As the hour met the minute hand

[stridertime]

Who: Dave Strider and the Jolly Inhabitants of Vatheon
Location: Central Plaza
Time: Afternoon? Idk man
Style: Anything goes
Status: Open!

Comments

[breathingheir]

You are John Egbert, and you have been up to plenty of shenanigans. Your life has turned into a sitcom during your stay here. But you won't actually retell your cool stories here, because right now, as you walk around buying last-minute Christmas presents for your friends, you find your best bud Dave Strider at the Plaza looking like a soaked Blue Beetle in the middle of the snow. You captchalogue your shopping bags and walk up to him. You really missed the guy. What do you even say to him?

"Hey, dude. You look like a doofus."

[stridertime]

That is definitely not what you say to someone as cool as Dave Strider. What the hell are you on Egbert?

"Except I look cool in whatever I'm wearing, rain or shine. You're the one that always looks like a doofus," he retorts back casually. He sounds more relieved though. Because seriously, he hadn't seen John in forever. As much as he loved the major freakout that John's letter apparently caused (read: only Karkat), it was actually nice to see the other. "Where the fuck you been. Do you realize that being surrounded by the jolly trolls of Alternia isn't as amazing as it sounds?"

[breathingheir]

"I have been here! Weird time shit. Where are you from the Alpha timeline?" For some reason, he had a towel captchalogued, so he's handing that to Dave. "Oh, and as your friendleader, I guess I can totally give you the "low-down" --" complete with airquotes "-- of this place or would you prefer Karkat do it? That dude is like Customer Service."

[stridertime]

Dave just takes the towel from John and starts drying his hair off. The shades remained on his face somehow even with all the activity. "I finally came face to face with the trolls. They are not as cool as they seemed." If he actually thought they were cool. "Naw, dude. Lay it on me. I think I might prolong my reunion for Karkat considering the last thing I saw was him make a complete utter fool of himself. Even Terezi was embarrassed for him."

[breathingheir]

"Oh. Yeah, me too, but we met here. Yeah, they are pretty lame but they are great too

[stridertime]

"I'm stuck on a fucking meteor with them. It's going to be a riot because they apparently put Rose and I in charge." God they are just majorly fucked

[breathingheir]

"And Karkat went with that willingly? What kind of ass-backwards timeline are you on?" There was something not right about this, though. He makes a pensive face, gears click and he figures it out. "You said the trolls, you and Rose, right? ...What about me and Jade?

"And quit being a drama queen, it is not actually that bad. This place is great. It is like a free vacation!" He watches Dave inspect his arms and John makes a disgusted look on his face. "Oh god, if it is not on your arms, it must be somewhere weird like your butt or something. You are going to look like a cheap prostitute." John does nod at the sale comment, though! In his mind, he has already made a sale with Dave. Positivity! "Yes, yes, I am. I am not saying you should go buy something now, but... maybe when you are less confused about this place, all right?" He pats him on the back.

"Sure, let's go with that. Come on, dude, I already have Jade and Rose there! I just need you now. Gotta catch 'em all, hehe."

[stridertime]

"Actually, he threw a bit of a hissy fit then he shut up. And by shut up I mean he stopped breathing. Apparently he has to hold his breath while staying quiet. These fuckers are ridiculous." There's a pause. More time shenanigans. Of course John wouldn't know. "That's the thing. You guys apparently used Jade's fucking witch powers to throw a pail at us." He will conveniently leave out the part where it hit Karkat in his face. That's a story for another time. "It had a letter to us. It looks like we won't be seeing each other for three fucking years or something."

"Holy shit dude. Help me find this sucker. I refuse to think they'd put it on my dick or something." He's pulled his pants up, but his legs are clean too. What the fuck is this bullshit.

Dave made a swooning motion. "Oh, Mr. Egbert. Do take me away to your place so I may fall for more of your goofy and ridiculous antics."

[breathingheir]

"Wow, okay, that actually does sound like him. Oh god, I threw a bucket at you guys? That is a horrible decision, Alpha Timeline Me." He will conveniently leave out the part where he dropped a bucket full of blue Gatorade on Karkat's head a few months back, successfully giving the guy an unwarranted boner and a broken heart all on the same day.

John nods and helps Dave out with his tattoo search. He walks behind him, gathers up his cape and lifts the back of his shirt, and then he realizes how weird this must look. "Sorry. I promise I will take you to dinner and a movie first next time."

"And you can make me fall for more of your nerdy raps and hilariously bad street cred? Maybe eventually we will get to that next level and raise kids or something."

[stridertime]

"You fuck up good you know. I swear it's a bitch to rectify your screw ups all the time." Dave says it in a good-natured tone, but he also sounds a little weary. Honestly, the thought of not having to keep dealing with these time shenanigans for at least a bit is nice. How long have they been in their session anyways? Or maybe he's tired because he kind of just recently died. Death via explosion. Intense shit.

"Whatever dude. As long as you aren't looking down my pants, we have not reached ultra awkward might be reaching kind of really homo levels yet. Since you checked, is it there? I swear I will find this little shit." He snorts. "And a milkshake. Dave Strider is an expensive dude."

"Like you have any street cred to show. I don't know if I can do kids. How will I ever get my sexy on if there are tykes all over our shit?"

[breathingheir]

1/2

His voice lowers in an almost-whisper when he says: "Sorry. You and the others go through lengths to protect me. That is not going to happen here, okay? I can control my powers pretty well now. I have your back." Since he's behind him, John doesn't do anything to hide the sad expression he just made. But it's John, and if there's a way to convert a pout into a tone of voice, then he just did it.

[breathingheir]

2/2

He quietly returns to tattoo hunting. "No, wait --" John kind of kneels behind Dave and practically puts his head inside his shirt (god, they must look so weird). He spots a hint of black around Dave's neck and -- yes. He stands up, tugs Dave's stupid hood down, tugs it lower, and fondly regards the tattoo at the back of his neck. "Found it! It's on your neck, at the back? Yeah, yeah, I will bring flowers too.

"We can leave them off at a friend's or something? And then we can get our gay freak on all over our house, duh. Haha, just kidding."

[stridertime]

"Christ, John. I'm not trying to get you down. How is it you're the only fucker I know that can translate pouts into text and tone. It's like a fucking talent. If I had a problem with your god damn stupid antics, I would say so. I would call you out so bad on your shit that you wouldn't know what to do about my forwardness but fall to your knees and suck my dick. By the way, don't you dare actually do that." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. Huh, that isn't so bad actually. kind of tasteful. There were no shitty names on it or anything. "Flowers? Wow. Why don't you just take me now while you're at it?"

"Wow, why don't you just say that louder? Let this entire fucking place know we're heterosexual partners for life."

[breathingheir]

Okay. John makes a stupid snort at that. He knows Dave, and beneath all the exasperation and dick sucking, he's really sweet. "Congratulations, you look like a teenage girl trying to be edgy instead."

John takes a step back and just yells, for the entire Plaza to know, "DAVE AND I ARE HOMOSEXUALS FOR EACH OTHER!"

[stridertime]

"Way to hurt my fucking pride. My dick is shriveling up as we speak."

Okay, Dave didn't expect John to yell that out so loudly. He's inwardly freaking out a bit actually. This is completely uncool. Like, wow way to make shitty first impressions uncool. Of course it doesn't show on his face. At least, not completely. There's a twitch from his mouth and he can feel his ears and cheeks get slightly warmer. "Holy fuck, John! What the fuck are you doing?!"

[breathingheir]

As if completely reading Dave's mind, John bursts into a fit of laughter and holds onto Dave's shoulder for support so he doesn't start rolling on the snow. He knows Dave must be mortified, considering he cares so much about what people think of him, so he waves away the onlookers, as if saying, nothing to see here, folks. They shrug and walk away.

"You told me to tell them, right? Oh, come on, bro, I'm just kidding around. Geez. They won't actually believe me. They've seen me go on dates with Aradia, it's cool." He moves his hand from Dave's shoulder to his arm. "Well, come on, I will show you our fly "crib"!"