[Mini series] Where Wisterias Grow {2/3}
Part 2. \o/
Still requested by myself~ ^________^
Still a fail when it comes to length estimation. T_________T
Still a slow writer. -__________-
Still boring and long-winded. 0_o
Still fluff. *_________*
Where Wisterias Grow
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking.
Loving might be a mistake
But it’s worth making.
-LeeAnn Womack, “I Hope You Dance”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Do you really think there would be wisterias in heaven?”
-------------------------
“It would suck if there are no wisterias there,” Sungmin quietly responds to Kyuhyun’s question. Kyuhyun steps backwards a little and leans against the door, hands pinned behind him.
“I’d strangle you if there aren’t,” Kyuhyun says softly. Sungmin laughs, looks at him and tilts his head to one side. “I need to have a goal,” Kyuhyun elaborates. “Something to look forward to before I die.”
“I know,” Sungmin nods. “I read your note.”
“And embarrassed the fuck out of me,” Kyuhyun says with a curse.
“Haha,” Sungmin laughs. “What would you do if there aren’t wisterias in heaven?”
Kyuhyun gets lost in thoughts for minutes. He clenches his fists and looks out the window towards the paling sun.
“Then I’ll make sure to reincarnate and I’d hunt for you and kick you and smack you and punch you for deceiving me,” he answers and unconsciously smiles at the morbid thoughts. He hears Sungmin’s laughter - loud and nice - like water bubbling out of a jar.
The paling sun peeks through the windows. Some lost birds step on the window sill. The curtains move with the early autumn wind. Distant laughter echoes from somewhere and moves in layers through the spaces. The shadows on the walls, on the floor and on the ceilings create vague forms. Footsteps pass outside the doors and everything screams life - in a nice, easy, comfortable and quiet way.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes and listens. Ah... yes... why didn’t he realize it before?
Life’s good this way. It feels good to be alive. So good. So, so good. Why is he discovering it for the first time?
“Why are you standing so far away?”Sungmin almost whispers. Kyuhyun opens his eyes and the other man’s smile meets his face. “Come closer,” Sungmin points to a comfortable chair beside his bed.
Kyuhyun hesitantly steps forward. One foot moves, the other follows, spaces grow smaller, distance gets shorter, souls link together and hearts grow a tiny bit fonder. Closer, closer and Kyuhyun is now standing inches away from Sungmin’s bed. He reaches out and touches the white sheets.
“Your bed is cold,” he comments nonsensically.
“Your hand is just probably warm,” Sungmin shrugs. Kyuhyun blinks at him and he smiles - big, wide, almost friendly.
“Would there really be wisterias in heaven?” Kyuhyun tries to confirm one more time.
Sungmin waits for him to sit on the comfortable chair before giving an answer.
“There would be,” he says. “... if we wish hard enough for it.”
Kyuhyun rests his back on the chair, laces his fingers together and places them on top of his thighs. The peeking sun decides to give them a moment of privacy, the birds fly towards some hidden destination, the wind leaves to disturb some other room and shadows melt with the light.
There’s only him and Sungmin left. Kyuhyun and Sungmin - two people discovering for the first time how in the blink of an eye, life passes and slips through people’s fingers.
Sungmin breathes, Kyuhyun breathes. Sungmin smiles, Kyuhyun smiles back. Sungmin looks at his sheets, Kyuhyun reaches out to touch it and comments once again on how cold the bed is. And just like that... just like that... a sense of indefinable comfort flows between the small spaces separating them.
“I’m going to trust you with my dying goal. Don’t you dare die before we get to see wisterias,” Kyuhyun warns.
Sungmin’s lips twitch once again before a big, friendly smile forms.
“I would say the same to you,” he says.
Kyuhyun breathes, Sungmin breathes... and they form an agreement.
--------------------------
Sungmin shows up outside the bank where Kyuhyun works the next day. There is an early autumn rain falling from the sky and it is Kyuhyun’s last day at work. His co-workers are shooting him with curious glances, afraid to ask why such a young employee wants to leave his employment during the prime years of his life. Kyuhyun ignores them and simply focuses on wrapping up his things and packing.
He is busy putting his things inside a small box when he notices Sungmin waving at him from the outside and almost jumping while holding a purple umbrella.
“What are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asks as soon as he is out the door and facing Sungmin. “Weren’t you in the hospital just yesterday?”
“I got discharged,” Sungmin tells him. “Are you done for the day?”
“Do I look like I’m done for the day?” Kyuhyun snaps a little. “What do you want?”
Sungmin grins.
“I’m inviting you out for a date,” he jokes.
“A date?!” Kyuhyun violently reacts. “Shut the hell up,” he curses and Sungmin fakes a hurt expression.
“Ouch,” Sungmin says. “Do you curse a lot? Come on, you won’t regret it. Let’s go out for tea. I know a secret place. Won’t hurt if you leave from work early, right?”
Kyuhyun smirks.
“It’s my last day at work. I won’t be coming back,” he declares and starts to go back inside while ignoring Sungmin’s groans. He pulls his sweater closer to his chest as the autumn wind bites the skin on his neck. The coldness of the atmosphere hits him in layers and as he looks at the packing boxes on his table, Kyuhyun notices that his co-workers would curiously stare at it for a second before shrugging nonchalantly and heading off to fulfill their workday’s duty.
Then, as suddenly as the coldness of the day hits him, the loneliness of the situation hits him too.
Is that how he is going to die? One co-worker will learn about it, gossip it to another co-worker, visit his wake and then leave while talking about where to go drinking to unwind. Is that how unimportant his life is? One word of condolence is fine, one hug, one pat on the backs of his mother and father and everything’s forgotten. He’ll lay six feet under and soon, when layers and layers of years pile up and people start to grow older, his face would be forgotten, his name would be thrown away together with old address books and mobile phones.
How stupidly easy he could be forgotten. How stupidly easy.
Kyuhyun bites his lower lips and stops a few inches from the transparent door. He breathes heavily.
“You know what?” He starts to say. He turns around just in time to find Sungmin turning around too while twirling his purple umbrella.
“Hmm?” Sungmin asks.
“Let’s have that tea,” Kyuhyun declares quietly. His palms clench into fists. “Let’s go out for dinner afterwards, watch a movie, get drunk, have sex...,” the tone of his voice gets stronger.
Sungmin chokes over nothing.
“What?!” He laughs.
“Talk more, laugh more...,” Kyuhyun continues. “Get out of the country, hunt for wisterias, get involved in this so-called bromance...”
Sungmin chokes over nothing again.
“The hell... bromance!?” He laughs again. “...And fall in love?” He tries to joke.
Kyuhyun turns around completely so that he is facing Sungmin once again.
“Yeah,” he breathes seriously. “Yeah... yeah. Fall in love,” he sounds as if he is trying to convince himself.
He laughs dryly.
“Fall in love, defy the norms and die with our middle finger raised and pointed at those people who didn’t give a damn about us and those people who will dare tell us that falling in love with another man is a sin,” Kyuhyun pauses to inhale a huge amount of air. “Yeah... fall in love,” he repeats.
“...fall in love,” he looks at Sungmin. “What do you say?”
Sungmin is still choking from too much laughter and when he recovers, he looks at Kyuhyun with mischief.
“Let’s just have that tea first, shall we?”
“Ah, shit,” Kyuhyun curses, embarrassed. “You have this stupid way of embarrassing me, you know?” He accuses and stomps his foot before going back inside and completely packing his things. Once he finishes, he does not bother to bid goodbye to his co-workers. He instead pushes Sungmin towards his car and slams the door shut.
“Now what?” Kyuhyun asks, a bit disoriented.
“Now what?” Sungmin repeats with a giggle. “Do we... get drunk and have sex?” He asks and Kyuhyun groans.
“Screw you.”
“That was what you wanted to do, right?” Sungmin continues to tease.
“Screw you again.”
“I already know you want to do that. You don’t have to repeat it again. It scandalizes me,” Sungmin laughs and Kyuhyun glares at him. “What?” Sungmin’s smiles big and sunny.
“Shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun tries to sound serious and stern only that he fails and his words sound like a joke. Sungmin cutely tilts his head to one side. “Ah forget it, goddammit now where do we go for that tea?”
“Go straight ahead and turn left when you reach the first intersection,” Sungmin instructs while laughing loudly.
“Oh for goodness’ sake, shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun complains. He steps on the pedals and the car moves while Sungmin continues to laugh - loud, bubbly, crunchy, infectious.
“Shut up, Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun tries to say again only to get infected by that bubbly laughter. He smiles, he grins and he laughs along with Sungmin. Whatever is the reason for laughing, it got lost somewhere between telling Sungmin to shut up and getting caught up in that bright moment.
Ahh~ it feels good to smile, to laugh, to be completely nonsensical, to joke, to love... to live. As with most good things life has to offer, why do people realize it too late?
---------------------------
The little tea place Sungmin wants to go to is dirty, Kyuhyun notices. Well, it’s not exactly the unhygienic type but it’s more like someplace people won’t go to when they want to relax and de-stress over life. The outside of the place is made of weathered wood with a chipping brown paint. There are vandalisms all over it - graffiti, people’s names... declarations of love... Kyuhyun smirks. The inside is no different. The ceiling is dusty, there’s a small order counter and there are approximately five sets of tables and chairs. Just that and nothing more.
“Are you sure we’re still in Seoul?” Kyuhyun asks Sungmin.
“Relax, rich kid, the tea here is not poisoned,” Sungmin quips.
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and sneezes once.
“I’m more scared of getting viruses and bacteria and dying earlier than scheduled without getting to fulfill a goal,” he retorts and sneezes again. Sungmin grins and Kyuhyun jumps a little when he starts yelling something in what sounds like Japanese language.
“Tell me,” Kyuhyun rubs his face warily. “Why are you yelling?”
Sungmin turns to him and frowns.
“Because he’s almost deaf,” he reasons. “If I won’t shout, I wouldn’t be heard.”
If I won’t shout, I wouldn’t be heard. Kyuhyun curses himself. Maybe he has gone crazy for tying such a statement to his current situation. Shout to be heard, laugh like there’s no tomorrow, cry like an idiot, dance as if no one’s looking, sing like you’re the best in the world, hate another human being, love with all your heart and soul...live. Isn’t that what shouting about life means? All his life, what Kyuhyun seems to have been doing is murmuring a pathetic ‘look at me, I’m alive, look at me’ and no one but his family turns around to say ‘I’m glad you’re living’.
“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me I’m still alive!” Something inside Kyuhyun shouts and squirms, wanting to be heard. He remembers his packing boxes, his empty table, his co-workers... “Damn you all, I’m still alive! Don’t start forgetting me, I’m still alive!” A hole seems to open inside him - dark, needing, wanting. He clenches his fists.
“Kyuhyun?” Sungmin’s quiet voice brings him back to reality. He’s starting to pull an old chair to sit on and a quiet, thin old man is standing beside him. “Something wrong?”
“I hate you for making me think,” Kyuhyun murmurs.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he pulls a chair and sits beside Sungmin.
“This is Bo-chan,” Sungmin introduces the old man beside him. “I don’t know his real name so I call him Bo-chan. He’s Japanese,” he introduces.
“Why’s he in Korea?” Kyuhyun asks dumbly.
“Because he is in Korea...?” Sungmin answers back dumbly and grins. “Kidding. I don’t know why. But he tells me he’s been making tea here for as long as he could remember and when he saves up enough, he’ll go back to Japan and die there.” The words from Sungmin sound gentle and cheerful but something about them strikes Kyuhyun in a melancholy way. Maybe it’s the talk about dying. Maybe it’s the talk about goals. Isn’t it extremely saddening to die without accomplishing a goal?
Kyuhyun smirks.
“Whatever. What’s the best tea here?” He asks, studying the old menu.
“HE ASKED WHAT THE BEST TEA IS!!” Sungmin shouts again and Kyuhyun jumps a little in his seat.
“Seriously...,” Kyuhyun starts to say when the old man’s weathered face breaks into what seems like a grin.
In broken Korean, Bo-chan answers, “Peppermint and Lemon. Tastes like guava but good!” He says. Kyuhyun stares at him for a while and feels a little envious. This old man’s goal is to leave Korea and die in his home country. His goal is to die while Kyuhyun’s goal is to live only until spring and see wisterias. Isn’t it a little unfair? He should grow old like Bo-chan, he should see a hundred more springs and summers and autumns and winters, stare at his weathered face in the mirror, look back on his glory days with satisfaction and at the end of the line choose a place to die in. Just like Bo-chan.
But all he has is only one winter and only one spring to make it work. Why is life so unfair like that?
“Bo-chan told me once that he lost his wife and his daughter during the war,” Sungmin informs Kyuhyun when Bo-chan leaves to make their tea.
“Mhmm...,” Kyuhyun mumbles, disinterested.
“Then he married a pretty Korean and maybe that’s how he got to stay here for so long? But she died early in their marriage and Bo-chan was once again alone. At his age, he probably will die alone, don’t you think?” Sungmin continues to talk and Kyuhyun half-heartedly listens.
“Mhmm...”
“Have you ever been in love, Kyuhyun?” Comes the sudden question.
“What?”
“Oh you know,” Sungmin nonchalantly chitchats. “Love. Ever been in a relationship? Ever had a girlfriend? A boyfriend?” He laughs.
“I’ve had two unsuccessful relationships,” Kyuhyun informs him. “And no, I am not going to tell you about it.”
“I’ve had four,” Sungmin proudly tells him.
“No kidding,” Kyuhyun says sarcastically.
“One was a dancer. His name’s Eunhyuk. The other one was an aspiring actor. He’s funny and he’s an idiot. His name’s Donghae. And then there’s Shindong. He used to be my baking assistant. He’s nice and funny too. And then there’s Yesung...,” Sungmin’s eyes take on a dancing glow, Kyuhyun notices. “Yesung. He’s a singer in a place I frequently go to every Saturday. He’s an idiot, he loves turtles, he loves weird things, he loves octopus... he loves...”
“...you?” Kyuhyun finishes for him. “Why’d you let him go?”
The glow in Sungmin’s eyes disappears.
“Because I had to let him go,” he says. “Most beautiful things in life... and well... life itself... are meant to simply pass through our fingers,” he grins.
“You’re a different kind of selfish, then,” Kyuhyun comments.
“What? Why?”
“Well for one, you don’t simply let go someone you love so much and who loves you back just because you had to. Fight for them. It’s selfish not to fight for them when they’ve given you what you want and so much more, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun says and shrugs. “Just, you know, it’s selfish to let them go if they still want to stay just because you think you had to let them go. Just a thought.”
Sungmin smiles at Kyuhyun.
“How do you know Yesung still wanted to stay with me when I let him go?”
Kyuhyun stays silent as he watches Bo-chan place their cups of tea in front of them. Thin smoke from the hot liquid inside rises up in the air and vanishes into the cold air a second later. Kyuhyun traces the rim of the white cup with his forefinger.
“I don’t know,” he answers Sungmin’s question. “Just... you know, if he really wanted to leave you, you wouldn’t have that sparkle in your eyes when you’re talking about him. If he wanted to really leave you, there should at least be some trace of bitterness within you. From the way you’re speaking, I sense none.”
Sungmin laughs loud.
“Is there some kind of rule that people should be bitter whenever someone they love leaves them?” He challenges.
“Isn’t it supposed to be a natural feeling?” Kyuhyun challenges back, eyes boring into Sungmin’s. “You’d be a hypocrite if you tell me that you’ve gladly, without bitterness, let go of those people you’ve loved. Bitterness is a natural feeling, isn’t it? It means you’ve truly loved and you’ve truly given something worth giving to someone else. At least that’s how I think it should be.”
Sungmin stays silent; Kyuhyun takes a sip of his tea. It’s hot and it indeed tastes like guava. A good kind of guava, he thinks.
“You’re meddling into the business of my very own feelings,” Sungmin jokes quietly.
“The same way that you meddled into the business of my suicide attempt?” Kyuhyun answers back. He looks up from his cup to Sungmin’s face.
A small, teasing smile grazes across Sungmin’s lips and Kyuhyun rolls his eyes.
“I don’t know why I even trust you,” Kyuhyun complains.
“Because you want us to get drunk and have sex,” Sungmin points out and Kyuhyun groans more. Bo-chan appears before them with two slices of homemade cake. “On the house”, he says in broken Korean that sounds too funny to Kyuhyun. So funny that he laughs his guts out until he coughs and chokes.
Sungmin reaches out from across the small table and lightly smacks him.
“You idiot, stop laughing at him!” He demands. Kyuhyun ignores him and laughs anyway.
Ahh~ it feels good to laugh about some trivial thing. Why didn’t he realize it sooner?
“I really want to see wisterias, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin tells him when the last bits of Kyuhyun’s laughter dies out.
“And I need to have a goal,” Kyuhyun answers.
“Let’s be alive until the flowers bloom,” Sungmin suggests and Kyuhyun nods. “...and what if we fall in love along the way?”
“...with each other?”
“With each other.”
“Then...,” Kyuhyun murmurs. Ryeowook’s words echo in his head, clear as a cloudless, sunny day. Fall in love, goddammit, fall in love.
“Then?”
“Then let’s fall in love goddammit, let’s fall in love,” Kyuhyun declares, imitating Ryeowook’s words. Sungmin smiles - sweet, innocent, captivating - and Kyuhyun thinks “I might fall in love, damn you Ryeowook, I might fall in love.”
--------------------------------
Bo-chan cries when Kyuhyun and Sungmin says goodbye. He positions himself by the door and bows deeply when they say their thank yous.
“He always cries when customers leave,” Sungmin says. “He’s seventy, deaf, almost senile and my brother says it’s quite normal for old people to do that. Still, he only has a few loyal customers in this old shop and I think each is special in their own way for him,” he explains. Kyuhyun feels a bit of sympathy for the old man so he shakes his hand and pats his back.
“I’ll come back. I’ll come back if I manage to stay alive until spring,” Kyuhyun murmurs and just when he realizes that the old man is deaf, he hears Sungmin ruining the touching moment by shouting:
“KYUHYUN SAYS HE’LL COME BACK!!”
“Geez! Do you really have to fucking shout? My eardrums just bled,” Kyuhyun complains when they start walking towards his car.
“And do you really have to curse?” Sungmin wrinkles his nose. “My wholesome, innocent ears suffer whenever you curse.”
Kyuhyun pauses while opening his car door.
“What?” Sungmin asks.
“...shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun simply says and motions for him to hurry inside. The sun is now threatening to hide behind the horizon, the afternoon wind is chilly, the sky is darkening and the shadows are lengthening.
“Cold,” Sungmin comments as soon as they are inside Kyuhyun’s car. “Why is your car so cold?”
“Tsk,” Kyuhyun says, removes his jacket and wraps it around Sungmin’s shoulders. “Stop complaining,” he says, involuntarily sounding gentle. He turns towards the steering wheel quickly and fails to see the deep pink blush that creeps on Sungmin’s cheeks.
“You know,” Sungmin says after a while, right before Kyuhyun revs up the engines.
“Yeah?”
“I cried like there’s no tomorrow when Yesung left,” Sungmin admits quietly.
Kyuhyun pauses and takes a peek at Sungmin who is now biting his lips and looking down.
“You look more human this way,” he says.
“What?”
“Instead of some I-am-gonna-die-so-I’m-gonna-teach-you-lessons-in-life kind of guy, you look more human when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and admit that you’re hurt about something and you’re scared about something,” he shrugs. “At least that’s how I think you look.”
Sungmin stares at Kyuhyun, round eyes soft and glowing. Kyuhyun sneezes once and Sungmin unwraps his own scarf from his neck, reaches out and gently coils it around Kyuhyun’s neck. Kyuhyun unconsciously leans towards Sungmin with confused eyes and unspoken words.
“Don’t lend your jacket to strangers when you yourself feel cold,” Sungmin murmurs, face inches apart from Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes, feeling Sungmin’s breath tickling his face. The scarf smells sweet and fruity and nice. Something warm seeps through his skin and spreads through his heart. He feels it softly thumping against his chest with a silent cry as if telling him “hey you, you you, I exist, I’m here, I’m making my presence known. Hey, you.”
“Is this the part where we get drunk and have sex?” Kyuhyun jokes to calm something inside him.
“We don’t have wine,” Sungmin teases back.
“You can’t get drunk with wine,” Kyuhyun answers. “And I’m going to kiss you if you don’t move away.”
“Shit,” Sungmin curses and Kyuhyun grins triumphantly.
“I thought you don’t curse?” Kyuhyun asks, stepping on the pedals and making the car move. Sungmin does not answer and instead leans against the cold windows to cool his reddened face.
“Hey Sungmin?”Kyuhyun asks as if on afterthought.
“Yeah?”
“I want to get to know you more,” Kyuhyun states. “I entrusted you with my dying wish. I don’t want you to be a complete stranger to me.”
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Sungmin bakes the world’s most awesome cakes, Kyuhyun learns one mid-November day when the trees are bald and the leaves on the ground are crunchy. A mid-autumn rain is threatening to fall as the skies are gray and grumpy. The sun is resting behind thick, dark clouds as if it declared a holiday somewhere between rising and setting.
Kyuhyun sits in one of the few easy white chairs inside Sungmin’s bakery while abusing the free wireless internet connection. He orders a blueberry cheesecake from Sungmin’s brother and the younger man happily serves him a huge slice.
“Thank you for visiting my brother,” he whispers and Kyuhyun nods a little. He starts eating the cheesecake and grins at how lovely it tastes. Sungmin’s brother beams at him before moving away to attend to other customers.
Kyuhyun researches on wisterias as he waits for Sungmin and he finds out that wisterias are woody climbing vines. Wisterias are tough vines, he learns, as they can grow even on poor quality soil. Just like tough people, he thinks. Just like people who find joy in simple things; just like people who celebrate life’s simple miracles; just like people who make the best of their limited life. Just like... can it be just like him?
“Hey, you,” Sungmin’s cheerful voice brings Kyuhyun out of his sorry state. “What are you doing here?”
“Taking advantage of your unprotected wireless connection,” Kyuhyun replies quickly. “Wisterias are vines, you idiot,” he says after Sungmin pulls a chair and sits in front of him. “How can there be a field of wisterias when they are vines?”
Sungmin thinks for a while and rolls his eyes at him.
“Do your research properly, Kyuhyun. They are woody, climbing vines, they have a base, they have roots feeding from the ground. And well, even if they’re vines it doesn’t mean there can’t be a field of wisterias!” He defends. “They can coil up a tree or around each other and survive,” he giggles. “Just like us. Two dying people coiling around each other.” Kyuhyun glares at him. “What?”
“Shut up,” Kyuhyun complains.
“Haha!” Sungmin laughs. “It’s cold, I’m starving, let’s have some ramyun with beef and fishcake, what do you say?”
“I just had your cheesecake...,” Kyuhyun starts to say.
“Oh come on!” Sungmin coos. He takes Kyuhyun by the hand and tries to pull him up from his chair. “Come on, Cho Kyuhyun! Geez why are you so uptight?” He complains, earning curious glances from his customers.
“Fine! Fine! I’m going! I’m going! No need to pull me, geez,” Kyuhyun says. Sungmin beams at him and grins idiotically until Kyuhyun points out the obvious. “You’re still in your baking uniform.”
“Ah crap,” Sungmin says.
“I thought you don’t curse?!”
“Stop saying that,” Sungmin groans. “Wait for me here. I’ll just change. Wait for me! Don’t dare escape!” He points a forefinger at Kyuhyun.
“I won’t, go on ahead,” Kyuhyun says and shoos Sungmin away. He feels the lingering coldness of Sungmin’s palm against his own and for a few crazy, almost idiotic moments, he entertains the thought of cradling it within his own warm ones.
“Stupid,” he murmurs.
Sungmin emerges from a side door a few minutes later with a striped scarf and a knitted bonnet. Hands in his jacket pocket, he grins at Kyuhyun and follows him out the door.
“I didn’t bring my car,” Kyuhyun says, walking ahead of Sungmin.
“Then we’ll have to walk,” Sungmin says, blowing on his palms. Kyuhyun turns around to find him rubbing his palms together, creating friction that gives warmth.
“Your hands are cold,” Kyuhyun states the obvious.
“Genius,” Sungmin teases, shoving his hands inside his jacket pockets once again.
Kyuhyun clears his throat, pauses in his steps and faces Sungmin. He bites his lips, debates against himself and finally throws caution to the autumn wind.
“Here,” he offers shyly and stares up at the grumpy skies.
Sungmin’s eyebrows rise in warm surprise when Kyuhyun offers his hand, stands slightly on his toes and looks up at something uninteresting in the wide autumn sky.
“W-what?” Sungmin asks.
Kyuhyun’s fingers shake in shy anticipation.
“Here, if you want it,” he repeats, cursing himself in his head a thousand times over for doing something as idiotic and as impulsive. He waits for a few more seconds, ready to retract his outstretched arm and run like a madman when Sungmin slowly takes his hand and allows his cold one to be enclosed fully in the warmth of Kyuhyun’s palms.
They stand in awkward silence for long moments, like two idiots standing in the middle of Seoul, hands interlinked and sharing the same body heat.
Kyuhyun clears his throat.
“Well, your hands are cold,” he says.
Sungmin blushes a little.
“Your hands are warm.”
Silence wraps its comfortable presence around them as they walk, hand in hand, heart in heart, soul in soul. Their bodies automatically pull closer, they shoulders graze each other, their cheeks blush and their feet move in rhythm. There’s a comfort between them that’s both ironically awkward and charming. Maybe that’s how natural science meddles in on people’s love affairs because in much the same way as basic elements find each other and mix to form unexpected results, people find each other and unexpectedly connect in ways that can only be explained by a term found in the natural sciences: chemistry.
“Let’s switch sides so you can warm up my left hand,” Sungmin jokes and Kyuhyun agrees just for the heck of it.
Like idiots, they trade places and when Sungmin falls a step behind, Kyuhyun looks back, holds out his left hand and says “Come on, you’re being slow”. Sungmin takes it with a scowl and enjoys the warmth that automatically seeps through his fingers, through his skin, to his heart down to his very core. It is a warmth that is more than physical. It is a warmth that brings comfort to something alien inside and allows it to settle down and rest. It is a warmth that’s similar to reassurance; a warmth that’s called comfort; a warmth that most people would probably never recognize to be the quiet beginnings of love.
The cold autumn continues to bite through their skin and the first drops of mid-autumn rain gently lands on their heads. Feeling the cold droplet, Kyuhyun pulls Sungmin along with him and they run like children towards the nearest ramyun shop. Kyuhyun pulls hard, Sungmin trips, almost lands on his face and they laugh before resuming their short journey towards the nearby destination.
Short journey indeed but full of laughter, nonetheless.
“Hey Sungmin,” Kyuhyun says when they come to stand in front of the ramyun shop, hands still interlinked and shoulders still touching. There’s a remaining trace of laughter in his eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I really wish there would be wisterias in heaven,” he says. “But if I can laugh like this while I’m alive, I’m okay with just you being there,” he smiles before letting go of Sungmin’s hand and entering the ramyun shop.
Sungmin is left alone for a moment, blinking and blinking before a smile graces his lips too. He follows Kyuhyun, in some kind of comfortable premonition, and all the while, Kyuhyun’s words dance in his head: let’s fall in love, goddammit, let’s fall in love.
TBC.
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1. Tada! Guess what? I fail at length estimation.
2. I enjoyed writing this too much, omg.
3. Still long-winded and boring and too slow paced.
4. But it is fluff, right?
5. Still lazy to check for grammar mistakes, typos and the likes and I’m still lazy to do a proper research.
6. Okay thanks, bye. (Why the freak did I end with footnote number 6? *not comfortable because I’m OC like that). Ahahaha!
Still requested by myself~ ^________^
Still a fail when it comes to length estimation. T_________T
Still a slow writer. -__________-
Still boring and long-winded. 0_o
Still fluff. *_________*
Where Wisterias Grow
Living might mean taking chances
But they’re worth taking.
Loving might be a mistake
But it’s worth making.
-LeeAnn Womack, “I Hope You Dance”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Do you really think there would be wisterias in heaven?”
-------------------------
“It would suck if there are no wisterias there,” Sungmin quietly responds to Kyuhyun’s question. Kyuhyun steps backwards a little and leans against the door, hands pinned behind him.
“I’d strangle you if there aren’t,” Kyuhyun says softly. Sungmin laughs, looks at him and tilts his head to one side. “I need to have a goal,” Kyuhyun elaborates. “Something to look forward to before I die.”
“I know,” Sungmin nods. “I read your note.”
“And embarrassed the fuck out of me,” Kyuhyun says with a curse.
“Haha,” Sungmin laughs. “What would you do if there aren’t wisterias in heaven?”
Kyuhyun gets lost in thoughts for minutes. He clenches his fists and looks out the window towards the paling sun.
“Then I’ll make sure to reincarnate and I’d hunt for you and kick you and smack you and punch you for deceiving me,” he answers and unconsciously smiles at the morbid thoughts. He hears Sungmin’s laughter - loud and nice - like water bubbling out of a jar.
The paling sun peeks through the windows. Some lost birds step on the window sill. The curtains move with the early autumn wind. Distant laughter echoes from somewhere and moves in layers through the spaces. The shadows on the walls, on the floor and on the ceilings create vague forms. Footsteps pass outside the doors and everything screams life - in a nice, easy, comfortable and quiet way.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes and listens. Ah... yes... why didn’t he realize it before?
Life’s good this way. It feels good to be alive. So good. So, so good. Why is he discovering it for the first time?
“Why are you standing so far away?”Sungmin almost whispers. Kyuhyun opens his eyes and the other man’s smile meets his face. “Come closer,” Sungmin points to a comfortable chair beside his bed.
Kyuhyun hesitantly steps forward. One foot moves, the other follows, spaces grow smaller, distance gets shorter, souls link together and hearts grow a tiny bit fonder. Closer, closer and Kyuhyun is now standing inches away from Sungmin’s bed. He reaches out and touches the white sheets.
“Your bed is cold,” he comments nonsensically.
“Your hand is just probably warm,” Sungmin shrugs. Kyuhyun blinks at him and he smiles - big, wide, almost friendly.
“Would there really be wisterias in heaven?” Kyuhyun tries to confirm one more time.
Sungmin waits for him to sit on the comfortable chair before giving an answer.
“There would be,” he says. “... if we wish hard enough for it.”
Kyuhyun rests his back on the chair, laces his fingers together and places them on top of his thighs. The peeking sun decides to give them a moment of privacy, the birds fly towards some hidden destination, the wind leaves to disturb some other room and shadows melt with the light.
There’s only him and Sungmin left. Kyuhyun and Sungmin - two people discovering for the first time how in the blink of an eye, life passes and slips through people’s fingers.
Sungmin breathes, Kyuhyun breathes. Sungmin smiles, Kyuhyun smiles back. Sungmin looks at his sheets, Kyuhyun reaches out to touch it and comments once again on how cold the bed is. And just like that... just like that... a sense of indefinable comfort flows between the small spaces separating them.
“I’m going to trust you with my dying goal. Don’t you dare die before we get to see wisterias,” Kyuhyun warns.
Sungmin’s lips twitch once again before a big, friendly smile forms.
“I would say the same to you,” he says.
Kyuhyun breathes, Sungmin breathes... and they form an agreement.
--------------------------
Sungmin shows up outside the bank where Kyuhyun works the next day. There is an early autumn rain falling from the sky and it is Kyuhyun’s last day at work. His co-workers are shooting him with curious glances, afraid to ask why such a young employee wants to leave his employment during the prime years of his life. Kyuhyun ignores them and simply focuses on wrapping up his things and packing.
He is busy putting his things inside a small box when he notices Sungmin waving at him from the outside and almost jumping while holding a purple umbrella.
“What are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asks as soon as he is out the door and facing Sungmin. “Weren’t you in the hospital just yesterday?”
“I got discharged,” Sungmin tells him. “Are you done for the day?”
“Do I look like I’m done for the day?” Kyuhyun snaps a little. “What do you want?”
Sungmin grins.
“I’m inviting you out for a date,” he jokes.
“A date?!” Kyuhyun violently reacts. “Shut the hell up,” he curses and Sungmin fakes a hurt expression.
“Ouch,” Sungmin says. “Do you curse a lot? Come on, you won’t regret it. Let’s go out for tea. I know a secret place. Won’t hurt if you leave from work early, right?”
Kyuhyun smirks.
“It’s my last day at work. I won’t be coming back,” he declares and starts to go back inside while ignoring Sungmin’s groans. He pulls his sweater closer to his chest as the autumn wind bites the skin on his neck. The coldness of the atmosphere hits him in layers and as he looks at the packing boxes on his table, Kyuhyun notices that his co-workers would curiously stare at it for a second before shrugging nonchalantly and heading off to fulfill their workday’s duty.
Then, as suddenly as the coldness of the day hits him, the loneliness of the situation hits him too.
Is that how he is going to die? One co-worker will learn about it, gossip it to another co-worker, visit his wake and then leave while talking about where to go drinking to unwind. Is that how unimportant his life is? One word of condolence is fine, one hug, one pat on the backs of his mother and father and everything’s forgotten. He’ll lay six feet under and soon, when layers and layers of years pile up and people start to grow older, his face would be forgotten, his name would be thrown away together with old address books and mobile phones.
How stupidly easy he could be forgotten. How stupidly easy.
Kyuhyun bites his lower lips and stops a few inches from the transparent door. He breathes heavily.
“You know what?” He starts to say. He turns around just in time to find Sungmin turning around too while twirling his purple umbrella.
“Hmm?” Sungmin asks.
“Let’s have that tea,” Kyuhyun declares quietly. His palms clench into fists. “Let’s go out for dinner afterwards, watch a movie, get drunk, have sex...,” the tone of his voice gets stronger.
Sungmin chokes over nothing.
“What?!” He laughs.
“Talk more, laugh more...,” Kyuhyun continues. “Get out of the country, hunt for wisterias, get involved in this so-called bromance...”
Sungmin chokes over nothing again.
“The hell... bromance!?” He laughs again. “...And fall in love?” He tries to joke.
Kyuhyun turns around completely so that he is facing Sungmin once again.
“Yeah,” he breathes seriously. “Yeah... yeah. Fall in love,” he sounds as if he is trying to convince himself.
He laughs dryly.
“Fall in love, defy the norms and die with our middle finger raised and pointed at those people who didn’t give a damn about us and those people who will dare tell us that falling in love with another man is a sin,” Kyuhyun pauses to inhale a huge amount of air. “Yeah... fall in love,” he repeats.
“...fall in love,” he looks at Sungmin. “What do you say?”
Sungmin is still choking from too much laughter and when he recovers, he looks at Kyuhyun with mischief.
“Let’s just have that tea first, shall we?”
“Ah, shit,” Kyuhyun curses, embarrassed. “You have this stupid way of embarrassing me, you know?” He accuses and stomps his foot before going back inside and completely packing his things. Once he finishes, he does not bother to bid goodbye to his co-workers. He instead pushes Sungmin towards his car and slams the door shut.
“Now what?” Kyuhyun asks, a bit disoriented.
“Now what?” Sungmin repeats with a giggle. “Do we... get drunk and have sex?” He asks and Kyuhyun groans.
“Screw you.”
“That was what you wanted to do, right?” Sungmin continues to tease.
“Screw you again.”
“I already know you want to do that. You don’t have to repeat it again. It scandalizes me,” Sungmin laughs and Kyuhyun glares at him. “What?” Sungmin’s smiles big and sunny.
“Shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun tries to sound serious and stern only that he fails and his words sound like a joke. Sungmin cutely tilts his head to one side. “Ah forget it, goddammit now where do we go for that tea?”
“Go straight ahead and turn left when you reach the first intersection,” Sungmin instructs while laughing loudly.
“Oh for goodness’ sake, shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun complains. He steps on the pedals and the car moves while Sungmin continues to laugh - loud, bubbly, crunchy, infectious.
“Shut up, Sungmin...,” Kyuhyun tries to say again only to get infected by that bubbly laughter. He smiles, he grins and he laughs along with Sungmin. Whatever is the reason for laughing, it got lost somewhere between telling Sungmin to shut up and getting caught up in that bright moment.
Ahh~ it feels good to smile, to laugh, to be completely nonsensical, to joke, to love... to live. As with most good things life has to offer, why do people realize it too late?
---------------------------
The little tea place Sungmin wants to go to is dirty, Kyuhyun notices. Well, it’s not exactly the unhygienic type but it’s more like someplace people won’t go to when they want to relax and de-stress over life. The outside of the place is made of weathered wood with a chipping brown paint. There are vandalisms all over it - graffiti, people’s names... declarations of love... Kyuhyun smirks. The inside is no different. The ceiling is dusty, there’s a small order counter and there are approximately five sets of tables and chairs. Just that and nothing more.
“Are you sure we’re still in Seoul?” Kyuhyun asks Sungmin.
“Relax, rich kid, the tea here is not poisoned,” Sungmin quips.
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and sneezes once.
“I’m more scared of getting viruses and bacteria and dying earlier than scheduled without getting to fulfill a goal,” he retorts and sneezes again. Sungmin grins and Kyuhyun jumps a little when he starts yelling something in what sounds like Japanese language.
“Tell me,” Kyuhyun rubs his face warily. “Why are you yelling?”
Sungmin turns to him and frowns.
“Because he’s almost deaf,” he reasons. “If I won’t shout, I wouldn’t be heard.”
If I won’t shout, I wouldn’t be heard. Kyuhyun curses himself. Maybe he has gone crazy for tying such a statement to his current situation. Shout to be heard, laugh like there’s no tomorrow, cry like an idiot, dance as if no one’s looking, sing like you’re the best in the world, hate another human being, love with all your heart and soul...live. Isn’t that what shouting about life means? All his life, what Kyuhyun seems to have been doing is murmuring a pathetic ‘look at me, I’m alive, look at me’ and no one but his family turns around to say ‘I’m glad you’re living’.
“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me I’m still alive!” Something inside Kyuhyun shouts and squirms, wanting to be heard. He remembers his packing boxes, his empty table, his co-workers... “Damn you all, I’m still alive! Don’t start forgetting me, I’m still alive!” A hole seems to open inside him - dark, needing, wanting. He clenches his fists.
“Kyuhyun?” Sungmin’s quiet voice brings him back to reality. He’s starting to pull an old chair to sit on and a quiet, thin old man is standing beside him. “Something wrong?”
“I hate you for making me think,” Kyuhyun murmurs.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he pulls a chair and sits beside Sungmin.
“This is Bo-chan,” Sungmin introduces the old man beside him. “I don’t know his real name so I call him Bo-chan. He’s Japanese,” he introduces.
“Why’s he in Korea?” Kyuhyun asks dumbly.
“Because he is in Korea...?” Sungmin answers back dumbly and grins. “Kidding. I don’t know why. But he tells me he’s been making tea here for as long as he could remember and when he saves up enough, he’ll go back to Japan and die there.” The words from Sungmin sound gentle and cheerful but something about them strikes Kyuhyun in a melancholy way. Maybe it’s the talk about dying. Maybe it’s the talk about goals. Isn’t it extremely saddening to die without accomplishing a goal?
Kyuhyun smirks.
“Whatever. What’s the best tea here?” He asks, studying the old menu.
“HE ASKED WHAT THE BEST TEA IS!!” Sungmin shouts again and Kyuhyun jumps a little in his seat.
“Seriously...,” Kyuhyun starts to say when the old man’s weathered face breaks into what seems like a grin.
In broken Korean, Bo-chan answers, “Peppermint and Lemon. Tastes like guava but good!” He says. Kyuhyun stares at him for a while and feels a little envious. This old man’s goal is to leave Korea and die in his home country. His goal is to die while Kyuhyun’s goal is to live only until spring and see wisterias. Isn’t it a little unfair? He should grow old like Bo-chan, he should see a hundred more springs and summers and autumns and winters, stare at his weathered face in the mirror, look back on his glory days with satisfaction and at the end of the line choose a place to die in. Just like Bo-chan.
But all he has is only one winter and only one spring to make it work. Why is life so unfair like that?
“Bo-chan told me once that he lost his wife and his daughter during the war,” Sungmin informs Kyuhyun when Bo-chan leaves to make their tea.
“Mhmm...,” Kyuhyun mumbles, disinterested.
“Then he married a pretty Korean and maybe that’s how he got to stay here for so long? But she died early in their marriage and Bo-chan was once again alone. At his age, he probably will die alone, don’t you think?” Sungmin continues to talk and Kyuhyun half-heartedly listens.
“Mhmm...”
“Have you ever been in love, Kyuhyun?” Comes the sudden question.
“What?”
“Oh you know,” Sungmin nonchalantly chitchats. “Love. Ever been in a relationship? Ever had a girlfriend? A boyfriend?” He laughs.
“I’ve had two unsuccessful relationships,” Kyuhyun informs him. “And no, I am not going to tell you about it.”
“I’ve had four,” Sungmin proudly tells him.
“No kidding,” Kyuhyun says sarcastically.
“One was a dancer. His name’s Eunhyuk. The other one was an aspiring actor. He’s funny and he’s an idiot. His name’s Donghae. And then there’s Shindong. He used to be my baking assistant. He’s nice and funny too. And then there’s Yesung...,” Sungmin’s eyes take on a dancing glow, Kyuhyun notices. “Yesung. He’s a singer in a place I frequently go to every Saturday. He’s an idiot, he loves turtles, he loves weird things, he loves octopus... he loves...”
“...you?” Kyuhyun finishes for him. “Why’d you let him go?”
The glow in Sungmin’s eyes disappears.
“Because I had to let him go,” he says. “Most beautiful things in life... and well... life itself... are meant to simply pass through our fingers,” he grins.
“You’re a different kind of selfish, then,” Kyuhyun comments.
“What? Why?”
“Well for one, you don’t simply let go someone you love so much and who loves you back just because you had to. Fight for them. It’s selfish not to fight for them when they’ve given you what you want and so much more, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun says and shrugs. “Just, you know, it’s selfish to let them go if they still want to stay just because you think you had to let them go. Just a thought.”
Sungmin smiles at Kyuhyun.
“How do you know Yesung still wanted to stay with me when I let him go?”
Kyuhyun stays silent as he watches Bo-chan place their cups of tea in front of them. Thin smoke from the hot liquid inside rises up in the air and vanishes into the cold air a second later. Kyuhyun traces the rim of the white cup with his forefinger.
“I don’t know,” he answers Sungmin’s question. “Just... you know, if he really wanted to leave you, you wouldn’t have that sparkle in your eyes when you’re talking about him. If he wanted to really leave you, there should at least be some trace of bitterness within you. From the way you’re speaking, I sense none.”
Sungmin laughs loud.
“Is there some kind of rule that people should be bitter whenever someone they love leaves them?” He challenges.
“Isn’t it supposed to be a natural feeling?” Kyuhyun challenges back, eyes boring into Sungmin’s. “You’d be a hypocrite if you tell me that you’ve gladly, without bitterness, let go of those people you’ve loved. Bitterness is a natural feeling, isn’t it? It means you’ve truly loved and you’ve truly given something worth giving to someone else. At least that’s how I think it should be.”
Sungmin stays silent; Kyuhyun takes a sip of his tea. It’s hot and it indeed tastes like guava. A good kind of guava, he thinks.
“You’re meddling into the business of my very own feelings,” Sungmin jokes quietly.
“The same way that you meddled into the business of my suicide attempt?” Kyuhyun answers back. He looks up from his cup to Sungmin’s face.
A small, teasing smile grazes across Sungmin’s lips and Kyuhyun rolls his eyes.
“I don’t know why I even trust you,” Kyuhyun complains.
“Because you want us to get drunk and have sex,” Sungmin points out and Kyuhyun groans more. Bo-chan appears before them with two slices of homemade cake. “On the house”, he says in broken Korean that sounds too funny to Kyuhyun. So funny that he laughs his guts out until he coughs and chokes.
Sungmin reaches out from across the small table and lightly smacks him.
“You idiot, stop laughing at him!” He demands. Kyuhyun ignores him and laughs anyway.
Ahh~ it feels good to laugh about some trivial thing. Why didn’t he realize it sooner?
“I really want to see wisterias, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin tells him when the last bits of Kyuhyun’s laughter dies out.
“And I need to have a goal,” Kyuhyun answers.
“Let’s be alive until the flowers bloom,” Sungmin suggests and Kyuhyun nods. “...and what if we fall in love along the way?”
“...with each other?”
“With each other.”
“Then...,” Kyuhyun murmurs. Ryeowook’s words echo in his head, clear as a cloudless, sunny day. Fall in love, goddammit, fall in love.
“Then?”
“Then let’s fall in love goddammit, let’s fall in love,” Kyuhyun declares, imitating Ryeowook’s words. Sungmin smiles - sweet, innocent, captivating - and Kyuhyun thinks “I might fall in love, damn you Ryeowook, I might fall in love.”
--------------------------------
Bo-chan cries when Kyuhyun and Sungmin says goodbye. He positions himself by the door and bows deeply when they say their thank yous.
“He always cries when customers leave,” Sungmin says. “He’s seventy, deaf, almost senile and my brother says it’s quite normal for old people to do that. Still, he only has a few loyal customers in this old shop and I think each is special in their own way for him,” he explains. Kyuhyun feels a bit of sympathy for the old man so he shakes his hand and pats his back.
“I’ll come back. I’ll come back if I manage to stay alive until spring,” Kyuhyun murmurs and just when he realizes that the old man is deaf, he hears Sungmin ruining the touching moment by shouting:
“KYUHYUN SAYS HE’LL COME BACK!!”
“Geez! Do you really have to fucking shout? My eardrums just bled,” Kyuhyun complains when they start walking towards his car.
“And do you really have to curse?” Sungmin wrinkles his nose. “My wholesome, innocent ears suffer whenever you curse.”
Kyuhyun pauses while opening his car door.
“What?” Sungmin asks.
“...shut up, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun simply says and motions for him to hurry inside. The sun is now threatening to hide behind the horizon, the afternoon wind is chilly, the sky is darkening and the shadows are lengthening.
“Cold,” Sungmin comments as soon as they are inside Kyuhyun’s car. “Why is your car so cold?”
“Tsk,” Kyuhyun says, removes his jacket and wraps it around Sungmin’s shoulders. “Stop complaining,” he says, involuntarily sounding gentle. He turns towards the steering wheel quickly and fails to see the deep pink blush that creeps on Sungmin’s cheeks.
“You know,” Sungmin says after a while, right before Kyuhyun revs up the engines.
“Yeah?”
“I cried like there’s no tomorrow when Yesung left,” Sungmin admits quietly.
Kyuhyun pauses and takes a peek at Sungmin who is now biting his lips and looking down.
“You look more human this way,” he says.
“What?”
“Instead of some I-am-gonna-die-so-I’m-gonna-teach-you-lessons-in-life kind of guy, you look more human when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and admit that you’re hurt about something and you’re scared about something,” he shrugs. “At least that’s how I think you look.”
Sungmin stares at Kyuhyun, round eyes soft and glowing. Kyuhyun sneezes once and Sungmin unwraps his own scarf from his neck, reaches out and gently coils it around Kyuhyun’s neck. Kyuhyun unconsciously leans towards Sungmin with confused eyes and unspoken words.
“Don’t lend your jacket to strangers when you yourself feel cold,” Sungmin murmurs, face inches apart from Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun closes his eyes, feeling Sungmin’s breath tickling his face. The scarf smells sweet and fruity and nice. Something warm seeps through his skin and spreads through his heart. He feels it softly thumping against his chest with a silent cry as if telling him “hey you, you you, I exist, I’m here, I’m making my presence known. Hey, you.”
“Is this the part where we get drunk and have sex?” Kyuhyun jokes to calm something inside him.
“We don’t have wine,” Sungmin teases back.
“You can’t get drunk with wine,” Kyuhyun answers. “And I’m going to kiss you if you don’t move away.”
“Shit,” Sungmin curses and Kyuhyun grins triumphantly.
“I thought you don’t curse?” Kyuhyun asks, stepping on the pedals and making the car move. Sungmin does not answer and instead leans against the cold windows to cool his reddened face.
“Hey Sungmin?”Kyuhyun asks as if on afterthought.
“Yeah?”
“I want to get to know you more,” Kyuhyun states. “I entrusted you with my dying wish. I don’t want you to be a complete stranger to me.”
-------------------------------
Sungmin bakes the world’s most awesome cakes, Kyuhyun learns one mid-November day when the trees are bald and the leaves on the ground are crunchy. A mid-autumn rain is threatening to fall as the skies are gray and grumpy. The sun is resting behind thick, dark clouds as if it declared a holiday somewhere between rising and setting.
Kyuhyun sits in one of the few easy white chairs inside Sungmin’s bakery while abusing the free wireless internet connection. He orders a blueberry cheesecake from Sungmin’s brother and the younger man happily serves him a huge slice.
“Thank you for visiting my brother,” he whispers and Kyuhyun nods a little. He starts eating the cheesecake and grins at how lovely it tastes. Sungmin’s brother beams at him before moving away to attend to other customers.
Kyuhyun researches on wisterias as he waits for Sungmin and he finds out that wisterias are woody climbing vines. Wisterias are tough vines, he learns, as they can grow even on poor quality soil. Just like tough people, he thinks. Just like people who find joy in simple things; just like people who celebrate life’s simple miracles; just like people who make the best of their limited life. Just like... can it be just like him?
“Hey, you,” Sungmin’s cheerful voice brings Kyuhyun out of his sorry state. “What are you doing here?”
“Taking advantage of your unprotected wireless connection,” Kyuhyun replies quickly. “Wisterias are vines, you idiot,” he says after Sungmin pulls a chair and sits in front of him. “How can there be a field of wisterias when they are vines?”
Sungmin thinks for a while and rolls his eyes at him.
“Do your research properly, Kyuhyun. They are woody, climbing vines, they have a base, they have roots feeding from the ground. And well, even if they’re vines it doesn’t mean there can’t be a field of wisterias!” He defends. “They can coil up a tree or around each other and survive,” he giggles. “Just like us. Two dying people coiling around each other.” Kyuhyun glares at him. “What?”
“Shut up,” Kyuhyun complains.
“Haha!” Sungmin laughs. “It’s cold, I’m starving, let’s have some ramyun with beef and fishcake, what do you say?”
“I just had your cheesecake...,” Kyuhyun starts to say.
“Oh come on!” Sungmin coos. He takes Kyuhyun by the hand and tries to pull him up from his chair. “Come on, Cho Kyuhyun! Geez why are you so uptight?” He complains, earning curious glances from his customers.
“Fine! Fine! I’m going! I’m going! No need to pull me, geez,” Kyuhyun says. Sungmin beams at him and grins idiotically until Kyuhyun points out the obvious. “You’re still in your baking uniform.”
“Ah crap,” Sungmin says.
“I thought you don’t curse?!”
“Stop saying that,” Sungmin groans. “Wait for me here. I’ll just change. Wait for me! Don’t dare escape!” He points a forefinger at Kyuhyun.
“I won’t, go on ahead,” Kyuhyun says and shoos Sungmin away. He feels the lingering coldness of Sungmin’s palm against his own and for a few crazy, almost idiotic moments, he entertains the thought of cradling it within his own warm ones.
“Stupid,” he murmurs.
Sungmin emerges from a side door a few minutes later with a striped scarf and a knitted bonnet. Hands in his jacket pocket, he grins at Kyuhyun and follows him out the door.
“I didn’t bring my car,” Kyuhyun says, walking ahead of Sungmin.
“Then we’ll have to walk,” Sungmin says, blowing on his palms. Kyuhyun turns around to find him rubbing his palms together, creating friction that gives warmth.
“Your hands are cold,” Kyuhyun states the obvious.
“Genius,” Sungmin teases, shoving his hands inside his jacket pockets once again.
Kyuhyun clears his throat, pauses in his steps and faces Sungmin. He bites his lips, debates against himself and finally throws caution to the autumn wind.
“Here,” he offers shyly and stares up at the grumpy skies.
Sungmin’s eyebrows rise in warm surprise when Kyuhyun offers his hand, stands slightly on his toes and looks up at something uninteresting in the wide autumn sky.
“W-what?” Sungmin asks.
Kyuhyun’s fingers shake in shy anticipation.
“Here, if you want it,” he repeats, cursing himself in his head a thousand times over for doing something as idiotic and as impulsive. He waits for a few more seconds, ready to retract his outstretched arm and run like a madman when Sungmin slowly takes his hand and allows his cold one to be enclosed fully in the warmth of Kyuhyun’s palms.
They stand in awkward silence for long moments, like two idiots standing in the middle of Seoul, hands interlinked and sharing the same body heat.
Kyuhyun clears his throat.
“Well, your hands are cold,” he says.
Sungmin blushes a little.
“Your hands are warm.”
Silence wraps its comfortable presence around them as they walk, hand in hand, heart in heart, soul in soul. Their bodies automatically pull closer, they shoulders graze each other, their cheeks blush and their feet move in rhythm. There’s a comfort between them that’s both ironically awkward and charming. Maybe that’s how natural science meddles in on people’s love affairs because in much the same way as basic elements find each other and mix to form unexpected results, people find each other and unexpectedly connect in ways that can only be explained by a term found in the natural sciences: chemistry.
“Let’s switch sides so you can warm up my left hand,” Sungmin jokes and Kyuhyun agrees just for the heck of it.
Like idiots, they trade places and when Sungmin falls a step behind, Kyuhyun looks back, holds out his left hand and says “Come on, you’re being slow”. Sungmin takes it with a scowl and enjoys the warmth that automatically seeps through his fingers, through his skin, to his heart down to his very core. It is a warmth that is more than physical. It is a warmth that brings comfort to something alien inside and allows it to settle down and rest. It is a warmth that’s similar to reassurance; a warmth that’s called comfort; a warmth that most people would probably never recognize to be the quiet beginnings of love.
The cold autumn continues to bite through their skin and the first drops of mid-autumn rain gently lands on their heads. Feeling the cold droplet, Kyuhyun pulls Sungmin along with him and they run like children towards the nearest ramyun shop. Kyuhyun pulls hard, Sungmin trips, almost lands on his face and they laugh before resuming their short journey towards the nearby destination.
Short journey indeed but full of laughter, nonetheless.
“Hey Sungmin,” Kyuhyun says when they come to stand in front of the ramyun shop, hands still interlinked and shoulders still touching. There’s a remaining trace of laughter in his eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I really wish there would be wisterias in heaven,” he says. “But if I can laugh like this while I’m alive, I’m okay with just you being there,” he smiles before letting go of Sungmin’s hand and entering the ramyun shop.
Sungmin is left alone for a moment, blinking and blinking before a smile graces his lips too. He follows Kyuhyun, in some kind of comfortable premonition, and all the while, Kyuhyun’s words dance in his head: let’s fall in love, goddammit, let’s fall in love.
TBC.
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1. Tada! Guess what? I fail at length estimation.
2. I enjoyed writing this too much, omg.
3. Still long-winded and boring and too slow paced.
4. But it is fluff, right?
5. Still lazy to check for grammar mistakes, typos and the likes and I’m still lazy to do a proper research.
6. Okay thanks, bye. (Why the freak did I end with footnote number 6? *not comfortable because I’m OC like that). Ahahaha!