Various
First off, the election. My personal OPINION, we are FUCKED. I don't feel the need to expand on that thought, if you really want to know, ask, I might tell you.
Now... on with my life.
Things are rough right now. Geo is..... well to be honest he has been a MONSTER lately. One minute he is fine, the next he is a raving jerk. I understand partly what is going on. He is really worried about money and the possibility he may loose his job at any moment. I understand that, I really do because I am in the same boat, but I’m not taking it out on him and everyone around me like he is. I feel like a prisoner in my own home because I can’t have an opinion, I can’t speak my mind and I sure as hell can’t call him out for being a rat bastard because I’m being defensive. *sigh* I’m lost right now and I don’t know what to do about it.
I’m already going through empty nest syndrome. K graduates this spring, and is going to collage next fall. Yes I want to see her succeed, yes I want her to start her own life, but damnit, I’m going to miss her so much. She is not just my daughter, she is my best friend. Yes yes, I know, it isn’t like we won’t see each other, and all that crap, but it will change our relationship, and that scares the hell out of me.
Right now I’m just feeling like a failure, a failure at being a parent (I shouldn’t subconsciously be wanting my daughter to live at home the rest of her life), a failure at being a wife (I should be accepting of my husband and understand his needs and fears as a man) and a failure at being a woman in general. Let me explain…..
My guy friends, if you don’t want to know intimate female knowledge of me, don’t read any farther, you have been warned.
I’m having a medical problem. It started in January of this year. My periods are all fucked up. It started out that I missed my period in January. No big thing, it was unusual, but not unheard of for me to be late or even skip a period on occasion, and being that a new woman came into my life at the time (co-worker) it really wasn’t uncommon because I have a tendency to adjust my cycle to women around me. I didn’t think much about it to start with. Then when I started in February it was REALLY heavy, and it lasted two weeks. Again, I wasn’t that surprised, I had missed a month after all, so I didn’t get excited then either, annoyed yes, excited or worried no.
Then came March, and I did the same thing, REALLY heavy flow, and I bled for two weeks. Now let me explain REALLY heavy. We are talking up to 10 SUPER pads in a 12 hour time frame here and not just a little blood on the pad, but saturation. I started to get a bit worried, so I called my OBGYN/nurse practitioner and made an appointment. Went in, got a pap and she prescribed some hormones. The hormones did NOTHING but make me crazy and I had another period from hell. Went back to her and she did a procedure to get tissue sample from my uterus as well as scrape it a bit hoping that would be enough to ‘clean it out’ and set me back on track again. Again, it didn’t help. So now I am sent to the actual OBGYN. This whole time I am having periods that last two weeks ultra heavy flow and now I am spotting between times too.
My OBGYN tells me that at this point we have three options and that we should try them in order. Right now I am on birth control. I has brought the flow WAY down, but I started on the 24th (the day I went to see him) and have not quit yet. I have also noted that my emotions while not rollercoaster extreme, have been effected. I cry over stupid shit, and I’m not dealing as well as I feel I should be with Geo (as noted above). My next option is a new procedure that is an out patient surgery where they go in and burn the lining of my uterus, thus in theory (and with a high success rate) totally eliminating periods. It would mean good drugs and a couple of days out of work. Then if that doesn’t work it is a total hysterectomy which means major surgery and six weeks out of work. I personally would go for the hysterectomy, but Geo has a major problem with it, and to be honest we can’t afford for me to be out of work that long.
So yea, while the year hasn’t been a BAD one, it has been stressful. So much more is going on that I won’t go into here, at least not right now. *sigh* I’m tired, I feel beaten, and I just wish something would go really right for once. I know I know, pity pot much Veck, but I just need to vent right now………..
Now... on with my life.
Things are rough right now. Geo is..... well to be honest he has been a MONSTER lately. One minute he is fine, the next he is a raving jerk. I understand partly what is going on. He is really worried about money and the possibility he may loose his job at any moment. I understand that, I really do because I am in the same boat, but I’m not taking it out on him and everyone around me like he is. I feel like a prisoner in my own home because I can’t have an opinion, I can’t speak my mind and I sure as hell can’t call him out for being a rat bastard because I’m being defensive. *sigh* I’m lost right now and I don’t know what to do about it.
I’m already going through empty nest syndrome. K graduates this spring, and is going to collage next fall. Yes I want to see her succeed, yes I want her to start her own life, but damnit, I’m going to miss her so much. She is not just my daughter, she is my best friend. Yes yes, I know, it isn’t like we won’t see each other, and all that crap, but it will change our relationship, and that scares the hell out of me.
Right now I’m just feeling like a failure, a failure at being a parent (I shouldn’t subconsciously be wanting my daughter to live at home the rest of her life), a failure at being a wife (I should be accepting of my husband and understand his needs and fears as a man) and a failure at being a woman in general. Let me explain…..
My guy friends, if you don’t want to know intimate female knowledge of me, don’t read any farther, you have been warned.
I’m having a medical problem. It started in January of this year. My periods are all fucked up. It started out that I missed my period in January. No big thing, it was unusual, but not unheard of for me to be late or even skip a period on occasion, and being that a new woman came into my life at the time (co-worker) it really wasn’t uncommon because I have a tendency to adjust my cycle to women around me. I didn’t think much about it to start with. Then when I started in February it was REALLY heavy, and it lasted two weeks. Again, I wasn’t that surprised, I had missed a month after all, so I didn’t get excited then either, annoyed yes, excited or worried no.
Then came March, and I did the same thing, REALLY heavy flow, and I bled for two weeks. Now let me explain REALLY heavy. We are talking up to 10 SUPER pads in a 12 hour time frame here and not just a little blood on the pad, but saturation. I started to get a bit worried, so I called my OBGYN/nurse practitioner and made an appointment. Went in, got a pap and she prescribed some hormones. The hormones did NOTHING but make me crazy and I had another period from hell. Went back to her and she did a procedure to get tissue sample from my uterus as well as scrape it a bit hoping that would be enough to ‘clean it out’ and set me back on track again. Again, it didn’t help. So now I am sent to the actual OBGYN. This whole time I am having periods that last two weeks ultra heavy flow and now I am spotting between times too.
My OBGYN tells me that at this point we have three options and that we should try them in order. Right now I am on birth control. I has brought the flow WAY down, but I started on the 24th (the day I went to see him) and have not quit yet. I have also noted that my emotions while not rollercoaster extreme, have been effected. I cry over stupid shit, and I’m not dealing as well as I feel I should be with Geo (as noted above). My next option is a new procedure that is an out patient surgery where they go in and burn the lining of my uterus, thus in theory (and with a high success rate) totally eliminating periods. It would mean good drugs and a couple of days out of work. Then if that doesn’t work it is a total hysterectomy which means major surgery and six weeks out of work. I personally would go for the hysterectomy, but Geo has a major problem with it, and to be honest we can’t afford for me to be out of work that long.
So yea, while the year hasn’t been a BAD one, it has been stressful. So much more is going on that I won’t go into here, at least not right now. *sigh* I’m tired, I feel beaten, and I just wish something would go really right for once. I know I know, pity pot much Veck, but I just need to vent right now………..