no longer the High School Senior me....
Back then... I was Dateing Jess... My best friend were always going to be, Betsy and Amanda, Angela, and John Rogitz... The Elementry group had made it though diffrent high schools unaffectd... and of course college was the same way... righ... lol.. so foolish... i was innocent then... i mean fuck yah i though i was a bad ass.. but i was nothing (and no i dont think i'm a bad ass now)... I was a niev catholic girl... who grew up in an abusive family and yet somehow blocked all the bad... I was loud, obnoxious at times... and pigenholed into a friend sterotype... i never knew hardship or death (except Great uncle bob and Great Aunt Olga who i barley knew).... I was selfish... and mean at times... Oh god..i had alot of friends.. but i always tried to hard... i had to know everything about everything (ok some things are hard to change)...
I think thats why i have such issues when i chopped my hair all off.... I guess when i grew my hair out... i grew me out as well... Whats even worse... is i dont know who the fellow girls are with me in the picture... I mean i know Betsy is in Texas....but thats about it.. havnt talked to her since.... sometime last semester.. and she wasnt home when i was because we both stayed in our respective states this summer.... Amanda is Cheering at LMU i suppose.. Angela... No clue... and could care less... Krystin, Heran, Dana, Andrea.... all the same no idea... and though part of me cares... a larger part is like fuck it... i'll always remember when people got mad at me for not calling and what not... So funny... i had my life... and the first love of my life (curt) and then the breakup from hell and the year of hell after the breakup from hell (and yah he is still my best friend...)Its crazy.... I'm so proud of myself... and though i would love to reconnect with certin people from the past...i know for others its to late (or i want nothing to do with them)...
Homes no longer seeing friends from old (though i am suposed to hang out with John... YAYAY i miss him).. its family time... hell i have so much homework i'll be doing that one day alone lol... and then i come back to what i now consider my real home... Milwaukee Wisconsin... Thats so wierd LOL... I come back to Lindsay, Mo, Noah, Kellen, Doha, zina, My wonderful boyfriend Andy, Holly, Leisa, Brandon, Abby, and so many freaking others its funny... i mean looking at those pictures made me think about what i might have lost.... but frankley i have so much here.. i dont know why i even dared to let the thought creep in my mind... i'm blessed... knock on wood lol... ok sorry i had a retarded moment for a sec....
LOL i'm not that high school girl... I'm that College Woman... holy shit... I'm finaly going to say this without fear... I Natalie Colette Perpetua Napolitano am a bonified real life ADULT! who will graduate in May and i dont know get married and have babies (LOL no no no... )I'm going to live my life... and Fucking hang out with Mitch cuz he will be home from Iraq... and i'll write letters to Curt who will be missing graduation because hes going to Iraq in January...
Ok i'm rambeling... i'm lucky lol... ok i'm going... time to memorize for history!