VERY SAD
Why is it that the only time I want to speak to my father is this time of year? I turned 20 yesterday. By now I thought I would be use to not getting a call or card from him. I hate the man. The last time I spoke to him was 4 days after my sweet sixteen and not even a happy birthday out of him. Talked to him for hours and I had to remind him of it. It hurts at the same time when I think about it because I was daddy's little girl. When he left I had nobody. Nothing to do. I think that is why I took up sports. Thought maybe he would come watch. BUt no, even when he promised he never showed up. At times I wish he would never come back but there are times I want him back. I want to do the things we use to. I hate when I sit up at night and cry. I always wonder if he is safe and not hurt. I wonder if he thinks of his kids. He sent a card last year and I todl my brother to send it back. I just want to see him for one more time in my life and ask him why. Why he left? Why doesn't he call? Why did he never come get us on the weekends like he was suppose to? WHy?? There are so many things I want him to answer. Why doesn't he love me??? I don't think I speak of him to my so called friends. I think I lost trust in everybody because of him. I always trusted every word he said even though I knew he would do it. I MISS MY DADDY. I WANT MY DADDY BACK....