(no subject)

[vaticancityrock]

is it sweet insanity
that I see him every time I look in the mirror
his face twisting in that sick smile
the laughter shattering my ears
why do you feel this way
you can't hate me for keeping calm
but when you've been walked over
stabbed in the back

forced to watch
your own apocalypse
and follow to your downfall
now you're broken
beyond repair
smiling to the very end
in your own head
you see no light
no hope
no way out this time
it's not like before

laughing and bleeding
reaching out for anyways willing to hold you
not this time
no
nobody is there
in the darkness
she left you in
you hate everything
they aren't worth it
not anymore

this time
the nightmare won't end
because there is nobody left

this battle
I fight everyday
sometimes losing
sometimes winning
maybe it doesn't matter
maybe its meaningless

that sick smile
so tired of being thrown away
when giving all I have
so tired of being stabbed in the heart
while you walk away
as if it means nothing to you
do you really love me
or is it just something you feel like saying
did I mean a damn thing to you
or was it just a dream
a thought that was nothing more

my mind tearing in half
day by day
I can feel his presence now
eating away at my thoughts
his anger
tearing away at my consciousness
what can I do
he has been right all along
the good person I once was
is fading away
why keep fighting it