Open Log
Characters: wavesoakedlegs, behisstrength, kagayakashi and all the guests!
Location: 12 Olie Street in the Phanga neighbourhood.
Time: Throughout the afternoon.
Style: Whatever you wish!
Status: This is an open log for Gracia's birthday celebrations, so set up threads and mingle with one another. Anybody is welcome! Your hosts and behisstrength will be around, of course but the mundanes won't, so ( Read more... )
Location: 12 Olie Street in the Phanga neighbourhood.
Time: Throughout the afternoon.
Style: Whatever you wish!
Status: This is an open log for Gracia's birthday celebrations, so set up threads and mingle with one another. Anybody is welcome! Your hosts and behisstrength will be around, of course but the mundanes won't, so ( Read more... )
But why didn't he come back? Why did he hide? Didn't he know his daughter survived the battle? He could have come to her, she would have welcomed him back without hesitation - and then it hit her. Gracia's hands fell slowly down her lap, the necklace grasped limply in her palm. Things happened differently for them, all the talk about alternate universes and timelines...it all made sense. She moves her head to glance at Motochika, then to her father. She looked like she was about to cry, a stark contrast to her previous disposition before seeing the necklace. No wonder he wanted her to save it for last. ]
Where was I, father? In your time, where was I during Yamazaki? [ She turns away abruptly. ] I wasn't there. You went to this place on the necklace because you had nowhere else to go. [ Gracia couldn't help herself. A single tear manages to fall. ] And Motochika...he...[ Died. Another tear falls. ]
[ Give her a minute to let it all sink in. There was so much she didn't know, so much she kept hidden and locked away. All the depression, the tension...it was all coming back whether she willed them to or not. Give her a minute. This was painful. ]
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Look at my face, my girl.
[He looks at her directly, eyes sad but posture strong, so she can see his face properly. Mitsuhide is only 25 years old, and if she was to really look, she would see how young he was.]
In my Japan, I was obviously born later than in yours. There is more. You see, I have no wife... I had no daughter...
[Because he'd been so focused on his devotion to Nobunaga that the pleas of his family to take a wife had been, if not ignored, then put to one side. I can marry once his rule is certain. That is what he had always thought. Fate had made it otherwise.]
Whatever happened in Yamazaki for you, I know this; I would never abandon you or Lord Motochika in battle. Whatever version of me it may be. If I disappeared before my dear Lord d-died, then... then it was not willingly. I also know that after Yamazaki, I felt worthless. No good to anyone.
[Mitsuhide did not stop looking at Gracia. It was taking a lot of effort to hold back his own sorrow; he blinked once, and his eyes became stronger, masking what he felt. Everything about him was reassuring, kind, certain. No doubt he would later need to seek comfort from Motochika, but for now...]
You have always told me you knew I survived, you knew I had lived. If you can hold onto that certainty, Gracia, then I can tell you what you will likely find, if you seek out that hut.
[He took a moment to breathe, giving her time to process what he had said and himself time to prepare for what she was likely to say and ask. Strong. He had to been strong for her, right now. Mitsuhide spares a glance for Motochika, a slightly pleading expression moving across his features briefly.]
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Despite the dramatic turn of mood -- despite Gracia's tears and Mitsuhide's underlying sorrow -- he recognises that this is a step forward on the long path to healing. They have not lead easy lives, but they have survived, and so they must reconcile themselves with the past and carry that with them into the future. No one else can do it for them.
Motochika moves so that he can take a hand each into both of his; he brings Mitsuhide's and Gracia's hands together, afterwards, and then holds them between his own palms. His grip firm, though not uncomfortably so.
They needed this talk -- that much was clear. That did not mean they had to go without physical comfort, the literal feeling of not being alone, as they addressed loss and abandonment.]
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Strangely enough though, it didn't hurt. It was merely the motion that she felt inside of her, but it brought her no pain.
After Motochika moves to place their hands together she finds herself breaking eye contact briefly, just so she can glance at it - all three of their hands joined together in one way or another. She blinks, feeling the warmth radiate from the contact. She moves her fingers gently across her father's palms, eventually intertwining them. She realizes that the necklace in her hand was trapped underneath their hands as well. It makes her smile a bit. ]
I can't imagine you being that different. Even if you had no family where you came from, you're still my father. [ Gracia looks up at him again. ] Nothing will change that.
I know you would never abandon me or Motochika. But I was still scared when you left. I was finally by your side during your battles, and then all of a sudden, you were gone and I didn't know what to do again. [ She looks back down at their hands, and grasps his a bit more firmly than before. ] I never stopped believing you'd come back. I never once considered you died. Never.
You must have been so alone in that place on the necklace...[ When she finally finds the courage to look back at her father's gaze, those eyes so sad and hurt and in pain, Gracia's cheeks are already stained with tears, unable to hold them back any longer. Her poor father. ] We were both so alone...
[ She hiccups quietly. She had so much to tell him, but she couldn't find the composure to do so yet. ]
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[One day... as far as he was concerned, they would all be returned to their worlds. Different versions of the same one, but still different. Nothing that Motochika had ever said had managed to persuade him otherwise. Back in his own, there was nobody who would miss him. His daughter and his lover, in their own, should not be alone and would not. The ache in his own heart at the thought of it did not matter.]
[His eyes remain strong, though, even as those thoughts run through his mind. He tightens his own grip.]
Breathe deeply, my girl. Nice and steady. You will not need to be alone again.
[In truth, every time he has heard it, a part of him has felt a little unsure of the wisdom of allowing her into battle. How had that happened? Mitsuhide would have done everything he could to shield her from war. Loss, pain, death... there was no need for her to be so directly exposed. Gracia must have made the decision herself, to follow him. How do the people he loves most always end up being so stubborn? It makes him feel a wave of fondness amongst all the sad emotions currently dominating him.]
The Mitsuhide you find there... will be everything I said. A broken man who feels useless, and deserving of his fate. There is a strong likelihood you will be told it is better for you to live a good life without him, for both... logical and illogical reasons.
[He closes his eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply himself.]
You will face a difficult battle, Gracia. It will likely take a long, long time before you can draw him out of the hut.
[Who would know better than himself, after all? Nearly a year in Vatheon, and still...]
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The choice of gift says plenty about Mitsuhide: that Mitsuhide had never truly given up on living despite all appearances. Perhaps their happiness will always be tempered by the tragedy they have experienced, but to Motochika eyes, this is a sign that even in their own versions of their land, they will both be at peace one day.]
Yet in time you will succeed, or you would not have been given this gift.
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The Akechi stubbornness was present in both of them, it seemed, though in different manners. ]
[ She pauses for some time, letting all the words and emotions sink even deeper into her core. A broken man - that was what she would find if she chose to seek him out. A broken man who had all his dreams shattered and had his only support taken away from him. In part, she felt a tad bit guilty. So that was what she addresses first. Gracia glances at Motochika, her red hair slightly veiling part of her face. ]
I shouldn't have left you. When father disappeared, you and I kept fighting. You told me to run to the forest, to escape. [ She bites her lip, though she keeps her gaze firmly at him. ] I shouldn't have gone. I could have saved you. I'm sorry.
[ She closes her eyes, and turns her head back towards their joined hands. Yes, it was the underlying foundation for her wanting to spend time with Motochika in Vatheon. She knew that no matter what happened, the moment she went back home, Motochika would sadly remain dead. He may have been closer with her father, but Gracia had her own bond with him as well. The time they had now was borrowed, but she made sure it was borrowed time well spent anyway. Their time here was everything she would never see when she returned home. ]
[ Gracia feels that fire in her burn even brighter than before. From that despair that pains her heart - to see her father sink into depression and loneliness, to witness the death of a great man without being able to prevent it - she feels something slither out from underneath the ashes and rise...
She is no longer in tears when she turns her chin up. Gracia's frown is no longer completely due to sorrow (though in truth, it lingered still and she knew it would continue to for quite some time) but now, it was also there because of purpose. She rapidly removes her hands from their joint grasp and stands tall, the necklace still gently dangling in her grip. She looks at both of them, sharp green eyes etching their faces so permanently into her mind that it almost feels painful. She takes a deep, quiet breath and speaks. ]
I was too late for Motochika. And I'll never get that back, ever again. [ Another breath. ] But father, I won't let it happen a second time. I won't let anything or anyone stop me from finding you the moment I come home! [ Gracia shakes her head. ] May it be my husband, may it be Hideyoshi, may it be whoever!
[ Gracia kneels in front of the couch, still in between the two men, and starts to lose momentum. The whirlwind of emotion was, admittedly, very draining. ]
I will find you. And I don't care how long it will take me to convince you to leave your hut. Your dream for a gentle peaceful land...as long as you have me by your side, it will happen.
[ She leans her forehead on the edge of the couch. Her words were now reduced to small whispers. ]
Nobody deserves to feel alone. Especially not you.
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[Even now, Mitsuhide could not fathom why Hideyoshi had let him do so. Punishment or mercy? Maybe both? Perhaps things were a little different in Gracia's world, but he would likely not be an obstacle, provided his other self was kept out of sight.]
[But no matter what, Gracia is strong; a lot stronger than he himself was, even if she felt otherwise. It is something to feel proud of, and he does. She is definitely going to be okay, in Vatheon and beyond. Time, and her own fire, would ensure that.]
Stay strong, keep safe, and chase your happiness, my girl. [He touches her shoulder gently as she sinks down.] You have spirit and stubbornness just like Lord Motochika, so I know you can.
[Mitsuhide manages a smile, but in truth, he is getting worn down himself and it's beginning to show just barely in his expression. The strength he'd utilised to hold his mask in place was draining, overwhelmed by a flood of negative feelings.]
I have faith in you.
[It was not really him she was making her vow to, after all, but the Father from her world. The Father she was speaking to would be alone, when he returned to Japan, and that was that.]
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Not that any good would come out of saying as much, so Motochika does not voice it.
What's done is done.
Some good has come out of it, at least -- Gracia's resolve is the kind of legacy that honours the departed.
Motochika raises his eyebrows a fraction at mention of a husband, but that's a matter for Mitsuhide to address first, and a glance at the younger samurai reveals that Mitsuhide's thoughts are elsewhere.
Motochika recognises that expression. Silently he places a hand upon the small of Mitsuhide's back.]
The promise of a better tomorrow... there is an additional reason to celebrate. [Dwelling will do no good now; it's an unsubtle hint.] The day is not done yet.
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Father, you're part of my happiness. I want you around, always.
[ Somehow, her birthday became bittersweet. She was supposed to be happy today, to enjoy herself, but now...now her mind was filled with other things to worry about. Still, she couldn't allow the hardwork put into the party to go to waste, so she leans back straight and puts on her necklace quietly. ]
I'm almost an adult. One more year to go, and I really won't be a child anymore. [ Gracia smiles, though there was little mirth. ] I hope I'll still be in this city by then. [ She looks at the two, sadly. ]
I hope I don't have to leave. This place is like the land you've always dreamed of. Nobody is fighting, everyone is at peace. The curses are bad sometimes, but they go away after a while.
[ She bites her lip. It was extremely selfish on her part, but Gracia couldn't seem to bring herself to care. She says nothing else after that. Her words, her expression, they all imply what she truly desires. Perhaps it wasn't to stay in this city forever, but for her family to be happy once more. And in a large way, Vatheon brought them that happiness. She takes a deep breath again and stands, gathering her presents into her arms. Well, as much as she can carry at least. When she smiles back at them, it's not as melancholic, but it was at least genuine. ]
I'll take these up to my room, now.
[ Before she turns her back completely, she looks back and the smile has disappeared. ]
And I'm never going to take off this necklace. I promise.
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[With a last surge of strength, Mitsuhide offers Gracia a warm smile before she leaves and says:]
You will be happy. Everything I see in you, and heard from you today, tells me this is true.
[A nod.]
Lord Motochika is right. There is much of the day left; your friends will be here soon, I am sure. Keep smiling, Gracia.
[He waits long enough for her to leave and get to her room before speaking again. Glancing at his lover, still sat at his side, he lets his mask slip and asks:]
Do you think that was the right thing to do, my Lord?
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Yes.
[A life untouched by sorrow was impossible for those born into their age. The necklace had brought deep-seated pain to the surface for both father and daughter, yet it also gave hope for the future. It was ultimately a resounding step forward.]
For Gracia, and for yourself.
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