Fic Post: Law and Order Special Victims Unit - Shadowed Superhero: Chapter 3
Series: Shadowed Superhero
Chapter 3: Internal Affairs
Author: vegawriters
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Pairing: Olivia/Alex; Elliot/Olivia; Elliot/Kathy
Genre: Case file/angst/romance
Timeframe: Post Zebras - Early Season 11
Rating: Adult
A/N: Many many thank you to my betas. They know this show better than I do. (2) This is NOT a crossover, but for Silk Stalkings fans, you should recognize one of the characters.
Disclaimer: If Law and Order BELONGED to me, you think I’d be writing fic? So no. Dick Wolf and his crew own it all, I am just taking Elliot, Olivia, Fin, and others, out to play. Now, if Mr. Wolf is looking for someone to write his L&O novel tie-ins … I’m totally there. Just sayin.
Summary: A file landed in her lap. Nervous, she flipped it open, expecting to see some long-lens shot of her and Alex locked in some public display of affection and as a result, they thought because they thought she was gay, she couldn’t be objective. Instead, the blood drained from her body and shaking, she stared at the image of the officer in front of her.
“She screamed, Liv.” He stared at the coffee mug in his hands. They’d needed a break and pacing the squad room floor made no sense so she’d poured them both coffee and they’d headed upstairs to the roof, to their spot. Olivia waited, sitting next to him on the cool cement platform, knowing he would work his issues out in his own time. Right now, he just needed her there to listen. “She screamed like I’d been the one to kill him and she wanted to know why we hadn’t caught him yet and … God.” Now she did touch him. Gently. Her hand on his back. “She screamed.”
“Her world is falling apart, El. She doesn’t know up from down right now.” For a brief moment, Olivia thought about pulling him back to the case, asking what she’d said and if they could use any part of her statement. But that was for downstairs. Right now, up here on the roof, he needed her there as a friend, not a cop. “If you need to take some time, go home, be with her, I understand. We’ve got a newbie paper pusher who needs some breaking in and if there’s something that comes up, I can page you.”
“No,” he looked over and smiled and she hated herself for the way her heart fluttered. His world was falling apart and she wanted to kiss him. She’d spent the night with Alex and all she wanted to do was kiss him. Really, her mind confused her sometimes. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe all she wanted was the unattainable. Alex was right there in front of her, wanting to start over, and here she was, on the roof with Elliot. “Thanks, though. I appreciate it. I need to work on this as much as Lizzie needs me to work on it. Anyway, we have to figure things out before IA gets us dirty.”
She wasn’t expecting him to lift his fingers to brush the hair out of her face but she leaned into the touch. He fingered the scab left over from the plate accident of the other night and shook his head. “What is it, El?” She whispered.
“I don’t deserve you sitting here, you know. You here or Kathy at home. I’m a selfish sonofabitch who demands more than he gives and yet here you are. Why?”
She lifted her free hand to his chest, her fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt, and wondered for a minute where the self-control had gone. It hadn’t been easy these past few years, watching him with his family and her trying so hard to find any kind of solid ground in her life. But they were finally back on track. Was this the reason for both of their sudden, extra affection? “Do you really have to ask, Elliot?”
“Part of me does.” His hand still hadn’t moved from her cheek and she met the kiss halfway.
It had been years, but nothing had changed. Not the way his mouth knew hers or the way his hand slid through her hair to tangle at the base of her neck. Not the way his tongue asked for entrance and then took over the entire kiss. Nothing. Nothing had changed. Not her body’s reaction to his proximity or how he pushed slightly against her; stability and risk in one movement.
No. She pulled back.
Things had changed. He was married. He had Eli. And she and Alex were again dancing around each other. She shook her head, “Elliot.”
“I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t know what …” he shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I was right there with you.” Olivia looked back at her coffee mug. “And I wanted it to go farther. But I can’t …” she took a deep, shaking breath. “I don’t want to be the other woman, Elliot. Even if …” she cut him off before he could argue, “I’ve been exactly that since we were partnered together. I respect myself too much. I respect you too much. I respect Kathy … even if it kills me sometimes that you two are back together.” She was rambling and she knew it and her defenses meant nothing to him.
“Liv …” his voice hitched and she waited for him to put his thoughts together. “I just wish I understood how I feel right now. I do know that I’m not in love with Kathy anymore.”
“You haven’t been in love with her for a long, long time, Elliot. You went back to her because she was pregnant. If she hadn’t been, you never would have actually moved home, even if you were talking about it. It doesn’t mean you could live with yourself if we did … what kisses like that usually turn in to for us. I won’t do that to you. As much as I miss you, I won’t do it to you.” But she sighed. The words felt hollow and his hand was on her back again and she was turning to face him, coffee mug set aside and her hands resting on his hips. “We shouldn’t-“
“Let me make my own choices, Olivia.” He kissed her again.
This time she didn’t pull back. The feel of his lips on hers was so familiar and somehow so much more settling than anything she felt with Alex. His hand was halfway up the back of her shirt and she was in desperate need of a panty change when his cell phone vibrated. With a laugh, he stepped back and took a breath and checked the text message.
“What is it?”
“Cragen needs us.” He sighed and looked at her. “Olivia, I’m not sorry about what just happened. I don’t know what it all means, but I’m not sorry.”
“Cragen needs us,” she repeated softly. “We’ll talk about the rest later.” Olivia grabbed her abandoned coffee mug and followed Elliot down the stairs while her inner teenager laughed and mocked her.
***
The suit in Cragen’s office told them everything they needed to know about why their captain so desperately needed their presence. Holding back the huff, Olivia slid into a chair and stared at the IAB rat. She really hated these guys. “What’s up?”
“Your investigation of the Kellen Ridgeland rape case.”
“It’s totally by the book,” Elliot piped up from his perch in the corner. “In fact, the only thing keeping us from getting anything done is you and the Union guys. We could get a rapist off the streets, possibly a killer, if you’d let us talk to the remaining officers we need to talk to.”
“That’s the problem.” Cragen looked at them. “They’re worried you both may be too close to this investigation.”
“Why?”
“Detective Stabler, is it true that your daughter, Elizabeth, is having a romantic relationship with the victim?”
“Yes. But she wasn’t the one who was raped. The rules don’t apply.”
Olivia pressed her fingers tightly to the bridge of her nose. What was next?
“As for you, Detective Benson, your professionalism and lack of ability to separate yourself from this case may already be called into question.”
“Me, why me?” Her mind raced. She’d investigated countless cases of rape or murder as related to sexual orientation and her professionalism had never been an issue. No one knew, except Elliot and Alex and maybe Fin. Yeah, she had a feeling Fin knew but thank god for his discretion.
A file landed in her lap. Nervous, she flipped it open, expecting to see some long-lens shot of her and Alex locked in some public display of affection and as a result, they thought because they thought she was supposedly gay, she couldn’t be objective. Instead, the blood drained from her body and shaking, she stared at the image of the officer in front of her.
“Liv?”
The concern in Elliot’s voice nearly did her in, but her ability to process anything was suddenly so internalized that she couldn’t respond. Anderson. Phillip Anderson. She knew where she knew the name now. How many times in her days at Sealview had he bent her over a table, pressing into her while she struggled and he mocked her?
“You want a little of this, baby girl? Maybe I’ll get you and Lilly over there to go at it for me. Whoever gives it up first gets an extra hour of sleep in the morning.”
She trembled.
“What, baby girl? What’s got you all nervous? You want something to be scared of, I’ll give you to someone who will make you scream.”
“Olivia?”
“What’s he doing working for NYPD?” She glanced up at the IA rat. “What the hell is he doing with a badge and a gun?”
“He passed his background and his physical qualifiers.”
“He’s complacent in rape and sexual assault.”
“None of which was proven, let alone charged, Detective Benson. But you can see how it would look if it was you who suddenly started throwing your weight around.”
“With all due respect,” she said, the sarcasm dripping from her, “if he was cleared of all charges from his time at Sealview, then me ‘throwing my weight around’ shouldn’t be an issue. But the more you cover for this officer, the more it proves to me that you know something even we don’t and that IA is going to help to keep an rapist and a murderer on the street. So,” she stood up, somehow finding her center, “you can either let me do my job or you can find yourselves on the end of a subpoena from the DA’s office to release these files. It’s up to you.”
She felt, more than heard, Elliot’s proud snort of approval. The IA cretin for his part didn’t quite know what to say. She waited, still clinging to the file they’d handed her, determined to not lose this game of chicken. Finally, he nodded. “Okay.” He relented. “But, you let us know if you’re going to make an arrest. We need to make sure this is by the book.”
“Fair enough.” She waited until the suit had stormed from Cragen’s office before collapsing back onto the chair, her hands cramping from holding the file so tightly. Her breath caught and she closed her eyes, trying to get her heartbeat under control.
“You all right, Olivia?”
She nodded, the gentle voice of her captain grounding her. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“You going to be able to handle this?”
“Yeah.” She took another breath and finally found herself calming down. “It was just a surprise, that’s all.”
“All right. So go catch yourselves a rapist.”
***
“You want to tell me what that’s all about?” Elliot watched her out of the corner of his eye and she shivered under the scrutiny. “I mean, it’s clear he has history with you at Sealview but you look like you just watched …”
“He was part of it, okay, Elliot? My time at the prison was one guard after another molesting me. It was only Harris that took it further.” She closed her eyes. God she needed a shower. Badly. A shower and maybe to scour her body with razor wire. His hands were all over her again, his half hard cock pressing against her while he frisked her.
“Let’s see what you got under that jumpsuit baby girl.”
Elliot’s hand closed over her knee and she jumped and he pulled back, guilt pouring from him. “Sorry.”
“I didn’t mean …” she whimpered a bit and stared out the window of the sedan. Talking about it was supposed to make it better, but what was she supposed to say? Dealing with what Harris had done to her, how he’d overpowered her and forced her had been enough. Finally erasing the “bite me and you’re dead” loop from her brain had taken over a year. Now she had Anderson, his smirking “Baby girl” in her mind, pressing against her, taunting her. She took a breath. “He … he was one of the worst when I was undercover, El. But proving anything was impossible. My word against his and really we were after Harris.”
“You ever going to tell me what Harris did to you?”
“You’ve read the case report.”
“Not what was squandered away by his union rep.”
“Someday, Elliot. I promise.”
“Okay.” He pointed to the squad car parked under the bridge in front of them. “That’s them. You ready for this?”
“As I’ll ever be.” She sighed and undid her seat belt. “Let’s do it.”
***
“Well, well. Hello, Kat. Oh, I’m sorry. It’s Detective Benson, right? I can’t be sure.”
Elliot swallowed his gut reaction. Pushing a fellow officer up against his squad car while his partner was witness was sure to get any of their notes thrown out. But he did step protectively in front of Olivia. That she didn’t roll her eyes and step away from him told him more than anything she could have voiced out loud. “We need to talk to you about what happened at the HHS protest the other night.”
“Not much to talk about. Some of the kids got rowdy and the ones we could, we rounded up and let cool their heels overnight in central booking.”
“Were there any problems?”
“Not really. Most of them were teenagers so they haven’t learned to fight back yet.”
“Did you pick anyone up?”
Anderson looked back at his partner and then at Olivia, who still hadn’t spoken a word. He smirked and shrugged. “No. After all, there would be a record if I had, wouldn’t there.”
“We have a witness who says otherwise, Anderson.”
“Your witness is a teenage kid who probably wants to find a way to prove to mom and dad that she wasn’t out whoring around all night.”
Elliot jumped in when Olivia’s jaw tightened. “You know, these teenage kids are pretty good kids. We’ve talked to a bunch of them and we have witness statements that put one of them in your squad car after security broke up the protest.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Anderson still hadn’t taken his eyes off Olivia.
Olivia finally spoke up. “Come on, Anderson. You mean you don’t want to brag about what you did to that little girl. We all know how you love to brag.”
The distant tone in her voice turned Elliot’s blood cold. What had this bastard done to her? “Don’t make us come back and arrest you. Come on down, stand in a lineup, clear yourself.”
But Anderson snorted. “Talk to my union rep.”
“Okay,” Olivia was already storming away. “We’ll see you soon.”
***
Alex looked up at the knock on her door. “Yeah?” She smiled at the familiar face and waved her inside. “What’s up, Liv?” They hadn’t seen each other since the other night. Hadn’t spoken beyond a long game of phone tag that was more about open cases than it was their relationship. She had to smile. It was how they’d started off the first time around. But Olivia looked tired and nervous and the smile fell from her face when she saw the red-rimmed eyes of her former lover. “What is it, Sweetie?”
Olivia shook her head. “I need some advice.”
“Okay, what’s at issue?”
“I have a sneaking feeling that IAB is looking into my private life to see if it determines how I solve my cases.”
“What is the basis for this assumption?”
Olivia shrugged. “I could just be paranoid. But they’re nosing around right now about the Kellen Ridgeland case as though they have something. They’re covering something up. It’s a hunch, but I trust my hunches.”
“So do I. So you think they’ll be using your sexuality to exploit you?”
‘Yeah. So, what can you tell me?”
“Well,” Alex shrugged. “If they have anything on you and Elliot, you’re probably in hot water. But since you ended it and if it never really affected your working relationship then you could probably skate by with a slap on the wrists and a mark in your mutual jackets. Especially,” Alex stared at her, “if you two haven’t picked up where you left off.”
“We haven’t.” She left the “yet” off of the sentence.
“Who else in the department have you had a physical relationship with?”
“You and Brian Cassidy.”
“Well, Brian is a non-issue. The two of you had a one-night stand and although he eventually left the department, it wasn’t as a result of your non-relationship. As for your relationship with me…” Alex grinned devilishly.
Olivia tried to laugh, but she was feeling excessively nervous. “It’s IAB, Alex. They’re the CIA of police organizations. A shadow government that sweeps what it wants to under the rug and the rest they air out to dry and use as examples. And you know as well as I do that gay cops get the brunt of it and I think this is the first time they’ve ever actually faced bisexuality in the department dirty laundry. Semen or vaginal discharge they can handle. But god forbid it be both.
And it doesn’t help that three of my lovers have been part of my department. So much for my ‘I don’t sleep with co-workers’ rule.”
“You used that on Cassidy to shut up his puppy dog like stalking of you.”
“He’s a sweet kid. And, you just said that I hadn’t done anything to jeopardize my job. Now what about you and me?”
“You don’t think I checked into the legalities of what we’re doing before I seduced you into my bed?”
Olivia threw her head back and laughed. “You actually combed through the manual to make sure that you could legally fuck me?”
“Oh yes, yes I did.”
Olivia giggled. “And what did you find, counselor?”
“That if I want to cook a fellow detective dinner and then get her naked on my living room carpet, there is nothing to stop us because we are not technically partners. As long as a relationship within the department does not affect the happenings of a case, then we can fuck like bunnies on the captain’s desk if we want.”
Olivia laughed and shook her head. “Tell me it actually says that in the manual. Please.”
Alex grinned but her eyes were solemn. “I just don’t want your list of lovers flaunted in front of the Morris Commission, Via. God, they’ll …”
“They’ll paint me as an out of control whore that sleeps with anything that moves.”
“Via …”
“It’s okay, Lex. It’s what my GOAL rep said this morning when I talked to her. The commission is made up of old men who haven’t seen action on the streets or with their wives in decades. They still think that gay officers should be under a don’t ask, don’t tell rule and they love the fact that in the state of New York, there still isn’t a firing statue. They’ll find something to get me on and I’ll be lucky to get a job chasing maverick moose killers in Alaska.”
“You’re clean, Via. You’re clean. Your cases are clean and your arrests are good and the complaints in your jacket come from doped up witnesses too fucked up to remember their names. You’re a good cop and people respect you and you have the highest arrest rate in the department. And IAB isn’t after you or even after sexuality right now. They’re trying to cover their asses because they hired Phillip Anderson and we won’t let them get away with it.
“How do you know what this is about?”
Alex held up the file she’d been pouring over. “He was part of the take down you and Fin led at Sealview. Very impressive.”
Olivia shook her head. It was the official file. Not the one with the truth, with her statement about Harris and Anderson and the others. She ran her hands through her hair, not sure if she wanted to bring it up or not. The truth. What had happened at Sealview. She couldn’t. It wasn’t relevant. Not beyond what Anderson had said and done and his comments were nothing more than the usual harassment heaped on suspects by officers. Alex didn’t need to know. “Alex, you …”
“I what?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.” She couldn’t go into it. She couldn’t reveal this weakness to Alex. She couldn’t let her know. What would Alex think of her? “Um, I’ll see you later.”
“Liv, talk to me.”
Unbidden, tears flooded Olivia’s eyes and it took a few deep breaths before she could speak again. “I can’t, Alex. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“What would get me in trouble?”
“The records are sealed.”
“I’ll unseal them. What happened? Olivia?”
“I can’t, Alex. Thanks for the information. I’ll see you later.” She turned on her heel and fled.
***
“Have you issued an arrest warrant for Phillip Anderson?”
Alex glanced up at her boss and pulled her glasses off her face. Suddenly, she had a headache. “Yes.”
“I wish you hadn’t.”
“He raped a young girl under cloak of authority. When confronted by Benson and Stabler, he was defiant and argumentative. It’s more than enough for a lineup.”
“Don’t let your detectives file on the Anderson rape case.”
Alex frowned. “Why not?”
“Because they are too close to it. There is too much of a conflict of interest.”
“Why? What’s going on? Why am I being blocked at every turn on this thing? IAB, the Unions, even you. Why is One PP covering its ass like this?”
“Because they screwed up and they’re more worried about covering that up than arresting a rapist.”
A file landed on her desk. She glanced at the Confidential scrawled across the top. “This is ...”
“Two years ago, Detective Benson went undercover at Sealview’s correctional facility. There were some problems with the technicalities of her investigation - nothing so much she did but there were failures on the part of the department to make sure what she found would stick. What happened to her could not be used in court.”
“What do you mean what happened?”
“Read this file, Alex. If Benson and Stabler do pursue the Anderson case, there will be an evidentiary hearing to establish conflict of interest and you deserve better than finding out the truth on the witness stand.”
“What happened to her?” Alex was out of her chair and staring her boss down. “What happened?” Why hadn’t she been there?
“Her statements are in the file. My understanding is that there is actually more and it was kept off the record by the corrections union. But someone knows and they’re going to be asking some hard questions. Get ready. And get ready to be called to the stand.”
“Why me?”
“Because the wrong people know about your personal relationship with Detective Benson.”
“We don’t have a personal relationship.”
“But you did. And,” he handed over a manila envelope. “This came this morning.”
Shaking, Alex pulled a photograph out of the envelope. Grainy footage of Olivia standing at her window, pulling the shades down and Alex behind her, arms around her, whispering into her ear. “Someone followed us last night?”
“Apparently. Look, Alex, I could care less who you are sleeping with. But it does pertain to the case. I’m not going to pull you, but you need to watch your back and be ready to answer hard questions.”
“This is not the first case Olivia Benson has investigated that deals with lesbian sexuality.”
“No, but it is the first one where her suspect is also her perp.”
The blood drained from Alex’s body as her suspicions were confirmed. “He …”
“There’s no evidence to support it. Read the file, Alex. And maybe it’s time you really talked to Benson.”
“Yeah …” She didn’t hear her boss leave her office. She didn’t hear the door close or her pager beep with the message that they’d arrested Anderson. Shaking, she flipped open the file and stared at the big red “Confidential” stamped on the first page. Worrying her lip between her teeth, she flipped the page and came face to face with Olivia’s picture, the same one on her ID badge. Benson, Olivia. Detective level 1, Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Precinct 16. She pulled the picture out and set it aside. Underneath was her CV - the basics of her education, grades at the academy, and rise through the ranks. Below that, commendations and annotations to letters in her personal file from victims and families whom she had made a special impact on. Below that, a cursory list of complaints filed and suspensions leveled. She stared at one, confused. One month suspension without pay and permanent mark in jacket. Must remain free of complaints for one year or will lose badge. See personnel file for details. Case file 1233467-B; Simon Marsden. What had she missed while she was away? The next page gave a detailed summary of her request to go undercover at Sealview: her suspicions and evidence and witness statements to back up her theories. The approval from the department, signed by Cragen. Detectives Benson and Tutuola to go undercover together to investigate Corrections Officers for sexual assault. Alex’s breath started coming in shorter gasps.
Sexual assault.
She flipped to the next page. A familiar form signed with Olivia’s familiar handwriting. Narrative: Following the uprising in the prison mess, Officer Harris cuffed me and took me to the basement. Assuming he was taking me to solitary confinement, I did not fight. In the basement, he pushed me onto a mattress. Alex had to stop reading. No. God. No. Her hands shook, her body quaked. No. No. No. At that point I fought back and was able to hide behind a pile of boxes. When Harris caught up to me, he cuffed me to the door and exposed himself. At that time, Detective Tutuola came into the basement and arrested Harris. No. No. No. Alex knew Olivia. She knew there was more to this statement than what she had put out there.
Her Olivia. Raped. Sexually assaulted. Forced against her will to submit.
Other officers involved with sexual control at the correctional facility include Phillip Anderson, Matthew Decker, and Christopher Buttars. Evidence and statements provided on page two.
Her phone beeped again. Alex grabbed it and stared at the message. Kellen Ridgeland has identified Phillip Anderson. We’ve arrested and charged him. Meet us at booking.
Shaking, Alex rose to her feet, grabbed her bag, and headed out. She needed to talk to Olivia. Now.
TBC …
Chapter 3: Internal Affairs
Author: vegawriters
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Pairing: Olivia/Alex; Elliot/Olivia; Elliot/Kathy
Genre: Case file/angst/romance
Timeframe: Post Zebras - Early Season 11
Rating: Adult
A/N: Many many thank you to my betas. They know this show better than I do. (2) This is NOT a crossover, but for Silk Stalkings fans, you should recognize one of the characters.
Disclaimer: If Law and Order BELONGED to me, you think I’d be writing fic? So no. Dick Wolf and his crew own it all, I am just taking Elliot, Olivia, Fin, and others, out to play. Now, if Mr. Wolf is looking for someone to write his L&O novel tie-ins … I’m totally there. Just sayin.
Summary: A file landed in her lap. Nervous, she flipped it open, expecting to see some long-lens shot of her and Alex locked in some public display of affection and as a result, they thought because they thought she was gay, she couldn’t be objective. Instead, the blood drained from her body and shaking, she stared at the image of the officer in front of her.
“She screamed, Liv.” He stared at the coffee mug in his hands. They’d needed a break and pacing the squad room floor made no sense so she’d poured them both coffee and they’d headed upstairs to the roof, to their spot. Olivia waited, sitting next to him on the cool cement platform, knowing he would work his issues out in his own time. Right now, he just needed her there to listen. “She screamed like I’d been the one to kill him and she wanted to know why we hadn’t caught him yet and … God.” Now she did touch him. Gently. Her hand on his back. “She screamed.”
“Her world is falling apart, El. She doesn’t know up from down right now.” For a brief moment, Olivia thought about pulling him back to the case, asking what she’d said and if they could use any part of her statement. But that was for downstairs. Right now, up here on the roof, he needed her there as a friend, not a cop. “If you need to take some time, go home, be with her, I understand. We’ve got a newbie paper pusher who needs some breaking in and if there’s something that comes up, I can page you.”
“No,” he looked over and smiled and she hated herself for the way her heart fluttered. His world was falling apart and she wanted to kiss him. She’d spent the night with Alex and all she wanted to do was kiss him. Really, her mind confused her sometimes. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe all she wanted was the unattainable. Alex was right there in front of her, wanting to start over, and here she was, on the roof with Elliot. “Thanks, though. I appreciate it. I need to work on this as much as Lizzie needs me to work on it. Anyway, we have to figure things out before IA gets us dirty.”
She wasn’t expecting him to lift his fingers to brush the hair out of her face but she leaned into the touch. He fingered the scab left over from the plate accident of the other night and shook his head. “What is it, El?” She whispered.
“I don’t deserve you sitting here, you know. You here or Kathy at home. I’m a selfish sonofabitch who demands more than he gives and yet here you are. Why?”
She lifted her free hand to his chest, her fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt, and wondered for a minute where the self-control had gone. It hadn’t been easy these past few years, watching him with his family and her trying so hard to find any kind of solid ground in her life. But they were finally back on track. Was this the reason for both of their sudden, extra affection? “Do you really have to ask, Elliot?”
“Part of me does.” His hand still hadn’t moved from her cheek and she met the kiss halfway.
It had been years, but nothing had changed. Not the way his mouth knew hers or the way his hand slid through her hair to tangle at the base of her neck. Not the way his tongue asked for entrance and then took over the entire kiss. Nothing. Nothing had changed. Not her body’s reaction to his proximity or how he pushed slightly against her; stability and risk in one movement.
No. She pulled back.
Things had changed. He was married. He had Eli. And she and Alex were again dancing around each other. She shook her head, “Elliot.”
“I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t know what …” he shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I was right there with you.” Olivia looked back at her coffee mug. “And I wanted it to go farther. But I can’t …” she took a deep, shaking breath. “I don’t want to be the other woman, Elliot. Even if …” she cut him off before he could argue, “I’ve been exactly that since we were partnered together. I respect myself too much. I respect you too much. I respect Kathy … even if it kills me sometimes that you two are back together.” She was rambling and she knew it and her defenses meant nothing to him.
“Liv …” his voice hitched and she waited for him to put his thoughts together. “I just wish I understood how I feel right now. I do know that I’m not in love with Kathy anymore.”
“You haven’t been in love with her for a long, long time, Elliot. You went back to her because she was pregnant. If she hadn’t been, you never would have actually moved home, even if you were talking about it. It doesn’t mean you could live with yourself if we did … what kisses like that usually turn in to for us. I won’t do that to you. As much as I miss you, I won’t do it to you.” But she sighed. The words felt hollow and his hand was on her back again and she was turning to face him, coffee mug set aside and her hands resting on his hips. “We shouldn’t-“
“Let me make my own choices, Olivia.” He kissed her again.
This time she didn’t pull back. The feel of his lips on hers was so familiar and somehow so much more settling than anything she felt with Alex. His hand was halfway up the back of her shirt and she was in desperate need of a panty change when his cell phone vibrated. With a laugh, he stepped back and took a breath and checked the text message.
“What is it?”
“Cragen needs us.” He sighed and looked at her. “Olivia, I’m not sorry about what just happened. I don’t know what it all means, but I’m not sorry.”
“Cragen needs us,” she repeated softly. “We’ll talk about the rest later.” Olivia grabbed her abandoned coffee mug and followed Elliot down the stairs while her inner teenager laughed and mocked her.
***
The suit in Cragen’s office told them everything they needed to know about why their captain so desperately needed their presence. Holding back the huff, Olivia slid into a chair and stared at the IAB rat. She really hated these guys. “What’s up?”
“Your investigation of the Kellen Ridgeland rape case.”
“It’s totally by the book,” Elliot piped up from his perch in the corner. “In fact, the only thing keeping us from getting anything done is you and the Union guys. We could get a rapist off the streets, possibly a killer, if you’d let us talk to the remaining officers we need to talk to.”
“That’s the problem.” Cragen looked at them. “They’re worried you both may be too close to this investigation.”
“Why?”
“Detective Stabler, is it true that your daughter, Elizabeth, is having a romantic relationship with the victim?”
“Yes. But she wasn’t the one who was raped. The rules don’t apply.”
Olivia pressed her fingers tightly to the bridge of her nose. What was next?
“As for you, Detective Benson, your professionalism and lack of ability to separate yourself from this case may already be called into question.”
“Me, why me?” Her mind raced. She’d investigated countless cases of rape or murder as related to sexual orientation and her professionalism had never been an issue. No one knew, except Elliot and Alex and maybe Fin. Yeah, she had a feeling Fin knew but thank god for his discretion.
A file landed in her lap. Nervous, she flipped it open, expecting to see some long-lens shot of her and Alex locked in some public display of affection and as a result, they thought because they thought she was supposedly gay, she couldn’t be objective. Instead, the blood drained from her body and shaking, she stared at the image of the officer in front of her.
“Liv?”
The concern in Elliot’s voice nearly did her in, but her ability to process anything was suddenly so internalized that she couldn’t respond. Anderson. Phillip Anderson. She knew where she knew the name now. How many times in her days at Sealview had he bent her over a table, pressing into her while she struggled and he mocked her?
“You want a little of this, baby girl? Maybe I’ll get you and Lilly over there to go at it for me. Whoever gives it up first gets an extra hour of sleep in the morning.”
She trembled.
“What, baby girl? What’s got you all nervous? You want something to be scared of, I’ll give you to someone who will make you scream.”
“Olivia?”
“What’s he doing working for NYPD?” She glanced up at the IA rat. “What the hell is he doing with a badge and a gun?”
“He passed his background and his physical qualifiers.”
“He’s complacent in rape and sexual assault.”
“None of which was proven, let alone charged, Detective Benson. But you can see how it would look if it was you who suddenly started throwing your weight around.”
“With all due respect,” she said, the sarcasm dripping from her, “if he was cleared of all charges from his time at Sealview, then me ‘throwing my weight around’ shouldn’t be an issue. But the more you cover for this officer, the more it proves to me that you know something even we don’t and that IA is going to help to keep an rapist and a murderer on the street. So,” she stood up, somehow finding her center, “you can either let me do my job or you can find yourselves on the end of a subpoena from the DA’s office to release these files. It’s up to you.”
She felt, more than heard, Elliot’s proud snort of approval. The IA cretin for his part didn’t quite know what to say. She waited, still clinging to the file they’d handed her, determined to not lose this game of chicken. Finally, he nodded. “Okay.” He relented. “But, you let us know if you’re going to make an arrest. We need to make sure this is by the book.”
“Fair enough.” She waited until the suit had stormed from Cragen’s office before collapsing back onto the chair, her hands cramping from holding the file so tightly. Her breath caught and she closed her eyes, trying to get her heartbeat under control.
“You all right, Olivia?”
She nodded, the gentle voice of her captain grounding her. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“You going to be able to handle this?”
“Yeah.” She took another breath and finally found herself calming down. “It was just a surprise, that’s all.”
“All right. So go catch yourselves a rapist.”
***
“You want to tell me what that’s all about?” Elliot watched her out of the corner of his eye and she shivered under the scrutiny. “I mean, it’s clear he has history with you at Sealview but you look like you just watched …”
“He was part of it, okay, Elliot? My time at the prison was one guard after another molesting me. It was only Harris that took it further.” She closed her eyes. God she needed a shower. Badly. A shower and maybe to scour her body with razor wire. His hands were all over her again, his half hard cock pressing against her while he frisked her.
“Let’s see what you got under that jumpsuit baby girl.”
Elliot’s hand closed over her knee and she jumped and he pulled back, guilt pouring from him. “Sorry.”
“I didn’t mean …” she whimpered a bit and stared out the window of the sedan. Talking about it was supposed to make it better, but what was she supposed to say? Dealing with what Harris had done to her, how he’d overpowered her and forced her had been enough. Finally erasing the “bite me and you’re dead” loop from her brain had taken over a year. Now she had Anderson, his smirking “Baby girl” in her mind, pressing against her, taunting her. She took a breath. “He … he was one of the worst when I was undercover, El. But proving anything was impossible. My word against his and really we were after Harris.”
“You ever going to tell me what Harris did to you?”
“You’ve read the case report.”
“Not what was squandered away by his union rep.”
“Someday, Elliot. I promise.”
“Okay.” He pointed to the squad car parked under the bridge in front of them. “That’s them. You ready for this?”
“As I’ll ever be.” She sighed and undid her seat belt. “Let’s do it.”
***
“Well, well. Hello, Kat. Oh, I’m sorry. It’s Detective Benson, right? I can’t be sure.”
Elliot swallowed his gut reaction. Pushing a fellow officer up against his squad car while his partner was witness was sure to get any of their notes thrown out. But he did step protectively in front of Olivia. That she didn’t roll her eyes and step away from him told him more than anything she could have voiced out loud. “We need to talk to you about what happened at the HHS protest the other night.”
“Not much to talk about. Some of the kids got rowdy and the ones we could, we rounded up and let cool their heels overnight in central booking.”
“Were there any problems?”
“Not really. Most of them were teenagers so they haven’t learned to fight back yet.”
“Did you pick anyone up?”
Anderson looked back at his partner and then at Olivia, who still hadn’t spoken a word. He smirked and shrugged. “No. After all, there would be a record if I had, wouldn’t there.”
“We have a witness who says otherwise, Anderson.”
“Your witness is a teenage kid who probably wants to find a way to prove to mom and dad that she wasn’t out whoring around all night.”
Elliot jumped in when Olivia’s jaw tightened. “You know, these teenage kids are pretty good kids. We’ve talked to a bunch of them and we have witness statements that put one of them in your squad car after security broke up the protest.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Anderson still hadn’t taken his eyes off Olivia.
Olivia finally spoke up. “Come on, Anderson. You mean you don’t want to brag about what you did to that little girl. We all know how you love to brag.”
The distant tone in her voice turned Elliot’s blood cold. What had this bastard done to her? “Don’t make us come back and arrest you. Come on down, stand in a lineup, clear yourself.”
But Anderson snorted. “Talk to my union rep.”
“Okay,” Olivia was already storming away. “We’ll see you soon.”
***
Alex looked up at the knock on her door. “Yeah?” She smiled at the familiar face and waved her inside. “What’s up, Liv?” They hadn’t seen each other since the other night. Hadn’t spoken beyond a long game of phone tag that was more about open cases than it was their relationship. She had to smile. It was how they’d started off the first time around. But Olivia looked tired and nervous and the smile fell from her face when she saw the red-rimmed eyes of her former lover. “What is it, Sweetie?”
Olivia shook her head. “I need some advice.”
“Okay, what’s at issue?”
“I have a sneaking feeling that IAB is looking into my private life to see if it determines how I solve my cases.”
“What is the basis for this assumption?”
Olivia shrugged. “I could just be paranoid. But they’re nosing around right now about the Kellen Ridgeland case as though they have something. They’re covering something up. It’s a hunch, but I trust my hunches.”
“So do I. So you think they’ll be using your sexuality to exploit you?”
‘Yeah. So, what can you tell me?”
“Well,” Alex shrugged. “If they have anything on you and Elliot, you’re probably in hot water. But since you ended it and if it never really affected your working relationship then you could probably skate by with a slap on the wrists and a mark in your mutual jackets. Especially,” Alex stared at her, “if you two haven’t picked up where you left off.”
“We haven’t.” She left the “yet” off of the sentence.
“Who else in the department have you had a physical relationship with?”
“You and Brian Cassidy.”
“Well, Brian is a non-issue. The two of you had a one-night stand and although he eventually left the department, it wasn’t as a result of your non-relationship. As for your relationship with me…” Alex grinned devilishly.
Olivia tried to laugh, but she was feeling excessively nervous. “It’s IAB, Alex. They’re the CIA of police organizations. A shadow government that sweeps what it wants to under the rug and the rest they air out to dry and use as examples. And you know as well as I do that gay cops get the brunt of it and I think this is the first time they’ve ever actually faced bisexuality in the department dirty laundry. Semen or vaginal discharge they can handle. But god forbid it be both.
And it doesn’t help that three of my lovers have been part of my department. So much for my ‘I don’t sleep with co-workers’ rule.”
“You used that on Cassidy to shut up his puppy dog like stalking of you.”
“He’s a sweet kid. And, you just said that I hadn’t done anything to jeopardize my job. Now what about you and me?”
“You don’t think I checked into the legalities of what we’re doing before I seduced you into my bed?”
Olivia threw her head back and laughed. “You actually combed through the manual to make sure that you could legally fuck me?”
“Oh yes, yes I did.”
Olivia giggled. “And what did you find, counselor?”
“That if I want to cook a fellow detective dinner and then get her naked on my living room carpet, there is nothing to stop us because we are not technically partners. As long as a relationship within the department does not affect the happenings of a case, then we can fuck like bunnies on the captain’s desk if we want.”
Olivia laughed and shook her head. “Tell me it actually says that in the manual. Please.”
Alex grinned but her eyes were solemn. “I just don’t want your list of lovers flaunted in front of the Morris Commission, Via. God, they’ll …”
“They’ll paint me as an out of control whore that sleeps with anything that moves.”
“Via …”
“It’s okay, Lex. It’s what my GOAL rep said this morning when I talked to her. The commission is made up of old men who haven’t seen action on the streets or with their wives in decades. They still think that gay officers should be under a don’t ask, don’t tell rule and they love the fact that in the state of New York, there still isn’t a firing statue. They’ll find something to get me on and I’ll be lucky to get a job chasing maverick moose killers in Alaska.”
“You’re clean, Via. You’re clean. Your cases are clean and your arrests are good and the complaints in your jacket come from doped up witnesses too fucked up to remember their names. You’re a good cop and people respect you and you have the highest arrest rate in the department. And IAB isn’t after you or even after sexuality right now. They’re trying to cover their asses because they hired Phillip Anderson and we won’t let them get away with it.
“How do you know what this is about?”
Alex held up the file she’d been pouring over. “He was part of the take down you and Fin led at Sealview. Very impressive.”
Olivia shook her head. It was the official file. Not the one with the truth, with her statement about Harris and Anderson and the others. She ran her hands through her hair, not sure if she wanted to bring it up or not. The truth. What had happened at Sealview. She couldn’t. It wasn’t relevant. Not beyond what Anderson had said and done and his comments were nothing more than the usual harassment heaped on suspects by officers. Alex didn’t need to know. “Alex, you …”
“I what?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.” She couldn’t go into it. She couldn’t reveal this weakness to Alex. She couldn’t let her know. What would Alex think of her? “Um, I’ll see you later.”
“Liv, talk to me.”
Unbidden, tears flooded Olivia’s eyes and it took a few deep breaths before she could speak again. “I can’t, Alex. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“What would get me in trouble?”
“The records are sealed.”
“I’ll unseal them. What happened? Olivia?”
“I can’t, Alex. Thanks for the information. I’ll see you later.” She turned on her heel and fled.
***
“Have you issued an arrest warrant for Phillip Anderson?”
Alex glanced up at her boss and pulled her glasses off her face. Suddenly, she had a headache. “Yes.”
“I wish you hadn’t.”
“He raped a young girl under cloak of authority. When confronted by Benson and Stabler, he was defiant and argumentative. It’s more than enough for a lineup.”
“Don’t let your detectives file on the Anderson rape case.”
Alex frowned. “Why not?”
“Because they are too close to it. There is too much of a conflict of interest.”
“Why? What’s going on? Why am I being blocked at every turn on this thing? IAB, the Unions, even you. Why is One PP covering its ass like this?”
“Because they screwed up and they’re more worried about covering that up than arresting a rapist.”
A file landed on her desk. She glanced at the Confidential scrawled across the top. “This is ...”
“Two years ago, Detective Benson went undercover at Sealview’s correctional facility. There were some problems with the technicalities of her investigation - nothing so much she did but there were failures on the part of the department to make sure what she found would stick. What happened to her could not be used in court.”
“What do you mean what happened?”
“Read this file, Alex. If Benson and Stabler do pursue the Anderson case, there will be an evidentiary hearing to establish conflict of interest and you deserve better than finding out the truth on the witness stand.”
“What happened to her?” Alex was out of her chair and staring her boss down. “What happened?” Why hadn’t she been there?
“Her statements are in the file. My understanding is that there is actually more and it was kept off the record by the corrections union. But someone knows and they’re going to be asking some hard questions. Get ready. And get ready to be called to the stand.”
“Why me?”
“Because the wrong people know about your personal relationship with Detective Benson.”
“We don’t have a personal relationship.”
“But you did. And,” he handed over a manila envelope. “This came this morning.”
Shaking, Alex pulled a photograph out of the envelope. Grainy footage of Olivia standing at her window, pulling the shades down and Alex behind her, arms around her, whispering into her ear. “Someone followed us last night?”
“Apparently. Look, Alex, I could care less who you are sleeping with. But it does pertain to the case. I’m not going to pull you, but you need to watch your back and be ready to answer hard questions.”
“This is not the first case Olivia Benson has investigated that deals with lesbian sexuality.”
“No, but it is the first one where her suspect is also her perp.”
The blood drained from Alex’s body as her suspicions were confirmed. “He …”
“There’s no evidence to support it. Read the file, Alex. And maybe it’s time you really talked to Benson.”
“Yeah …” She didn’t hear her boss leave her office. She didn’t hear the door close or her pager beep with the message that they’d arrested Anderson. Shaking, she flipped open the file and stared at the big red “Confidential” stamped on the first page. Worrying her lip between her teeth, she flipped the page and came face to face with Olivia’s picture, the same one on her ID badge. Benson, Olivia. Detective level 1, Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Precinct 16. She pulled the picture out and set it aside. Underneath was her CV - the basics of her education, grades at the academy, and rise through the ranks. Below that, commendations and annotations to letters in her personal file from victims and families whom she had made a special impact on. Below that, a cursory list of complaints filed and suspensions leveled. She stared at one, confused. One month suspension without pay and permanent mark in jacket. Must remain free of complaints for one year or will lose badge. See personnel file for details. Case file 1233467-B; Simon Marsden. What had she missed while she was away? The next page gave a detailed summary of her request to go undercover at Sealview: her suspicions and evidence and witness statements to back up her theories. The approval from the department, signed by Cragen. Detectives Benson and Tutuola to go undercover together to investigate Corrections Officers for sexual assault. Alex’s breath started coming in shorter gasps.
Sexual assault.
She flipped to the next page. A familiar form signed with Olivia’s familiar handwriting. Narrative: Following the uprising in the prison mess, Officer Harris cuffed me and took me to the basement. Assuming he was taking me to solitary confinement, I did not fight. In the basement, he pushed me onto a mattress. Alex had to stop reading. No. God. No. Her hands shook, her body quaked. No. No. No. At that point I fought back and was able to hide behind a pile of boxes. When Harris caught up to me, he cuffed me to the door and exposed himself. At that time, Detective Tutuola came into the basement and arrested Harris. No. No. No. Alex knew Olivia. She knew there was more to this statement than what she had put out there.
Her Olivia. Raped. Sexually assaulted. Forced against her will to submit.
Other officers involved with sexual control at the correctional facility include Phillip Anderson, Matthew Decker, and Christopher Buttars. Evidence and statements provided on page two.
Her phone beeped again. Alex grabbed it and stared at the message. Kellen Ridgeland has identified Phillip Anderson. We’ve arrested and charged him. Meet us at booking.
Shaking, Alex rose to her feet, grabbed her bag, and headed out. She needed to talk to Olivia. Now.
TBC …