[Mini-series] Yellow {2/2}
^^ As requested by myself, once again. Hihi. This is Nica’s version of a “WE DON’T NEED NO FREAKING PLOT” story
*BOWS*
Yellow
You are mine, like a sad graduation song.
You are still a small part of this heart of mine.
Your beauty glitters in your eyes.
Like so many stars I hope you will always shine.
-“Me to You, You to Me”
“Hey Fate,” a pouting Wish called his companion who was busy humming while tying strings to yet another bouncy soul. A petite god gave him a nasty frown and Wish rolled his eyes before saying, “Fine, Ryeowook.”
“You are annoying. Over and over, I told you to call me Ryeowook,” Fate stated as he shoos away the bubbly soul. “What is it, Yesung?”
The god named Yesung rubbed his chin for a while before looking at Ryeowook.
“I think you’re cruel,” he said.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened a little.
“What? Why?”
Yesung exhaled, looked down at his feet and pointed at the millions of people roaming the earth like ants hunting for food before a rainy day. The earth is filled with busy people all hurrying to finish some unfulfilled task for the day. Earth is truly a noisy place for a god like Yesung and people’s hearts are raging oceans of wishes. Some people are wishing for wealth, others are wishing for fame, some are wishing to live another day and most are wishing to find that one person to fill the empty spaces in their lives. Wishes come minute after minute, day after day and it’s all in repeating patterns that sometimes, Yesung gets tired of hearing them.
“People can sometimes be stupid creatures, you know,” Yesung said gently, watching as the stupid creatures go about their daily lives without knowing that somehow, in the middle of what seems to be an ordinary circumstance, they’ve already found what they have always been wishing for.
“What if in their lifetime, they never get to find the holder of the other end of their strings? What if somewhere along the way, the strings get tangled and they are led to a wrong destination?” Yesung asked, curious.
Ryeowook smiled and scratched his ears.
“Then they just have to keep looking,” he stated, as if it’s an obvious answer.
“That’s why I think you’re cruel,” Yesung said. “People can’t always follow directions. Some of them - most of them - are simply that stupid. They get lost, they go round and round and worst, they think they’ve arrived at the right destination when in fact they haven’t. What if they spend their lifetimes thinking that they’ve found the other holder of their strings? What if they spend the rest of their life feeling incomplete? Will you allow them to?” Yesung asked.
Ryeowook grinned at the frustrated god.
“That’s what you’re there for, isn’t it? So people can wish to find the other end of their strings,” he said and squatted down, grinning. “Maybe that’s why people should learn to follow their heart. If they do, then it’ll be much easier. Sadly,” Ryeowook looked at Yesung. “That one tiny part of the human body seems to be the trickiest one.”
Yesung rolled his eyes.
“Then, will you stop weaving those red strings?” He asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
Ryeowook’s grin grew wider.
“Because it’s always nice to know that someone is there waiting at the other end of the line.”
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“Cho Kyuhyun!” Sungmin’s voice echoed in Kyuhyun’s mind and a second later, a beaming spirit materialized by Kyuhyun’s side while excitedly pointing at something from outside the shoe factory. Kyuhyun jumped a little in his seat and rolled his eyes when Donghae, who was sitting in front of him, flashed him a suspicious glance.
“What?”Kyuhyun mouthed towards Donghae and the other shook his head and turned his back on his co-worker.
“Kyuhyun-ah! Kyuhyun-ah!” Sungmin was almost jumping up and down. Kyuhyun cocked his head towards one side to show the other that he’s listening. Lately, Kyuhyun has developed certain signals to answer Sungmin without looking like a crazed lunatic in front of his co-workers who cannot see or sense Sungmin. Although Sungmin was slow on the pick-up, he nevertheless learned to answer Kyuhyun whenever those signals appear.
“There’s a man with a cart and a tinkling bell and he’s selling some frozen sweets! The kids love it,” Sungmin exclaimed, pointing outside the window. Kyuhyun frowned a little, biting back the urge to call Sungmin an idiot for disturbing him over something as nonsense as foreign sweets.
“Hurry! Hurry! Let’s try it! Ah! The cart man is going away! Ah! The tinkling bells are fading! Ah~ Kyuhyun!”
“No,” Kyuhyun tried to be discreet.
“But Kyuhyun!”
“You can’t eat anyway, for goodness’ sake! You’re a freaking flower!” Kyuhyun blurted out without thinking and quickly regretted it when he was met with curious glances from his co-worker. “ahaha! That’s what my neighbor always say to his daughter,” he tried to cover up and glared at Sungmin who was laughing beside him.
“I’m going to take a little break, hyung,” Kyuhyun informed Donghae and the latter nodded a little, probably weird-ed out by Kyuhyun’s sudden outburst.
Kyuhyun headed towards the rooftop with Sungmin at his heels, imitating the sounds of tinkling bells. Kyuhyun looked back at him and flashed him a nasty look before continuing to head towards the rooftop. It still feels weird having Sungmin clinging to him like a vine would cling to a wall. Wherever he goes, Sungmin is there, whenever he sleeps, he would wake up with Sungmin’s face inches apart from him. Whatever he eats, Sungmin insists on eating too (although the eating part is questionable). If Kyuhyun is at work, Sungmin would be there. If Kyuhyun is out on a stroll, Sungmin would tag along. Slowly, little by little, Sungmin had become a familiar part of Kyuhyun’s everyday routine and the fact that the man is supposed to be an “un-wilting” flower on a pot on Kyuhyun’s windowsill suddenly did not matter at all.
“Hey, Kyuhyun-ah~,” Sungmin whined, taking his usual place beside Kyuhyun when the other started puffing on a lighted cigarette. Kyuhyun did not answer and instead carelessly blew smoke on Sungmin’s face. The spring sun is warm on their backs and the mid-morning air cheerful.
Kyuhyun leaned on the railings and side-eyed Sungmin who was sitting on the railing beside him, feet dangling and swaying to some unknown music, like a flower dancing with the wind.
“A flower,” Kyuhyun thought. Ah yes, a flower. Sungmin is a flower. Sometimes he forgets that Sungmin is not human at all. At night when Sungmin insists on sleeping beside him, Kyuhyun would try to touch Sungmin just to confirm that he has not gone crazy but when his hands touch air when he’s supposed to be grasping Sungmin’s hand, Kyuhyun also doubts his own sanity. Is this some kind of a trick? Is Sungmin for real? Because from what Kyuhyun knows (and believes) spirits and flowers turning into humans only happen in out-of-this world novels.
“I wonder who it is,” Kyuhyun said after a while.
“What?” Sungmin asked.
Kyuhyun blew another smoke on Sungmin’s face.
“You told me before that you’re looking for the holder of the other end of your so-called strings,” he said. “I wonder who it is. I mean, I told you I’m going to help you look for that person. But until now, all we ever did is simply live together,” Kyuhyun said.
Sungmin grinned and tried to hit Kyuhyun on the shoulder yet, just like many times before, his hand simply went through the other’s body. He was not able to hide the disappointed look on his face.
“I like living with you,” Sungmin smiled after a while. “I like being your flower,” he added and Kyuhyun gagged on air.
“Yah,” Kyuhyun chided. “That sounds weird coming from you.”
“Ahh~” Sungmin stretched and jumped down from the railing. “Why can’t it be you, Kyuhyun-ah?” he pouted a little.
“What?”
“My string,” Sungmin said. “Why can’t you be the other end of my string?” He stared at Kyuhyun, wide eyes glowing and expectant.
Kyuhyun looked back at Sungmin for a brief moment, wondering where and when the drumming in his heart started. He swallowed unconsciously and choked a little on the cigarette smoke. The bouncy spirit is standing so close to him, eyes wide, skin glowing, smile warm, almost as if he is human, almost as if he is inviting Kyuhyun to touch him.
And Kyuhyun suddenly wanted to touch him.
Kyuhyun slowly raises his right hand, wanting to confirm for a second time that he’s not crazy and Sungmin is human. Why he suddenly wants Sungmin to be human, he couldn’t quite explain it himself. All he knows is that in that moment, in that one brief moment, he wants Sungmin to be human and touch him.
“Hey, I think you have it, the other end of my string.”
As if they escaped from somewhere, flashes of someone else’s memories went through Kyuhyun in that instant. Laughter, quiet conversations, sunsets, winter nights, oil lamps and playful shadows - for a brief moment, Kyuhyun felt as if they were his. Kyuhyun felt as if somewhere, somehow, Sungmin had been a part of those memories.
“Kyuhyun-ah~ I like you, Kyuhyun-ah~.”
“Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun-ah!”
Kyuhyun blinked, the memories suddenly fading and he noticed his hand going through the side of Sungmin’s face. In any other circumstance it would have been funny. Sungmin is staring at him, calling his name while Kyuhyun’s hand is invading what was supposed to be an impenetrable part of Sungmin’s body. In any other circumstance, it really would have been funny but Kyuhyun stood there, suddenly confused, suddenly frustrated that he could not touch Sungmin. Why can’t he touch Sungmin? He wished he could touch Sungmin.
“Would you be so kind as to pull your hand from my face?” Sungmin asked and to his surprise, Kyuhyun laughed. He choked on air for the third time, laughed some more and walked away, calling Sungmin an idiot. Sungmin stared at his back and grinned, deciding that it’s the right time to persuade Kyuhyun to eat that lovely new dessert.
“Kyuhyun-ah! Let’s eat the sweets with the tinkling bells!” Sungmin said as he bounded after Kyuhyun.
“Shut up, you can’t even eat!” Kyuhyun retorted and laughed some more, not really knowing why he was laughing in the first place.
------------------------------
Kyuhyun have lived and witnessed so many springs coming and going in his lifetime. They all come and go unnoticed to him, like a wind that blows one moment then disappears the next. There are probably one or two spring memories that Kyuhyun remembers but other than that, everything is jumbled up in his mind and it’s difficult to figure out which season the memories belong to. Yet, as he stares out the window one lazy Saturday afternoon with Sungmin pouting (and most probably bored) beside him, Kyuhyun knew that he already accumulated a lifetime’s worth of spring memories.
Maybe it all started with wanting to touch Sungmin - that incessant and almost painful need to feel the other’s skin beneath Kyuhyun’s touch and confirm that he has not gone crazy; that Sungmin is as real as anyone Kyuhyun has ever encountered in his life. Yet, each time he tries to touch the other, he could feel nothing more than empty air and Sungmin would look at him with mixed emotions as if begging Kyuhyun to confirm his own existence.
“Have you ever tried touching anyone?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly.
Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun for a while before bursting into hysteric fits of laughter.
“What kind of question is that? It sounds perverted,” Sungmin remarked.
“Aish... ai... yah~,” Kyuhyun whined, wanting to punch Sungmin on the face. If only he could touch him. “That’s not what I meant! You pervert flower,” he said, faking annoyance.
Sungmin laughed and Kyuhyun refused to look at him, choosing instead to stare at the wide open blue sky above them.
“I tried touching you last night,” Sungmin admitted and instantaneously, Kyuhyun whipped his head and stared at him.
“Where?” He asked, suddenly alarmed.
Sungmin laughed again, remarking how perverted that question was.
“Where?” He choked on laughter. “Here, on the bed, of course,” he continued laughing and started pointing out how Kyuhyun’s face had grown redder.
Kyuhyun stared incredulously at Sungmin, suddenly aware of his own body.
“You pervert flower, you pervert flower,” he kept murmuring.
“hihihi,” Sungmin simple laughed, poking Kyuhyun every now and then, his fingers passing through Kyuhyun’s skin, leaving Kyuhyun with a cold sensation. “I wanted to touch you, you know,” Sungmin suddenly said when he stopped laughing.
“I think it’s important,” Sungmin continued. “Being able to touch someone, that is. I think it’s important.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Sungmin said. “My previous owner, the woman I told you about, she likes to touch people. Whenever she talks to them, she would touch them. Sometimes she would touch them gently, sometimes roughly. Sometimes they smile, sometimes they don’t. And I think they can tell,” Sungmin grins at Kyuhyun. “I think they can tell how much she loves them when she touches them and I think that sometimes, when words get too difficult to say, human needs something more to make another person feel how they feel.”
Kyuhyun stayed silent for a moment and simply watched Sungmin pouting. The dancing yellow flower near him caught his attention and without a word, he reached out and touched the fragile petal gently, softly, as if he’s scared that it would be ruined. Beside him, Sungmin closed his eyes and exhaled softly, as if he could feel Kyuhyun touching him and in that few seconds, Kyuhyn felt as if a tiny bit of space between them suddenly disappeared - as if Sungmin could really feel Kyuhyun touching him.
“I want it to be you, Kyuhyun-ah,” Sungmin whispered.
“Hmm?”
“The other end of my string,” Sungmin said. “I want it to be you,” he opened his eyes and grinned at Kyuhyun, making tiny “hihihi” sounds when Kyuhyun looked back at him. The human swallowed a little, wondering, really wondering, why the drumming in his heart intensified.
Sungmin winked at him grossly and instead of retaliating with annoyance, Kyuhyun laughed. He liked the way Sungmin looked so stupid doing that gross wink. He does not know why but he liked it.
Then again, most of us probably experience that moment when something that’s supposed to be so superficial and simple start to mean something more. A laugh, a wink, a weird body movement, they captivate us in ways that no other person can understand. Maybe that’s how special feelings of fondness start. It’s like finding that one person whose laugh amuse us in ways we can’t explain and suddenly, no other person can laugh the way that person laughs and no other person’s laugh amuses us as much. The fondness starts from there then develops into amusement then amusement develops into complicated feelings and finally, it develops into love.
Love...
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly.
“Why what?” Sungmin asked back.
“The other of your string...why do you want me to be that person?” Kyuhyun asked again.
Sungmin giggled and scooted closer to Kyuhyun. Pale light from outside streamed through the window and the shadows dance on Sungmin’s face. Kyuhyun moved away a little, suddenly awkward at the closeness. For a second they sat side by side, like nervous teenagers out on a first date. The spring scents filter in through the air, bringing back distant memories that were probably theirs in another life. Kyuhyun exhaled a little and Sungmin imitated him with a smile.
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked again, feeling a little warm and he’s so sure that the feelings are not from the sunlight embracing him.
“I think you’re a good person,” Sungmin said. He shrugged and stared at Kyuhyun. “People like you are probably difficult to find,” he continued as Kyuhyun stared at him. “I’m happy enough to have met you the way I am right now. Imagine how good it would be to be connected to you and find you again and again in each of the lifetimes I live,” he smiled.
Something inside Kyuhyun melted and for some reason he felt like crying. With his eyes fixated on Sungmin, he reached out and tried to touch the other’s face. Kyuhyun closed his eyes and images of Sungmin play beneath his eyelids.
“Kyu...hyun?” Sungmin whispered. “What is it?”
“Shh,” Kyuhyun shushed him. “I want to touch you...,” he said, almost frustrated. “Why can’t I touch you?”
Silence flowed around them for long heartbeats and Kyuhyun’s imagination is filled with only images of Sungmin. He tried to imagine touching Sungmin’s face, reaching out to him and feeling his skin beneath his fingertips. Sungmin smiled in his imagination and he reached out too to touch Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun savored that moment when Sungmins cold fingers met his cheeks. If feelings really could be conveyed through touching, Kyuhyun wondered what feelings he’s conveying to Sungmin right now.
“Kyuhyun...,” Sungmin’s voice sounded.
“Hmm?” Kyuhyun opened his eyes only to find his hand once again invading Sungmin’s face. “Ooops?” He simply said and broke the atmosphere with an awkward laugh.
Sungmin pouted at him and Kyuhyun turned his back on him.
“Hey Kyuhyun-ah,” Sungmin called with a teasing voice. “Are you falling in love with a flower?” He teased.
“Aish... no!” Kyuhyun defended strongly and yet, within him, something inside is nudging at his heart, telling him that maybe... just maybe... he already started falling.
-------------------------
It rained one sunny spring afternoon several weeks later. It’s a weird sight, a weird combination of sunlight and dazzling raindrops as if the weather has finally decided to go crazy. The raindrops reflect the sun and scatters light everywhere and the earth appeared to be dazzling that day. There’s a gentle wind blowing from the east and the leaves happily shake from their branches.
Kyuhyun was busy repairing an old bicycle in his backyard when the rain started pouring. Sungmin, who was beside him, suddenly started exclaiming “Oh it’s a fox rain! Fox rain!” While Kyuhyun scampered to seek shelter beneath an overhang roof, Sungmin started dancing funny under the fox rain, relishing the feel of the first spring rain of the year.
“Yah!” Kyuhyun shouted. “Are you that excited about the rain?”
Sungmin grinned at him and flashed him a brilliant, excited smile.
“What? Am I not allowed to be excited?” He teased. “I’m a flower and flowers love rain!” He said and started his silly dance once again.
Kyuhyun watched him from where he stands, unconsciously smiling at the dancing Sungmin. The raindrops pass through his body, creating a semi-silhouette of a silly dancer. The reflected lights from the still shining sun made the silhouette glow as if Sungmin is an illusion that’s supposed to disappear in time.
Kyuhyun blinked.
Illusion.
What if Sungmin is indeed only his illusion? What if he is meant to disappear after all this craziness is over? What if one day, when Kyuhyun wakes up, Sungmin’s stupid sleeping face won’t greet him anymore? What if suddenly, the yellow flower by his windowsill disappears? What would he do? What if Sungmin leaves without Kyuhyun getting to touch him and feel his fingers touching Sungmin’s skin? He wants to touch Sungmin.
Thinking about those things made something inside him constrict and Kyuhyun touched his chest, as if by touching, he could confirm why he suddenly dread the day Sungmin would disappear from his life.
“Sungmin,” Kyuhyun called.
“Yeah?” Sungmin asked, wriggling his butt as part of his stupid dance.
“What if all of these are simply illusions?” Kyuhyun asked. Sungmin stopped dancing and faced Kyuhyun, hands on his hips. The fox rain toned down into soft drizzles and for a moment, the world seemed to be glowing. Silence enveloped the atmosphere in that short instance, as if the world is mesmerized that the sun and the rain can exist at the same time. Sungmin exhaled and stood beside Kyuhyun, reaching out towards the softening rain as if he can touch the raindrops if he did so.
“It’s cold. Try it,” Sungmin commented at the rain. Without a word, Kyuhyun reached out too and felt the rain in his hands.
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun commented awkwardly. “Cold.”
Sungmin smiled at him. They stood in silence, feeling the cold rain land on their palms. Sungmin felt so small standing beside Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun weirdly liked the way it felt. In that moment, unknown feelings of nostalgia washed over Kyuhyun, as if he’d done the same thing in the past, standing beside Sungmin and Sungmin feeling small beside him. His heart ached with longing he cannot understand and his need to touch Sungmin increased as if his hands would burn if he won’t be able to touch him.
“It feels good,” Sungmin started.
“Hmm?”
“If this is an illusion, at least we shared a memory of standing here, feeling the rain together,” Sungmin smiled. “When you’re older and probably senile and forgetful, you’ll get to mix up memories and think that some illusions are realities,” he turned to face Kyuhyun completely. “And then probably this moment will come back to you when I’m standing beside you and we just... feel the rain together. And then for that brief instant... you’ll see me as a reality and not simply an illusion. You’ll forget I’m simply a flower and think that if you remember something as simple as feeling the rain together, I must be someone special. I like to be special,” he said, his confusing words sounding so bitter and so sweet to Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun chose to remain silent and instead settled to watching the half rainbow that formed in the sky.
“The sweet dessert you wanted is called ice cream,” Kyuhyun said randomly.
“Ah really?”
“Yes,” Kyuhyun swallowed. “Let’s eat some together, sometime.”
“Haha. I’m a flower and I can’t eat,” Sungmin accepted the reality.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun murmured.
“Yeah?”
“If in another lifetime after this, you were given the chance to be born as a human and I’m given another chance to be human too,” Kyuhyun explored. “Do you think we’d meet again? Would you want to meet me again?”
Sungmin did not answer for some time.
“Will you eat ice cream together with me, then?” Sungmin joked and Kyuhyun laughed while nodding. “Then I want to meet you again,” he smiled and reached out to touch Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun closed his eyes and strained himself to feel Sungmin touching him and for a brief second, he thought he felt the slightest feel of cold fingers grazing his cheeks.
Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun opened his eyes.
“I’ll make you do things for me,” Sungmin said. “If I’ll be a woman in my next life, I’ll make you go to the market with me every single day. I’ll make you cook, I’ll make you knit, I’ll even force you to sew clothes for me,” he joked. “If I’ll be born as your child, I’ll annoy you by crying. If I’ll be born as your friend, I’ll drink with you until we’re senseless,” he laughed. “If... if I’ll be born as your lover...,” he cleared his throat. “Kyuhyun, if I’ll be born as your lover...”
Kyuhyun looked away when he felt a painful tugging at his heart.
“Do you think there’ll still be ice cream during that time?” He flashed a teary smile.
“Mhmm...”
“If you’ll be born as my lover, then let’s have some together then,” Kyuhyun said and raised his pinky finger, signalling the beginnings of a promise.
Sungmin grinned and raised his own pinky finger, giggling at how it simply passes through Kyuhyun’s hands.
“Mhmm... let’s eat some together.”
Kyuhyun doesn’t know about Sungmin, but in that moment, as their fingers passes through each other’s, Kyuhyun has every intention to fulfill every word.
“Hey, Sungmin, I think I have it... the other end of your string.”
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Kyuhyun has never fallen in love before. All his life, he thought that he’s not the type to fall in love. Serving during the war hardened him the way stones are hardened through time. Yet, when Sungmin came to his life and he started doubting his sanity, he also started doubting whether stones are truly stones and can’t fall in love because in the months that Sungmin has wreaked havoc with his sanity, Kyuhyun started to be fully aware of him.
Sometimes, when sleep doesn’t come to him at night and Sungmin insist on snuggling beside Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun would lie awake in bed, staring at Sungmin snoring beside him and wonder how it would feel if Sungmin was human and Kyuhyun was his lover. When Sungmin would disappear for hours, chasing after the tinkling bells from the ice cream man, Kyuhyun would find himself constantly staring at the door, worried and fidgety that Sungmin might not come back.
He’s so sure that he’s gone insane and Sungmin is a product of his mind betraying him.
“I don’t know why, but you’re sounding like a crazy person to me right now,” Donghae told him as they share a bottle of soju after work that day. Sungmin surprisingly did not tag along, saying something about Kyuhyun needing his privacy every now and then. Kyuhyun wanted to welcome the silence but he found himself constantly murmuring things, as if Sungmin is beside him and with his confused state, he asked Donghae out for a drink.
“I mean, who the hell falls in love with an illusion?” Donghae continued, grimacing as the soju travels down his throat.
“Love?” Kyuhyun asked, bewildered. “I’m in love?”
Donghae shrugged. “You sound like you’re in love,” he said.
“But...”
“Look,” Donghae interrupted him. “If you’re too concerned about him and if you constantly look for him wherever you are, and if you find it difficult to breathe when he’s not around, you’re most probably in love. Before I married my wife, we separated countless times and in those moments between separation and being together again, I constantly find myself wandering back to the places we’ve gone to together, unconsciously hoping that I would see her face,” Donghae narrated, his eyes sparkling. “And when I indeed see her, when her familiar face stands out from the crowd, I don’t know why but I feel happiness surging through me as if I’m so relieved that she’s there, I can see her, she’s right there.”
“And that’s how you know you’re in love?” Kyuhyun asked.
Donghae nodded, once again grimacing at his soju.
“Yes! But more than that,” he made a weird sound. “More than that, Kyuhyun, I think when you’ve truly found someone who holds the other half of your heart, you can’t feel complete without the person. Something would always be missing, something inside would always be painful. Sooner or later, you’ll lose that person and the pain would be unbearable. But I think that’s how you know you’ve really loved.”
“Love is not all about the bliss and the happiness... sometimes, you confirm its existence through pain.”
Kyuhyun stared at his senior, somehow amazed at how philosophical he sounded. He touched his heart and thought of Sungmin suddenly disappearing from his life and he thought he understood a little what Donghae meant.
And so that night, Kyuhyun came home a little drunk, a little confused. As soon as he opened the door, a jolly Sungmin greeted him and started talking about the funny tinkling bells he followed all day. His face was so bright and so happy that Kyuhyun started to wonder how he survived those days when Sungmin was not beside him. Something inside seemed to have been pulled and tied together with Sungmin’s strings.
“Sungmin,” Kyuhyun said when Sungmin stopped talking.
“What is it?” Sungmin grinned.
“If you’re born again as a human, I promise,” Kyuhyun said, wondering why his throat suddenly felt scratchy. “I promise to fall in love with you again,” he said.
“A...gain?” Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun, eyes wide and blinking, pondering on the meaning of Kyuhyun’s words. In that moment, memories from long forgotten days flooded in his mind and he’s so sure... so sure that in the past, once upon a time, he must have been human too. And he must have loved someone special. Once upon a time, so many years ago, he must have fallen in love with Kyuhyun. Only with Kyuhyun.
“Donghae-hyung said that sooner or later,” Kyuhyun choked. “Sooner or later, we’ll lose important people and...,” his voice got scratchy. “And I thought... I thought that it’s inevitable for me to lose you too. That’s why,” a treacherous tear fell from his eyes. “That’s why I want to make a promise... that in the next lifetimes to come, I’ll meet you. I’ll meet you and definitely fall in love. Sungmin, I’ll...,” he sniffed and refused to continue his sentence.
Something scratched at Sungmin’s throat too and until that moment, he didn’t realize that flowers are capable of crying too.
“Then let’s make a promise,” he said, choking on the tears forming at his throat. “That if we meet each other in the countless lifetimes that lie ahead, aside from eating ice cream, let’s make a promise to fall in love,” he smiled and Kyuhyun, instead of answering him burst into painful, drunken tears, his body sliding to the floor.
A confused Sungmin didn’t know what to do, feeling frustrated for the first time that he can’t touch Kyuhyun. And so he sat down beside Kyuhyun, cried with him and whispered: I promise I’ll fall in love with you too, Kyuhyun. In the next life, if we meet again, I promise I’ll fall in love with you... again.
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Kyuhyun fell asleep on the floor that night. When his sudden tears subside, he fell asleep and Sungmin couldn’t move him to the bed. So he sat down beside him, and watch Kyuhyun sleep and he thought that inasmuch as Kyuhyun wants to touch him, he, too, wants to touch Kyuhyun, to feel his skin, to keep him warm, to tell him the things that only gentle touches could tell him. If he’s not a mere flower, Sungmin would touch him. He would go to places Kyuhyun wants to go to, cook for him, hug him when it’s cold, bop him on the head when he’s idiotic... do all the things that only humans can do.
But he’s simply a flower. Nothing more than a flower.
“You can touch him if you wish hard enough for it,” someone said and Sungmin jumped a little when a familiar face greeted him.
“Ah!” Sungmin exclaimed, pointing at the man who was suddenly sitting in front of him. “You... you’re that... that... you granted my wish the first time!” He exclaimed.
The man smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
“What are you, exactly?” Sungmin asked.
The man shrugged again.
“I go by many names,” he said. “But most of the time, people simply call me Wish,” he said.
“W...ish?” Sungmin repeated and the man nodded.
“Yes, Wish,” he said. “I grant the longing of pure hearts. Only those whose pure wishes reach my ears get the chance to see me and have their longings granted,” he smiled gently at Sungmin and touched his head gently, as if he’s petting an animal. “Now tell me, little flower, what is it that you want?”
Sungmin opened his mouth to speak, all the while staring at the man patting his head.
“I...,” he said, his gaze jumping towards Kyuhyun’s sleeping face. “I... he,” he turned to the man patting him. “He... at least once... please...let me... touch him.”
Wish raised an eyebrow and smiled when he looked at Kyuhyun.
“Why do you want to touch him? You could wish to be human, instead. Why do you want something as simple as touching him?” He asked, feigning innocence.
Sungmin contemplated for a second.
“I...,” he said. “If I wish to be human... would he... still accept me?”
Wish shrugged.
“That depends on him,” he said.
“Then...,” Sungmin reached out to try and touch Kyuhyun’s hair. “Please let me touch him at least once. I’d rather be able to touch him while he still accepts me. That one moment is enough rather than be able to touch him when he rejects me... please...just once...”
Wish smiled at Sungmin and leaned down to kiss him on his head. Sungmin closed his eyes and relished the feeling, wondering why he’s feeling warm all of a sudden.
“Hey, little flower,” he said. “You’re entitled to as many wishes as you want and only those you really want to come true will come true. Believe and it’s already given to you...,” he said in a voice that fades away together with him.
When all that’s left is a momentary weird feeling, Sungmin was left confused and in awe, wondering if he’s simply imagined everything.
He dismissed everything as an illusion and slept beside Kyuhyun, wondering what he would do if indeed his wish was granted.
----------------------
The smell of smoke and panicking people woke Kyuhyun up from his deep slumber. The moment he opened his eyes, his throat felt blocked and the thick smoke prevented him from breathing properly. As soon as his wits came back to him, he jumped up and realized that something is burning. The house is burning. Fear crept up in his heart and his survival instinct kicked in. Turning to his right, he saw Sungmin fast asleep, mouth slightly opened.
“Sungmin! Yah! Sungmin!” Kyuhyun called, wanting to shake the other but knowing that his touches would not mean anything. He tried to shout again but the thick smoke prevented him and he hacked violently, waking Sungmin.
“What? W...hat?” Sungmin mumbled when Kyuhyun violently shouted his name.
“SUNGMIN! The house is burning!” Kyuhyun said urgently and Sungmin jumped to his feet. “We need to get out!”
The fire licked every single thing is touches and the house burned red as if they’re in hell. Unbearable heat radiated from all angles and Kyuhyun urgently touched the door knob, only for his hands to be scalded and he yelped in pain releasing his hold on the knob.
“Kyuhyun!” Sungmin said, startled, scared.
“The damn thing won’t open!” Kyuhyun said amidst his violent coughing. The smoke thickened, like fog descending from the heavens. Outside, the sounds of people panicking could be heard and Kyuhyun felt fear engulf his whole being.
“Window! Your bedroom window! Jump from there!” Sungmin said urgently and he unconsciously grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand, only for his own hands to slip through Kyuhyun’s flesh. Tears of frustration and fear welled up in his eyes. “Kyuhyun! Your bedroom window!”
Coughing and hacking, Kyuhyun mustered all his strength to walk towards his bedroom and kick the door open. More smoke greeted him and he fell down on his knees, coughing, the world almost turning black. Sungmin’s voice sounded in his ears, urging him to keep moving.
“Kyuhyun! The window! Go!”
The world has become blurry and hazy and in the corner of Kyuhyun’s vision, the pitiful flower by the windowsill looked wilted and dry.
“Kyuhyun!” Sungmin’s urgently called him again.
With his last ounce of strength and with the smoke and heat as his enemy, Kyuhyun stood up and threw himself towards the window.
“Kyuhyun!”
The glass broke and Kyuhyun felt himself suspended in the air for a few seconds before the frightening descent began. In his ears, Sungmin’s shouts never ceased and Kyuhyun closed his eyes, bracing himself for the nasty fall. He fell and fell and fell and when he hit something solid, pain exploded on his shoulder and the clear groans from someone brought him back to semi-reality. Voices sounded in his ears and he vaguely heard someone saying how his neighbor’s house caught fire first because of faulty electric wiring.
He blinked, wondering if he’s still alive and for a brief second he heard and felt nothing until a tiny voice sounded in his ears.
“Are you... okay?”
Kyuhyun froze, his heart feeling constricted for he can knew who that voice belongs to. Painful movement occurred from underneath him and when Kyuhyun gained focus, he saw Sungmin beneath him, cushioning his fall, face in a painful expression.
“S...Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun murmured, panic evident in his voice.
Sungmin smiled at him.
“Hey... look,” he gasped. “I... got to touch you...”
The world stopped at that moment and the only sounds that Kyuhyun could hear were the sounds of his own heartbeat. He could feel hands touching his chest and the unmistakable warmth of a body beneath him. His lips trembled and his hands shook as he realized that Sungmin was holding him - truly holding him, fingers warm against his skin, breath tickling his neck.
“Sungmin.... how...?”
“I think someone up there is listening, Kyuhyun-ah... someone up there... is listening...,” Sungmin grimaced, his breath catching in his throat, his breath coming out in painful wisps.
“Sungmin!” Kyuhyun panicked. He was about to stand up and shout for help when Sungmin grasped his dislocated shoulder, making Kyuhyun cry out in pain.
“Don’t,” Sungmin said. “They can’t see me. They’ll think you’re crazy,” he warned.
“But... you... Sungmin... what if...,” Kyuhyun fearfully stuttered, wanting to express his anxiety over losing Sungmin. Just as he was about to speak once again, he heard the painfully familiar sound of something breaking beside him. He turned to find Sungmin’s flower pot shattered in pieces when it fell to the ground and the tiny yellow flower lying wilted, dying, on the ground.
A significant pause occurred in Kyuhyun world and for a brief moment he thought he completely lost his sanity as he started shouting: “Someone! Someone please! Someone help us! He’s hurt!” And the spectators around him wondered if the fall broke his mind as well. Someone grabbed him and restrained him as his dislocated shoulder throbbed in extreme levels of pain.
“Kyuhyun...” Sungmin’s small voice sounded in his ears and Kyuhyun found a momentary oasis. He struggled against someone’s grip and reached out to touch Sungmin’s face.
And he touched Sungmin’s face.
Soft and warm skin met his fingers and Kyuhyun cried out as Sungmin’s tears stained his skin.
“Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun cried, feeling Sungmin’s hands grasping his own.
The sounds of the panicking crowd faded away and the spring moon decided to show its face at that moment. The warm breeze blew and sang a long lost melody. Kyuhyun couldn’t care less about the people restraining his movements and his only reality at that moment was the fact the Sungmin... his little flower... his Sungmin is touching him. His Sungmin is grasping his hand, keeping him grounded to sanity.
“If...,” Sungmin’s voice sound strained in his ears as if any moment, he’s going to disappear. “If... if indeed he’ll grant my wish... then Kyuhyun... in another life... in another life I won’t be a flower anymore,” his voice cracked and Kyuhyun struggled more against the person restraining him when he saw visible tears on Sungmin’s face. “I promise, I won’t be a flower anymore. And I’ll hold you... I’ll hold you as much as you want me to...”
“Sungmin...”
“I’ll be born as your lover and if there will be ice cream in that lifetime, we’ll eat it together. Okay? Okay?”
“O...,” Kyuhyun choked. “Okay...”
“And you promised, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin said. “You promised to fall in love with me again. You promised...” he held up his pinky finger and Kyuhyun linked it with his, flesh touching flesh, skin touching skin, heart linking another heart, soul pulling another soul... together... forever... in various lifetimes to come.
“I promise,” Kyuhyun said and Sungmin smiled and when the moon once again hid behind the night clouds, he slowly turned into a fading silhouette right in front of Kyuhyun’s eyes. Kyuhyun wanted to protest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry but instead, in his darkening vision, Sungmin’s melodic voice calmed him down, saying:
We’ll meet again, for sure but for now... please... remember me...
----------------------------
“Hey... do you really think they’ll find each other again?”
Ryeowook grinned and arrogantly shrugged his shoulders.
“I told you, I don’t think so,” he said and winked at Yesung. “I know so.”
----------------------------
The wind that day is chilly and the sun suddenly decided to hide behind thick, blackish clouds. The air is wet with an impending rain and the streetlights are blurry amidst the descending fog. Early spring is in the air and the smell of ramyun penetrates the icy surroundings.
Lee Sungmin is running late for class that day and his clay project is in danger of being rejected by that crazy professor. Holding the clay project in his hand, he weaved his way through a sea of busy people. The traffic jam is particularly bad that day and Seoul is busy with the sounds of a rushing crowd. A few meters away from his university, rain started pouring and Sungmin slightly cursed for not bringing an umbrella with him. Worried that his clay project might get wet and soften, Sungmin dashed around and took temporary shelter in front of a bookstore. He took special interest in a novel displayed on the transparent glass.
The Red Strings, the novel boasted and Sungmin chuckled at the cheesy title. The rain got heavier and a few minutes later, someone shared Sungmin’s shelter, bumping shoulders with him and causing the clay project to almost fall to the ground.
“Yah~,” Sungmin said, annoyed and relieved that he managed to save the product of weeks of hard labor. “That might have caused me my midterm grade, you know,” he said.
“Sorry,” the man muttered and pulled his scarf around his neck tighter. He glanced at Sungmin’s clay project and smiled. “A yellow flower in a flower pot? Very creative,” he said, almost mockingly.
Sungmin looked at him, intending to fire endless complaints at the man but instead, he found himself staring at an almost familiar, smiling stranger. Sungmin frowned. What is so familiar about this man? Something is poking at the edges of his memories, bringing in a sense of déjà vu. The man ignored Sungmin’s stares and instead held out his hand to play with the rain and something inside Sungmin ached, the way it aches when he misses someone special.
“Have we...,” Sungmin started to say but instead chose to leave his sentence hanging. “Nevermind.”
The man’s shrugged, his shoulders once again touching Sungmin’s and an onslaught of bittersweet feelings filled him like water quickly filling a jar. But it happens, he thought. It happens to total strangers. In the hundreds of thousands of people roaming around Seoul every single day, Sungmin could’ve bumped shoulders with the man without him knowing.
When the rain seemed to have no plans on stopping, Sungmin made a move to run and the man beside him simply commented, “That flower’s going to get destroyed, you know.”
Sungmin tried to roll his eyes at him and was surprised when the man took off his scarf and covered Sungmin’s clay project with it.
“What...?”
“Use it,” the man said. “That flower’s too pretty to get wet. And whenever you see the scarf, remember the stranger who helped you,” he said and gave Sungmin a peace sign before dashing off amidst the heavily pouring rain. Sungmin stared at the man’s back, feeling a bit suffocated at the nostalgia surging through him.
He shrugged when he regained his composure and dashed towards his university, making a mental note to return the scarf when he sees the man again.
-------------------------
Lee Sungmin met the stranger again several days after when the spring sun is busy dancing in the sky. The wind is still a little chilly but the air is calm with the promise of warmer days to come. The trees have grown new leaves and the smell of ramyun is still heavy in the air. There’s a new ice cream shop that opened in the corner of the street and amidst the chilly air, there’s a steady line of people waiting to be seated. Curiosity beat Sungmin and he quietly fell in line, earphones pressed to his ears as he hums his favorite song. When he reached the counter, he was surprised to find a familiar looking man smiling at him.
“Ah!” The man exclaimed.
“Ah!” Sungmin exclaimed at the same time and a few minutes later, they were seated in one of the window seats, enjoying a healthy serving of ice cream.
“So this is your shop?” Sungmin asked.
“Mhmm,” the man said.
“ehhh....,” Sungmin exclaimed, looking around the brightly lit ice cream shop. “Nice. But you’re weird to open an ice cream shop at this time of year,” he said.
“But it’s appreciated pretty well,” the man smiled. Sungmin stared at him, the bittersweet nostalgic feeling once again filling his soul.
“Ah, I have your scarf, by the way,” Sungmin said and fished out the scarf from his bag and handed it to the man, their fingers touching as he did so. Sungmin flinched a little at the warmness that met his skin, the familiarity of it shocking him a little. He looked at the man and he knew that he was not the only one who felt it.
“What’s your name?” The man asked.
“Lee... Sungmin,” Sungmin answered, trying to find a name to the emotions running through him. “You?”
“Cho Kyuhyun,” the man answered, his curious gaze lingering on Sungmin’s face.
“Cho... Kyuhyun,” Sungmin repeated, the name bringing in a new sense of nostalgia and for some reason, he’s suddenly reminded of spring, ice cream and rainy days. There’s something familiar about the man, as if Sungmin have known him since long ago. The way his hair casually falls to his face, the shape of his eyes, his lips, his nose... it felt as if Sungmin have spent countless days staring at his features. It felt weird and inexplicably painful at the same time.
Kyuhyun looked as if he wanted to ask something.
“Have we... known each other before?” He finally asked and Sungmin burst out laughing.
“Yah... that’s exactly what I wanted to ask you. I mean... you look familiar and even your name sounds familiar. Cho Kyuhyun... Cho Kyuhyun...,” Sungmin unconsciously smiled. “See? It sounds familiar!” He exclaimed.
Kyuhyun laughed - weird, amused and loud and Sungmin liked it. It’s the kind of laughter that grows on people and makes them smile weirdly. It’s the kind of laughter that not many people can appreciate and it’s the kind of laughter that makes Sungmin want to laugh along with him. How many people, Sungmin wondered, laugh the way Kyuhyun laughs? And how many people get interested in another person just because he likes the way that person laughs?
The universe, truly, is full of strange people. And Sungmin think he’s one of them.
“You have a weird laugh, did you know?” Sungmin asked and Kyuhyun showed off by laughing more.
“I know. But you seem to like it,” Kyuhyun observed.
One by one, little by little, the walls crumbled between them.
“How’s your yellow flower?” Kyuhyun asked.
“It’s with my instructor,” Sungmin said in between mouthfuls of ice cream.
“You think I can have your number?” Kyuhyun asked.
Sungmin grinned and took out his phone.
“Only if I can have yours,” he countered and the laugh that he grew fond of in a span of minutes sounded in his ears. Kyuhyun brought out his phone, ate his ice cream and cracked up when Sungmin asked him if the second serving would be free.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun called when Sungmin walked towards the exit door, rubbing his tummy and commenting about how free ice cream best eaten on cold spring days.
“Yeah?” Sungmin looked back and for a second took Kyuhyun’s breath away with the way the playful spring sunlight dance on his face.
“You think I can call you tonight?” Kyuhyun asked and Sungmin grinned after flashing him a playful peace sign. Kyuhyun smiled, an inexplicable understanding forming between them. He watched as Sungmin disappears behind his ice cream shop’s door, the tiny tinkling bells on the door knob wishing him a safe journey home.
Kyuhyun could not explain why but as he watched Sungmin bounce away, he’s reminded of a dancing yellow flower on someone else’s windowsill.
----------------------------
“See? I told you they’ll find each other,” Ryeowook commented, poking Yesung playfully.
Yesung stayed silent and watched as Kyuhyun dialled Sungmin’s number that night. And suddenly, as if it only happened yesterday, he’s reminded of a certain yellow flower’s innocent wish to touch an ordinary man named Cho Kyuhyun. It was a wish that he had granted and a wish that pulled two souls to travel one and the same road. And Yesung is sure that in the next lifetimes to come, in whatever circumstances life may find those two souls, they’ll continue to wish for each other.
Because that’s how fate and faith work. Maybe Ryeowook’s strings won’t mean a thing without faith. Maybe Ryeowook’s strings would remain to be simple strings if people won’t pull it themselves. Maybe that’s why wishes are there - to push and pull two people together so that at the end of the day, when the strings connecting their hearts are tugged, stretched and aching, they would realize that all along, there’s nowhere else they should be but by each other’s sides.
Yesung sighed and continued watching, wondering if those two will ever find wish for each other in this lifetime. His pondering ended one yellow afternoon, towards the end of spring, when Sungmin suddenly asked Kyuhyun:
“Hey, Kyuhyun, do you know that there are people who believe that a red string connects people together?”
Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin and shook his head.
“No. Do you believe in it?” He asked.
Sungmin blushed and nodded.
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked.
Sungmin stared at him longer than he planned until he exhaled and murmured: “Because I think you hold the other end of mine...”
END.
---------------------------
*enters panda-eyed, expressionless woman*
1. Hello.
2. Happy New Year.
3. Nice to meet you. Please call me WE-DONT-NEED-NO-FREAKING-PLOT NICA from now on. If it’s too long, you can call me Plotless Nica too.
4. I’m warning you, Benny, never comment or I’ll make good of my threat to slice your mouth until it reaches the back of your head.
5. Thank you.
*Plotless Nica leaves*
*BOWS*
Yellow
You are mine, like a sad graduation song.
You are still a small part of this heart of mine.
Your beauty glitters in your eyes.
Like so many stars I hope you will always shine.
-“Me to You, You to Me”
“Hey Fate,” a pouting Wish called his companion who was busy humming while tying strings to yet another bouncy soul. A petite god gave him a nasty frown and Wish rolled his eyes before saying, “Fine, Ryeowook.”
“You are annoying. Over and over, I told you to call me Ryeowook,” Fate stated as he shoos away the bubbly soul. “What is it, Yesung?”
The god named Yesung rubbed his chin for a while before looking at Ryeowook.
“I think you’re cruel,” he said.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened a little.
“What? Why?”
Yesung exhaled, looked down at his feet and pointed at the millions of people roaming the earth like ants hunting for food before a rainy day. The earth is filled with busy people all hurrying to finish some unfulfilled task for the day. Earth is truly a noisy place for a god like Yesung and people’s hearts are raging oceans of wishes. Some people are wishing for wealth, others are wishing for fame, some are wishing to live another day and most are wishing to find that one person to fill the empty spaces in their lives. Wishes come minute after minute, day after day and it’s all in repeating patterns that sometimes, Yesung gets tired of hearing them.
“People can sometimes be stupid creatures, you know,” Yesung said gently, watching as the stupid creatures go about their daily lives without knowing that somehow, in the middle of what seems to be an ordinary circumstance, they’ve already found what they have always been wishing for.
“What if in their lifetime, they never get to find the holder of the other end of their strings? What if somewhere along the way, the strings get tangled and they are led to a wrong destination?” Yesung asked, curious.
Ryeowook smiled and scratched his ears.
“Then they just have to keep looking,” he stated, as if it’s an obvious answer.
“That’s why I think you’re cruel,” Yesung said. “People can’t always follow directions. Some of them - most of them - are simply that stupid. They get lost, they go round and round and worst, they think they’ve arrived at the right destination when in fact they haven’t. What if they spend their lifetimes thinking that they’ve found the other holder of their strings? What if they spend the rest of their life feeling incomplete? Will you allow them to?” Yesung asked.
Ryeowook grinned at the frustrated god.
“That’s what you’re there for, isn’t it? So people can wish to find the other end of their strings,” he said and squatted down, grinning. “Maybe that’s why people should learn to follow their heart. If they do, then it’ll be much easier. Sadly,” Ryeowook looked at Yesung. “That one tiny part of the human body seems to be the trickiest one.”
Yesung rolled his eyes.
“Then, will you stop weaving those red strings?” He asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
Ryeowook’s grin grew wider.
“Because it’s always nice to know that someone is there waiting at the other end of the line.”
--------------------------
“Cho Kyuhyun!” Sungmin’s voice echoed in Kyuhyun’s mind and a second later, a beaming spirit materialized by Kyuhyun’s side while excitedly pointing at something from outside the shoe factory. Kyuhyun jumped a little in his seat and rolled his eyes when Donghae, who was sitting in front of him, flashed him a suspicious glance.
“What?”Kyuhyun mouthed towards Donghae and the other shook his head and turned his back on his co-worker.
“Kyuhyun-ah! Kyuhyun-ah!” Sungmin was almost jumping up and down. Kyuhyun cocked his head towards one side to show the other that he’s listening. Lately, Kyuhyun has developed certain signals to answer Sungmin without looking like a crazed lunatic in front of his co-workers who cannot see or sense Sungmin. Although Sungmin was slow on the pick-up, he nevertheless learned to answer Kyuhyun whenever those signals appear.
“There’s a man with a cart and a tinkling bell and he’s selling some frozen sweets! The kids love it,” Sungmin exclaimed, pointing outside the window. Kyuhyun frowned a little, biting back the urge to call Sungmin an idiot for disturbing him over something as nonsense as foreign sweets.
“Hurry! Hurry! Let’s try it! Ah! The cart man is going away! Ah! The tinkling bells are fading! Ah~ Kyuhyun!”
“No,” Kyuhyun tried to be discreet.
“But Kyuhyun!”
“You can’t eat anyway, for goodness’ sake! You’re a freaking flower!” Kyuhyun blurted out without thinking and quickly regretted it when he was met with curious glances from his co-worker. “ahaha! That’s what my neighbor always say to his daughter,” he tried to cover up and glared at Sungmin who was laughing beside him.
“I’m going to take a little break, hyung,” Kyuhyun informed Donghae and the latter nodded a little, probably weird-ed out by Kyuhyun’s sudden outburst.
Kyuhyun headed towards the rooftop with Sungmin at his heels, imitating the sounds of tinkling bells. Kyuhyun looked back at him and flashed him a nasty look before continuing to head towards the rooftop. It still feels weird having Sungmin clinging to him like a vine would cling to a wall. Wherever he goes, Sungmin is there, whenever he sleeps, he would wake up with Sungmin’s face inches apart from him. Whatever he eats, Sungmin insists on eating too (although the eating part is questionable). If Kyuhyun is at work, Sungmin would be there. If Kyuhyun is out on a stroll, Sungmin would tag along. Slowly, little by little, Sungmin had become a familiar part of Kyuhyun’s everyday routine and the fact that the man is supposed to be an “un-wilting” flower on a pot on Kyuhyun’s windowsill suddenly did not matter at all.
“Hey, Kyuhyun-ah~,” Sungmin whined, taking his usual place beside Kyuhyun when the other started puffing on a lighted cigarette. Kyuhyun did not answer and instead carelessly blew smoke on Sungmin’s face. The spring sun is warm on their backs and the mid-morning air cheerful.
Kyuhyun leaned on the railings and side-eyed Sungmin who was sitting on the railing beside him, feet dangling and swaying to some unknown music, like a flower dancing with the wind.
“A flower,” Kyuhyun thought. Ah yes, a flower. Sungmin is a flower. Sometimes he forgets that Sungmin is not human at all. At night when Sungmin insists on sleeping beside him, Kyuhyun would try to touch Sungmin just to confirm that he has not gone crazy but when his hands touch air when he’s supposed to be grasping Sungmin’s hand, Kyuhyun also doubts his own sanity. Is this some kind of a trick? Is Sungmin for real? Because from what Kyuhyun knows (and believes) spirits and flowers turning into humans only happen in out-of-this world novels.
“I wonder who it is,” Kyuhyun said after a while.
“What?” Sungmin asked.
Kyuhyun blew another smoke on Sungmin’s face.
“You told me before that you’re looking for the holder of the other end of your so-called strings,” he said. “I wonder who it is. I mean, I told you I’m going to help you look for that person. But until now, all we ever did is simply live together,” Kyuhyun said.
Sungmin grinned and tried to hit Kyuhyun on the shoulder yet, just like many times before, his hand simply went through the other’s body. He was not able to hide the disappointed look on his face.
“I like living with you,” Sungmin smiled after a while. “I like being your flower,” he added and Kyuhyun gagged on air.
“Yah,” Kyuhyun chided. “That sounds weird coming from you.”
“Ahh~” Sungmin stretched and jumped down from the railing. “Why can’t it be you, Kyuhyun-ah?” he pouted a little.
“What?”
“My string,” Sungmin said. “Why can’t you be the other end of my string?” He stared at Kyuhyun, wide eyes glowing and expectant.
Kyuhyun looked back at Sungmin for a brief moment, wondering where and when the drumming in his heart started. He swallowed unconsciously and choked a little on the cigarette smoke. The bouncy spirit is standing so close to him, eyes wide, skin glowing, smile warm, almost as if he is human, almost as if he is inviting Kyuhyun to touch him.
And Kyuhyun suddenly wanted to touch him.
Kyuhyun slowly raises his right hand, wanting to confirm for a second time that he’s not crazy and Sungmin is human. Why he suddenly wants Sungmin to be human, he couldn’t quite explain it himself. All he knows is that in that moment, in that one brief moment, he wants Sungmin to be human and touch him.
“Hey, I think you have it, the other end of my string.”
As if they escaped from somewhere, flashes of someone else’s memories went through Kyuhyun in that instant. Laughter, quiet conversations, sunsets, winter nights, oil lamps and playful shadows - for a brief moment, Kyuhyun felt as if they were his. Kyuhyun felt as if somewhere, somehow, Sungmin had been a part of those memories.
“Kyuhyun-ah~ I like you, Kyuhyun-ah~.”
“Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun-ah!”
Kyuhyun blinked, the memories suddenly fading and he noticed his hand going through the side of Sungmin’s face. In any other circumstance it would have been funny. Sungmin is staring at him, calling his name while Kyuhyun’s hand is invading what was supposed to be an impenetrable part of Sungmin’s body. In any other circumstance, it really would have been funny but Kyuhyun stood there, suddenly confused, suddenly frustrated that he could not touch Sungmin. Why can’t he touch Sungmin? He wished he could touch Sungmin.
“Would you be so kind as to pull your hand from my face?” Sungmin asked and to his surprise, Kyuhyun laughed. He choked on air for the third time, laughed some more and walked away, calling Sungmin an idiot. Sungmin stared at his back and grinned, deciding that it’s the right time to persuade Kyuhyun to eat that lovely new dessert.
“Kyuhyun-ah! Let’s eat the sweets with the tinkling bells!” Sungmin said as he bounded after Kyuhyun.
“Shut up, you can’t even eat!” Kyuhyun retorted and laughed some more, not really knowing why he was laughing in the first place.
------------------------------
Kyuhyun have lived and witnessed so many springs coming and going in his lifetime. They all come and go unnoticed to him, like a wind that blows one moment then disappears the next. There are probably one or two spring memories that Kyuhyun remembers but other than that, everything is jumbled up in his mind and it’s difficult to figure out which season the memories belong to. Yet, as he stares out the window one lazy Saturday afternoon with Sungmin pouting (and most probably bored) beside him, Kyuhyun knew that he already accumulated a lifetime’s worth of spring memories.
Maybe it all started with wanting to touch Sungmin - that incessant and almost painful need to feel the other’s skin beneath Kyuhyun’s touch and confirm that he has not gone crazy; that Sungmin is as real as anyone Kyuhyun has ever encountered in his life. Yet, each time he tries to touch the other, he could feel nothing more than empty air and Sungmin would look at him with mixed emotions as if begging Kyuhyun to confirm his own existence.
“Have you ever tried touching anyone?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly.
Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun for a while before bursting into hysteric fits of laughter.
“What kind of question is that? It sounds perverted,” Sungmin remarked.
“Aish... ai... yah~,” Kyuhyun whined, wanting to punch Sungmin on the face. If only he could touch him. “That’s not what I meant! You pervert flower,” he said, faking annoyance.
Sungmin laughed and Kyuhyun refused to look at him, choosing instead to stare at the wide open blue sky above them.
“I tried touching you last night,” Sungmin admitted and instantaneously, Kyuhyun whipped his head and stared at him.
“Where?” He asked, suddenly alarmed.
Sungmin laughed again, remarking how perverted that question was.
“Where?” He choked on laughter. “Here, on the bed, of course,” he continued laughing and started pointing out how Kyuhyun’s face had grown redder.
Kyuhyun stared incredulously at Sungmin, suddenly aware of his own body.
“You pervert flower, you pervert flower,” he kept murmuring.
“hihihi,” Sungmin simple laughed, poking Kyuhyun every now and then, his fingers passing through Kyuhyun’s skin, leaving Kyuhyun with a cold sensation. “I wanted to touch you, you know,” Sungmin suddenly said when he stopped laughing.
“I think it’s important,” Sungmin continued. “Being able to touch someone, that is. I think it’s important.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Sungmin said. “My previous owner, the woman I told you about, she likes to touch people. Whenever she talks to them, she would touch them. Sometimes she would touch them gently, sometimes roughly. Sometimes they smile, sometimes they don’t. And I think they can tell,” Sungmin grins at Kyuhyun. “I think they can tell how much she loves them when she touches them and I think that sometimes, when words get too difficult to say, human needs something more to make another person feel how they feel.”
Kyuhyun stayed silent for a moment and simply watched Sungmin pouting. The dancing yellow flower near him caught his attention and without a word, he reached out and touched the fragile petal gently, softly, as if he’s scared that it would be ruined. Beside him, Sungmin closed his eyes and exhaled softly, as if he could feel Kyuhyun touching him and in that few seconds, Kyuhyn felt as if a tiny bit of space between them suddenly disappeared - as if Sungmin could really feel Kyuhyun touching him.
“I want it to be you, Kyuhyun-ah,” Sungmin whispered.
“Hmm?”
“The other end of my string,” Sungmin said. “I want it to be you,” he opened his eyes and grinned at Kyuhyun, making tiny “hihihi” sounds when Kyuhyun looked back at him. The human swallowed a little, wondering, really wondering, why the drumming in his heart intensified.
Sungmin winked at him grossly and instead of retaliating with annoyance, Kyuhyun laughed. He liked the way Sungmin looked so stupid doing that gross wink. He does not know why but he liked it.
Then again, most of us probably experience that moment when something that’s supposed to be so superficial and simple start to mean something more. A laugh, a wink, a weird body movement, they captivate us in ways that no other person can understand. Maybe that’s how special feelings of fondness start. It’s like finding that one person whose laugh amuse us in ways we can’t explain and suddenly, no other person can laugh the way that person laughs and no other person’s laugh amuses us as much. The fondness starts from there then develops into amusement then amusement develops into complicated feelings and finally, it develops into love.
Love...
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly.
“Why what?” Sungmin asked back.
“The other of your string...why do you want me to be that person?” Kyuhyun asked again.
Sungmin giggled and scooted closer to Kyuhyun. Pale light from outside streamed through the window and the shadows dance on Sungmin’s face. Kyuhyun moved away a little, suddenly awkward at the closeness. For a second they sat side by side, like nervous teenagers out on a first date. The spring scents filter in through the air, bringing back distant memories that were probably theirs in another life. Kyuhyun exhaled a little and Sungmin imitated him with a smile.
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked again, feeling a little warm and he’s so sure that the feelings are not from the sunlight embracing him.
“I think you’re a good person,” Sungmin said. He shrugged and stared at Kyuhyun. “People like you are probably difficult to find,” he continued as Kyuhyun stared at him. “I’m happy enough to have met you the way I am right now. Imagine how good it would be to be connected to you and find you again and again in each of the lifetimes I live,” he smiled.
Something inside Kyuhyun melted and for some reason he felt like crying. With his eyes fixated on Sungmin, he reached out and tried to touch the other’s face. Kyuhyun closed his eyes and images of Sungmin play beneath his eyelids.
“Kyu...hyun?” Sungmin whispered. “What is it?”
“Shh,” Kyuhyun shushed him. “I want to touch you...,” he said, almost frustrated. “Why can’t I touch you?”
Silence flowed around them for long heartbeats and Kyuhyun’s imagination is filled with only images of Sungmin. He tried to imagine touching Sungmin’s face, reaching out to him and feeling his skin beneath his fingertips. Sungmin smiled in his imagination and he reached out too to touch Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun savored that moment when Sungmins cold fingers met his cheeks. If feelings really could be conveyed through touching, Kyuhyun wondered what feelings he’s conveying to Sungmin right now.
“Kyuhyun...,” Sungmin’s voice sounded.
“Hmm?” Kyuhyun opened his eyes only to find his hand once again invading Sungmin’s face. “Ooops?” He simply said and broke the atmosphere with an awkward laugh.
Sungmin pouted at him and Kyuhyun turned his back on him.
“Hey Kyuhyun-ah,” Sungmin called with a teasing voice. “Are you falling in love with a flower?” He teased.
“Aish... no!” Kyuhyun defended strongly and yet, within him, something inside is nudging at his heart, telling him that maybe... just maybe... he already started falling.
-------------------------
It rained one sunny spring afternoon several weeks later. It’s a weird sight, a weird combination of sunlight and dazzling raindrops as if the weather has finally decided to go crazy. The raindrops reflect the sun and scatters light everywhere and the earth appeared to be dazzling that day. There’s a gentle wind blowing from the east and the leaves happily shake from their branches.
Kyuhyun was busy repairing an old bicycle in his backyard when the rain started pouring. Sungmin, who was beside him, suddenly started exclaiming “Oh it’s a fox rain! Fox rain!” While Kyuhyun scampered to seek shelter beneath an overhang roof, Sungmin started dancing funny under the fox rain, relishing the feel of the first spring rain of the year.
“Yah!” Kyuhyun shouted. “Are you that excited about the rain?”
Sungmin grinned at him and flashed him a brilliant, excited smile.
“What? Am I not allowed to be excited?” He teased. “I’m a flower and flowers love rain!” He said and started his silly dance once again.
Kyuhyun watched him from where he stands, unconsciously smiling at the dancing Sungmin. The raindrops pass through his body, creating a semi-silhouette of a silly dancer. The reflected lights from the still shining sun made the silhouette glow as if Sungmin is an illusion that’s supposed to disappear in time.
Kyuhyun blinked.
Illusion.
What if Sungmin is indeed only his illusion? What if he is meant to disappear after all this craziness is over? What if one day, when Kyuhyun wakes up, Sungmin’s stupid sleeping face won’t greet him anymore? What if suddenly, the yellow flower by his windowsill disappears? What would he do? What if Sungmin leaves without Kyuhyun getting to touch him and feel his fingers touching Sungmin’s skin? He wants to touch Sungmin.
Thinking about those things made something inside him constrict and Kyuhyun touched his chest, as if by touching, he could confirm why he suddenly dread the day Sungmin would disappear from his life.
“Sungmin,” Kyuhyun called.
“Yeah?” Sungmin asked, wriggling his butt as part of his stupid dance.
“What if all of these are simply illusions?” Kyuhyun asked. Sungmin stopped dancing and faced Kyuhyun, hands on his hips. The fox rain toned down into soft drizzles and for a moment, the world seemed to be glowing. Silence enveloped the atmosphere in that short instance, as if the world is mesmerized that the sun and the rain can exist at the same time. Sungmin exhaled and stood beside Kyuhyun, reaching out towards the softening rain as if he can touch the raindrops if he did so.
“It’s cold. Try it,” Sungmin commented at the rain. Without a word, Kyuhyun reached out too and felt the rain in his hands.
“Yeah,” Kyuhyun commented awkwardly. “Cold.”
Sungmin smiled at him. They stood in silence, feeling the cold rain land on their palms. Sungmin felt so small standing beside Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun weirdly liked the way it felt. In that moment, unknown feelings of nostalgia washed over Kyuhyun, as if he’d done the same thing in the past, standing beside Sungmin and Sungmin feeling small beside him. His heart ached with longing he cannot understand and his need to touch Sungmin increased as if his hands would burn if he won’t be able to touch him.
“It feels good,” Sungmin started.
“Hmm?”
“If this is an illusion, at least we shared a memory of standing here, feeling the rain together,” Sungmin smiled. “When you’re older and probably senile and forgetful, you’ll get to mix up memories and think that some illusions are realities,” he turned to face Kyuhyun completely. “And then probably this moment will come back to you when I’m standing beside you and we just... feel the rain together. And then for that brief instant... you’ll see me as a reality and not simply an illusion. You’ll forget I’m simply a flower and think that if you remember something as simple as feeling the rain together, I must be someone special. I like to be special,” he said, his confusing words sounding so bitter and so sweet to Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun chose to remain silent and instead settled to watching the half rainbow that formed in the sky.
“The sweet dessert you wanted is called ice cream,” Kyuhyun said randomly.
“Ah really?”
“Yes,” Kyuhyun swallowed. “Let’s eat some together, sometime.”
“Haha. I’m a flower and I can’t eat,” Sungmin accepted the reality.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun murmured.
“Yeah?”
“If in another lifetime after this, you were given the chance to be born as a human and I’m given another chance to be human too,” Kyuhyun explored. “Do you think we’d meet again? Would you want to meet me again?”
Sungmin did not answer for some time.
“Will you eat ice cream together with me, then?” Sungmin joked and Kyuhyun laughed while nodding. “Then I want to meet you again,” he smiled and reached out to touch Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun closed his eyes and strained himself to feel Sungmin touching him and for a brief second, he thought he felt the slightest feel of cold fingers grazing his cheeks.
Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun opened his eyes.
“I’ll make you do things for me,” Sungmin said. “If I’ll be a woman in my next life, I’ll make you go to the market with me every single day. I’ll make you cook, I’ll make you knit, I’ll even force you to sew clothes for me,” he joked. “If I’ll be born as your child, I’ll annoy you by crying. If I’ll be born as your friend, I’ll drink with you until we’re senseless,” he laughed. “If... if I’ll be born as your lover...,” he cleared his throat. “Kyuhyun, if I’ll be born as your lover...”
Kyuhyun looked away when he felt a painful tugging at his heart.
“Do you think there’ll still be ice cream during that time?” He flashed a teary smile.
“Mhmm...”
“If you’ll be born as my lover, then let’s have some together then,” Kyuhyun said and raised his pinky finger, signalling the beginnings of a promise.
Sungmin grinned and raised his own pinky finger, giggling at how it simply passes through Kyuhyun’s hands.
“Mhmm... let’s eat some together.”
Kyuhyun doesn’t know about Sungmin, but in that moment, as their fingers passes through each other’s, Kyuhyun has every intention to fulfill every word.
“Hey, Sungmin, I think I have it... the other end of your string.”
---------------------
Kyuhyun has never fallen in love before. All his life, he thought that he’s not the type to fall in love. Serving during the war hardened him the way stones are hardened through time. Yet, when Sungmin came to his life and he started doubting his sanity, he also started doubting whether stones are truly stones and can’t fall in love because in the months that Sungmin has wreaked havoc with his sanity, Kyuhyun started to be fully aware of him.
Sometimes, when sleep doesn’t come to him at night and Sungmin insist on snuggling beside Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun would lie awake in bed, staring at Sungmin snoring beside him and wonder how it would feel if Sungmin was human and Kyuhyun was his lover. When Sungmin would disappear for hours, chasing after the tinkling bells from the ice cream man, Kyuhyun would find himself constantly staring at the door, worried and fidgety that Sungmin might not come back.
He’s so sure that he’s gone insane and Sungmin is a product of his mind betraying him.
“I don’t know why, but you’re sounding like a crazy person to me right now,” Donghae told him as they share a bottle of soju after work that day. Sungmin surprisingly did not tag along, saying something about Kyuhyun needing his privacy every now and then. Kyuhyun wanted to welcome the silence but he found himself constantly murmuring things, as if Sungmin is beside him and with his confused state, he asked Donghae out for a drink.
“I mean, who the hell falls in love with an illusion?” Donghae continued, grimacing as the soju travels down his throat.
“Love?” Kyuhyun asked, bewildered. “I’m in love?”
Donghae shrugged. “You sound like you’re in love,” he said.
“But...”
“Look,” Donghae interrupted him. “If you’re too concerned about him and if you constantly look for him wherever you are, and if you find it difficult to breathe when he’s not around, you’re most probably in love. Before I married my wife, we separated countless times and in those moments between separation and being together again, I constantly find myself wandering back to the places we’ve gone to together, unconsciously hoping that I would see her face,” Donghae narrated, his eyes sparkling. “And when I indeed see her, when her familiar face stands out from the crowd, I don’t know why but I feel happiness surging through me as if I’m so relieved that she’s there, I can see her, she’s right there.”
“And that’s how you know you’re in love?” Kyuhyun asked.
Donghae nodded, once again grimacing at his soju.
“Yes! But more than that,” he made a weird sound. “More than that, Kyuhyun, I think when you’ve truly found someone who holds the other half of your heart, you can’t feel complete without the person. Something would always be missing, something inside would always be painful. Sooner or later, you’ll lose that person and the pain would be unbearable. But I think that’s how you know you’ve really loved.”
“Love is not all about the bliss and the happiness... sometimes, you confirm its existence through pain.”
Kyuhyun stared at his senior, somehow amazed at how philosophical he sounded. He touched his heart and thought of Sungmin suddenly disappearing from his life and he thought he understood a little what Donghae meant.
And so that night, Kyuhyun came home a little drunk, a little confused. As soon as he opened the door, a jolly Sungmin greeted him and started talking about the funny tinkling bells he followed all day. His face was so bright and so happy that Kyuhyun started to wonder how he survived those days when Sungmin was not beside him. Something inside seemed to have been pulled and tied together with Sungmin’s strings.
“Sungmin,” Kyuhyun said when Sungmin stopped talking.
“What is it?” Sungmin grinned.
“If you’re born again as a human, I promise,” Kyuhyun said, wondering why his throat suddenly felt scratchy. “I promise to fall in love with you again,” he said.
“A...gain?” Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun, eyes wide and blinking, pondering on the meaning of Kyuhyun’s words. In that moment, memories from long forgotten days flooded in his mind and he’s so sure... so sure that in the past, once upon a time, he must have been human too. And he must have loved someone special. Once upon a time, so many years ago, he must have fallen in love with Kyuhyun. Only with Kyuhyun.
“Donghae-hyung said that sooner or later,” Kyuhyun choked. “Sooner or later, we’ll lose important people and...,” his voice got scratchy. “And I thought... I thought that it’s inevitable for me to lose you too. That’s why,” a treacherous tear fell from his eyes. “That’s why I want to make a promise... that in the next lifetimes to come, I’ll meet you. I’ll meet you and definitely fall in love. Sungmin, I’ll...,” he sniffed and refused to continue his sentence.
Something scratched at Sungmin’s throat too and until that moment, he didn’t realize that flowers are capable of crying too.
“Then let’s make a promise,” he said, choking on the tears forming at his throat. “That if we meet each other in the countless lifetimes that lie ahead, aside from eating ice cream, let’s make a promise to fall in love,” he smiled and Kyuhyun, instead of answering him burst into painful, drunken tears, his body sliding to the floor.
A confused Sungmin didn’t know what to do, feeling frustrated for the first time that he can’t touch Kyuhyun. And so he sat down beside Kyuhyun, cried with him and whispered: I promise I’ll fall in love with you too, Kyuhyun. In the next life, if we meet again, I promise I’ll fall in love with you... again.
-------------------------
Kyuhyun fell asleep on the floor that night. When his sudden tears subside, he fell asleep and Sungmin couldn’t move him to the bed. So he sat down beside him, and watch Kyuhyun sleep and he thought that inasmuch as Kyuhyun wants to touch him, he, too, wants to touch Kyuhyun, to feel his skin, to keep him warm, to tell him the things that only gentle touches could tell him. If he’s not a mere flower, Sungmin would touch him. He would go to places Kyuhyun wants to go to, cook for him, hug him when it’s cold, bop him on the head when he’s idiotic... do all the things that only humans can do.
But he’s simply a flower. Nothing more than a flower.
“You can touch him if you wish hard enough for it,” someone said and Sungmin jumped a little when a familiar face greeted him.
“Ah!” Sungmin exclaimed, pointing at the man who was suddenly sitting in front of him. “You... you’re that... that... you granted my wish the first time!” He exclaimed.
The man smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
“What are you, exactly?” Sungmin asked.
The man shrugged again.
“I go by many names,” he said. “But most of the time, people simply call me Wish,” he said.
“W...ish?” Sungmin repeated and the man nodded.
“Yes, Wish,” he said. “I grant the longing of pure hearts. Only those whose pure wishes reach my ears get the chance to see me and have their longings granted,” he smiled gently at Sungmin and touched his head gently, as if he’s petting an animal. “Now tell me, little flower, what is it that you want?”
Sungmin opened his mouth to speak, all the while staring at the man patting his head.
“I...,” he said, his gaze jumping towards Kyuhyun’s sleeping face. “I... he,” he turned to the man patting him. “He... at least once... please...let me... touch him.”
Wish raised an eyebrow and smiled when he looked at Kyuhyun.
“Why do you want to touch him? You could wish to be human, instead. Why do you want something as simple as touching him?” He asked, feigning innocence.
Sungmin contemplated for a second.
“I...,” he said. “If I wish to be human... would he... still accept me?”
Wish shrugged.
“That depends on him,” he said.
“Then...,” Sungmin reached out to try and touch Kyuhyun’s hair. “Please let me touch him at least once. I’d rather be able to touch him while he still accepts me. That one moment is enough rather than be able to touch him when he rejects me... please...just once...”
Wish smiled at Sungmin and leaned down to kiss him on his head. Sungmin closed his eyes and relished the feeling, wondering why he’s feeling warm all of a sudden.
“Hey, little flower,” he said. “You’re entitled to as many wishes as you want and only those you really want to come true will come true. Believe and it’s already given to you...,” he said in a voice that fades away together with him.
When all that’s left is a momentary weird feeling, Sungmin was left confused and in awe, wondering if he’s simply imagined everything.
He dismissed everything as an illusion and slept beside Kyuhyun, wondering what he would do if indeed his wish was granted.
----------------------
The smell of smoke and panicking people woke Kyuhyun up from his deep slumber. The moment he opened his eyes, his throat felt blocked and the thick smoke prevented him from breathing properly. As soon as his wits came back to him, he jumped up and realized that something is burning. The house is burning. Fear crept up in his heart and his survival instinct kicked in. Turning to his right, he saw Sungmin fast asleep, mouth slightly opened.
“Sungmin! Yah! Sungmin!” Kyuhyun called, wanting to shake the other but knowing that his touches would not mean anything. He tried to shout again but the thick smoke prevented him and he hacked violently, waking Sungmin.
“What? W...hat?” Sungmin mumbled when Kyuhyun violently shouted his name.
“SUNGMIN! The house is burning!” Kyuhyun said urgently and Sungmin jumped to his feet. “We need to get out!”
The fire licked every single thing is touches and the house burned red as if they’re in hell. Unbearable heat radiated from all angles and Kyuhyun urgently touched the door knob, only for his hands to be scalded and he yelped in pain releasing his hold on the knob.
“Kyuhyun!” Sungmin said, startled, scared.
“The damn thing won’t open!” Kyuhyun said amidst his violent coughing. The smoke thickened, like fog descending from the heavens. Outside, the sounds of people panicking could be heard and Kyuhyun felt fear engulf his whole being.
“Window! Your bedroom window! Jump from there!” Sungmin said urgently and he unconsciously grabbed Kyuhyun’s hand, only for his own hands to slip through Kyuhyun’s flesh. Tears of frustration and fear welled up in his eyes. “Kyuhyun! Your bedroom window!”
Coughing and hacking, Kyuhyun mustered all his strength to walk towards his bedroom and kick the door open. More smoke greeted him and he fell down on his knees, coughing, the world almost turning black. Sungmin’s voice sounded in his ears, urging him to keep moving.
“Kyuhyun! The window! Go!”
The world has become blurry and hazy and in the corner of Kyuhyun’s vision, the pitiful flower by the windowsill looked wilted and dry.
“Kyuhyun!” Sungmin’s urgently called him again.
With his last ounce of strength and with the smoke and heat as his enemy, Kyuhyun stood up and threw himself towards the window.
“Kyuhyun!”
The glass broke and Kyuhyun felt himself suspended in the air for a few seconds before the frightening descent began. In his ears, Sungmin’s shouts never ceased and Kyuhyun closed his eyes, bracing himself for the nasty fall. He fell and fell and fell and when he hit something solid, pain exploded on his shoulder and the clear groans from someone brought him back to semi-reality. Voices sounded in his ears and he vaguely heard someone saying how his neighbor’s house caught fire first because of faulty electric wiring.
He blinked, wondering if he’s still alive and for a brief second he heard and felt nothing until a tiny voice sounded in his ears.
“Are you... okay?”
Kyuhyun froze, his heart feeling constricted for he can knew who that voice belongs to. Painful movement occurred from underneath him and when Kyuhyun gained focus, he saw Sungmin beneath him, cushioning his fall, face in a painful expression.
“S...Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun murmured, panic evident in his voice.
Sungmin smiled at him.
“Hey... look,” he gasped. “I... got to touch you...”
The world stopped at that moment and the only sounds that Kyuhyun could hear were the sounds of his own heartbeat. He could feel hands touching his chest and the unmistakable warmth of a body beneath him. His lips trembled and his hands shook as he realized that Sungmin was holding him - truly holding him, fingers warm against his skin, breath tickling his neck.
“Sungmin.... how...?”
“I think someone up there is listening, Kyuhyun-ah... someone up there... is listening...,” Sungmin grimaced, his breath catching in his throat, his breath coming out in painful wisps.
“Sungmin!” Kyuhyun panicked. He was about to stand up and shout for help when Sungmin grasped his dislocated shoulder, making Kyuhyun cry out in pain.
“Don’t,” Sungmin said. “They can’t see me. They’ll think you’re crazy,” he warned.
“But... you... Sungmin... what if...,” Kyuhyun fearfully stuttered, wanting to express his anxiety over losing Sungmin. Just as he was about to speak once again, he heard the painfully familiar sound of something breaking beside him. He turned to find Sungmin’s flower pot shattered in pieces when it fell to the ground and the tiny yellow flower lying wilted, dying, on the ground.
A significant pause occurred in Kyuhyun world and for a brief moment he thought he completely lost his sanity as he started shouting: “Someone! Someone please! Someone help us! He’s hurt!” And the spectators around him wondered if the fall broke his mind as well. Someone grabbed him and restrained him as his dislocated shoulder throbbed in extreme levels of pain.
“Kyuhyun...” Sungmin’s small voice sounded in his ears and Kyuhyun found a momentary oasis. He struggled against someone’s grip and reached out to touch Sungmin’s face.
And he touched Sungmin’s face.
Soft and warm skin met his fingers and Kyuhyun cried out as Sungmin’s tears stained his skin.
“Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun cried, feeling Sungmin’s hands grasping his own.
The sounds of the panicking crowd faded away and the spring moon decided to show its face at that moment. The warm breeze blew and sang a long lost melody. Kyuhyun couldn’t care less about the people restraining his movements and his only reality at that moment was the fact the Sungmin... his little flower... his Sungmin is touching him. His Sungmin is grasping his hand, keeping him grounded to sanity.
“If...,” Sungmin’s voice sound strained in his ears as if any moment, he’s going to disappear. “If... if indeed he’ll grant my wish... then Kyuhyun... in another life... in another life I won’t be a flower anymore,” his voice cracked and Kyuhyun struggled more against the person restraining him when he saw visible tears on Sungmin’s face. “I promise, I won’t be a flower anymore. And I’ll hold you... I’ll hold you as much as you want me to...”
“Sungmin...”
“I’ll be born as your lover and if there will be ice cream in that lifetime, we’ll eat it together. Okay? Okay?”
“O...,” Kyuhyun choked. “Okay...”
“And you promised, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin said. “You promised to fall in love with me again. You promised...” he held up his pinky finger and Kyuhyun linked it with his, flesh touching flesh, skin touching skin, heart linking another heart, soul pulling another soul... together... forever... in various lifetimes to come.
“I promise,” Kyuhyun said and Sungmin smiled and when the moon once again hid behind the night clouds, he slowly turned into a fading silhouette right in front of Kyuhyun’s eyes. Kyuhyun wanted to protest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry but instead, in his darkening vision, Sungmin’s melodic voice calmed him down, saying:
We’ll meet again, for sure but for now... please... remember me...
----------------------------
“Hey... do you really think they’ll find each other again?”
Ryeowook grinned and arrogantly shrugged his shoulders.
“I told you, I don’t think so,” he said and winked at Yesung. “I know so.”
----------------------------
The wind that day is chilly and the sun suddenly decided to hide behind thick, blackish clouds. The air is wet with an impending rain and the streetlights are blurry amidst the descending fog. Early spring is in the air and the smell of ramyun penetrates the icy surroundings.
Lee Sungmin is running late for class that day and his clay project is in danger of being rejected by that crazy professor. Holding the clay project in his hand, he weaved his way through a sea of busy people. The traffic jam is particularly bad that day and Seoul is busy with the sounds of a rushing crowd. A few meters away from his university, rain started pouring and Sungmin slightly cursed for not bringing an umbrella with him. Worried that his clay project might get wet and soften, Sungmin dashed around and took temporary shelter in front of a bookstore. He took special interest in a novel displayed on the transparent glass.
The Red Strings, the novel boasted and Sungmin chuckled at the cheesy title. The rain got heavier and a few minutes later, someone shared Sungmin’s shelter, bumping shoulders with him and causing the clay project to almost fall to the ground.
“Yah~,” Sungmin said, annoyed and relieved that he managed to save the product of weeks of hard labor. “That might have caused me my midterm grade, you know,” he said.
“Sorry,” the man muttered and pulled his scarf around his neck tighter. He glanced at Sungmin’s clay project and smiled. “A yellow flower in a flower pot? Very creative,” he said, almost mockingly.
Sungmin looked at him, intending to fire endless complaints at the man but instead, he found himself staring at an almost familiar, smiling stranger. Sungmin frowned. What is so familiar about this man? Something is poking at the edges of his memories, bringing in a sense of déjà vu. The man ignored Sungmin’s stares and instead held out his hand to play with the rain and something inside Sungmin ached, the way it aches when he misses someone special.
“Have we...,” Sungmin started to say but instead chose to leave his sentence hanging. “Nevermind.”
The man’s shrugged, his shoulders once again touching Sungmin’s and an onslaught of bittersweet feelings filled him like water quickly filling a jar. But it happens, he thought. It happens to total strangers. In the hundreds of thousands of people roaming around Seoul every single day, Sungmin could’ve bumped shoulders with the man without him knowing.
When the rain seemed to have no plans on stopping, Sungmin made a move to run and the man beside him simply commented, “That flower’s going to get destroyed, you know.”
Sungmin tried to roll his eyes at him and was surprised when the man took off his scarf and covered Sungmin’s clay project with it.
“What...?”
“Use it,” the man said. “That flower’s too pretty to get wet. And whenever you see the scarf, remember the stranger who helped you,” he said and gave Sungmin a peace sign before dashing off amidst the heavily pouring rain. Sungmin stared at the man’s back, feeling a bit suffocated at the nostalgia surging through him.
He shrugged when he regained his composure and dashed towards his university, making a mental note to return the scarf when he sees the man again.
-------------------------
Lee Sungmin met the stranger again several days after when the spring sun is busy dancing in the sky. The wind is still a little chilly but the air is calm with the promise of warmer days to come. The trees have grown new leaves and the smell of ramyun is still heavy in the air. There’s a new ice cream shop that opened in the corner of the street and amidst the chilly air, there’s a steady line of people waiting to be seated. Curiosity beat Sungmin and he quietly fell in line, earphones pressed to his ears as he hums his favorite song. When he reached the counter, he was surprised to find a familiar looking man smiling at him.
“Ah!” The man exclaimed.
“Ah!” Sungmin exclaimed at the same time and a few minutes later, they were seated in one of the window seats, enjoying a healthy serving of ice cream.
“So this is your shop?” Sungmin asked.
“Mhmm,” the man said.
“ehhh....,” Sungmin exclaimed, looking around the brightly lit ice cream shop. “Nice. But you’re weird to open an ice cream shop at this time of year,” he said.
“But it’s appreciated pretty well,” the man smiled. Sungmin stared at him, the bittersweet nostalgic feeling once again filling his soul.
“Ah, I have your scarf, by the way,” Sungmin said and fished out the scarf from his bag and handed it to the man, their fingers touching as he did so. Sungmin flinched a little at the warmness that met his skin, the familiarity of it shocking him a little. He looked at the man and he knew that he was not the only one who felt it.
“What’s your name?” The man asked.
“Lee... Sungmin,” Sungmin answered, trying to find a name to the emotions running through him. “You?”
“Cho Kyuhyun,” the man answered, his curious gaze lingering on Sungmin’s face.
“Cho... Kyuhyun,” Sungmin repeated, the name bringing in a new sense of nostalgia and for some reason, he’s suddenly reminded of spring, ice cream and rainy days. There’s something familiar about the man, as if Sungmin have known him since long ago. The way his hair casually falls to his face, the shape of his eyes, his lips, his nose... it felt as if Sungmin have spent countless days staring at his features. It felt weird and inexplicably painful at the same time.
Kyuhyun looked as if he wanted to ask something.
“Have we... known each other before?” He finally asked and Sungmin burst out laughing.
“Yah... that’s exactly what I wanted to ask you. I mean... you look familiar and even your name sounds familiar. Cho Kyuhyun... Cho Kyuhyun...,” Sungmin unconsciously smiled. “See? It sounds familiar!” He exclaimed.
Kyuhyun laughed - weird, amused and loud and Sungmin liked it. It’s the kind of laughter that grows on people and makes them smile weirdly. It’s the kind of laughter that not many people can appreciate and it’s the kind of laughter that makes Sungmin want to laugh along with him. How many people, Sungmin wondered, laugh the way Kyuhyun laughs? And how many people get interested in another person just because he likes the way that person laughs?
The universe, truly, is full of strange people. And Sungmin think he’s one of them.
“You have a weird laugh, did you know?” Sungmin asked and Kyuhyun showed off by laughing more.
“I know. But you seem to like it,” Kyuhyun observed.
One by one, little by little, the walls crumbled between them.
“How’s your yellow flower?” Kyuhyun asked.
“It’s with my instructor,” Sungmin said in between mouthfuls of ice cream.
“You think I can have your number?” Kyuhyun asked.
Sungmin grinned and took out his phone.
“Only if I can have yours,” he countered and the laugh that he grew fond of in a span of minutes sounded in his ears. Kyuhyun brought out his phone, ate his ice cream and cracked up when Sungmin asked him if the second serving would be free.
“Hey,” Kyuhyun called when Sungmin walked towards the exit door, rubbing his tummy and commenting about how free ice cream best eaten on cold spring days.
“Yeah?” Sungmin looked back and for a second took Kyuhyun’s breath away with the way the playful spring sunlight dance on his face.
“You think I can call you tonight?” Kyuhyun asked and Sungmin grinned after flashing him a playful peace sign. Kyuhyun smiled, an inexplicable understanding forming between them. He watched as Sungmin disappears behind his ice cream shop’s door, the tiny tinkling bells on the door knob wishing him a safe journey home.
Kyuhyun could not explain why but as he watched Sungmin bounce away, he’s reminded of a dancing yellow flower on someone else’s windowsill.
----------------------------
“See? I told you they’ll find each other,” Ryeowook commented, poking Yesung playfully.
Yesung stayed silent and watched as Kyuhyun dialled Sungmin’s number that night. And suddenly, as if it only happened yesterday, he’s reminded of a certain yellow flower’s innocent wish to touch an ordinary man named Cho Kyuhyun. It was a wish that he had granted and a wish that pulled two souls to travel one and the same road. And Yesung is sure that in the next lifetimes to come, in whatever circumstances life may find those two souls, they’ll continue to wish for each other.
Because that’s how fate and faith work. Maybe Ryeowook’s strings won’t mean a thing without faith. Maybe Ryeowook’s strings would remain to be simple strings if people won’t pull it themselves. Maybe that’s why wishes are there - to push and pull two people together so that at the end of the day, when the strings connecting their hearts are tugged, stretched and aching, they would realize that all along, there’s nowhere else they should be but by each other’s sides.
Yesung sighed and continued watching, wondering if those two will ever find wish for each other in this lifetime. His pondering ended one yellow afternoon, towards the end of spring, when Sungmin suddenly asked Kyuhyun:
“Hey, Kyuhyun, do you know that there are people who believe that a red string connects people together?”
Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin and shook his head.
“No. Do you believe in it?” He asked.
Sungmin blushed and nodded.
“Why?” Kyuhyun asked.
Sungmin stared at him longer than he planned until he exhaled and murmured: “Because I think you hold the other end of mine...”
END.
---------------------------
*enters panda-eyed, expressionless woman*
1. Hello.
2. Happy New Year.
3. Nice to meet you. Please call me WE-DONT-NEED-NO-FREAKING-PLOT NICA from now on. If it’s too long, you can call me Plotless Nica too.
4. I’m warning you, Benny, never comment or I’ll make good of my threat to slice your mouth until it reaches the back of your head.
5. Thank you.
*Plotless Nica leaves*