(no subject)
ok all im asking is why?
It was all ok, I was finally discovering who I really was and whats important to me but then all of a sudden it went downhill.
What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit!!??!
I work hard for my grades which are now slowly going down the drain as well as my future, I try to be the best friend I can and working my ass off doing so and I can see how well thats working out, and at home when I wanna talk I do but if I don't then I get yelled at for having an attitude or for being disrespectful.
I seriously want to know what is wrong?....Is there something that needs to be said, is there something that needs to be done? IS THERE NE THING I CAN DO?!
Why are the "best years of my life" sooo shitty!? I know I can change that but whenever I do something worse happens...I really don't understand this.
I know I learn from my mistakes, but apparently I just keep making them left and right and I havent had any time to do some redeeming.
I love all the people who have been there and that I'v gone to for advice.....You guys are the ones that keep me as sane as I can be. You guys really would know if you are the ones I am talking about and if your not sure, then ask yourself, have i done ne thing to offend alex?, if so wat?, is alex keeping her distance from me?......those are just a few to question yourself.
Now looking back on what I'v wrote makes me seem very conceited cuz all I keep saying is "I"....but now I don't care. I'll be as conceited as the rest to get my point across if I have to. It seems like I'v been putting whats important to the back and what I WANT to be important to the front. But what I want to be important isen't making me happy at all. And I just cant seem to flip the 2 now.
As said in a recent convo. with a very good friend, I wish I was set with a magic marker. Making colors change when I want and erasing the not needed. O that would be the life. But its not as simple as that and I see that now.
All I want to know is why this is happening to me and what I can do to change it?
I am not willing to change myself for this but to change my surroundings. So if I change a surrounding that doesnt fit into your busy schedules, then the pressure is put on you if your willing to stick with me.
This is the last comment entry for a while because I just cant seem to want any comments on these entries now...so whatever you want to say to me, you better say it now or forever hold your peace. (Or just IM me)
It was all ok, I was finally discovering who I really was and whats important to me but then all of a sudden it went downhill.
What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit!!??!
I work hard for my grades which are now slowly going down the drain as well as my future, I try to be the best friend I can and working my ass off doing so and I can see how well thats working out, and at home when I wanna talk I do but if I don't then I get yelled at for having an attitude or for being disrespectful.
I seriously want to know what is wrong?....Is there something that needs to be said, is there something that needs to be done? IS THERE NE THING I CAN DO?!
Why are the "best years of my life" sooo shitty!? I know I can change that but whenever I do something worse happens...I really don't understand this.
I know I learn from my mistakes, but apparently I just keep making them left and right and I havent had any time to do some redeeming.
I love all the people who have been there and that I'v gone to for advice.....You guys are the ones that keep me as sane as I can be. You guys really would know if you are the ones I am talking about and if your not sure, then ask yourself, have i done ne thing to offend alex?, if so wat?, is alex keeping her distance from me?......those are just a few to question yourself.
Now looking back on what I'v wrote makes me seem very conceited cuz all I keep saying is "I"....but now I don't care. I'll be as conceited as the rest to get my point across if I have to. It seems like I'v been putting whats important to the back and what I WANT to be important to the front. But what I want to be important isen't making me happy at all. And I just cant seem to flip the 2 now.
As said in a recent convo. with a very good friend, I wish I was set with a magic marker. Making colors change when I want and erasing the not needed. O that would be the life. But its not as simple as that and I see that now.
All I want to know is why this is happening to me and what I can do to change it?
I am not willing to change myself for this but to change my surroundings. So if I change a surrounding that doesnt fit into your busy schedules, then the pressure is put on you if your willing to stick with me.
This is the last comment entry for a while because I just cant seem to want any comments on these entries now...so whatever you want to say to me, you better say it now or forever hold your peace. (Or just IM me)