rambling... i'm serious.
There are so many things on my mind right now I wish I could write. Maybe I will have to make a real journal, one that only I can read and no one else... so I can truly say what is on my mind. It is nothing bad or against anyone. Just things that are on my mind that I would not really want anyone else to know ~ lest they think I am crazy or that I think too much lol...
All I know, is that I long to have another friendship like one I used to have a long time ago. I would hear sermons of Jonathan's and David's friendship... and that would and still does remind me of a friendship that I used to have. *~*
If God does not want me to have a friend like that now... it is undoubtably for good. It is just hard to swallow... I used to love being alone. Now I can hardly stand it. Yes I have family & all of my church & school friends...and granted they are great people! But then there's that friend that comes along once in a lifetime. Maybe twice if you are blessed. And I like to think that there is one for everyone and that you are one to atleast one person...
*~* I just hope that the one time I had that best friend... was not the last. I miss that kind of friendship so much. I cannot even begin to explain.
Then this is where I come to the realization that if I am missing that kind of friendship, companionship, that much... then I am relying on the wrong thing.
Perhaps God is teaching me to rely on Him first, again ~ to make His Son my best friend, before He brings that kind of earthly friend into my life? Or perhaps He is teaching me to appreciate that kind of friendship by letting me be without for a time...
Whatever the case may be, I must learn that it is not about me... but I must also learn since He says All things work together for good for His children... since that is what glorifies Him... it will be for my best. So I need not worry.
I do not know what the intricate workings of His will are... but whatever they are, I am excited & desire to know =)
My current pity party is over, Now I must go & learn not to think of myself.
All I know, is that I long to have another friendship like one I used to have a long time ago. I would hear sermons of Jonathan's and David's friendship... and that would and still does remind me of a friendship that I used to have. *~*
If God does not want me to have a friend like that now... it is undoubtably for good. It is just hard to swallow... I used to love being alone. Now I can hardly stand it. Yes I have family & all of my church & school friends...and granted they are great people! But then there's that friend that comes along once in a lifetime. Maybe twice if you are blessed. And I like to think that there is one for everyone and that you are one to atleast one person...
*~* I just hope that the one time I had that best friend... was not the last. I miss that kind of friendship so much. I cannot even begin to explain.
Then this is where I come to the realization that if I am missing that kind of friendship, companionship, that much... then I am relying on the wrong thing.
Perhaps God is teaching me to rely on Him first, again ~ to make His Son my best friend, before He brings that kind of earthly friend into my life? Or perhaps He is teaching me to appreciate that kind of friendship by letting me be without for a time...
Whatever the case may be, I must learn that it is not about me... but I must also learn since He says All things work together for good for His children... since that is what glorifies Him... it will be for my best. So I need not worry.
I do not know what the intricate workings of His will are... but whatever they are, I am excited & desire to know =)
My current pity party is over, Now I must go & learn not to think of myself.