Dealing with omni hostile friends.

[iwillcomeagain]

Do any of you have friends that ever try to argue with you about veganism? You know the type, gets drunk and then wants to debate everything, wants to belittle your decision for being vegan, says humans evolved to eat meat. I know, I know. The argument is getting old. This isn't really a post to complain about this or ask for help refuting his very

Comments

[socraticomatic]

Personally, I honestly would not remain friends with someone who acted like that.

[socraticomatic]

Regarding the update:

I think that's a really good letter :)

[bucketofpuke]

I was at a bar once and got into a really, really heated debate with a friend of a friend. Some people I know give me shit about it, but for the most part they only joke about it.

Next time they give you shit, just say fuck it and talk to them about it. If you can get your hands on a few books, or are pretty knowledgeable about it anyhow, try going over it in your head or reading when you are just by yourself. If you have a mutual veggie/vegan friend, talk to them about it -- learning comes from all sorts of sources.

I take shit from my friends, but I know they are joking about it. If they were to actually get in my face and tell me that I'm less of a human, I would be really upset. You know them better than anyone here, so get as firm as possible with them when they want to debate with you. Maybe once you tell them off, so to speak, they'll leave you alone.

[bitspike]

"If you can get your hands on a few books . . ."

For some reason, when I read that I had the idea of carrying AR related pamphlets around with you if you think you may be at risk of being put into one of these situations.

"Why are you a vegan?"
"Look at these images. This is something you are directly responsible for. How can you live with that?"

or, to be a little nicer:

"Here, I just happen to have some information with me. You can take it away with you and read it at your leisure. If you have any questions I'd be happy to have a proper discussion with you sometime in a calmer location than this pub when you've been drinking and are looking for an argument."

[bizwac]

A friend has a nerd watch that he can put stuff onto via USB (pretty cool), and he said he has tortured animal pics/vids so that when people ask why he's vegetarian, he can show them his watch and that's that. Pretty cool imo.

[bitspike]

*wonders why he doesn't have one of these watches*

People could also get a copy of Earthlings and put it on their portable video players, too. Or, you know, something shorter and more specific =)

Still, I don't feel the need to get a portable video player yet. I don't even have a working mp3 player. I'm living so behind the rest of the world.

[bitspike]

Mod comment

[peaceandcarrots]

Or you could simply question their reasons for asking.

Why do you ask?
Does something about my decision bother you?
Does my veganism threaten you somehow?
etc

Maybe if you can get them to start thinking about WHY your veganism bothers/threatens them they will be one step closer to seeing that they are just reacting to the guilt they feel when your ethically based choices are juxtaposed with their own less thought out lifestyle.

[pqowlaks]

Why do you ask?
Does something about my decision bother you?
Does my veganism threaten you somehow?
etc

I am going to start saying stuff like this!

[iwillcomeagain]

I like that. Thank you. Next time they harass me about it, I'll respond with questions like that. I could just say that it is personal and something that I don't want to talk about also. Somehow, I don't think that would fly.

[playguitar]

The other night a guy I've been seeing for a while turned up drunk at my house and started demanding I make him a sandwich - "not with any of that rabbit food crap, I eat 'real' food". Then tried to tell me I was a hypocrite because if I was stuck on a desert island and the only way to survive was to eat a cow, I would probably do it (this is the most stupid criticism I have had to date). I should have kicked him out of the house.
People need to know how offensive they are being when they get in your face about being vegan. Most of the time I just ask the person if they actually want to be critising me for having respect for living, sentient beings, and if they don't shut up I stop talking to them. Not worth it.

[socraticomatic]

wow. Who DOES that?

[deerfold]

I usually answer the "desert island" one with - "I really don't know how I'd act in that situation - but in my x years of being vegan it hasn't come up so far so I've managed to not need to eat any animal products".

[cannibalcountry]

The other thing that is completely LAME about that debate is that most of my meat-eating friends would struggle with killing and preparing their meat just as much as I would... So it's a hypocritical question to ask in the first place...

[metonyms]

I'm totally comfortable with talking things through with a friend who's genuinely interested, but I don't argue with anyone who just feels like dragging veganism through the coals. It sounds like that's what your friends are doing.

There's no miracle answer to shut an obnoxious omnivore up and completely shake up their reality, especially when they're drunk :)

[iwillcomeagain]

You're right. He was bashing my decision and trying to win a debate over whether being vegan was useful or not. When asked if I thought it make a difference, I responded that, "I didn't become vegan because I thought that just because one person stopped using animal products, that the world would change. I became vegan because I don't support animal cruelty and why would someone support something they don't agree with."