Dairy Madness
Well, it has finally happened. I believe I've developed a sort of allergy to dairy. It's quite common for vegetarians/vegans to become intolerant of dairy products long after they stop consuming them. My wife (an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian) had made a pasta salad the other day and it had mayonaisse in it. At first I was hesitant, but decided to try some anyway, mainly because she made it as part of my Fathers Day meal). It's only a little mayo, what the worst that could possibly happen, right?
The ensuing effects cannot be properly conveyed with human language, so I will attempt to sum up the experience thusly:
"Aarrrrgggghh!!! *choke* *explosive diarrhea* GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *sniffle* *explosive diarrhea* *sneeze* AAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA *for the love of god no not again* BAAAHHHHHH-AARRRRGGHH *gag* *explosive diarrhea* *twitch* AARRGH *the world is spinnning* *explosive diarrhea* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.........."
The inside of my nostrils were raw as was the back of my throat. I had a headache. My stomach was tied tightly in knots, and of course, the aforementioned explosive diarrhea.
Dairy sucks, and from this day foreward I vow never to touch the stuff again no matter who makes it for whatever reason. Lesson learned.
The ensuing effects cannot be properly conveyed with human language, so I will attempt to sum up the experience thusly:
"Aarrrrgggghh!!! *choke* *explosive diarrhea* GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *sniffle* *explosive diarrhea* *sneeze* AAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA *for the love of god no not again* BAAAHHHHHH-AARRRRGGHH *gag* *explosive diarrhea* *twitch* AARRGH *the world is spinnning* *explosive diarrhea* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.........."
The inside of my nostrils were raw as was the back of my throat. I had a headache. My stomach was tied tightly in knots, and of course, the aforementioned explosive diarrhea.
Dairy sucks, and from this day foreward I vow never to touch the stuff again no matter who makes it for whatever reason. Lesson learned.