(no subject)
Have
you ever feel like you missed out on something by living here? Dont get
me wrong i think its great. but i miss not having a background, a
culture in a way, a past. i was watching sisterhood of the traveling
pants today at devons. and Lena goes to greece to be with her family,
her past, where she has come from. if i wanted to do that, where would
i go? i dont know. im so mixed, i dont have a place to go. i dont get
to say, yeah im greek, im italian, im russian, im latina. all i can say
is ahh im a little bit german and im a lil french canadian. other than
that? i have no clue. i dont have any traditions that come from my
culture, cuz i dont have one. its really sad, i wish i could have that.
im me thats all i can say. but you cant share that with anyone else,
and thats the whole point of it. part of who you are is where you came
from, and i dont know that.
sorry. enough rambling. i havent written in here in a while. not much intiresting has been happening. actually a lot has. but im to busy to write. volleyball has been good. our last regular season game is tomorrow. its sad. but its been great. but i know we will all stay together anyway cuz we are awesome friends anyway. friends have also been great. i am so lucky to have them. the 9th was the 7th aniversary of my dads death. i cannot beleive it. i dont want to beleive it. they say the pain goes away with time, no it doesnt. you just learn to shove it away into a little corner of your heart until you are strong enough to let it again. or else it just stays there gettin heavier and heavier until its to hard to handle. then you just have to relearn to shove it back into that little corner. i still havent learned to handle it yet. then again i havent learned to remember yet. anyway. other than volleyball and friends, not much has been happening, there hasnt been much time. lots of homework and school. went to michigan last weekend (as in i came home last night), going to missouri this weekend. camp in a box on thursday. hope i can go. my microwave broke. i think thats about it. have a splendid morning/day/evening/night.
sorry. enough rambling. i havent written in here in a while. not much intiresting has been happening. actually a lot has. but im to busy to write. volleyball has been good. our last regular season game is tomorrow. its sad. but its been great. but i know we will all stay together anyway cuz we are awesome friends anyway. friends have also been great. i am so lucky to have them. the 9th was the 7th aniversary of my dads death. i cannot beleive it. i dont want to beleive it. they say the pain goes away with time, no it doesnt. you just learn to shove it away into a little corner of your heart until you are strong enough to let it again. or else it just stays there gettin heavier and heavier until its to hard to handle. then you just have to relearn to shove it back into that little corner. i still havent learned to handle it yet. then again i havent learned to remember yet. anyway. other than volleyball and friends, not much has been happening, there hasnt been much time. lots of homework and school. went to michigan last weekend (as in i came home last night), going to missouri this weekend. camp in a box on thursday. hope i can go. my microwave broke. i think thats about it. have a splendid morning/day/evening/night.