Yeah this is cool shit man.
Yeah so Brittany just text me how she hates talking to me in serious conversations because I'm always right and that I give the best advice of anyone she's ever met because I'm so brutally honest and don't leave people hanging like "you need to change." And how might I go about doing that? Exactry!!
Yeah so I just realized today that I'm becoming so laid back lol. I had the best day in school of my life though, so that's wierd. I like.. am becoming wayyy too laid back, I don't even want to party anymore. Just so sick of it all. You know how much I would kill to just find a chick who I could sit there and watch tv with while we just laid there and not have to be nervous like "wtf is she thinking" when I know she's thinking the same thing as me, which is, that that guy just busted his fucking nuts, HAHA! Yeah I'm not feeling obligated to do anything much in life these days other than school work, it used to be like the total opposite, dunno wtf this transition is but it's cool cause like, I'm so content. Like meh, Jacob Stemmer told me he wanted me at his party tonight cause I'm a major party boy and I'm like meh, nothx. Then I was gonna call Lauren, but meh, I don't think she's the type of person who would honestly want to drive somewhere to lay with someone who 5 hours and watch TV and maybe drink a little. Shit without the drinking would so do, I'm so over the whole rebellious alcohol and drug scene. It was never the fact that I was lost like most other people are, cause I've based so much time in my life on finding out what I really am that I never had that problem, was just rebellion and pride. Cause I always wanted to win.
But lately... haha I don't really have pride anymore. Not like I don't have pride where I'm that fat kid who pokes fun at himself like "HAHA I DONT CARE< IDIOT FACE!!!!" Nah I'm just willing to admit I'm wrong and give clear and actual guidance that even may not, and is usually not to my benefit, how I used to keep people attached to me. It's really sad, they'd think that I was helping them but I was just making them lean towards my side, I think I thought I was god. This was so an overnight transition like 2 weeks ago... when I actually sincerely apologized to someone, and that's CRAZY for me. Since then I've let my guard down, let new people into my life, omg speaking of new people, god man... I never thought it'd be so fun to have new people in my life, but hey, what a shock, it is. And since I've always had good judgement they're cool people, whadda ya know?! Yeah so anywho, I've been able to admit I'm wrong, and actually I haven't pretended I was right... at all, that's insane. Plus I've been validating certain peoples opinions too, not beliefs though, because anyone who is going to betray their own beliefs to accept and understand someone elses, a) loses their beliefs (even though they'll deny it up AND down) and b) just becomes ignorant and usually joins the GSA :P. On the other hand, yeah, the opinions, they're overflooding, I actually feel a bit of intellectual past being smarter than anyone, because at any second I know I can be cocky and just make somebody feel stupid. I've had like... how many years of practice? Yeah... something I'm not proud of, but a skill I obtain!
So yeah, the cool people. I met the coolest chick ever in my life, and she's the funniest, I'm sorry but anyone I know who thinks I think they're funny that reads this journal, sorry you're not remotely funny compared to this girl nor are you entertaining, being around you kind of makes me depressed and think of you as lame next to this girl. She's so blunt and funny, omg match made in heaven, like Temptee cream cheese and anything it can be topped on! lawl :\ Fat kid. :( ^^ So yeah I'm friends with all her friends because they're cool and I was friends with them before too and so it's all going gravy. I refuse to put her name in her for her fathers reputation has a bearing. So we were doing all this crazy stupid shit for the past 2 times we've had class together, omg so funny too. SO FUNNY SO FUNNY LOVE U LONG TIME!!! Yeah I just can't get over that she's so attractive and yet the most humorous person alive. And it's not like a constant humor where it's just to cover up that you're an idiot or that you're depressed, she's ACTUALLY funny. Crazy stuff huh?
Yeah I had way good of a day today, and like then I went to work and I have no urge but to do anything but sit here or lay down watching TV. Being chill is fun man, I'm not doing anything this weekend unless someone comes over here and chills with me, I swear it to god. Unless they're like "but i reallllly wanna go out." Then I'll compromise.
P.S. I don't know why, but ever since this transition I've completely become the anti-pervert, not because I don't like them, but myself, seriously I'm like not even having sexual thoughts. Wtf is wrong with me, why am I not grabbing asses or making sexual enuendos, NOT EVEN IN MY HEAD. That part I miss. Like my horny friends are all like "oh yeah, look at that ass." I'm like... dude wtf, why? And I haven't jacked off in forever. Wtf man I can't figure this out. Oh well.
- Later, David
Yeah so I just realized today that I'm becoming so laid back lol. I had the best day in school of my life though, so that's wierd. I like.. am becoming wayyy too laid back, I don't even want to party anymore. Just so sick of it all. You know how much I would kill to just find a chick who I could sit there and watch tv with while we just laid there and not have to be nervous like "wtf is she thinking" when I know she's thinking the same thing as me, which is, that that guy just busted his fucking nuts, HAHA! Yeah I'm not feeling obligated to do anything much in life these days other than school work, it used to be like the total opposite, dunno wtf this transition is but it's cool cause like, I'm so content. Like meh, Jacob Stemmer told me he wanted me at his party tonight cause I'm a major party boy and I'm like meh, nothx. Then I was gonna call Lauren, but meh, I don't think she's the type of person who would honestly want to drive somewhere to lay with someone who 5 hours and watch TV and maybe drink a little. Shit without the drinking would so do, I'm so over the whole rebellious alcohol and drug scene. It was never the fact that I was lost like most other people are, cause I've based so much time in my life on finding out what I really am that I never had that problem, was just rebellion and pride. Cause I always wanted to win.
But lately... haha I don't really have pride anymore. Not like I don't have pride where I'm that fat kid who pokes fun at himself like "HAHA I DONT CARE< IDIOT FACE!!!!" Nah I'm just willing to admit I'm wrong and give clear and actual guidance that even may not, and is usually not to my benefit, how I used to keep people attached to me. It's really sad, they'd think that I was helping them but I was just making them lean towards my side, I think I thought I was god. This was so an overnight transition like 2 weeks ago... when I actually sincerely apologized to someone, and that's CRAZY for me. Since then I've let my guard down, let new people into my life, omg speaking of new people, god man... I never thought it'd be so fun to have new people in my life, but hey, what a shock, it is. And since I've always had good judgement they're cool people, whadda ya know?! Yeah so anywho, I've been able to admit I'm wrong, and actually I haven't pretended I was right... at all, that's insane. Plus I've been validating certain peoples opinions too, not beliefs though, because anyone who is going to betray their own beliefs to accept and understand someone elses, a) loses their beliefs (even though they'll deny it up AND down) and b) just becomes ignorant and usually joins the GSA :P. On the other hand, yeah, the opinions, they're overflooding, I actually feel a bit of intellectual past being smarter than anyone, because at any second I know I can be cocky and just make somebody feel stupid. I've had like... how many years of practice? Yeah... something I'm not proud of, but a skill I obtain!
So yeah, the cool people. I met the coolest chick ever in my life, and she's the funniest, I'm sorry but anyone I know who thinks I think they're funny that reads this journal, sorry you're not remotely funny compared to this girl nor are you entertaining, being around you kind of makes me depressed and think of you as lame next to this girl. She's so blunt and funny, omg match made in heaven, like Temptee cream cheese and anything it can be topped on! lawl :\ Fat kid. :( ^^ So yeah I'm friends with all her friends because they're cool and I was friends with them before too and so it's all going gravy. I refuse to put her name in her for her fathers reputation has a bearing. So we were doing all this crazy stupid shit for the past 2 times we've had class together, omg so funny too. SO FUNNY SO FUNNY LOVE U LONG TIME!!! Yeah I just can't get over that she's so attractive and yet the most humorous person alive. And it's not like a constant humor where it's just to cover up that you're an idiot or that you're depressed, she's ACTUALLY funny. Crazy stuff huh?
Yeah I had way good of a day today, and like then I went to work and I have no urge but to do anything but sit here or lay down watching TV. Being chill is fun man, I'm not doing anything this weekend unless someone comes over here and chills with me, I swear it to god. Unless they're like "but i reallllly wanna go out." Then I'll compromise.
P.S. I don't know why, but ever since this transition I've completely become the anti-pervert, not because I don't like them, but myself, seriously I'm like not even having sexual thoughts. Wtf is wrong with me, why am I not grabbing asses or making sexual enuendos, NOT EVEN IN MY HEAD. That part I miss. Like my horny friends are all like "oh yeah, look at that ass." I'm like... dude wtf, why? And I haven't jacked off in forever. Wtf man I can't figure this out. Oh well.
- Later, David