I've been vegan for almost two years. I'm a senior in college and I'm home for winter break. I'm really hoping that I won't have to move home after graduation, but with the economy as is, who knows
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My mom also respects my choice and although I don't respect her eating meat, I would rather have a good relationship than put distance between us by forcing my opinions on her/them. I'm only 19 and I've only been vegan for about 6 months, I have been considering ways to get them to reconsider their diets but nothing has come to me yet.
It doesn't sound like your dad is ever going to say "You know what, you're right, I'll stop eating meat" just by you talking to him about it when something bothers you i.e. when he's sitting their eating a hamburger. Maybe sit and brain storm some ways that he might reconsider his diet/lifestyle. I mean I don't know what you've tried so far, but everyone has different keys that sort of unlock their way of pre-set thinking.
iawtc. definitely avoid talking about veganism when others are eating/preparing non-vegan food. It never goes over well.
maybe you could ask him what it would take for him to eat less meat? If he's doing an atkins/low carb thing, you could try finding low GI/low carb/high protein non-animal foods that he could try introducing to his diet. And you could re-explain (possibly bring some sort of "proof" from a reliable source) the whole cholesterol thing.
I think converting the people in my life that haven't already been converted is pretty hopeless, especially my parents. I'm just to the point where I'd prefer it if they respect my now 'too' sensitive stomach and ask me to leave when they're going to have bacon. Gross. I think that's the only agreement we can ever come to, and it often requires me to leave the house for forty five minutes when all I want to do is lay on the couch and read or be online. I guess I just really don't know how to approach my parents with concerns about their health without it coming across as preachy.
I'm getting to the point where I can't even imagine thinking differently about diet 'choices' because I don't see nonhuman animals and their byproducts as food anymore.I feel exactly the same way, but omnis don't get it when I tell them that no, I do not crave meat/dairy/eggs. I don't see them as food anymore. I never sit there and think "man, I could go for a hamburger/steak/seafood stir fry right now. Just doesn't happen
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I know, it scares me a lot too. Especially because my dad was adopted and there isn't even family history to set him straight and it's all just kind of up in the air. Whenever I ask about if he's gone to the doctor recently, my mom becomes super defensive, in a "don't worry about it" or "drop it right now" kind of way. He's just so defensive about it that he doesn't interpret "want me to make you something healthy for dinner?" as trying to be helpful, he interprets it as me wanting to feed him icky food because it's better for the poor animals. I don't bring up "do you know what that steak is doing for your arteries?" ever, I can't even imagine how defensive that would make him when all of the subtle hints and conversations about nutrition have ended in argument.
It is always nice to read a rant of another vegan from Illinois. :P
I agree and can relate to how you think about all this and how it effects your parents (dad). But I think it is all just a waste of time. I mean, they are old, and they are who they are. Such a dietary change is clearly of no interest to them (or my parents for that matter). It is great that you make an effort though. Truly a wonderful human being and great daughter.
:) Thanks. Where are you from? I went vegan around the same time as one of my friends. Her parents eat vegetarian most of the time, even when she's not home. And when she's home, they eat vegan except for a little cheese on this or that. Maybe it's because they are from southern California and have always eaten a healthy diet anyway, unlike my family, where I grew up on frozen dinners and drive thrus. I wouldn't say it's hopeless, but I would with parents like mine!
Yeah see you have social support for your lifestyle. That is awesome. Having a friend along makes the journey much more easier. Kind of like people who look for a workout buddy for the gym, to help motivate them and keep them on task (set goals). And it also gives you something to talk about and plan (where to eat in the burbs/city).
Anyway.
Like you when I grew up my diet was semi-healthy...some fruit and veggies, but mostly meat and fast food. Soda. Bleh. Lots of sugar and high frutose corn syrup (nasty). Unlearning all those habits has been long overdue for me.
I grew up in Schaumburg, live in Elgin and for awhile my parents lived in Naperville or Aurora...near that Fermilab thing.
Yeah, I'm really lucky. I'm at a college that is very veg*n friendly and having my two best friends be vegan is really a blessing. I see just how horrible it can be when I'm away from other vegans and I'm stuck at home for a month. I think the only veggies I ate growing up were onions on hamburgers, tomato sauce, frozen peas and corn and, uhhhhh... ketchup. Absolutely disgusting. At least we're both on the right path now :) I can't even fathom eating that horribly ever again. I'm right by that fermilab thing! One of my vegan friends used to work there, in fact.
But... vegetables don't have cholesterol if they're fried in a veg-based fat... Look at peanut butter - it's chocked full of fat, and saturated at that. But no cholesterol because it's not animal-derived. Same thing goes for deep-fried stuff if it's from a veg-based fat. Of course, that says nothing about it not GIVING you high cholesterol because of all the junk you just consumed. ;)
Oops, I guess I should have been more specific. He insists that they do, but I know that they don't and I told him just that. Oil that comes from vegetables still comes from vegetables, hence, there is negligible cholesterol in veggies. It wound up in an email war, with me being unable to find any sites that didn't have a "vegan agenda" that said it. THEN, I found one somewhere and he finally believed me :)
When I meet someone I'll mention it, but once I've known someone for any length of time I usually won't mention it. They know my position, why bring it up again, especially if they don't make an issue of it. It's about peaceful and respectful relationships for me.
exactly. going on and on and pushing yr beliefs when someones not ready to accept them does more harm than good, IMHO. i don't bug my parents about what they eat, when they respect what i eat (i was given sauce with meat in it yesterday AGAIN though and did loudly proclaim there was an attempted poisoning going on though) but i do try to send them every article i find saying the health benefits of vegan/vegetarian diets. obviously, they wouldn't listen to stuff from 'known bias sources' like peta, but articles from like science daily, abc news, the american heart association, they have a much harder time writing off as just some 'crazy animal rights hippies'.
I agree with you. I don't like to push my beliefs any more than stating them (and defending myself when provoked), but when I'm used to having my own living space and then I come home and see dead bloody cow in the fridge and wake up to the nauseating smell of bacon and eat dinner to the nauseating smell of steak on the grill and watch my overweight father chowing down, it takes way more out of me not to say anything than it does to handle an argument and the consequences. I think forwarding health-based articles would be a good idea, but I'd be worried that he'd find it passive aggressive of me. I wonder how best to avoid that... hmmmm..
I guess I'm just argumentative, rather than peaceful, in nature. I don't often say things that will make people uncomfortable about their dietary choices, at least while they're eating. It just bothers me seeing a slaughtered turkey all prepared for my family's Christmas dinner with my dad carving it with a butcher knife. People who are otherwise really compassionate that I love just don't get why it bothers me. It also bothers me that my dad's overweight, doesn't exercise, and STILL believes in Atkins after all this time. It's a nightmare waiting to happen and every time I want to say something, it gets shot down because of my 'agenda.'
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It doesn't sound like your dad is ever going to say "You know what, you're right, I'll stop eating meat" just by you talking to him about it when something bothers you i.e. when he's sitting their eating a hamburger. Maybe sit and brain storm some ways that he might reconsider his diet/lifestyle. I mean I don't know what you've tried so far, but everyone has different keys that sort of unlock their way of pre-set thinking.
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maybe you could ask him what it would take for him to eat less meat? If he's doing an atkins/low carb thing, you could try finding low GI/low carb/high protein non-animal foods that he could try introducing to his diet. And you could re-explain (possibly bring some sort of "proof" from a reliable source) the whole cholesterol thing.
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I guess I just really don't know how to approach my parents with concerns about their health without it coming across as preachy.
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I agree and can relate to how you think about all this and how it effects your parents (dad). But I think it is all just a waste of time. I mean, they are old, and they are who they are. Such a dietary change is clearly of no interest to them (or my parents for that matter). It is great that you make an effort though. Truly a wonderful human being and great daughter.
*hugs*
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I went vegan around the same time as one of my friends. Her parents eat vegetarian most of the time, even when she's not home. And when she's home, they eat vegan except for a little cheese on this or that. Maybe it's because they are from southern California and have always eaten a healthy diet anyway, unlike my family, where I grew up on frozen dinners and drive thrus. I wouldn't say it's hopeless, but I would with parents like mine!
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Kind of like people who look for a workout buddy for the gym, to help motivate them and keep them on task (set goals). And it also gives you something to talk about and plan (where to eat in the burbs/city).
Anyway.
Like you when I grew up my diet was semi-healthy...some fruit and veggies, but mostly meat and fast food. Soda. Bleh. Lots of sugar and high frutose corn syrup (nasty). Unlearning all those habits has been long overdue for me.
I grew up in Schaumburg, live in Elgin and for awhile my parents lived in Naperville or Aurora...near that Fermilab thing.
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I think the only veggies I ate growing up were onions on hamburgers, tomato sauce, frozen peas and corn and, uhhhhh... ketchup. Absolutely disgusting. At least we're both on the right path now :) I can't even fathom eating that horribly ever again.
I'm right by that fermilab thing! One of my vegan friends used to work there, in fact.
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Look at peanut butter - it's chocked full of fat, and saturated at that. But no cholesterol because it's not animal-derived. Same thing goes for deep-fried stuff if it's from a veg-based fat.
Of course, that says nothing about it not GIVING you high cholesterol because of all the junk you just consumed. ;)
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going on and on and pushing yr beliefs when someones not ready to accept them does more harm than good, IMHO.
i don't bug my parents about what they eat, when they respect what i eat (i was given sauce with meat in it yesterday AGAIN though and did loudly proclaim there was an attempted poisoning going on though) but i do try to send them every article i find saying the health benefits of vegan/vegetarian diets. obviously, they wouldn't listen to stuff from 'known bias sources' like peta, but articles from like science daily, abc news, the american heart association, they have a much harder time writing off as just some 'crazy animal rights hippies'.
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