(no subject)
I have a new motivation towards my health. I've spent the last couple weeks suffering horrific depression; the last few years, horrific muscle spasms. Richard and his teacher have been discussing herbal and medicinal methods through which to lower my stress, anxiety and physical pain. Hopefully, I'll also be able to clear my bacne, further increasing my happiness by removing a major source of self-consciousness.
I've began a regimen of Valerian root, a anxiolytic herb and sedative. I started last night. I woke up with a severe headache, and also woke up several times throughout the night. I read later that others have reported migraines and night terrors, although I don't remember the content of my dreams. We'll see if the adverse effects outweigh the positives. I did, however, feel less anxious than I usually would when waking up late for class and stumbling into the lecture five minutes late. I blame the sedative effects. This weekend I'll take two one night, and three the next, at the doc's suggestion, in order to jump start the muscle relaxing properties and begin regulating my sleep cycle. At the beginning of the week, I'm to begin taking another at breakfast and at lunch.
I just want to chill out. We'll see.
The doc thinks my acne is a psychosomatic symptom of my stress and anxiety. He's hoping [as am I] that if we can get rid of the mental issues, the acne will follow. After two months, if the valerian hasn't taken that effect, I'll begin a regular dose of beta carotene. Once my skin clears up, I'll be able to receive regular deep muscle massages to help work out the years of physical pain and stress.
I'm really desperate to end all this shit. I really hate my life most days. And not because I'm stuck in a bad situation, but just because I always, always feel like shit. Mentally and physically I'm a godamn wreck.
I'm also considering giving up caffeine. We'll see if my will power holds out on that one. I'll have to replace that with better regulation of my diet and more B vitamins.
I'll have herbal tea at work today.
I'm sleepy. Goodnight.
I've began a regimen of Valerian root, a anxiolytic herb and sedative. I started last night. I woke up with a severe headache, and also woke up several times throughout the night. I read later that others have reported migraines and night terrors, although I don't remember the content of my dreams. We'll see if the adverse effects outweigh the positives. I did, however, feel less anxious than I usually would when waking up late for class and stumbling into the lecture five minutes late. I blame the sedative effects. This weekend I'll take two one night, and three the next, at the doc's suggestion, in order to jump start the muscle relaxing properties and begin regulating my sleep cycle. At the beginning of the week, I'm to begin taking another at breakfast and at lunch.
I just want to chill out. We'll see.
The doc thinks my acne is a psychosomatic symptom of my stress and anxiety. He's hoping [as am I] that if we can get rid of the mental issues, the acne will follow. After two months, if the valerian hasn't taken that effect, I'll begin a regular dose of beta carotene. Once my skin clears up, I'll be able to receive regular deep muscle massages to help work out the years of physical pain and stress.
I'm really desperate to end all this shit. I really hate my life most days. And not because I'm stuck in a bad situation, but just because I always, always feel like shit. Mentally and physically I'm a godamn wreck.
I'm also considering giving up caffeine. We'll see if my will power holds out on that one. I'll have to replace that with better regulation of my diet and more B vitamins.
I'll have herbal tea at work today.
I'm sleepy. Goodnight.