(no subject)
I woke up so fucking angry today; maybe because I don't have my favorite pillow right now, or maybe because there is a lot of shit culminating that I don't want to deal with.
Tomorrow is prom night. I told myself from the beginning that I wouldn't put up with all the dramatic bullshit and over-complicated plans, so I dropped out of the group right off. I was really excited to be going alone with Spencer, but our relationship is so undefined and awkward. We have no communication. I know some things are on his mind and I tried to approach him about it, but he wouldn't talk. He's given me the clear impression that I blew it. Prom is going to suck.
I'm certain of at least one issue he's having [or had]. He can't relate to the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women, and it bothers him. He complains that when we were first interested in each other, I still talked about other female crushes I'd had. Just the same, any girls I spoke to just thought I was a fag.
Being queer is completely alienating sometimes. Neither gender can accept it. And most people just think its a joke, or a phase, or my desperate attempt at being gay. And thats all bullshit. I've been embracing my sexuality much more than I used to, and discovering new things about it. And for the first time, I wish I was straight.
[fuck it]
There's more to say, but now I just feel discouraged and don't feel like mentioning it. One battle at a time, I guess.
Tomorrow is prom night. I told myself from the beginning that I wouldn't put up with all the dramatic bullshit and over-complicated plans, so I dropped out of the group right off. I was really excited to be going alone with Spencer, but our relationship is so undefined and awkward. We have no communication. I know some things are on his mind and I tried to approach him about it, but he wouldn't talk. He's given me the clear impression that I blew it. Prom is going to suck.
I'm certain of at least one issue he's having [or had]. He can't relate to the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women, and it bothers him. He complains that when we were first interested in each other, I still talked about other female crushes I'd had. Just the same, any girls I spoke to just thought I was a fag.
Being queer is completely alienating sometimes. Neither gender can accept it. And most people just think its a joke, or a phase, or my desperate attempt at being gay. And thats all bullshit. I've been embracing my sexuality much more than I used to, and discovering new things about it. And for the first time, I wish I was straight.
[fuck it]
There's more to say, but now I just feel discouraged and don't feel like mentioning it. One battle at a time, I guess.