"I hurt myself today, to see if i still feel"
Have you ever read something that made you feel so many things you didn't know what to do.
I tend to hate reading adult(not dirty adult but grown up adult) books. The ones that dont always have the cute happy ending, the simple stories.
There are very few books i read that arent happy, same with movies. i dont want to see the sad story that doenst have the super amazing ending.
I guess maybe they're too true to life.
I mean im in love with a show that is great but more real than not, so i turn to fanfiction to fill the void that the show leaves.
But i encountered a fic, a glorious amazing, masterpiece of a fic, that read more like a novel than Frankenstein.
It was way more than smut, way more than anything that's on TV.
It took the names and ideas of some of the characters i practically live for and put real feelings and issues behind them, more than just being gay, but...idk its hard to explain, but it had almost an epilogue chapter, with quotes from Johnny Cash's Hurt...which i immediately downloaded, describing how these characters felt at the end of the story. And it wasnt a perfect happy ending where everyone was feeling good. It expressed a story like life, that not everything is solved at the end of the 22 minute ep with alotted commercial air time.
And i cry.
and i dont know if thats good because i feel, because some of these characters couldnt. there was a lot of crying in this fic, and now that its done, its hard to just go to bed like im ok.
and im totally rambling
its like almost 4 in the morning
and i had no one to say this too. so i wrote it down.
this is why i dont read grown up stories.
I tend to hate reading adult(not dirty adult but grown up adult) books. The ones that dont always have the cute happy ending, the simple stories.
There are very few books i read that arent happy, same with movies. i dont want to see the sad story that doenst have the super amazing ending.
I guess maybe they're too true to life.
I mean im in love with a show that is great but more real than not, so i turn to fanfiction to fill the void that the show leaves.
But i encountered a fic, a glorious amazing, masterpiece of a fic, that read more like a novel than Frankenstein.
It was way more than smut, way more than anything that's on TV.
It took the names and ideas of some of the characters i practically live for and put real feelings and issues behind them, more than just being gay, but...idk its hard to explain, but it had almost an epilogue chapter, with quotes from Johnny Cash's Hurt...which i immediately downloaded, describing how these characters felt at the end of the story. And it wasnt a perfect happy ending where everyone was feeling good. It expressed a story like life, that not everything is solved at the end of the 22 minute ep with alotted commercial air time.
And i cry.
and i dont know if thats good because i feel, because some of these characters couldnt. there was a lot of crying in this fic, and now that its done, its hard to just go to bed like im ok.
and im totally rambling
its like almost 4 in the morning
and i had no one to say this too. so i wrote it down.
this is why i dont read grown up stories.