Feb 28, 2009 17:14
Mike is still covered in soot, reeking of smoke and blood. His cuffs are stained, his shoes are filthy, and his hair is greasy and tousled from where he has been running his fingers through it in frustration at not being able to do enough.
Before him, his father paced. Mike had tuned out the ranting ten minutes ago. He'd only come up to get sturdier shoes, a warmer shirt. There had been a lull in the procession of the dying, and Gerard's sharp comments about the finery Mike had been wearing when he had raced downhill at the summons was warning enough.
He hadn't given a thought to his parents, or what they might say. He had been too tired to take note of the stares he had received on the street. No doubt the gossip was already in full flood. His father had summoned him as he was tugging on his country boots, and Michael's new-found awareness of his surroundings didn't miss the dark figures lurking in the shadows as he came downstairs.
His father was making sure he had control of his son, by fair means or foul.
"You must remember your duty, Michael!" His father's finger jabbing him in the chest pulled him back to the present. Mike was near swaying on his feet in exhaustion, light-headed after a day and a night breathing the ash floating in from where the fires still burned. His father's finger hit his chest again. "Michael! Are you even listening to me? You must remember where you belong!"
Mike blinked, the fatigue in his bones and the soot in his eyes pulling away the blinkers he had worn all his life, leaving only perfect clarity behind. "I know where I belong. And if you'll excuse me, I must get back." He reached over and picked up the heavy coat he had tossed onto the chaise.
His mother's eyes were wide as she rose and touched his cheek. "You would throw your lot in with them, the louts and the criminals? You would chose them over us?" She searched for and found the answer in her son's eyes. "Why?" Mike vaguely realized that this was the most emotion he had ever seen his mother display. "Let others go to them, the priests and nuns, it is what they are for. Why do you have to go?"
Mike pulled on his coat, fastened his scarf. Night was drawing and the air was cold. "Because they need me." He paused, leaned in and placed a delicate, formal kiss on her cheek. "And I need them. I can't abandon them now."
Mike's hand was on the doorhandle when his father spoke again. "If you leave, know that you leave for good."
Mike didn't pause, didn't turn around. He opened the door. "Goodbye," he said, letting it slam shut behind him.
...
Kevin's waiting when he gets back--when he gets home, and it actually feels good to let himself think that finally, although he knows he's still getting ahead of himself, a bit.
Kevin stands when Mike walks into the room, walks over and kisses his cheek. He gives a sleepy smile and says, "I was going to take a catnap before going back out. Join me?"
He looks exhausted, worn to the bone, and Mike wishes more than anything that he could put off the conversation they're about to have and just let Kevin sleep, but after time has passed, he's not sure he'll be able to bring it up, so he says, "Could I, maybe, talk to you for a minute first?"
Kevin maybe looks a little nervous, but to his credit his voice is steady as he suggests, "Could we maybe talk lying down? I'm not sure how much longer I can stay upright."
When they're settled in bed, Mike says, "My family was...not happy, that I came back here."
"Oh," Kevin says, a little faintly, and then, "You know, you don't need to stay. If you're needed at home-"
"But Kev, I do need to stay. I need to be here. I couldn't live with myself if I left now. But my father--he said that if I left today, it would be the last time."
Kevin goes utterly, utterly still in his arms, remains frozen as he says, "But you're here," in a blank, neutral voice.
"Yes..." Mike trails off, suddenly nervous.
"You can't give up your life for me, Mike," Kevin says, voice still expressionless.
"It's not--it wouldn't be giving up my life, it would be choosing a different one. Kev, I've wanted to make a life with you for a long time, this just forced the issue."
"I can't promise you a future," Kevin says, and his voice is soft now, indistinct and hard to read, and Mike feels as if he's been slapped. He withdraws his arms, moves blindly towards the other side of the bed, saying, mumbling, really, "If that's how you feel--"
"It's got nothing to do with how I feel, Mike," Kevin says, and he sounds desperate now, and closer to tears than Mike has ever seen him, "I'd promise you the rest of my life in a heartbeat, but that doesn't mean all that much, you know?"
Mike doesn't know. He hopes the 'you're crazy' look he's giving Kevin gets that across, because he's not sure he can say anything coherant in the face of the contradictory information Kevin's sending his way.
"It's just--the rest of my life--it isn't going to last nearly as long as the rest of yours. Mike--people who do what I do--well, you can't just give up the life you had planned, can't give up your family, for something that isn't going to last. That can't last."
Kevin looks regertful and uncertain and lost and not entirely sure, to Mike's eyes, that he believes what he's saying. Mike looks him in the eye and knows, with a painful clarity, that he truly made the right choice. He reaches out, pulls Kevin to him, and holds on so tight as he whispers, "I was afraid you might have an actual good reason why you didn't want me around. You're my family, Kev. We'll have whatever time we have, but I'm not going to waste it."
...
Mike is there when Kevin wakes up, their arms and legs tangled together. For a single, selfish moment, Kevin considers just going back to sleep, but the noise of the street is trickling into his consciousness and he knows selfishness is a luxury he can ill-afford.
Mike's eyes are already fluttering open, and he smiles as they focus on Kevin. Before Kevin can say anything, Mike is kissing him. Kevin kisses back, just as hard.
They then both roll out of bed, put their boots on, and walk out onto the shattered street, hand-in-hand.
char: kevin,
band: jonas brothers,
char: mike,
arc: the great fire,
arc: kevin/mike relationship,
band: the academy is...