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Dec 17, 2010 11:47

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Had to think kind of hard about this one. I fail at regret. It's not like I don't regret things I've done, per se; it's just that I, um...forget 'em..."Well," I think, "that sucked a lot and was a bad decision, but if I dwell on it I shall only leak useless angst out my ears. So! Enough of that rubbish." :/ Is that a brand of stoicism? Does that fall under 'understanding what you can't control'?

Anyway, dredging up the (pfft) dreadful secrets of my (what?) sordid past...


1. I wish I hadn't metamorphosed into Bitchy McAnxious my last night in Nice at the end of the Corsica trip this summer. No sleep, foreign country, feeling responsible for more than I was ready for, I get why it happened, but I think I was really unpleasant and alienated people--it soured what was otherwise a wonderful experience. :( I still feel bad when I think about it.

2. Humbling as it was, I should not have taken AP Chemistry junior year. Yyyyeah. Humbling dissolved right into profoundly humiliating. Granted, I didn't know I was going to have the most unsympathetic teacher imaginable, but even if he hadn't constantly insulted me for not understanding the material I...still would have spent a year rereading chapters over & over and not understanding them. |D Wow! It was almost amazing. I've never felt that stupid, before or since.

3. I broke up with someone the wrong way, a long time ago. I don't regret the breakup--well, mostly--but oh, lord, the way I did it. I am so sorry. The reasons I gave weren't the real reasons, and they were phrased wrong, and delivered in the wrong medium, and at the wrong time. Hey, you--you deserved better, and you deserve all that you have now. Thank you. ♥

4. Could've done without the massive bout of inferiority back in the day, thanks to my infatuation with & envy of a certain person with a poisonous personality. Ugh! Can't believe it took me so long to realize that this person was, in fact, awful. Particularly since I had friends and family telling me as much for months before! Whoops. My bad.

5. I wish I hadn't been so damnably underconfident throughout most of high school, really. Particularly in theatre. Grow a spine, Kimble. Sheesh. There are things I could've done & friends I could've made but I didn't because I was too busy going "Waaah! Nobody'll ever like meee!" Well, no, they certainly will not with an attitude like that. Thanks to you, Kimble-of-the-past, I still feel ashamed and awkward in certain people's company because I know their only and strongest impression of me was left by you. Hmph.

6. I should never have deleted all those e-mails! Auuugh! Why??? I wanted those! T_T The one time I broke my vow not to get rid of writing or correspondence. Never agaaaaain.

That one wasn't very interesting. |D Ah, well. The nature of memes?

I don't really have much of anything to say, though I'll probably crawl in shame back to handfulofpeas soon enough & get back to documenting Plan-progress. Right now the thing looks like I haven't worked on Plan in over a month, and that simply isn't true.

Also: Goodbye Chains? Anyone? Anyone? I'll just sit over here with a dopey grin on my face and a deep desire to hug the nonexistent and incorporeal.


E.
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