worried
Here's the thing: I am getting help but I'm still scared that Kayla will hook back up with one of her ex's and I'll completley lose her. :( I don't want that to happen, but I don't want to tell her how I feel becuase then she'll prbly think I'm too forward or too pushy or too something. Ugh what to do, what to do? I can't call Greenich, it's too late at night (obviously). I want her back more than anything in the world. I'll be totally honest with ya'll, when she told me that she has some things to work out, the unbeliving jerk in me didn't belive her...I want to belive her, but something inside me won't let me. I love her more than anything and I do want to belive her, but I just can't for some reason. I'm working on that tho, and hopefully I can build trust in ppl again. I've just been hurt so many times I can't trust nemore. Kayla, if you read this, I'm sorry for not beliving u sometimes. I do want to, but belive me hun, it's so hard for me to...but for you I am trying to, becuase if we're ever going to have any kind of relationship I need to learn to trust u and belive u. I promise I'll work on that, and about the whole taking my stress out on u. I promise I can be an excellent boyfriend to u if u just plz plz plz take me back. I love u so much.
On another note, it's slightly over a year ago that I met Leslie. Really, if you want to look back on it, she's kinda the root cause of a bunch of my problems that came from this summer. For example, my extreme depression, my suicidal tendancies, my totally bashed self-confidence. Well, that and the fact I'm flat broke b/c I spent all my money to go see her...holy shit was I stupid. Ugh, not going into that again, too many emotions and such. I just wish that that chapter in my life was one that never happened. ::burns the chapter about Leslie::
Well, I know I've output alot of shit tonight, but I had to get it off my chest. Feel free to tune in tomorrow night for more of my insane ranting. ::nod::
-Aaron
On another note, it's slightly over a year ago that I met Leslie. Really, if you want to look back on it, she's kinda the root cause of a bunch of my problems that came from this summer. For example, my extreme depression, my suicidal tendancies, my totally bashed self-confidence. Well, that and the fact I'm flat broke b/c I spent all my money to go see her...holy shit was I stupid. Ugh, not going into that again, too many emotions and such. I just wish that that chapter in my life was one that never happened. ::burns the chapter about Leslie::
Well, I know I've output alot of shit tonight, but I had to get it off my chest. Feel free to tune in tomorrow night for more of my insane ranting. ::nod::
-Aaron