Its You
The slience reverberates throughtout the room
As I sit here pondering my sad life
The lonliness that you bring to me
Your action is just a part of
My nostalgic memories
Are burning in my mind
As I think of you
Watching me cry
As I told
You every-
Thing.
-god, i dont know how much more i can take this. i cant sleep very well. I finally fell asleep around 6 am and my mother woke me up at 7:15 to baby-sit. You know, that I got pissed. it was a good sleep too. Dreamless because of my exaustion. I dont even look like i haven't been getting sleep either. i just look the same. My eyes are tired, but i really dont get bags or dark circles. i just hope it stays that way. I hate it when people know how i really feel. i try and keep my heart inside, instead of on my sleeve. god, its hard not thinking about her. the candy i bought is just making it worse. yesterday i bought her favorite candy when i went to the mall. it took me 6 1/2 hrs to eat one. i stopped and cried, off and on. its hard, dealing with all of this without her. usually i just sit with her and let myself feel. no longer can i do that. so now how will i heal? if i ever heal. i can try with all of my heart to, but deep down i know that it probably be to no avail. i love to write so much, but how can i, when things reflect her? i cant deal with the pain like that. if you noticed, i ususally start entries, with either pertinent lyrics, or a poem that i wrote. i assure you, all of my poetry comes from my soul. no where else. i just write. sometimes its careful placing of words and syllables, like the one above, or else its just random. i have so many scattered throughout this journal. i hope she takes the time to read them. i had a revelation at like 2 in the morning, and i must tell it to her. but i think she is running from me. *sigh* i cant live like this no longer. especially without her. i got a xanga yesterday, my friend shannon decided i needed one. its cool. i guess.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=privateradiogirl
thats the url. before long, i think i will use it often. perhaps i will update now. well i dont know what to think any more. all i think of is her.
As I sit here pondering my sad life
The lonliness that you bring to me
Your action is just a part of
My nostalgic memories
Are burning in my mind
As I think of you
Watching me cry
As I told
You every-
Thing.
-god, i dont know how much more i can take this. i cant sleep very well. I finally fell asleep around 6 am and my mother woke me up at 7:15 to baby-sit. You know, that I got pissed. it was a good sleep too. Dreamless because of my exaustion. I dont even look like i haven't been getting sleep either. i just look the same. My eyes are tired, but i really dont get bags or dark circles. i just hope it stays that way. I hate it when people know how i really feel. i try and keep my heart inside, instead of on my sleeve. god, its hard not thinking about her. the candy i bought is just making it worse. yesterday i bought her favorite candy when i went to the mall. it took me 6 1/2 hrs to eat one. i stopped and cried, off and on. its hard, dealing with all of this without her. usually i just sit with her and let myself feel. no longer can i do that. so now how will i heal? if i ever heal. i can try with all of my heart to, but deep down i know that it probably be to no avail. i love to write so much, but how can i, when things reflect her? i cant deal with the pain like that. if you noticed, i ususally start entries, with either pertinent lyrics, or a poem that i wrote. i assure you, all of my poetry comes from my soul. no where else. i just write. sometimes its careful placing of words and syllables, like the one above, or else its just random. i have so many scattered throughout this journal. i hope she takes the time to read them. i had a revelation at like 2 in the morning, and i must tell it to her. but i think she is running from me. *sigh* i cant live like this no longer. especially without her. i got a xanga yesterday, my friend shannon decided i needed one. its cool. i guess.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=privateradiogirl
thats the url. before long, i think i will use it often. perhaps i will update now. well i dont know what to think any more. all i think of is her.