Iron Man fic: i'll make a splash on the hudson, that's how i will arrive--[Tony and Pepper, PG]
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Happy is not very happy.
“I’m sorry, Mr Stark,” he says, twisting around with a glum expression on his face. “We ain’t getting out of this gridlock in any kind of a hurry.”
“That’s cool,” Tony says cheerfully. He crosses his arms and shuts his eyes, burrowing himself deeper into the leather upholstery. “I can get some sleep.”
Pepper checks her watch. “No, Tony, you cannot get some sleep,” she says in the maddeningly patient tones of one dealing with the mentally deficient, craning to look out the car window. “You slept on the flight in, and we have a meeting with the board of directors for East Coast operations in twenty minutes.”
“We can reschedule.”
“I’ve already had to reschedule. Twice, actually. You remember, we were supposed to be in New York yesterday afternoon, but you decided that the AI interfacing on the suit needed adjusting-ah, see, that twitch? That twitch means that you do remember.” Pepper gives a recumbent Tony that particular look which is both exasperated and affectionate. “You don’t know these people well enough to be able to afford making them mad. Yet.”
Tony sighs, and opens one eye. “Happy.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s no chance that at any point in time, I had a turbo warp drive or something installed on this car, is there?”
“Sorry, boss.”
“Well, that’s no good at all. We’ll have to get Reed Richards in to make some adjustments, seeing as I’m apparently not allowed to set foot in a shop for the rest of my life.” Tony sits up straight and stretches, scruffing a hand through his thick dark hair. “Can we take the subway?”
Pepper takes one glance at Tony’s face and shakes her head. “No,” she says firmly. “Absolutely not.”
“Okay, Pepper? You? Are officially no fun whatsoever.” Tony opens the door and walks right out in traffic; aghast, Pepper stares at him. He gestures for her to follow. “It’s only a few blocks from here. Step lively, Miss Potts, we don’t have all day. See you later, Happy.”
Tugging on her gloves, Pepper takes Tony’s hand and struggles out of the car. There is a flurry of noise around them as taxis honk indignantly. “You know what, Pepper,” Tony says, breath puffing out white, “I should have put my foot down. Base the Avengers in New York, Fury says. It’s freaking cold in New York. Los Angeles would’ve been better. Or Miami. I think I’d like Miami.”
Pepper just manages to avoid a manhole cover. Tony makes no concession to her stiletto-heeled boots and draws her on relentlessly, weaving his way through the bumper-to-bumper traffic. “I agree,” she shouts over the racket. “I think you’d like Miami. Right now, I think I’d like Miami.”
“Watch your step, Pepper,” Tony says as she steps up onto the sidewalk behind him. He puts his hands on her shoulders and regards her gravely. “Now. I have an extremely serious question to ask of you. Please, answer truthfully, I can take the truth from you, we have that sort of rapport, that profound psychic connection-how do I look?”
Truth be told, in his heavy grey overcoat and black leather gloves, Tony looks more dignified than she’s ever seen him, and much older. She can see the glints of silver at his temples now, the deep laugh lines at his eyes-teasingly, he pulls the corners of his mouth down in a mock-sober expression.
“Very New York, Mr Stark,” she says demurely.
“Well, that’s what I was going for, so, you know, I’m glad to hear you say that. But I have to tell you, Miss Potts, I see that you’re trying not to smile right now, and while that’s a good effort-no, really, it’s very good!-I’m just asking you to remember that people in New York? Don’t smile at all. Like, ever. Maybe at, I don’t know, birthdays or weddings or something, but it’s more of a grimace.” He demonstrates. “I know you’re more of a West Coast gal, with your laughing, and your niceness, but as your boss, I just have to say…try not to embarrass me? Okay? You’re a doll.”
He winks at her and sets off down the sidewalk, hands deep in his pockets. Pepper hurries after him, pulling out her Blackberry. It’s hard to type with frozen, gloved fingers and to manoeuvre through the crowd at the same time, but she manages it with a sort of skipping shuffle. She wouldn’t admit it, but this city makes her feel slightly claustrophobic, with its packed streets and towering buildings-she draws her elbows in closer to herself as Tony barrels on, a sort of Moses parting an ocean of people, getting a few interested stares along the way.
“Okay, Tony, Nick Fury called last night while you were in your shop to tell me that you’re booked in with someone named-” Pepper checks her notes. “Dr Leonard Samson? Apparently he’s a psychiatrist who specialises in superheroes. I couldn’t find too much information on him-excuse me, ma’am, sorry-but he was in the news during the whole debacle with Bruce Banner and the big, um, Hulky thingy. With the-face. You remember. Fury wants a mental evaluation done on everyone on the team.”
Tony scowls. “A psychiatrist who specialises in superheroes? How is that even a job? Listen, I can do my own psychiatric assessment right now. I’m insane. We’re all insane. We dress up in costumes and run around trying to save the world. As a hobby. Am I right? We’re all suicidal. And probably, I don’t know, have oedipal complexes, or something. Don’t waste my time with that crap, Pep.”
“Well, if that’s how you feel, I’m afraid you’re going to have to tell General Fury yourself. You have a meeting with him in two hours.”
Tony shrugs his shoulders expressively, striding onwards.
“So,” she continues, “your appointment with Dr Samson is at four, and then you’re scheduled for dinner at seven with Janet Van Dyne at Masa. She wants to discuss her vision for the team-”
“Do you think I’m afraid of Fury? Because if you do, Pepper, I will set you straight right now.”
“-and I know you’re not big fan of the idea of matching uniforms but at least hear her out. She’s a big influence in the superhero community and New York society-WASPy family, you know-no pun intended. So just play nice.”
Tony’s grin is very wide and very white. “And try not to sleep with her?”
Pepper pockets her Blackberry. She’s practically jogging to keep up with him now. “Well, I wasn’t going to say it,” she says, thrusting her hands into her pockets and tucking her chin deep into her scarf. “But apparently Hank Pym’s got a bit of a temper, and sleeping with his wife might be a bit counterproductive if you’re still trying to get him to join the team.”
“Despite what you may think of me, and listen, I know all evidence is to the contrary, but I have an excellent instinct for self-preservation. Besides, I think I’ve got a thing with Natasha Romanova tonight. Are you cold? You look cold. Your face is pink, it’s very cute.”
“You have a thing. With the Black Widow,” Pepper repeats.
“Yes, a thing. Your face is going all judgemental again, Pepper, it’s going to freeze that way and then where will we be? I promise, the thing they say about her last five boyfriends is completely untrue. Also, she is a very attractive lady. Redhead. You know how I feel about redheads. And she does this amazing thing with her-what did I just say about the judging?”
“I know you can take care of yourself, and your love life is-” Pepper pauses, lifts one eyebrow, and continues-“not at all an area I want to interfere with, but you might want to watch your back. It’s just a suggestion.”
“Duly noted,” Tony says, and nudges her. “We’re here.”
Pepper stops short and blinks. “Wait, what?” she says, and Tony points up.
Pepper squints up into the grey sky as best she can with her shoulders hunched up around her ears. Stark Tower-newly rechristened as the Avengers Tower-is sleek and gleaming silver, and positively dwarfs every other building in the area. It’s one of the most ostentatious pieces of architecture she’s ever seen. “Very impressive, Mr Stark,” she says, and means it.
Tony looks about as close to serenely happy as he can get. “I don’t want to hear anything about phallic symbolism right now, Miss Potts,” he says, clasping his arms behind his back. “Just let me bask for a minute. Just a few seconds. Of basking. It’s totally cooler than the Baxter Building, right?”
“Oh, totally,” Pepper says. “But can you bask inside? In your meeting? I’m sure the view is even more impressive from all the way up there. Inside. In your meeting.”
“Nag, nag, woman,” Tony says, but starts toward the doors. “I’m a superhero, I’ll have you know.”
Pepper shakes her head. “I know, Tony,” she says, and follows.